Self-confidence is a quality without which one cannot become successful person. Of course, the basic qualities of character are laid down in childhood, but the main role in their development belongs to parents. Use the basic rules to help your child grow up as a confident person who can stand up for himself.
1. Do not interfere with the child's undertakings and always respect his desire to learn new things. Encourage any initiative, inspire confidence in own forces. If your toddler is learning a skill, be always ready to help, but don't say you know how to do it right. Just be there, tell me if you need it.
Observe the child's behavior, his aspirations and desires. Do not try to limit him in games, do not insist on what exactly you think is more useful for him. Give the child the opportunity to determine for himself what he wants to do (for example, music, sports or drawing).
2. Sincerely rejoice at any, even in your opinion, insignificant achievement of the baby. After all, for a child, in any case, this is a big breakthrough.
3. Talk with your baby on various topics: about good and evil, about friendship, about mutual assistance, about attitudes towards adults, about what adult life is and how it differs from childhood. Pay attention to sex education. Try to build your explanations in an accessible, understandable language for the child, do not prevaricate, be always frank. Children are very sensitive to falsehood.
4. Carefully listen to his opinion on each issue, respect him. If the child is mistaken, gently, without ridicule and reproaches, try to convince him. All this should take place in an atmosphere of goodwill.
5. Engage in the development of your child. Find time to read and discuss an interesting book together, watch a good cartoon or a fairy tale.
6. Never compare your baby with other children in their presence, do not become an intermediary in relations between children, let them learn to communicate with each other themselves. You can only slightly correct their relationship in case of any problems.
7. Pay attention to your intra-family relationship with your husband. Keep in mind that children are very acutely experiencing all the problems in communicating with their parents. Therefore, try to show respect for each other, then the child will feel confident.
8. Consider the individual characteristics of your child. If by nature he is not endowed with a very sociable character, do not scold him for this, but help him deal with this problem by conducting classes that remove communication barriers.
9. Do not isolate the child from other children, do not keep him under a "glass jar", protecting him from all possible and impossible problems. The child must attend Kindergarten, various clubs and activities.
10. Treat him like a person, in which case he will be quite confident. And remember that happiness is too broad a concept to write its recipe on one sheet of paper. The main thing is to love your child, respect his rights, take care of him.
A good disposition is the most valuable thing a person can possess. This is his happiness in both worlds, protection from the evil of people and the pleasure of Allah. The character of a person is his true face, for which he is responsible and accountable for every quality of his character.
We are influenced by those around us, our loved ones, friends, colleagues ... But the biggest impact we have on ourselves is through the way we understand, educate and criticize ourselves. This means that we must be aware of our mistakes and weaknesses as well as our strengths.
How to cultivate character and become the owner of a good disposition?
- Striving for the Good removes from obscenity and forbidden. A person who is aware of his position, who believes in his standing before Allah, the Day of Judgment, receiving what he has found in this world, cannot bring trouble on himself and fall into sins. Allah said:
“And those who fight for Us, We will certainly lead in Our ways. Indeed, Allah is with those who do good!” (29:69) That is why a good disposition is part of Allah's guidance.
- Self control. This means analyzing what has been done, thinking before doing something, and studying one's behavior. It is impossible to keep something in order without looking after it, and the same goes for the behavior that hones our character. The concept of "control" in the best way describes a believer who disciplines his actions and words.
- Striving for the best. Islam and the path of faith means the daily path and daily striving and improvement. This applies to our faith, character, behavior. In every situation, we must find ways to express ourselves with better side and gain the pleasure of Allah.
- Man is imperfect, he tends to err but the pursuit of a good disposition must not end if we stumble. Having made a mistake, you must immediately “wash it away” with something good, find an opportunity to make good deed. This is the only way to improve your character.
1. Creation of conditions for the formation, disclosure and development of "I - potential", the ability to adequately and fully know oneself and other people.
2. Assessment of the degree of their tolerance.
Tasks:
- Formation of attitudes of tolerant consciousness of children.
- Development of attention, memory, creative thinking of children.
- Fostering a sense of collectivism, cohesion, respectful attitude
between children.
Form of conduct: game training
Training structure:
- warm-up (exercises that set up children for game interaction);
- main content (exercises, games, assignments, discussions);
- reflection
Introduction (leader's words)
A modern cultured person is not only educated person but also a person who has a sense of self-respect and is respected by others. Therefore, we must be able to build relationships in the process of interaction with others on the basis of cooperation and mutual understanding, readiness to accept other people, their views, customs and habits as they are.
Warm up
1. Exercise "Acquaintance"
The group is divided into three teams (6-7 people). To divide the class into groups, you can offer the guys circles, squares, rhombuses. Then merge. Task: who will line up faster according to the following parameters:
A) by eye color (from lightest to darkest) B) by hair length (from longest to shortest) C) by patronymic alphabet D) by foot size E) by the number of consonants in the name E) by height E) by date of birth;
The winner is called at each construction, which is supported by applause.
Questions for discussion of the exercise:
- What helped you build faster?
- Would there be a game if everyone was the same in eye color, height, etc.?
The conclusion that the guys come to: We are all different, but we have fun and interesting together.
2. Exercise "Search for similarities"
Each team must write on a piece of paper divided in half the similarities and differences in their group.
The psychological meaning of the exercise. The exercise works effectively for group cohesion, as participants begin to look more closely at each other and find that there are much more similarities between them than they previously thought. Discussion. Try to lead the participants to the idea that although they are all so different, there are much more similarities between them than it might seem at first glance.
3. "Electric circuit".
The group is divided into pairs. Partners sit opposite each other, where they connect their hands and feet, thus forming an electrical circuit through which current flows through the clasped hands and feet. The task of the participants is to stand up without breaking the electrical circuit. Now combine two pairs with each other to make an electrical circuit consisting of four people. The task remains the same - to stand together without breaking the chain. When this stage is successfully completed, combine the groups again to form an electrical circuit consisting of 8 people. In the end, you will get an electrical circuit formed by all the participants that must rise.
The two main conditions for this exercise are:
1) electricity must freely
flow through a closed electrical circuit formed by clasped hands and feet;
2) at each stage, the participants must take off from the ground at the same time. Can
support children if they are having a hard time!
Discussion Questions: When was it most difficult for you to stand up? (In pairs? In fours? In eights? All together?)
Conclusion: Here you and I, overcoming difficulties, have closed the electrical circuit, thereby proving that we can combine together different people very difficult, but still possible.
II. Main part
Very often we notice only our own qualities, and consider ourselves good. Yes, no one will deny this, but we will try to find good qualities and others.
Exercise "I am good, you are good"
Children stand or sit in a circle with a ball in their hand. The leader throws the ball up and calls his positive quality, starting with the first letter of the name. Then he throws the ball to another and calls the positive quality of this person, starting with the first letter of his name. Everyone should have the ball. Conclusion: in every person you need to be able to find the positive. There are no absolutely bad people, and the ability to notice the good is an important quality of a tolerant person.
Exercise "Backpack of Success"
In order to succeed in life, you need to be able, first of all, to communicate correctly with people. But it is so hard. Communication with other people requires a person to have different qualities.
I suggest you put together a "backpack of success." To do this, each of you writes down two qualities on a separate piece of paper: the first helps you succeed in communication, and the second hinders you. Then all the leaves are signed and collected in one bright backpack.
And now I will take one piece of paper out of my backpack, read out what was written, and you will try to determine the “owner” of these qualities;
(The work can also take place according to another option: the backpack is opened again after a short period of time, and an analysis of the changes in each child takes place: whether the good qualities remained, whether the child was able to get rid of the bad ones).
Exercise "Islands"
Everyone has their own "island" - a newspaper. Periodically there comes a "day off", and everyone walks throughout the territory. The host "selects" several islands, the inhabitants must look for another island.
In conclusion, there is a discussion: how were you accepted on another island, were you pushed away, were you invited yourself, etc. You should definitely pay attention to those who were not invited to join on another island. Conclusion: Similar situations also occur in life: aren’t we more often ready to provide help, support to those who we like, who we like, and are we not able to “not notice” the problems of those who belong to the “ugly ducklings”, etc.? P.
Exercise "Application" Peacock "
Let's create a general application "Peacock". (The peacock itself is drawn in advance on a separate sheet)
You must cut out the feathers. For this, colored paper is provided, you can use bright chocolate wrappers, etc. Feathers can be of any size and shape. Each feather should symbolize some quality, an ability that each of you appreciates and loves in yourself. This quality is written on the pen. You can cut as many feathers as you like.
Then all the feathers are laid out on a large sheet of paper so that a peacock's tail is obtained, then the peacock itself is glued to the feathers. Each participant can see what qualities are depicted by all participants.
Conclusion: This collective application "Peacock" helps us to feel our value, promotes unity, allows us to assess the qualities of our personality and form the qualities that you need.
Reflection:
Let's try to answer a few questions about that. what happened now. I would like each of you to speak out, but even if this does not happen and someone wants to remain silent, this is not scary. After all, the most important thing is the internal dialogue that each person conducts with himself. And without such conversations, as well as without patience, participation in someone else's pain, openness, kindness, trust, the ability to accept someone else's point of view, you will not bring up a person in yourself. But I'm sure you will succeed. So let's answer a few questions
- Was it easy to penetrate your inner world? To another person's world?
- How did your attitude towards your “I” change during the training?
- What have you learned about yourself?
As a memento of the training, the children are given bookmarks made by the participants of the action "Friendship is me + you"
The previous two articles on strong people and what is meant by strength can be found here:
So let's start with the basics:
1. Strong person = responsible person.
A person who makes a choice and bears a feasible, adequate responsibility for it.
(For example, you and any other person cannot be responsible for healthy capable people. Even if it is:
a) your loved ones
b) your children
c) your subordinates/boss
d) dependent person.
2. According to the theory of Marxism-Leninism, the terminology of Gestalt therapy, the function “I” (Self) is represented by three components:
- “childish”, “animal”, “impulsive” Id,
The function responsible for choice and self-esteem (what am I?) - Ego,
- “parental”, “controlling”, “evaluating”, “moral” function of Personality.
Not taking into account any of them, cultivating a strong personality in yourself is like building a castle without a foundation. That is, it is dangerous - it can sprinkle on the heads of unfortunate builders. It is possible, for example…
What does it take to develop a strong character, a strong personality?
1. No matter how unpleasant it is to say, but first you have to do “studying the microcircuit”. That is, to find out how things are:
With conditionally " children's” part - do you easily and accurately satisfy your desires, needs?
With conditionally " parental” part – what exactly do you think about yourself? What are you according to your idea? To what extent, in your opinion, does this coincide with the assessments of others?
2. After that, you will have to “ring out” another “chain” - namely, the function of choice, the function of the Ego.
Very often one of two things happens here:
- She “dies” under the unbearable weight of the “upper floor”, flattened and mutilated:
- moral values
- family settings
- ideas about “what an ideal person should be”
- - they say, “I had to achieve this, that, to be this, that, by the age of 20, but it didn’t come true - that means I’m a rag!”
- She "drowns" in children's impulses, desires, needs.
A sudden outburst of feelings, a feeling of “I am being carried, and I can’t help myself”, sudden loves, catastrophic job changes, studies, new and new hobbies, diets and exacerbation of “zhora”, shopping to the last penny may indicate that that instead of a selection function, an uncomplicated children's Id comes.
Where do I want?
Where am I flying?
I am a free crow!
(c) Brownie Kuzya
This does not happen from lack of will or “to the end of insolence”, but only from the fact that from the very beginning the quiet requests of the “inner child”, our needs, are ignored point blank. And only when they do not just ripen, but when the fuses “burn out”, desires break free. Either rebellion or tragedy unfolds. But you can “have time to pick up on the outside” what was forbidden in everyday life.
- Weakness of the ego function.
Sometimes there is such an option when it seems that the authorities and moral attitudes do not prevail, and more or less everything is in order with the satisfaction of needs. And there is no “willpower” and no. Then we can talk about the weakness of the ego function. Just an untrained muscle.
If you didn’t have to exert yourself especially hard to achieve something, if there was always enough “we will live like this”, “enough for our lifetime”, then it really may turn out that there is nothing to choose.
Moreover, when there is no introspection, the periodic return of “what am I?”, “why did I do this?”, “and who am I after that?” - then the function of the ego does not develop - there is no need.
Well, how did you more or less determine your case out of three?
Then let's go to the next, vitally practical tasks.
What to do with yourself to become a strong person?
Exercises for the development of willpower and strength of character in an adult are quite simple. Here is a collection of recommendations, and you can choose what you like best.
1. Taking responsibility - carry to the end.
Make an action plan based on your desires, and implement it for at least 3 weeks. Don't take on too much - take at least 1-2 daily activities.
Keep the promises you make to your friends, even casually. If you are “poor, but agreed” - do it to remember this feeling. It is YOUR forces, YOUR time has gone to satisfy their desires and needs. So you can value yourself more - and through this - and manage the "willpower".
2. Slow down.
The ego function is a tricky thing. It takes time (fortunately, with training - a little), so that a person can make a more or less conscious choice. This means that you will need to learn how to slow down.
Wash your hair slowly.
Feel free to go to the toilet.
Take the project with attention, write it down point by point, mark each of them.
Try to concentrate in everyday activities on bodily sensations (tactile, sound, visual, taste, smells).
Try at least 15 minutes a day, walking, to notice where you put your foot.
Distract from the current activity three times a day and track exactly HOW you breathe.
3. Take a break.
There is such a moment: between desire (impulse) and action (realization) there is always gap by time. It is he who works 100% for training the ego function and cultivating willpower in an adult. You can only bring up a strong personality by adding and multiplying -
- their actions,
- their responsibility for them
- your decisions.
Take a break. Before you start doing something, determine why you are doing it. When you're done, describe how you were in that situation. What experience have you gained.
It will be enough “I was a passenger” if you were traveling by public transport.
“I wrote down the phone number of English courses and plan to clarify the conditions” - if they were, studied and recorded.
How many different 'I's can find themselves in the same situation!
4. Ego as self-esteem.
Inference is the best thing the ego function can do for you. You will be able to use your own experience, instead of - that is, it is not clear who is in the situation, who acted, why they acted.
After learning to pause (and discovering your motives), you will be able to add up your “good deeds”, your actions, your achievements, even the smallest ones, so that later you can rely on them in the future.
A little parable that will warm you along the way
There is a parable about the request of a sage for a modest reward.
“O great shah! - he said to the ruler, who wanted to honor him with special honor. - Put one grain on the first cell. On the second cell chessboard- two. Then four. And so double on each of them.”
The Shah laughed, "But why are you asking so little?"
When the Shah's court sages counted the reward, it turned out that the grains needed to be counted 18,446,744,073,709,551,615. In size, this is almost the size of a barn 10 by 10 by 15 meters.
So is your ego function- collecting for you bit by bit the achievements of each day, successes, good decisions, making a choice - yes or no, refuse a request or agree, go right or left - will develop in the same progression.
So, there is a chance to raise a strong person in yourself at any age!
Question from our reader Boris: More than once I heard about myself the opinion of other people who said that I was weak-willed. Tell me how to develop a strong character? Now I understand that when I was growing up, there was no example of a person with a strong character next to me, from whom one could learn. Is it possible to develop a strong character as an adult?
I'll answer your question right away, Boris. Yes, a strong character can be formed at any age., there would be a desire and understanding of how to do it. And now about everything in order.
Indeed, it is the character of a person that largely determines what his fate will be. In essence, character is a manifestation inner man, an imprint on the road of life of all his beliefs, principles, personal qualities, habits and external manifestations, everything that he managed to know and form during his life.
What is a Strong Character?
Strong character - this is the ability to steadily follow the chosen beliefs, life principles and goals, ideally, the laws of honor. Dumb thoughtless stubbornness has nothing to do with strength of character, but is just a manifestation of a person, his inflated ego and lack of awareness.
Strength of Character- is determined by the strength of a person's convictions and principles, strength of mind and willpower.
- The Power of Beliefs and Principles- this is a certain built-up attitude towards oneself, one's destiny and to the world around. For the Samurai, for example, this is the code of Bushido. For a Russian officer - the code of a Russian officer.
- Strength of mind- this, Valor and others strengths defining the triumph of the spirit (spiritual) over the body (over the material).
- - the ability to patiently overcome internal resistance (laziness, weakness, desire or unwillingness) and external obstacles in achieving the goal.
More detailed about who a Strong Man is.
Respectively, Weakness- this is the absence of clear life principles, strong convictions and lack of will. Which often suggests cowardice, cowardice, dependence, the presence of other vices and weaknesses. Each weak-willed person has his own set of such weaknesses.
Weakness of character is often a consequence of spinelessness. About what spinelessness is.
How to develop a strong character?
A strong character is brought up either from childhood, as, for example, knights were brought up, from the age of seven. Or life itself hardens the character of a person, leading him through a series of difficulties, obstacles and trials. Either a strong character is formed in oneself by the person himself, working on himself daily, purposefully creating the necessary conditions for this.
But first, let's answer the question - how is it not possible to develop a strong character in yourself? It is not possible to develop a strong character:
- without leaving your usual comfort zone
- without overcoming their own internal weaknesses (laziness, fears, etc.), but indulging all their whims, desires and vices
- only in thoughts and dreams, one cannot educate the strength of character without going through real tests in real life
- without rhythmic training, without the formation of one's will and discipline. Character is trained only by regularity of effort
- without self-respect and inner dignity. On pride and arrogance or in the role of insignificance, true character will not grow
- without struggle in life and overcoming some external barriers. When everything goes smoothly and everything goes into your own hands, a strong character is not particularly needed.
- no significant motivation. A truly strong character develops only when there is a worthy meaningful goal.
- on self-violence. Distinguish between violence and discipline
So, what you need to do to develop a strong character:
1. A strong character is formed by working on one's convictions, cultivating the strength of the Spirit and willpower. For more information and instructions on how to do this, read the relevant articles:
2. Character is brought up not on paper and not in the mind, but in real life. Therefore, first of all, decide on your life goals, the achievement of which will require you to have a strong character and powerful personal qualities.
3. Be sure to define for yourself an occupation that will require you to constantly overcome your weaknesses. For example, take up martial arts or some other sport.
4. One of the foundations of a strong character is a powerful invulnerable one: self-confidence and self-esteem. Instructions here:
5. Live examples and images always help. Find an example for yourself - a historical figure or a movie character that you would like to be like in character. Visualize your goal. To feel the necessary image as much as possible - soak up the impressions - watch relevant films about strong and worthy people (about knights and warriors), read books with suitable heroes.
6. A strong character is also the ability to control oneself, tame one's passions, control one's desires and emotions. Read more:
