You can read a million books and blog posts on self-improvement, visit a lot of trainings and webinars about how to talk to people the right way, how to focus on their needs, what people like and what not.

But the real secret is how to talk to people boils down to one thing:

Interested, not interested!

It happens that you seem to know how to communicate correctly, which words should be pronounced and which should not, but no, you can still get into something. Either he said the wrong thing, or he didn’t say it right, or he didn’t pay attention to something. Or just in a conversation you see only yourself, not paying attention to the interlocutor.

be able to listen and asking sincere questions, this is for most, quite difficult. Especially for those who "specially study this." Why? Yes, because he often "thinks" how right to tell rather than feeling what right to tell.

All people in the world love to talk about their favorite topic, the most interesting topic- About Me.
When you support human, actively his listening, the interlocutor likes it and, accordingly, he likes you too!

Whether you understand it or not, our conversation with a person begins even before we have even said a word.

Many people don't even think about it. For example, when we see a person, we begin to evaluate him, we begin to think something about him, analyze what he is wearing, face, eye expression, behavior, etc. This is communication, non-verbal. And, the interlocutor, as a rule, has already read information from you, and may already react to this.

When we communicate, the main criterion for communicating with a person is the comfort or discomfort of the parties to communication. And this is very important! Since very often in communication people "pull the blanket over themselves."

Before starting communication, many of us have a lot of different thoughts flashing through our heads, we plague ourselves with assumptions, such as how he will react to us or not, how he will see what he thinks, etc. And, of course, we want to be reacted to in a certain way. In short, for many of us, the “I think you think I think” game begins!

In the grand scheme of things, what do we care what people think of us? Even if they don't like you even before you meet.

In fact, it doesn't really matter what a stranger thinks of you. It's none of your business. These are his thoughts.

The only important thing is that you like yourself, feel confident and know your worth.

In fact, no one thinks about anything! A person may have such a mood or facial expression because something is wrong with him.

Your task is to smile at the person. Even if he expresses displeasure on his face!. And, remember, a smile is The best way meet the person you like.

If the person does not interest you, keep the smile short and fleeting. You will still let the person know that you paid attention to him.

If you like a person, then by smiling at him, you can get a return smile in response and the opportunity to get to know each other and start a conversation.

If you have not behaved like this before, then it will not be easy at first, but then it will become a habit. Even if you don't feel like smiling, smile. Nine times out of ten, you will smile back.

Even if they didn’t smile back at you, didn’t want to communicate with you, nothing terrible happened!

In fact, we cannot please everyone, just as we cannot please everyone.

In fact, it just might be ours defensive conviction. If a person wants to believe in it, then you need to hide in a mink and not come out of there.
Some people just go numb after saying hello. They begin to think intensively about how to appear interesting, intelligent conversationalist, i.e. the main task of such people is make an impression rather than making contact.

Others begin to act "tough" and begin to act haughty towards other people, as if to say "I'm a good catch, but difficult."

This is how teenagers or very young people behave. But sometimes people of a more mature age do it. As a rule, such people lose.
Since you can lose the opportunity to improve not only your personal, but also your professional life.
And another category of people who communicate constructively and healthy.

To be constructive in communication, you need to remember a few rules:

1. If you are not sure that your joke will be liked, it is better not to joke.

2. No need to make sarcastic remarks or snarky attacks to show how witty you are. There is nothing intelligent about your obnoxious behavior.

3. Only compliment when you sincerely want to. You don't have to do it just to please. The insincerity is immediately visible.

4. No need to use standard, prepared templates to establish communication. They are overwritten, and the interlocutor may get the impression that you are stereotyped, which means insincerity.

5. Don't suck up, compliment sincerely.

6. Talk about news, events. If a person came to get acquainted with the possibilities of your business, then take an interest in the person, his interests, dreams, needs (more on this in another post).

7. If you have mutual acquaintances, speak positively about them.

8. Ask questions, but don't force them. That is, you need to think about what to say so as not to get into an unpleasant situation. Try to find common interests by continuing to ask questions and interact with the person.

9. Know how to ask clarifying questions.

The technique of clarifying questions is that you ask questions about who, what, where, when and why.
You need to ask about something, and then ask clarifying questions related to the same topic.

This simple technique can find out what common interests you and your interlocutor have.

If the interlocutor answers you reluctantly or is limited to laconic unambiguous answers, then perhaps the interlocutor does not want to talk.
Then you switch to another topic or move away.

It must be remembered that the interlocutor needs to look into the eyes as often as possible, then we can quickly and better understand what the person wants, and you can always catch his mood and state.

Of course, it is very important to pay attention to the body and facial expressions of the interlocutor.

The more in common we have with the interlocutor, the more likely it is that we will establish a relationship.

Therefore, the refinement technique is simply necessary for us in order to find our potential friends or clients and partners.

Key tips for keeping the conversation going:

Be interested, don't try to be interested.

Watch your gestures and facial expressions, do not occupy the personal space of your interlocutor.

Develop various themes gleaned from the media

Show your sense of humor, but don't sneer or be sarcastic.

Be energetic, but in moderation so that the person does not think that you are impudent (ka).

It must be remembered that if we raise a topic in a conversation, we must clearly know what we are talking about. If we don’t know something or about something, it’s better to keep quiet.

If we don’t understand something, we shouldn’t be afraid to admit it, and we definitely need to ask questions. Very often people will be happy to tell or explain something that others do not know.

If the interlocutor behaves impatiently with us, and believes that we are talking nonsense, we need to let him know that we do not intend to tolerate this.
Their intolerance speaks of their venomous nature.

Therefore, beware of such interlocutors. Their actions show that these are exactly the people from whom it is better to stay away (We will talk about communication in business separately, here there are some nuances).

If, while communicating with a person, you heard a word that you do not understand, ask him: “what did you mean by saying ....?”.
And you can learn a new word and its meaning.
Often different people can invest different concept into the same word.

You may not like the interlocutor and the interlocutor may not like you.
But in any case, you need to leave so that you and him are comfortable.

If you break up with the interlocutor, do not tell him: "I will call" if you are not going to do this.
Or “very glad (a) was our acquaintance, I still need to talk with some people”, say goodbye kindly, leaving a good impression of myself.

So to talk well with people, then:

Approach with a smile e to the person with whom you want to chat.

Don't be scared if someone isn't interested in you. After all, there are many people who do not interest you.

Be sincere, do not make any kind of remarks, posing as “smart”, as this can immediately spoil the mood of the interlocutor.

There is always something to talk about. Just ask questions and ask in more detail about what you heard. Be interested. Don't worry about getting interested.

When you decide you've had enough, walk away with dignity. Above all else, be honest! If you say you'll call back, then do it!

Keep your promises!

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Speak clearly and calmly. When speaking, your voice should sound clear and balanced. Start by working on the tone and volume of your voice - it should be as even as possible. If you are prone to shouting or whispering, you can pass for a less intelligent person. To make your speech clearer, be careful not to speak too fast. Also pay attention not to mumble. Pronunciation of words clearly will also help you sound much more intelligent.

Clear pronunciation means that you will speak words clearly so that sounds are not swallowed or dropped out. For example, be careful when pronouncing the words “trinkets (not “trinkets”), “blessing (not “blessing”), “bulletin (not bulletin”), and so on.
As an exercise for speech, you can use tongue twisters - this way you will pronounce words fluently and clearly. Practice saying: “Greek was driving across the river. He sees the Greek in the river cancer. He put the hand of the Greek into the river. Cancer for the hand of the Greek - tsap.”

Use correct grammar. When speaking, pay special attention to grammar. Do not worry about colloquial expressions and common phrases, but make sure that your speech is, for the most part, correct. If you're wrong about grammar, it tells people (even if you don't) that you don't understand your own. colloquial. That's not how you become smart.

If you're not very good at proper grammar, listen to smart people talk and read a lot of quality books. A little effort - and in time you will learn everything.
An example of a grammatical error would be "I put on a new suit" instead of "I put on a new suit". Another example - there is no word "lay down", with such a root it is used only with prefixes - "put", "shift", lay out. Do not insert extra letters into the words: correctly "I will" - "future", "follow" - "next".

Use and pronounce words correctly. There are few things that will make you look stupid more than the wrong use and pronunciation of words. This usually happens with more complex words, especially if you want to pretend to be smart and use very buzzwords that you don't understand yet. Give preference to those phrases that you actually know.

Common mispronunciations of words include: "incident" instead of "incident", "compromise" instead of "compromise".
Example misuse words: "debtor" instead of "debtor".
If you want to use a word but aren't 100% sure you know its meaning or that you can pronounce it correctly, write it down and check it in a dictionary later.

Part 2

Choose what to say

Look for more information. When you're in a conversation or in a meeting and want to sound smart, ask questions. Seems paradoxical, doesn't it? However, when you ask the right questions in the right manner, it actually shows that you are thinking about the situation and that you are thinking smart. Think of questions that will show what you're after long term goals or think about the reasons behind the actions. Come up with questions that demonstrate what you are trying to understand more deeply complex systems. There are these types of questions that will help you appear intelligent.
- Some examples are: “Are we able to do this more effectively?”, “What do you think is the root cause of the conflict?” and “What does this failure teach us and what can we learn from it next time?”
When you speak, ask for details. When talking about a topic, use details. How did something happen? When? Who did it? What for? This will show that you understand the situation on a more than superficial level.
- For example, don't say, "The meeting didn't go well." Instead, say, "The meeting wasn't productive. We posted what we had, but they didn't want to interact. I suspect they don't take our proposal seriously. Let's see what we can do to further explain our position. "
State your arguments. When you tell someone your opinion, don't just announce the conclusion you've reached. Show them how you came to this understanding. Smart people have reasons to think what they think, and they usually talk about it. If there is not enough logic behind your opinion to talk about it, this is also food for thought for you; that is, you need to go back and think about the situation some more.
- For example, don't say, "I don't like Guardians of the Galaxy." Instead, say something like, "I felt like Guardians of the Galaxy tried too hard to be funny. The jokes were overly frequent, so the overall pacing of the film seemed a little odd. It was more like watching comedians than an action movie."
Find solutions to problems. Smart people love to solve problems. Problems are puzzles, and their brain is usually looking for an incentive to work. If you notice something in life - yours or someone else's - that is causing problems, stop and try to find a solution instead of ignoring the problem. This is how you show people that you are a thinking person.
- For example, if someone says, "I don't like my job," don't just commiserate. Say something like, "What don't you like about her?" What is the most significant thing you would change? How can you change it? What should happen?
Just formulate concepts. Everyone can learn a bunch compound words and then rant in sentences that he himself does not understand. Technical terms are good to hide the fact that the person himself does not really understand what he is talking about. For real clever man, someone who really understands the situation can talk about it so simply that the child will understand. Don't hide behind difficult language: explain everything as simply as possible if you want to show your true understanding of the situation.
- Here is a bad example of how the Internet works (from Wikipedia): "The Internet is a worldwide system of interconnected computer networks built on top of the TCP/IP protocol stack to connect several billion devices around the world.
- A good example of explaining how the Internet works: "The information you see on your computer is sent in little packets, like a letter. It is also accompanied by an explanation of where it is going, where it came from, and how the pieces of information need to be put back together. This the information is then sent through a series of stations, just as regular letters are sent, until it reaches its destination."

Part 3

self-education

Enrich your vocabulary. We're not saying you have to use words like "prevail"; the saturation of speech with complex and unusual words only says that you are trying to let yourself down important view. Instead, speak like we do in this article. Build your vocabulary in such a way that you use a common, but at the same time, intellectually developed language. These are the words you'll see more often in college than in high school. The existence of such vocabulary(and the correct use of individual words) will make you appear more educated and intelligent.
- Words that can't hurt to learn: aggravate, anathema, whimsical, efficient, idiosyncratic, and artsy.
- Reading will help expand your vocabulary. Read books of higher and higher reading level. Write down unfamiliar words and then look up their meaning in the dictionary. Memorize them in the process, so your vocabulary will become richer before you even notice it.
Explore your areas of interest. You will meet very few people who know everything there is to know about every topic. If you meet someone who seems very smart and educated to you, it's usually because he or she knows a lot about one particular area. You can do it too! Everyone likes something. It will be easier for you to become an expert in what really fascinates you. Thoroughly research a topic that you are passionate about, and you will see that when you talk about your passion, you seem like a genius.
- For example, let's say you're very into video games. You can start exploring what makes this game so fun. Did you know that it takes a lot of theory and planning to end up with a good battle or story? This can be learned by reading game developer blogs, or in several online communities, or by watching online Youtube shows like Extra Credits' Design Club.
Follow the latest events. Intellectually developed people pay attention to what is happening in the world. Of course, they are mainly concerned with the latest in their particular area of interest, but they definitely pay attention to a lot. Of course, they do not just listen to reports that they already know about this subject. Smart people try to find different points of view in order to understand the problem comprehensively. If you follow the latest events, you can discuss them in conversation, which will help you appear smarter and more well-read.
- It is easy to follow the latest events by reading the newspapers. If you don't buy newspapers, there are plenty of online sources that are just as good. On the website of news services, you can often find up-to-date information at the most affordable price - free of charge. Wikipedia also provides an overview of current events.
Don't forget about writing skills. The impression of an intelligent and intelligent person is created not only in oral conversation. You also need to pay attention to how you write. If you write from such images, you will not make a very good impression on those who read what you write. Even if you are very smart and the meaning of your text speaks of your remarkable intelligence, people will still think that you are stupid. Write complete sentences, following the rules of grammar and spelling as much as possible.
- An example of a bad paragraph: "Money is important, of course, BUT if you're chasing bucks hoping that they sort of solve everything and everything.. you'll just be running after them for the rest of your life LOL.. what's important then?"
- An example of the same thought, but edited to be more intellectual: "Money is obviously important. However, if you spend your whole life chasing it, thinking that it will solve all your problems, in the end you will just waste your life.Which is more important - living your life or owning money?
- You can use online text editors like Google Docs and Hemingway to make your writing as professional and intelligent as possible. Both programs are free.

Part 4

Skill in conversation

Don't be afraid to be silent. You may think that silence makes you a fool, but that is far from the truth. Don't feel like you have to give facts every five minutes or keep up the conversation all the time to look smart. Words spoken simply for the sake of saying something usually lead to what is said being wrong or even ridiculous. Instead, if you are completely clueless about the subject or topic of the conversation, or you have nothing of substance to add, just keep quiet.
- Your silence shows that you are thinking about the situation, and thinking about the situation is a clear sign of intelligence. Without saying anything, you actually seem smarter.
Avoid false signs of intelligence. Sometimes we associate certain things with the mind, but really smart people will understand what you're trying to do if you're faking it. They will also see that these signs of intelligence are actually not so in your case. Focus on just being yourself instead of playing in front of the crowd to look smarter.
- The best example here is accents. You may think that copying a pompous St. Petersburg accent will make you seem smarter, but accents are hard to fake. You will be caught doing this and more likely to come off as just a fool rather than an intellectual.
Have a real conversation. Have you ever sat down and listened to a really stupid conversation? Think about how that conversation went. Most of the time, you'll notice one thing in common: the conversation didn't go anywhere. People often talk and argue with each other just to say something. This is normal (everyone wants to be heard), but if you don't really get to the point, then most likely you will have a two-way monologue, not a conversation. The conversation should be tantamount to an exchange that goes its own way to a specific destination, not just talking about nothing with someone who is also talking about nothing.
Be confident. Finally, be confident when you speak. If you're good at exuding confidence, people are more likely to believe almost anything you say (even if it's not true). You can give the impression of an intellectually developed person, if nothing else suits you, by simply speaking everything confidently and in a positive way.
- How to achieve this confidence in a conversation? Speak when you have formed an opinion or have something to add, look people in the eye, speak firmly and clearly, and speak in a normal rhythm.
- When people are nervous, they speak in a higher voice, faster and quieter. Avoid this and you will be able to speak more confidently.
- What else gives you away is when your statement sounds like a question. It's better to say "I'm sure" than "I'm sure", right? You can do it!

Work on your body language. Charismatic facial expressions and gestures are most important criteria for credibility. Work on a pleasant facial expression, good posture, and a serious tone. Always speak calmly, even if someone makes you angry or annoying.
- However, know when not participate in a specific dispute. When the truth in such a dispute comes to the surface, all those who supported it are proven wrong. For example, if someone says: "I spoke you that the Coriolis force does not work in toilets," and you never claimed to agree with this hypothesis, just ask: "Did I support such an idea?" Your tone should not resemble defense, but rather show surprise, what about you thought so.
When communicating over the Internet, open a program like Microsoft Word to check your spelling. Or, if you're still in doubt about the correct spelling, type the word into a search engine like Google. You can also search Google for definitions of words.
Sarcasm is a sign of intelligence if used correctly.
Ask questions about what others are saying. People love it when others are interested in what they have to say and will appreciate your interest. Although not every question will fit. If the person is saying something, ask what is meant, what are the consequences of it, what alternative views there are things like that. The ability to ask the right questions is one of the main characteristics of an intelligent person. So practice asking questions and notice when others are encouraged by what you ask. If this happens, you have asked the right question - remember this type of question and make it an instrument of your conversational skills.
AT free time read dictionaries and thesauri. Intellectuals are usually interested in such areas, and expanding your vocabulary will help you join their number.
- Read literary thesauri.
Read everything you can find, think hard and be careful at school. Then you will become an intellectual, and not only will you appear to be one. Be responsible and write notes at school. Ask your teachers smart questions that reveal doubts about something. This will give them an impression of you as an intellectual.
Think twice before you speak, because there is a chance that you may say something out of place or something stupid.
Try to be involved in your community as much as possible. Not only will you help others, but the more you get to know and the more people think of you as a smart person, the faster your self-confidence will grow.
Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut (when you're tired, drunk, frustrated, etc.). When you are in one of these states, what you say can be laughed at, or even used against you for months or years.
If you are not very good at idioms and phraseological units (hit the jackpot, be born in a shirt), then either learn them or try not to use them.
Teachers or adults might be impressed if you understand politics. Try watching the news, and if you find it too boring, focus on political shows.

Warnings

Try not to sound frilly and pompous, that's a bad quality - if that's actually "quality" - in any way.
Don't overuse long words. You can be confusing and irritating to those around you if they are not used to you speaking in this manner. They may even think that you have an idea about yourself who knows what.
Don't use multiple question marks or exclamation marks in a row.
Choose your tone very carefully. Rejection is often a by-product of being considered an intellectual. Be an intellectual of a sympathetic, altruistic type.
Never do not use Internet terms or acronyms if you are not on the Internet! For example, "OMG", "LOL", "IMHO" and so on. When you are in real life talk to a person, it's not so hard to pronounce these additional syllables. (Not to mention that you you can, believe it or not, laugh.)

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Gregory 06 SOCHBTS 2006 ZPDB
64
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=================================================================
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Human life is impossible without communication. However, not all people know how to use speech correctly and fully. Sometimes not only direct contact is very difficult, but also conversations on the phone or Skype cause significant discomfort. The reasons may be psychological problems or simply the inability to express one's thoughts or keep up a conversation. If the first is difficult to fix, and sometimes impossible without the help of an experienced psychologist, then many books have been written on how to learn to speak competently, various trainings and special exercises have been invented.

How to learn to speak competently and beautifully?

In order to independently learn how to express your thoughts in Russian beautifully and smoothly, you need to train hard until correct speech becomes a habit. The incentive for this should be the conviction that speech is powerful weapon speaker. Sometimes it can become a means of manipulation, influence on the interlocutor.

Read and retell

The more you read, the easier it is for you to talk. This is an indisputable rule that must be observed if you want to gain the ability to easily talk on any topic. The minimum time that you need to allocate for reading is 20 minutes a day. At the same time, the emphasis should be on Russian classical literature. Of course, speech turns of two centuries ago will not be useful, but sometimes it is quite appropriate to show off some quotes from the classics. In addition, this is a great opportunity to diversify and enrich vocabulary.

Retelling what you read will help you quickly learn how to express your thoughts correctly. Can not be played classical works, and, for example, share with household news from magazines or information gleaned from articles. The key to the success of an enterprise lies in the ability to criticize oneself, notice mistakes and correct them.

Useful word games

If you are thinking about how to learn how to talk to people, then funny and interesting games will help you, the meaning of which is to compose phrases, stories, and word selection. One of these game exercises called "Bred". Your task is to describe or talk about some simple household item for about 10 - 15 minutes. For example, try to quickly build the most coherent story about a chair or a teapot without pauses. It may seem difficult, but it will allow you to develop speech from the content side so that the communication process is easy and relaxed.

Imitation

Imitating TV announcers and presenters is a very important exercise for developing correct speech. At the same time, one should not only try to repeat intonations, but also pay attention to gestures. The perception of a person by a person during communication largely depends not only on words, but also on behavior. Can you imagine a newsreader tapping his fingers on a table or fiddling with a button on his jacket while reading the news? You shouldn't do this either.

At the same time, it is very important to watch programs about politics, art, and even humorous ones. The presence of awkward pauses greatly spoils the impression of a conversation with a person, so you need to learn how to fill them with meaningful interesting messages.

In addition, using the imitation technique, you need to learn:

How to learn to talk to people: to master the basic rules of literate and cultural speech for pleasant, confident and productive communication in all areas of life

How to overcome psychological problems in communication?

Sometimes communication with people can be complicated by psychological problems. In this case, it is early to start training, although this will be useful, but will not lead to the expected quick results.

In childhood, it happens to any person different situations which are imprinted in memory and influence the formation of personality. Some of them can be intimidating. If one of these cases occurred during communication, then this can become a serious problem in the future.

At the same time, introverts should be singled out as a special group, who simply do not need interlocutors and deliberately choose loneliness.

The psychology of communication with people is very complex and depends on many external circumstances and the characters of the interlocutors. However, to see what a person has psychological problem not difficult:

voice trembles;
the tone of the voice changes;
there is a rapid heartbeat;
the conversation is accompanied by fussy hand movements;
the complexion changes (turns pale or reddens).

Do not think that only quiet shy people experience such problems. In fact, when meeting impudent people who communicate assertively, interrupting the interlocutor, it is highly likely that they have certain difficulties in communication. Most likely, this style of conversation helps them overcome problems, but also requires correction.

When you notice that you want to communicate with people, but it is very difficult to do this, you need to stop and realize the problem. Most likely, you will have to work long and hard to overcome shyness, fear, learn to get rid of deep feelings, let go of past problems and live in the present.

A psychologist or psychotherapist can greatly facilitate your path to easy communication, beautiful and competent speech. You will be asked to make contact plans for the day (for example, to meet a new person), to improve the skill of mediated dialogue (on the phone), etc. As a result, you will be able to communicate easily and be an interesting conversationalist.

From day to day modern man faces various problems, of which there are infinitely many, and they are literally waiting for him at every turn, one of which is communication difficulties. This article it will just help to resolve the question: “How to learn to communicate with people”, and believe me, in fact it is not so scary, and the people around us are really better than they seem at first glance.

It is from the formation of the psychology of communication that one can begin the countdown of a civilized human society hence the urgency and importance of this problem. So what's the secret? How to communicate with people in order to be properly understood?

The ability to communicate with people begins with the ability to interact. From day to day, each of us one way or another, falling into different life situations, interacts with the surrounding world and itself succumbs to its influence. All this is explained by the fact that man is by nature a social being. And life in society requires certain skills.

Probably, in everyone’s life there once came a moment when an obsessive thought was spinning in my head: “I don’t know how to communicate with people.” This is just one of the most common human complexes, and to recognize it is to admit to oneself one's own weakness. Can a smart person afford to be weak? Never, because it would mean that he admitted to his own insolvency. But the modern rhythm of life does not allow this. Therefore, this problem needs to be addressed.

The ability to communicate with people is a skill that takes a long time and is difficult to learn. And in order to successfully solve this problem in the present situation, you need to seriously deal with its origins.

The main causes of communication difficulties

Most often, the basis of communication problems are the reasons, the solution of which lies on the surface and is available to each of us. These include the following:

improper building of interpersonal connections and relationships;
inability to find contact and approach to people around;
inability to empathy and mutual understanding;
lack of self-confidence;
self-esteem below the norm;
the presence in the character of innate natural qualities: timidity, shyness, restraint and meekness;
obedience and conciliation not required by the situation;
rejection of one's own appearance;
inability to listen and hear others;
lack of desire to understand other people;
fear of expressing oneself for fear of causing discontent of others.

Learning to communicate with people

Effective communication is a basic skill for any successful person.

As soon as you manage to clearly articulate your thoughts and find an approach to any person, you will not only solve the relationship problem, but also achieve career growth.

Genuinely interested in others

Each person considers himself unique and wants to believe that he is interesting to the people around him. Put yourself in the place of the interlocutor - we are usually more pleased to talk with those who allow us to open up and feel our own significance.

We always refer to the person by name.

Every time we call a person by name, we seem to single him out from the mass of all other people. Sound own name is the simplest and most pleasant compliment. After all, it is thanks to the name that the individuality of the interlocutor is emphasized.

Learning to listen

Unfortunately, now few people know how to listen and really hear their interlocutor - for the most part, conversations now are just an alternate exchange of remarks, without showing sincere interest. It is necessary to try to delve into what the interlocutor thinks about the issue under discussion. Learn to be more loyal and accept the position of another person as something that also has the right to exist.

Are looking for common topics for a conversation

If you manage to touch on a topic that takes your interlocutor to the quick and gives him the opportunity to speak freely, this will already be half of your success. It is thanks to the fact that a person will be able to show himself in best light, you will be able to arrange it to yourself. He will associate you with the situation of his own success and evoke only positive emotions. This phenomenon is studied in more detail in neurolinguistic programming.

We develop memory

We remember the smallest details and details of conversations specifically in order to skillfully use them in the next situation of communication. Communication with a person (and relationships in general) will be the more successful, the more accurately you can restore what was said to them. Anyone likes to think that his words were so significant that they were firmly imprinted in someone's memory. He will be pleasantly surprised and flattered by the interest shown in him.

Paying attention to non-verbal communication

"Communicate" and "talk" are not identical concepts. The ability to communicate correctly includes not only what a person says, but also how he does it. So non-verbal communication in solving this problem is no less important.

Often, a look tells about a person, his mood, confidence or insecurity, no less than the tone of voice. So try to practice eye contact. And if you add to this a sincere smile, the location of those around you is simply guaranteed.

Opening up to loved ones

Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with friends or family, share what lies on your heart, and it will immediately become a little better. The fact that it is too easy and simple is a seeming fact. It is very difficult for most of us now to be sincere, to be ourselves, we get used to putting on this or that mask, depending on the situation and who is nearby. But if you want to count on sincere support and heartfelt advice, then once and for all you will have to get rid of all the faked things and be yourself, no matter how difficult it may seem to you now.

Re-experiencing negative experiences to overcome fear

Very often a person is afraid to make a mistake, to say something wrong, not to live up to someone's expectations, and it is because of this that he decides to limit his social contacts. The whole problem is that once he got into an unpleasant situation due to an incorrect and untimely statement. In order to understand how to learn how to communicate with people, you need to once again plunge into the same situation, experience a similar state of discomfort in order to get rid of the problem for good.

Attending psychological training

Now there are various psychological techniques which, through trainings, will help to reveal the true state of affairs, live this problem of communication difficulties again and let go, so as not to return to such situations never again.

Chat with anyone, anywhere

How to learn to communicate with people if you are afraid to talk to them? In such a situation, you need to force yourself to do this constantly. Start small: for example, ask strangers, where this or that street is located or what time it is. Believe me, it is much easier to talk to strangers, because we have no obligations to them, they do not expect anything from us.

Any experience is valuable in itself. Each small victory is just one rung on the big and wide ladder of your self-improvement. Do not be afraid to communicate and express your opinion - this will make you better for yourself and give people a positive example of inner freedom, which can be followed in any situation!