The day today frankly did not work out in the morning - I knocked over yogurt and had to change clothes, crashed into the door at work and earned a bruise, and even the new client was rude to the fullest. And although I have lived to be a senior designer, I still don’t know how to react to rudeness and behave correctly.

I complained to the girls at dinner about all my sorrows, and now we got hooked on a new client - in the end, some people really don’t take arrogance, and it’s better to be able to resist it. We had a good chat, took out a lot of useful things, and came up with many ways to respond to rudeness and not lose dignity at the same time.

Of course, those who know how to be rude know best how to deal with rudeness. I don’t know how, I’d rather endure, listen, and apologize - if a person is rude to me, then I’m probably doing something wrong.

Colleagues at work advised me to immediately begin to unlearn victim behavior, and then I had to google well. Victim behavior, or victim behavior, is a situation in which one person behaves in such a way that it is convenient for another to insult and humiliate him.

Remember, you must have seen such people - any brawler immediately sees fertile ground in them, they always get into stupid circumstances, something constantly happens to them both at home and at work. So, the reasons for rudeness:

• you are not ready to respond to rudeness;
• you do not know how to properly respond to insults;
• you feel guilty;
• you are too soft and pliable person who is easy to subordinate to your will.

I understand that every girl is likely to say that she, they say, what a queen, but I advise you to sit down and think carefully in private. And you will find situations in which you show your own victimhood.

We are naturally gentle, and with a good upbringing, every girl can be taught to experience guilt on a regular basis. How to deal with rudeness, if it seems to you that you are to blame for it?

How can you learn to respond to harsh words with dignity and the right way if you are trembling with fear? You have to overcome your fear and insecurity.

However, the reasons for rudeness are also different. Learn to quickly determine what mood a person is in, what his thoughts are doing - and you will understand the essence of his actions. The reasons for rudeness can be:

• aggression (this applies more to men, they have enough high level aggression and they sometimes let off steam on those who are inferior to them in some way);
• fatigue (as in the situation with my client - the girl was just tired, it seemed to her that I was not too attentive, and she got rude to me);
• low level of culture (it is hardly possible to do something here);
• a feeling of impunity (when a person is not in a good mood and sees that they will not answer him for rudeness - he can be rude);
• coincidence (well, this happens too).

While discussing the morning situation with colleagues (at that time the customer had already called and apologized for her behavior, and I, in turn, apologized for my irritability and complained about a bad day), we recalled various cases of rudeness and arrogance.

We agreed that it is not always necessary to respond to insolence - sometimes you still shouldn’t get involved. You have to be mindful of the consequences. But sometimes you can answer beautifully - this will put the rude person in his place, and help to cheer himself up a little.

What to change in your behavior so that people stop being rude

One of my colleagues travels to work at the same time by public transport, and told us that she regularly sees the same elderly woman who rides early in the morning and swears with people. Well, this is the sport of a person.

Remarkably, a woman never turns to those who can somehow respond to her trick - young people and schoolchildren, who are mostly lost if an adult swears at them, become the objects for verbal picks.

Also, quite often, according to my colleague, a woman is rude to her peers, only of a certain category of them - you probably know such grannies who drive with pursed lips and the same pursed peeling reticules, and tint their hair with blue. The seasoned intelligentsia, as my mother calls them. Such people most often do not stoop to respond to rude people.

If you often think about how to respond to rudeness, try changing some of your behavior so that people behave with you more politely.

First of all, you need to learn how to be confident. A woman who looks confident and behaves beautifully is less likely to encounter rudeness. Straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, slightly raise your chin. You should not smile too widely, but it is better to slightly raise the corners of the mouth - this will give the face a pleasant expression.

Be neat and tidy in your clothes. Most often they are rude to klutzes and sluts.
Do not demonstrate sudden mood swings, react to everything sedately and consistently.

How to keep your spirits up when you're being rude

This question for me is one of the most difficult in this whole situation. Because if you wish, you can learn to answer, but here's how to resist rudeness internally, so that it doesn't hurt you - this is a problem.

I get upset almost to tears when someone says something unpleasant to me. Therefore, for me it was a great discovery - how to protect yourself from rudeness and not spoil your mood. Colleagues were helpful as always. I'll tell you too.

The fact is that most often a person is rude sincerely. From the heart. That is, just imagine, everything that he says to your face at some unpleasant moment - he sincerely thinks so.

Sit down and think about what it's like to be that person. Bring the situation to the point of absurdity. Here I see a beautifully dressed woman of Rubensian forms, and that hysterical old woman is a fat cow who has taken a seat in a tram.

I see a diligent and smiling janitor from one fraternal republic, and my upstairs neighbor is an unpleasant maniac, practically a murderer who steals rakes.

I see a lot of tired people who are patiently standing in a traffic jam and want to get home, and the man who heart-rendingly presses the signal for the fourth time in a minute - he is apparently sure that we are all standing in spite of him. Represented? I'm absolutely serious. Such people can only be pitied.

I'm not saying that you need to show compassion for those who pour mud on you, but it seems to me that after such an "experience" it is much easier not to be offended by a person who says unpleasant things. His world is a disgusting, vile place if he is forced to act like that.

What to say in response

How to resist rudeness - to react or not? Everyone decides this question for themselves in their own way. I think you will have to solve it every time you hear something unpleasant addressed to you. It all depends on the interlocutor, on the mood, on the environment and, in fact, on the words spoken by the interlocutor.

I am for rudeness to be answered beautifully, intelligently and politely. So, the best ways to properly answer a boor.

1. We devaluate what has been said, doubting the form. I think you know very well that some people make mistakes in oral speech. One of the most simple ways pull up a person - ridicule his mistake. Remember the immortal “Lyudko, and Ludko! “Ugh, village!”? Listen carefully to what your opponent is saying and attach yourself to literally every expression. Usually people in the heat of the moment don't pay much attention to what and how they say it.
2. Use the tool of the interlocutor - generalize! In general, it is very rare for one person to have specific claims against another. Most often, rudeness is the result of a bad mood, and they express it to someone who comes to hand. That is, everything that is said to you is actually some kind of “mythical you”.

   To you - to whom? Women? Car enthusiasts? Those who came to work in a red blouse? Point out this moment in the dispute, or, on the contrary, call the offender to account for something that he obviously did not do.

3. Contrast stupidity beautifully! This trick can be learned from those who Soviet time did some kind of promotional work. Don't want to work? And in Africa, children are starving! It would seem, how are you to blame for this? But the brain of a Russian person helpfully makes a logical chain, and somehow it turns out that the children in Africa are starving precisely because of you.

   This skill is useful in dialogues with nervous elderly people. In any case, the phrase always saves me Here you are shouting, and in the evenings there are alcoholics on the playground!” in quarrels with a neighbor. I can’t say that it’s so beautiful and correct, but it works. Do you know how? She immediately understands that yelling at me is an empty business, after all, I'm a good girl. But alcoholics really need to be driven. And who will drive them, if not her? And immediately all the fuse in my direction disappears.

4. Well, the last thing that now helps me in my work is when a client starts to climb into my workflow, I ask, why does he pay me money if he knows how it will be better? This is a good sobering thing for those who think they know everything. I say this in a peaceful, friendly tone - just to remind you that they are clients, and they came to me as a professional for services.

Be confident in yourself, come up with good answers and do not take any tram boors to heart!

People are rude, rude and will be rude, it is hard to believe that this can be eradicated. They are rude for various reasons: they are not brought up, there is not enough culture, they are afraid, they are protected, and so on. Of course, you often think about the reasons that prompted a person to be rude to you, but in the first moments it is more important to decide how to respond to rudeness. Feeling an unfair attitude towards yourself, stand on the same level with a boor and answer the same? Actually, it's the easiest. But it is much more pleasant to answer rudeness beautifully. This will not only lift you up (in your eyes and in the eyes of ... yes, yes, boor), but, perhaps the most pleasant thing, it will most of all enrage your ill-mannered interlocutor. His goal is to hurt you, insult you, bring you into conflict. And you, on here, do not go on about. How to implement it? How nice to respond to rudeness? More on this later.

We answer rudeness beautifully

Your main weapon is humor and a smile. Although there is a situation when a sharp ironic phrase in response to rudeness can be accompanied by a completely restrained facial expression. However, this option of responding to rudeness must be used quite carefully in dealing with people higher in status than you (bosses, teachers, etc.). We will talk about these options: the answer is on an equal footing and when the interlocutor has a higher status.

Ham higher status: answer

Yes, it also happens, for example, an unrestrained teacher or a very harmful boss, in general, anyone on whom you are somewhat dependent. Laughter and mockery in response to rudeness on their part can be fraught with undesirable consequences for you.

1. Avoiding conflict. If possible, leave silently. You can be warned that you will return when the stars are favorable to your conversation.
2. Endless refinements. The boss throws your project aside, shouting that everything is bad. You, putting on a restrained expression very calm voice You ask: "What exactly is wrong?". In general, he should answer. "Everything!" he shouts again. "In the first paragraph? Or in the second? Or maybe here ...?" In short, your task is to calmly and (!) endlessly clarify without mockery.
3. You can also use humor, but again we will clarify - carefully. Sarcasm should not be felt in your words, the opponent should not feel irony.
4. Consent, partial consent. Again, depending on the situation. If rudeness is of the kind that does not imply recognition of an unfair accusation (and the like), then you can simply agree. For example: "Che, blind or something?" - "I haven't been to the optometrist for a long time, but in general recent times eyes are disturbing" (also with ears).

Ham equal to us

Well, just choose according to the situation. The main thing to remember is the goal - we do not descend to the level of a boor, but rise above it; we do not go on about, but manage the conversation. Here, of course, it will be necessary to practice, sharpen the language, as they say. Humor here, after all, is the main thing. It happens that humor is harsh, use it in proportion to rudeness.

• You can just smile. Silently. Handsomely.
• "I will not laugh at those over whom nature has already pissed off."
• "And you continue, when you speak, I feel so (them) smart (th) myself."
• "Don't be rude, rude, rude."
• "Digging someone else's life because your own failed?"
• “I don’t need to show my teeth, I’m not a dentist” or “You will open your mouth at the dentist.”
• "You're not so handsome (a) to be rude to me."
• "Why so nervous? Did you fall off the broom?"
• "Don't you like me? Let me shoot myself."
• You listen to rudeness, smile and calmly (!) answer: “But you wouldn’t go ... to the bathhouse.”
• "Oh, no, where am I to you!.. Still fall and fall..."
• Ask the question: "Are you being rude to me? And for what purpose?"
• You listen, and then the key remark: "Is that all?", or "Well, I'll go?", or "Do you want to talk more, or are your complexes exhausted?"
• "Learn to think and speak at the same time."
• "I thought your stock of stupidity was exhausted on this, but you continue to amaze me!"
• "To speak with you on the same level, I'll have to lie down."
• "Pay attention, this is a plinth" - point to the nearest one - "and remember, this is your level."
• "I would send you, but I see you only from there."
• "Do you have the only positive characteristics of the Rh factor?".
• In response to "Che, stupid?" - "Well, you probably saves the bone marrow ...".
• "Didn't you scare Babayka as a child?"
• In response to "go to ..." - "Don't worry, I'll go with an orgasm" (girls).
• "You're doing the right thing by giggling, you don't laugh with teeth like that."
• In response to rudeness in the store (saleswoman), on the bus: just pitifully examine the person and say: "Poor thing."

Here's how to respond to rudeness in different situations. Use humor, diminutive forms, be gentle with boors, you just need to feel sorry for them.

We all have to deal with rudeness, insults and rudeness from time to time. And those of us who do not know how to properly respond to insults have to endure resentment, get angry and accumulate depression in ourselves. Many, not knowing how to adequately respond to an insult with their rash words, deeds and actions, provoke serious conflicts and, neglecting common sense, enter into “internecine wars”.

It happens that a person, not knowing how to respond to an insult, uses his fists, sometimes even in cases where the situation does not require even the slightest reaction. The inability to answer the offender with a word, the inability to find the right words in order to put the bully in his place is the cause of bad mood, stress, health problems, suicides, fights and even murders. You say I'm over-dramatizing the situation? But it really is!

In order to learn how to respond to insults, it is not enough just to memorize beautiful phrases and expressions, you need to understand what an insult is, what are its motives in each specific case, learn to respond (it’s not about what to answer, but about a psychological reaction to rudeness, humiliation and criticism), and of course it’s wise, dignified and beautiful respond to these jokes.

So what is an insult? Insult is a deliberate infliction of insult, humiliation of the honor and dignity of a person, often expressed in a rude and indecent form. In addition, as verbally, an insult can be inflicted in writing or in the form of actions (obscene gesture, push, spit, slap, etc.), openly or in the absence of a face.

An insult is always a negative assessment, given behavior and human qualities, in a form contrary to socially accepted rules of conduct, morality and ethics. In most countries, insult is a crime, for which, according to the idea, an inevitable punishment should always follow (in Russia, after Article 130 of the Criminal Code has become invalid, insult is an administrative offense, and liability for it is provided for by Article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses). However, in this article we will omit the moment of such a reaction as the defense of honor and dignity in court, and we will try to figure out how to react and respond to insults on our own.

Today there are many different psychological tricks which can help to adequately respond to the insult. However, each of them is based on the initial understanding of the intentions and goals of the offender, inflicting "poisonous injections." Therefore, in order to competently parry the insult and put the presumptuous interlocutor in his place, you first need to realize the hidden motives of the opponent and take care of the antidote.

How to respond to insults and accusations

You have been scolded by accident or on purpose. For business? Hurt? Remember that any feeling or emotion, including insult (resentment combined with a feeling of strong humiliation) arises inside a person. Therefore, we cannot be offended, we can only be offended.

First of all, do not take the insult literally and take every word personally. If your offender has a bad mood or is poorly educated, this does not mean that you are to blame.

In order for a person to learn how to properly respond to insults, it is important to know that the one who splutters and behaves inappropriately, throwing insults to the right and left, is himself a victim. A victim of his eccentric nature. Usually, people who attack others and humiliate them are weak. They are unable to cope with negative emotions and therefore splash them out on others. As a rule, someone offended them too, and, unable to cope with the bitterness that overwhelms them, they “merge” it in this way (often people offend and are rude out of a sense of envy). So is there any point in being offended by a toadstool?

How to respond to an insult if the offender is yours close person? If you value relationships, then you should talk and dot the Y. Calmly and openly tell him that his words hurt you deeply (namely, the words of loved ones hurt us the most, even when we seem to have learned to calmly respond to insults from strangers, unfamiliar or just acquaintances). Discuss the situation and you will feel better.

The most preferred response to insults stranger- ignoring. Simply do not notice the rude person (of course, if the situation does not require the opposite behavior), imagine that he is not around, and the opinion and words of a stranger are an empty phrase. If you are not in the category of people wanting to please everyone then it will be easy for you.

If you are offended by a work colleague or boss, remember that careful avoidance of the conflict will always be beneficial. The words of a colleague who still cannot calm down and on whom your silence does not work can be answered with some neutral taunt. And with the boss jokes are bad. Therefore, it is better to listen to the opinion of psychologists who advise in this situation not to conflict and not to respond to insults, but to present your leader as a capricious little child who whimpers and fights all the time. Mentally patting his head, calm him down. Feed with semolina and sit on the pot. Those who have tried this method say that the effect is amazing. Not only does it make you smile and endure offensive remarks with ease, it will also give you inner strength that your boss will definitely notice.

Workout calm reaction to insults will bring you only dividends, namely positive mood, increase in working capacity, stability and balance. By learning to respond to aggressive attacks with serene calmness (it can be expressed both in words and deeds, and in silence), you can disarm the offender every time and make him think about whether it is worth behaving like this with you.

How to correctly respond to an insult, given the type of criticism

Before responding to an insult, quickly analyze what was said, and if it looks more like constructive criticism (the insult, in fact, has nothing to do with what we are), immediately admit that you are wrong, start with “Yes”: “ Yes, you are absolutely right." If you doubt the reasons for the attacks and do not know how to respond to a barb and a remark addressed to you, ask a clarifying question. For example, if the matter does not concern your real omissions or blunders, and the angry tirade uttered by your opponent is intended to belittle and insult you, then the phrase - “Do you have a specific proposal?” Will confuse him. An adequate person, even in the case of a harsh statement, will justify his opinion and offer other options.

If you agree, even with unpleasant, but fair criticism, do not apologize unless absolutely necessary. Just agree, constantly apologizing people look not self-confident.

In the event that an insult or accusation is only partly true, acknowledge it in part. For example, they tell you that you are always late (this hardly looks like an insult, but if it is said in a rude and aggressive form, and even in public, someone may consider it as such). A decent response would be something like, "Yes, I'm late today." Or here's another example: "You are an illiterate specialist and constantly make spelling mistakes." A worthy response to an insult would be the phrase: “Yes, There are two spelling errors in this report».

A completely unfair insult can be answered with a counter-question, asked on the merits of rudeness. They can be of several types:

• Clarifying questions such as: “Why do you think so?”, “What exactly do you mean?”, “Why are you personally interested in this?”, “What did you mean by this?” etc., rarely, but they give a result. If a person begins to answer them, he will imperceptibly drive himself into a dead end. However, you should not count on this (although you can try), after clarifying questions, the offender, as a rule, does not calm down (he also uses an unfair type of criticism without substantiating his rudeness) and answers something like: “Don’t you yourself guess?” or "I mean, you're a slacker and untalented." It is worth being patient, of course, if you want to respond to the insult culturally, and continue to calmly ask further.
• Factual questions are a call to voice the facts and give examples: “Names, appearances, passwords?”, “Please name the facts”, “Give an example”, etc. If your detractor answers these questions too common phrases: “There are many examples and facts ...”, “You yourself understand everything perfectly ...”, etc. - continue to “torture” him further or stop the dialogue with a phrase, they say, you even have nothing to say in fact.
• Alternative questions will help the offender formulate specific claims and say what he is really unhappy with: “Maybe you are not satisfied with my lack of punctuality or the way I dress and look? Maybe you don't like how I communicate with customers or how I make reports? Here, perhaps, you will hear a specific answer, unless of course the opponent really has something to present to you. If yes, then proceed as described above.
• Devastating questions: “You are not satisfied with the way I make reports, the way I look, the way I communicate. What else doesn’t suit you in me? ”- they are asked so that your critic or the person insulting you expresses everything and does not touch you for as long as possible.

It is likely that leading questions that you ask in a calm tone will cause amazement and even indignation in the critic. This is normal and means that he feels your advantage in this situation. He is used to being justified or submissively silent in front of him, and you kindly try to figure everything out and take into account specific and objective comments as soon as they are voiced.

How to respond to insults: general rules

The first thing to be learned by a person who does not know how to respond to an insult- this is that in no case should one stoop to mutual insulting accusations and thoughtless reactions. Firstly, from the outside it looks very stupid and funny. Secondly, maybe you are falling for some manipulative influence. So why start playing by someone else's rules, with the possibility of being caught in cleverly placed nets.

In most cases, it is better to respond to insults not only politely and civilly, but at least calmly and with dignity. In some situations (for example, in the case of trolling), the best answer is to completely ignore the offender.

If you are naturally calm and well-mannered person, then cultural response to insult a born boor is quite difficult and most often meaningless. You are obviously a loser, because you start playing on someone else's court and by someone else's rules. You must stay in your field. If you can calmly and reasonably answer, then answer, but another problem is that the boor's receptors that perceive your arguments do not work. So it's best to turn around and leave. This is the easiest way to respond to an insult.

Often responding to criticism, people make a mistake - they begin to make excuses: no, I'm not like that, you are unfair to me, I'm not to blame ... Excuses put you in the position of a humiliated one - this is, firstly. Secondly, they are not interesting and not needed, as a rule, they are not even listened to. Agree, it’s stupid to make excuses to a person for whom to say some kind of taunt or insult - a desire to play on emotions, a way of self-affirmation (in this situation, you can ask - “Well, did you assert yourself at my expense?”) Or a desire to stand out. Therefore, when listening to insults, always try to understand why they want to insult you.

Difficult days happen to everyone, and perhaps a rude remark broke from the lips of your interlocutor by accident. In this case, the question is "Bad day?" will be sufficient. A normal person will agree and apologize for being harsh. However, asking such a question to a “troll” is not The best way respond to an insult, as this can cause a whole stream of impartial expressions from him in your direction.

Sometimes it is not necessary to respond to an insult, it is enough just to ask the person in a non-aggressive or even friendly way about what he said. Pretend that you did not hear or, in thought, simply did not pay attention to his statement. Only frank Hamlo will repeat the insult.

If you still decide to answer the offender, and it doesn’t matter whether the situation requires it or you just feel like it, you should not rush at the enemy with objections directly. Be cool, silence accusations and insults with well-aimed and witty answers, but only after you have fully listened to all the attacks addressed to you. Firstly, you will have time to think and find a sharp word, and secondly, you will be able to moderate your ardor and maintain sobriety of thought. And if this is a situation where your detractor is acting on emotions (i.e. this is not a planned and carefully thought out attack), you can give him the opportunity to discredit himself to the fullest.

Some attacks can be answered with humor. When an insult seems to be not an insult at all, but just a harmless mockery, or when you need to answer and defuse the situation without spoiling the relationship, the joke is quite appropriate. This approach has another plus. He will save you from further insults and attacks from a person who takes pleasure in seeing his victim feel anger or some other negative emotions. After all, if you react to his attacks with a smile, therefore, you don’t care, and you don’t even think to get angry, offended or swear. Humor will take away the rude man, putting him into a stupor. And he's like energetic vampire going in search of a new victim.

Do not joke if the insults are serious, hurting your honor and dignity. Otherwise, both the offender and those around you will decide that you can safely “wipe your feet” about you.

How to learn to respond to insults and not provoke new ones

It will help you to get out of any verbal duel as a winner and put in place a presumptuous interlocutor ability to express thoughts quickly. In order to learn how to respond to insults witty and most importantly on time, do not hesitate to arrange comic duels with acquaintances, friends or work colleagues. Remember that in each fight you gain the necessary experience and skill.

There are people who are rude more often than others. There is such a thing - the psychology of the victim. Sacrificial people who are easy to offend (he has such an appearance, he behaves this way, it can be seen from him that he will not be able to respond to an insult) - he will always find his boor. Here you need to ask yourself the question: “Why do people talk to me like that? Maybe the problem is in me if this is repeated periodically?

Often people are not able to somehow respond to an insult because of their own insecurity, low self-esteem or natural shyness. Having heard unpleasant words addressed to them, they, overwhelmed by fear, cannot utter a word. Here we need an integrated approach - having started the fight against these qualities, constantly practice the ability to correctly respond to insults. And remember, the reaction to rudeness and boorish behavior must come from the depth of inner steadfastness.

In addition, fear transmitted through some absolutely unthinkable channels can spur the offender to more and more rudeness. So in any conflict situation, including responding to insults, it is necessary, first of all, to curb your fear. We are so arranged that, not knowing how to defend ourselves from insult, we involuntarily begin to breathe deeper, strain our eyes, clench our fists or cross our legs and arms. Try to follow your emotions in such situations, and consciously control your external manifestations.

How to intelligently respond to an insult: examples, situations, phrases

When insulting, people often use formulaic expressions. So to know how to properly respond to an insult, you can make a list of frequently observed rudeness and come up with adequate responses to them.

To make it more clear to you in which direction to move, I suggest that you familiarize yourself with typical insults and possible options decent response. Perhaps my answers were not original enough, I'm sure you can come up with a better one.

If an ill-wisher with a false note in his voice notices that you look bad because of yesterday's feast, thank him for his indifference, and in turn show concern for the offender's appearance: “It's strange, you seem to have been at home all evening yesterday (a) , but you still look crumpled. Look at the bruises under your eyes." Well, or say that you forgot to look in the mirror as you were in a hurry to get to work, and then, after taking a cursory glance at the insolent person, happily add: “Oh, I see, you don’t like to look in the mirror either.”

You can respond to an insult by translating the negative qualities that are attributed to you into virtues. - "You are verbose and talkative." - "Just me sociable person».

If you are insulted and accused, you can remind the person of the expression: “We are what we think about” or the well-known saying “Whoever hurts, he talks about it”, well, or say “Do not judge by yourself”. The point is this: we often suspect others of what we ourselves are capable of, and we need to explain to the person that with his insults he characterizes himself rather than you.

You can turn the reproach in the opposite direction and ask the aggressor how he managed to achieve such outstanding results, master skills that you do not possess, acquire such wonderful character traits (this can be done in a caustic or serious form):

• - "You're crooked!" “How do you manage to keep your hands straight?”
• - "You first day at work, but have already shown themselves as a worthless clumsy. “Share your experience. How do you manage to stay calm in stressful situations?

How to respond intelligently to an insult about your clothes:

• - "Are you dressing in the Chinese market?" “It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, on my figure even beggarly rags will look like a chic dress.

If the offender, wanting to belittle the value of what you did, says that you used bad means in your work, the wrong tools or methods, you can say that, despite the originality of the means used in the work, it was done beyond praise and the result speaks for itself. myself.

Try wisely respond to an insult, which sounded to you in a bar, restaurant or store is not worth it (unless in order to hone your skill in sharp and quick attacks). The correct reaction would be to call the administrator or ask for a complaint book. A few such complaints and a rude employee will be fired.

If you have to listen to insults from some official, then you just need to ask very politely to tell you his position, as well as his full name. Those who use this technique to cool the ardor of a negligent employee know that it works very well. One gets the feeling that at that moment a tub of cold water was poured on him.

You can respond to an insult like a luminous Buddha - with a radiant smile and wishing the offender all the brightest. Of course, such a reaction is not always appropriate and not suitable for everyone, because each case of insult is individual and people are different, so there cannot be universal answers. Choose the tactics of behavior that suits you best. Try, experiment, but do it wisely.

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

Rudeness, vulgarity, swearing, insults and other impartial things are a widespread and depressing phenomenon, an ineradicable evil in the modern world.

While most people strive to be polite, tactful, and courteous to each other, there are times in life when when you just can't get away from rudeness. The correct response to aggression from the outside can help not only to curb the rude person, but also to maintain one's own self-esteem. Let's try to answer the question - how to respond to an insult funny and sarcastic?

Why do people insult each other?

Rudeness and rudeness are common in a number of various reasons starting from the banal bad mood and ending with a whole list personality traits. Basically, people are impudent and rude to others because:

• Do not experience satisfaction from life;
• They have an inferiority complex, groundless arrogance and egocentrism;
• Have a low level of culture and education;
• They want to provoke someone to exchange insults due to their aggressive nature.

Unhappy, embittered, squeezed, but at the same time ambitious and conceited people are the main generators of rudeness in society. Deliberate neglect of others, the conflicting nature of character, primitive consciousness - all this can seriously ruin the life of balanced and well-mannered people.
How to respond to insults?

Suppose the rude person still does not let up and continues to lead his “opponent” out of peace of mind. It is by no means possible to stoop to his level and start a response tirade full of sophisticated insults. How, then, to besiege the lover of insults?

Important! Rude - always weak and insecure person who is very afraid of being worse than others. This is an axiom that should always be kept in mind in the event of a verbal conflict.

Ignoring

Silence is not only gold, but also the most popular way to deal with rudeness.

Defiantly ignoring various impudent "cattle" can be effective only in the case of absolute equanimity.

No touchy looks, tired sighs and similar reactions! For successfully ignoring insults it is necessary to show the rude that he is an empty place.

calmness

If the previous tactic did not have the desired effect, and the flow of insults continues to spoil the mood of others, then during the “conversation” with rude people, you should try to maintain self-control and not show your confusion.

A frank and firm position expressed calm and confident tone, often acts on the "bazaar boor" as if cold water. Being energy vampires at their core, brawlers draw inspiration from weak, pliable and nervous people. Icy calm drives the rude into a stupor, because he expects the opposite reaction.

You to me, I to you

You can use the method of transferring the negativity of the interlocutor to him. Whatever he says, full agreement with his remarks and gratitude for identifying “flaws” will put the rude out of action. After all, he is waiting for a sharp disagreement with his attacks, how can this be ?!

However, calm phrases like "thanks for the valuable advice", "I'll take note" and other similar options can silence the source of insults. This method works best in public, because a rude person is unlikely to receive any support from outside, and may even be ridiculed.

Sneeze

If ignoring did not help, and the boor continues to pour insulting remarks, you can let him do this until he believes that he is right.

And then sneeze, pause, and say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to that kind of nonsense."

Similar replica will cause confusion, and can reduce the flow of insults to nothing.

What to do if a loved one or colleague is being rude?

A stranger who decides to assert himself with the help of insults at someone else's expense does not deserve attention and deserves only to be ignored. But in the case of people who make up a permanent social circle, this method will not work. Therefore, with rudeness coming from relatives and friends, it is necessary to immediately deal with and clarify all uncomfortable topics.

Another thing is people who, by the will of fate, are colleagues (classmates, fellow students, regular visitors to any institutions).

Important! Gently avoiding the exchange of insults is the first step that almost every sane person takes.

If silent ignorance only provokes a rude person, then you can imagine him as a capricious little child, attracting attention to himself with various boorish phrases. After all, no one will take seriously, albeit rude, but not aware of his behavior, the baby?

Thus, ignoring will help not only to gain protection from all kinds of insults, but also to improve your own mood. Moreover, the rude person will somehow notice the shown stamina, which later may positive side affect his behaviour.

And yet silent ignoring does not always lead to successful settlement of the conflict. sometimes worth it pluck up courage and fend off the brute. For this, the phrases “Who allowed you to talk to people like that?”, And also “You will talk in such a tone with your wife / husband” will do quite well. Most often, such remarks are enough to indicate to the rude man who is who.

When is the best time to ignore insults?

Rendering resistance to rude people is sometimes a deliberately meaningless exercise.

Provocations on the streets, in shops and other public places are best simply ignored.

In principle, a person cannot be liked by everyone, therefore the most advantageous move in such a situation is demonstrative ignoring.

In addition, there is a risk of meeting unstable and inadequate rude people. When exhausting your meager vocabulary they can easily go from simple insults to physical violence. In order not to suffer in a fight, it is best not to enter into any conversations with such rude people and to retire with dignity from the “battlefield”.
How to respond to insults?

Respond nicely to insults

Polite communication discourages rude people, because they do not expect such an unusual reaction. For example, the phrase "Dear, I'm not going to talk to you in that tone" or "Dear, you probably confused me with someone else" can cool the boorish ardor.

Other similar remarks demonstrating good manners and education: "Rudeness does not paint you", "Thank you for showing interest in me", "Don't be upset, you will still succeed."

If this does not work, it is best to say goodbye to the "interlocutor" and leave.

Smart responses to insults

You can ask leading questions that a rude person probably won't be able to answer. Best variants of similar phrases: “Why do you want to hurt me?”, “What do you really want from me?”, “Which answer will suit you, polite or truthful?” etc.

witty answers

The owners of a sharp mind can build a good line of conduct with ill-mannered people.

Responding to criticism with various funny remarks, you can not only beautifully put a person in his place, but also cause general laughter under certain circumstances.

They do this job well following remarks: “Didn’t you scare Babayka as a child?”, “I’m not interested in what you think of me, but I’m glad that you know how to think”, “Go, vacuum the desert!”, “My main drawback is the inability to communicate with rude people "," Do I look like a dentist? Then please shut your mouth."

Shyness and shyness are real food for quarrelsome and scandalous personalities, and ignoring them cannot always improve the situation. It is worth remembering this and at the right moments to overcome yourself, giving a worthy rebuff to various manifestations of human baseness.

Other effective responses to offensive phrases:

• “Sometimes life fails. But you will succeed"
• "Of course of course. Come on in. May you be lucky today” (this helps when someone climbs, pushing, out of line)
• “Rudeness does not suit anyone, and even more so for you”
• “Looks like this is not your role. What do you really need?
• “Thank you for being so attentive to my person”
• “You want to offend me? What about the meaning?
• "It's all?"
• "It's a pity you can't answer that with originality"
• "Something makes me want to talk to you"
• "I don't like the people you're trying to portray"
• “I appreciated the depth of your thought. Thanks"
• "I appreciated your joke. Thanks"
• "Thank you for being so attentive to my personality"
• “Not quite witty, but already something”
• “Witty and funny” (after moving on to another topic of conversation, being distracted by something or someone, leaving the room)

Helpful Hints

No one wants to just put up with the rudeness and rudeness that you can hear in public transport, at work, online, and just on the street.

No need to play the role of a victim, but learn to respond correctly to aggression towards you.

Obviously, for most people, rudeness towards them can negatively affect well-being, self-esteem and performance.

How to respond to rudeness

To be able to respond to rudeness, you first need to work on increasing self-esteem.

It is worth noting that it is not easy to be rude to a person with a strong spirit.

And yet, if you urgently need to learn how to communicate with a boor, you can use one or more methods of struggle.

responses to rudeness


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calmness

When talking with such people, you should never show them that you are confused. Try to express your point of view frankly, firmly and openly.

Try not to get defensive and speak calmly and relaxed.

Most often, rude people are weak, envious people who find it difficult to get used to honesty and calmness, and sometimes they don’t know these words at all. They take energy for their negativity precisely from those people who succumb to rudeness and begin to get nervous. Don't let them feed on your nervousness.

sneezing


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This method is more suitable as a reaction to prolonged rudeness.

If the person who is rude to you cannot stop, you may well help him to do this.

To begin with, try to listen to him calmly, until he himself is convinced that he is right. After that, sneeze loudly and defiantly - there will be a short pause in which you calmly say the phrase: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit" and politely add: "So where did you end up?"

Aikido


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Simply put: you to me, I to you. This method transfers the negativity of your interlocutor to him. You just need to agree with his attacks on you, thank you for the time and effort spent to emphasize your shortcomings.

You can even praise the interlocutor for attentiveness and those "advice" that you heard. Do it calmly and try not to show the causticity of your phrases.

It is worth noting that the more witnesses to the conflict will be, the better for you, because. a rude person is unlikely to receive the necessary approval from the outside, and most likely will cause laughter and jokes in his address.

boredom

A similar method can be used by administrators of forums, sites, blogs and groups in social networks. networks.


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Despite the fact that most community members are familiar with the general rules, some still deliberately violate them, after which they express dissatisfaction in the administrators' personal messages due to the fact that they were denied access.

After all the arguments are over, these characters move on to outright rudeness and rudeness.

It's easiest to just ban, but if you want to prove you're right, try not to be emotional, describe in detail all the errors of the offender. At first, the interlocutor will resist and continue to "have fun" with rudeness, but when he realizes that they are communicating with him dryly, without emotions, he will simply fall behind.

Ignoring

Perhaps the most famous and simplest method of dealing with rudeness. Sometimes silence is not only effective and safe, but also beautiful.


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If you don’t need anything from a rude person, or you are simply not psychologically ready to enter into a debate with him, or if the “interlocutor” is simply out of his mind and can harm your health, just ignore him. Rude people want to win your attention, do not give them this joy.

It is worth noting that it is also necessary to ignore correctly. No need to include an offensive look and sighs- These are signals that you paid attention to him. Do not show any emotions, a boor is an empty place for you.

How beautiful to respond to rudeness




There are several phrases that can be used when "skirmish" with a rude:

"Excuse me, is that all?"

"I had a better opinion of you"

"Rudeness doesn't suit you"

"Do you want a polite answer or the truth?"

"Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?"

"Like everyone else, I also have bad days. Don't be upset, you will succeed"

"Yes, of course, come in. May luck be on your side" (in case someone climbs out of line)

"It doesn't sound like the role is right for you. What do you really want?"

"Thank you for showing interest in my person"

"You want to hurt me? For what?"

How to respond to an insult

If you are accidentally or intentionally scolded, you should not take these words literally and take everything personally.

Understand that if someone who insulted you has Bad mood or is he just not well educated, this does not mean that you are to blame.




In order to be able to respond correctly to insults, you must first of all know that the person who offends you in all possible ways is himself a victim, namely the victim of the obstinacy of his character.

Most often, those who "attack" and try to humiliate others are weak personalities who are simply not able to cope with negative emotions, which makes them splash out on others.

What to do in response to an insult

If insulted by a stranger

The best option is to ignore it. Just try not to notice the one who is trying to offend you. Of course, there are times when you need to act differently, but most often you need to act as if the stranger is not there, and his words are empty words.

If offended by a loved one


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From the very beginning, try to dot the "I". You should calmly and directly tell him that the words spoken hurt you. The right step would be to discuss the situation.

If offended by a work colleague/boss

Under this set of circumstances, try to carefully avoid the conflict. If a colleague relentlessly insults and silence you does not help, try to answer with a neutral barb.


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In the case of the boss, conflicts are not needed, which means that you do not respond to insults. Instead, imagine your manager as a naughty and pugnacious little child.

In your head, pat him on the head, feed him porridge and help him sit on the potty. This is the way psychologists recommend. You will not only endure insults, but also get a good mood, or at least it will cause a smile on your part and increase your efficiency. In addition, the boss may also pay attention to your stamina.

How to respond to an insult

The person who is trying to insult you wants to assert himself, stand out, which means you need to give him a cold answer, "Well, did you assert yourself at my expense?".

Listening to such a person, try to understand what the goal is, why they want to offend you.

* If you do not know how to respond to an insult, then you need to know one important thing - not wellit is necessary to reach mutual insults and rash reactions.

In addition to being silly, you also succumb to manipulation, which can end up as a trap for you. You don't have to play by the rules that are imposed on you.

*Another main rule - respond to rudeness calmly without losing self-respect. But, it is worth noting that the cultural response to the "attack" of the boor most often does not produce any effect, because. The game takes place on someone else's territory and not by your rules.

* When it comes to trolling, or other similar situations, it is best to ignore the offender.


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* It happens that you need to answer, but you obviously know that all your arguments simply will not work against a stubborn rude. In this case, the best option would be turn around and leave.

* The person who insulted you or is trying to do so may just have a bad day. Therefore, with you enough to ask: "Bad day?" . If a person is adequate, he will agree and may even ask for forgiveness.

But, when it comes to a troll, then such a question is not only inappropriate, but can also lead to additional insults against you.

* More often than not, responding to an insult is not a good strategy, and you can get away with it by simply asking the person in a neutral way about what they just said to you. Try to pretend that you did not hear his words or did not pay attention to them. In this case, only a frank boor will continue his "attacks".

* If you find yourself in a situation where it is simply necessary to answer the offender, or you are strangled by the desire to do so, do not rush at him. The main thing is to be calm, cold in words and expressions. It is desirable to suppress insults with witty remarks and only after the interlocutor has finished his monologue.

* Sometimes an insult is more like a mockery. In this case, perhaps the best option would be to answer in the form of a joke, which not only does not offend the person, but also maintains a normal relationship.

One of the common mistakes that people make is trying to justify themselves, they say, "no, you're wrong, it's not my fault". Firstly, such a strategy can make you humiliated, and secondly, trying to justify yourself is simply pointless, because. an excuse, as a rule, no one listens.

uncomfortable questions

"How much?", "When will you get married?", "What is your salary?"- these questions are annoying, and despite the fact that asking them is a bad form, some still cannot help themselves.


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Several situations can be considered, but first we note a few universal answers.

How to original answer

- "I'm amazed at your ability to ask questions that can lead to a dead end!"

- "You are an amazing woman (man). I was always amazed by your ability to ask uncomfortable (correct, difficult, rhetorical) questions!"

- "I'll be happy to try to answer your question, just answer you first, why are you so interested in this?"

- "And for what purpose are you interested in this?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?" If the answer is yes, then simply answer: "And I'm not very" - and end the dialogue with a smile.

If a person is not very pleasant to you, and you have no desire to communicate with him, especially after an incorrect question, you can coldly answer: "That's my fucking business."

- Ask again: "I understand correctly that ..."

Questions about money

When you are faced with an unpleasant question, you have every right not to give the interlocutor any specific answer. For example, to the question "How much do you earn?" you can evade the answer "Like most, the average salary in the industry is (significantly less than Abramovich)."


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You can also answer this question with a counter question. For example, to the question "How much is the jacket?" you can ask the interlocutor how much his jacket costs. Another way to answer this question is significantly overestimate or underestimate the figure and then turn the conversation into a joke.

Questions about work

"What do you do?", "What do you do at work?".


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When answering questions like this, psychologists advise you to name the profession that can give you more confidence in what you are doing. If your work is different, you are doing a lot of different things, you can sort out all the work for the month on the shelves. This way you will know what takes the most time.

Questions about personal life

"Why is there no girl (boyfriend)?", "When is the wedding?", "Why haven't you got married yet?".


© Minerva Studio

Do not take such matters seriously. In response, you can ask the interlocutor why such an unusual question came to his mind. In this case, the interlocutor will be in an awkward situation.

There is another option - just answer directly as it is. For example, to the question "Why one more (one)?" proudly admit that you are patiently looking for your soul mate, who would not leave you in difficult times.

The third option would be "mirroring". For example, "Do I understand correctly that you don't mind holding a candle over my bed?" , or "... that, today, your main task is to discuss my personal life?" , or "... that interest in other people's troubles is in the order of things for you?"

How to respond to rudeness

Hams can be found everywhere. These are people who often experience pressure on themselves, which leads to rudeness as a defense weapon.


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Why are they rude

Reason 1: Despair


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A person has a bad day - so he is rude. For example, a saleswoman who is tired for the whole working day, a client, a colleague, brought to stress.

Most often, such people, after throwing out all the anger on someone, feel guilty about themselves and may even apologize.

If you decide in such a situation to respond with the same weapon, then the feeling of guilt will go away and the person will think that being rude is normal.

Reason 2: Self-affirmation

When a boor humiliates another person, he feels superior to him, especially if this person, for one reason or another, cannot fight back the offender.


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Usually such boors have, albeit not great, but still power. They believe that they can just take out their anger on those who depend on them and get away with it with impunity.

Reason 3: Wanting to be seen

If rudeness is an integral part of a person, then its roots can be hidden in childhood.


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A child always wants attention and love from his parents. If he does not receive this, then he begins to be rude, so that at least somehow they pay attention to him. With age, a person uses the same strategy.

Responses to rudeness

Method 1: You don't have to take everything you say personally.

Often a person who is rude does not do it specifically to you - rather, it is anger at the world in general: ill-mannered youth, men are goats, etc. and only the rude man himself is white and fluffy.


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One can only sympathize with such a boor, because. the world he lives in is not easy to live in. Remember, each person sees the world differently. If a boor says that you are an uneducated person, you can try to refute his statement with your knowledge, but this is unlikely to succeed.

Method 2: Ham should not become the master of the situation

Try not to give the boor power over the situation so that they do not feel stronger.


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If your boss is rude to you, and it’s impossible to get away from it, think about the fact that you are not chained to him for life. You are not a slave, you are only doing your job professionally, i.e. you help him to carry out the work, which means that you can call yourself a partner in a certain business. You can demand more respect for yourself, because. you have every right to do so.

Method 3: Remember your rights

When you are rude in a public place, then you need to fight not with the offenders, but with their superiors.


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Find out the name, surname, position and contacts. You can ask for a book of complaints, if there is one. If this does not help, try contacting a consumer protection society or a lawyer.

Use your weapons - human rights and leverage. This method is suitable if the boor is an official, manager, waiter, security guard and other representatives of large organizations

Method 4: turn on your imagination

Try to imagine an offender behind a glass wall: you see him, you notice that he is saying something, but you simply do not hear.


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You can also imagine a boor in the form of a big fish in an aquarium: it seems that he moves his lips, moves his fins, but it is not clear why all this is.

If you watched the movie "The Matrix", then remember the moment when Neo stopped the bullets fired at him. Imagine that the rudeness thrown at you is bullets, and you are invulnerable, and all the rudeness does not reach you, falling with a ringing on the floor.

Method 5: Try to contact the boor

Try to find out the reason for the aggression. For example, you can say: "Now you are rude to me, why do you need this?" or "You have a smile on your face and you say mean things, so I haven't figured out how to respond to your words yet."


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Perhaps the person who heard you will consider his actions, look at himself from the outside and rethink his behavior. You can use this method when communicating with people with whom you will have to meet and talk more than once - work colleagues, acquaintances, relatives.

There is a chance that a person will look at himself from the outside and rethink something in his behavior.

How beautiful to respond to rudeness


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Rudeness can be well treated with politeness, which scares boors, forcing them to be careful when communicating:

- "You see, dear, I do not intend (a) to communicate with you in such a tone"

- "Dear, you may have confused me with someone"

If the boor cannot stop in any way, after all your attempts, then save your nerves, wish him all the best and leave the place of conversation.

Sometimes a boor needs to be put in place, otherwise you will make them stronger with your silence. A good answer can close the mouth of a boor. But remember, to be rude to rudeness does not put you higher.

Try to use humor. If you are being rude, smile and say "Well, you and blockhead (fool, idiot)!" Such an act can anger the boor even more, whose reaction will make you laugh.

Smiling back often irritates a boor, so smile sincerely.

- "You deign to be rude to me ... Why? Is your goal to offend me? Why?"

Answer so that your word is the last and then the rudeness will stop.

Pay no attention to the boor. Imagine a scenario in your head: "You are a leaf by the road ... Everything passes by and nothing hurts you" .