Text: Rita Popova

Ability to understand and manage your own emotions significantly simplifies life, and most importantly - makes it more enjoyable. We asked Tatyana Strashnenko, curator of the BHSAD Summer Intensive Course on Emotional Intelligence in Creative Business, to tell us how to deal with excessive emotionality at work and at home.

Emotions are the key to understanding yourself
and a better path to goals and meanings

We do not have time to fully experience positive emotions, and the situation is even worse with negative ones - most perceive them as something bad that needs to be got rid of at any cost. But our irritation, anger or fear can be important signals that the subconscious mind sends us. Emotions are the key to understanding yourself and the best path to goals and meanings.

There is famous saying: "Terrible is the wrath of a man who is angry once a year." If emotions are ignored, the energy that is given to us for action (for example, to run or fight when fear arises) accumulates inside and becomes destructive. Almost everyone has experienced a state of emotional storm, when emotions take over so much that we are practically not aware of our actions and words. When the storm subsided, the person comes to his senses and sincerely wonders what it was. However, if his behavior does not change, ignoring his feelings will most likely lead to a new breakdown.

AT last years psychologists are talking more and more about a set of emotional competencies that can and should be developed. Even our rather conservative education gets rid of stereotypes like "boys don't cry" or "girls should always be cute." It takes time and effort to work seriously with emotions and establish new habits, but you can start taking the first steps in developing your emotional intelligence right now.

Recognize and name

How often do you tell yourself that you are angry, discouraged, resentful, anxious, or tender? If you do this regularly, congratulate yourself and put this article aside. If not, start right now. Ask yourself: “How do I feel right now?” - and write down the answer in the language of feelings and emotions. Remembering an event from the past, analyze it from the point of view of not words and deeds, but feelings. Get a special notebook in which at least once a day you will write down the emotional states that you experienced during the day. Gadget lovers can opt for a smartphone app like Mood O Scope or Emotion Diary.

When you realized and named your emotional condition, you have done some very meaningful things. First, acknowledge that you feel it - instead of ignoring the emotions. Secondly, they took responsibility for what is happening (not “he made me angry”, but “I got angry”), which means that the management of this situation is now in your hands. In other words, you have ceased to be an object affected by various emotions, and have become the subject, that is, the master of the situation. Thirdly, you reminded yourself in time that anger or anger is not inherent in your personality - it's just a temporary state that comes and goes, it happens to everyone.

Choose how to manage

Once you've realized how you're feeling, it's important to take control of the situation. If you control an emotion, then you can use this resource for a good cause, and if a strong emotion controls you, the consequences are unpredictable. For example, when we experience anxiety, we want to immediately drop everything and hide somewhere. But if we are aware of the anxiety and manage the situation, we once again double-check our plans and actions, analyze weak spots and possible risks. In a calm state, we might be too lazy to do this, but anxiety gives us a stimulus to action and additional energy.

If you find that you are experiencing an emotion that is considered negative, do not rush to get upset. After the question "What do I feel now?" and an honest answer to it, ask yourself the following question: "How can I use it?" What if my resentment prompts me to prove something to others? Shouldn't I use my angry mood to finally say "no" to a person who has long been using my kindness? Does my fear indicate that I have not fully clarified or thought through the upcoming action?

Reduce emotional intensity

If you realize that you can't cope with your emotions, the most important thing is to relax, reduce the emotional intensity in order to be able to think soberly. You can help yourself with this by fairly simple, but quite effective methods.

DRINK COOL WATER. Remember that stress is a physiological reaction of the body, and water regulates metabolic processes, cools both literally and figuratively. In addition, the procedure can serve as a "switch": drink slowly, in small sips, focusing all your attention on the process.

BREATHE. AT stressful situations our breathing speeds up or stops, as if we stop breathing altogether. Normalizing breathing, we normalize our condition. Take a few deep breaths, if possible, close your eyes and fully focus on your breathing, without being distracted by anything extraneous. If you want, you can connect your imagination: imagine how with each breath you are filled with something pleasant (warmth, sunlight, fresh air) , and with each exhalation, all unpleasant sensations and emotions leave you (for example, in the form of black or gray smoke).

MOVE OR WALK ENERGICALLY. Physical activity perfectly burns negativity. If at the same time you count steps, follow your breath, clap your hands in a certain rhythm, or perform any other activity that requires concentration, your mind will be forced to distract from “chewing” unpleasant thoughts. If it is not possible to move, try to change the position of the body in space - very often mental "sticking" is accompanied by immobility. Sometimes a simple change of perspective literally helps to see the situation in a new way.

DO SELF-MASSAGE. Even if you don't know anything about reflexology and human anatomy, there are a few simple tricks available to anyone in almost any situation. Rub your palms vigorously and massage your fingers. Close your eyes and place your hand on your forehead without lowering your head. Also, bioactive points, the impact on which reduces the level of stress, are located above the upper lip and under the lower lip, strictly in the middle. Massage each or both together for 2-3 minutes.

Analyze and draw conclusions

Once you have become aware of your emotion and have chosen a course of action, be sure to return to the situation and analyze it. What caused the anger? Were there real grounds for anger? Did my interlocutor really want to offend me, or was he just poorly educated and incorrectly informed? After all, did I provoke such a reaction of the interlocutor? What other behaviors are there in this situation? Do I always react in this way in such cases? Such an analysis is especially necessary if you failed to take control of the situation in time and you acted under the influence of emotions.

Unfortunately, people usually do not return their thoughts to a negative experience, but seek to forget it as soon as possible. As a result, instead of invaluable experience and new knowledge about ourselves, we are left with guilt, shame and disappointment. But if you make it a rule to regularly analyze your emotions, after some time you will replace automatic reactions with a conscious choice of a behavior model. After all, there are always a lot of options for behavior - when you are calm and fully aware of what is happening.

There are many techniques that explain in detail how to deal with negative emotions. Some advise to count up to 10, some - to breathe deeply, someone recommends abstracting. All these tips are valid. And they really help, just not for everyone. The effectiveness of the method will depend on the characteristics of the character, the situation itself, the personal qualities of the person.

What causes the accumulation of negative emotions?

If a person keeps everything “in himself”, this affects not only the psycho-emotional sphere of life, but also physical state. This phenomenon is called psychosomatics. Its properties are widely used by psychologists in rehabilitation therapy after serious conditions. Suppression of negative emotions leads to such violations:

• pancreatitis;
• hypertension;
• kidney failure;
• impotence;
• indigestion;
• arthritis;
• obesity;
• alcoholism.

If you do not learn to cope with negative emotions, the level of stress will constantly increase. This leads to a noticeable depletion of energy potential and can cause weight loss, sleep problems, and a decrease in immunity. Therefore, it is important to learn how to manage emotions - they release a huge amount of energy, which, if properly directed, helps to improve morale.

Types of Overcoming Negative Emotions

From all the techniques offered by the Internet and teachings, you can extract the key idea that helps to overcome stress. Religious teachings suggest accepting or ignoring the existing problem as a solution. All people, based on lived experience, develop different strategies for how to cope with negative emotions.
Evasion
A fairly common way to overcome negative emotions is to avoid the problem that causes them. However, such tactics will not be effective if the irritating component continues to act. In this case, evasion leads to the suppression of internal contradictions.
Transfer
Surely, many have heard the phrase about a difficult day or problems in the family as an excuse for the fact that a person broke loose. This is true on the one hand - the presence of an irritating factor increases the level of anxiety, thereby allowing a person to respond faster to other stimuli. On the one hand, this can be considered an excuse. But on the other hand, few people want to be torn off without objective reasons.
Patience
This group is perhaps the most numerous. It includes those people who understand everything, see, endure and suffer from it. Perhaps the suffering of most of this group would be less vivid if they did not tell everyone about it. Thus, people can cause pity, show self-sacrifice (and sometimes self-flagellation).

Methods for dealing with negative emotions

There is a general universal technique that helps to learn how to effectively overcome negative emotions. It consists of several stages.

1. Identification of causes. Determining the prerequisites and "catalysts" of the situation helps not only to quickly recognize them in the future, but also to eliminate the influence of provoking factors (if possible).
2. Speaking out loud. Helps to make "tangible" the cause of negativity. It is best to speak in private - this helps to avoid embarrassment and throw out anger. If there is a specific “culprit” of stress, you can try to express it to him. But in no case should you take it out on relatives, friends and just by chance who happened to be nearby - there is no their fault in the situation.
3. redirect. Negative emotions require a very large amount of energy, which is often spent on destruction and scandals. Redirecting this energy in a positive direction helps to cope with stress. At the same time, many useful things are also done, there is a “switching” of thoughts. This method is very effective for quick recovery after quarrels - the energy that needs to be released is directed in a positive direction and can help you do the very work that you didn’t have enough strength for.

You should not assume that there is a universal technique for dealing with negativity - all people are different and therefore react differently to different situations. life situations. When a stressful situation arises, it is important to understand that rashly you can only aggravate it, and therefore it is better to learn to wait until emotions subside and make the right decision.

In my notes, I shared an article - research data that showing negative emotions “for relaxation” is erroneous and does not lead to inner harmony.

So what do you do with negative emotions?

The most common emotions that destroy us are anger, anger, irritation, fear, resentment, jealousy, shame, guilt, grief.

In this article, I will focus on the first of them, i.e. consider emotions anger, anger and irritation.

These emotions tend to arise when someone acts in a way that we don't like. There are 2 options.

• 1. When someone's actions really violate our boundaries(for example, someone without our permission and consent uses our things or time, or behaves really offensively towards us).
• 2. Dactions do not violate our boundaries, but nevertheless provoke anger in us or irritation(for example, a loved one does with his life what we do not like, or someone is offended in our presence).

In the first option, the emerging energy of anger should not be suppressed. It will be right to use this energy to protect your borders, transforming it into courage. You need to do this without aggression, politely but firmly articulate what you don’t like, and strongly ask the offender not to repeat this again.

The problem arises when, instead of transforming into courage to protect our boundaries, anger is suppressed and goes inward, and we are afraid to tell the “offender” what we don’t like or, on the contrary, show it through aggression towards him and claims.

Let's take a look at both of these cases. from the first option (a real violation of our borders).

1. For some reason we are afraid to defend our borders.
   Perhaps we are afraid of even more aggression and conflict, or we are afraid of losing a relationship, being fired, or some other change in our life. In this case, suppressing anger seems justified, but it is wrong and leads to more problems in the end. It will be useful learn self-love and self-respect, because with the development of these qualities, there is an understanding that you cannot allow others to treat you badly, no matter who they are. It will be a mistake if, instead of learning to love yourself, you try to redirect this repressed aggression somewhere. You will attract people who will “offend” you until you pass the lesson on developing self-esteem and self-love.
2. In a situation where it seems to us that we are being “offended”, we immediately respond with counter aggression starting to blame a person for his shortcomings.
   But such tactics never lead to improved relationships and spiritual harmony. Anger expressed in this way will destroy relationships, and our health, and our destiny.
   The reason for this behavior lies in the fact that there is not enough unconditional love to another person and accepting him as he is, with all his shortcomings. Otherwise, we would calmly, without negativity towards him and aggression, defend our borders.

What to study here?
To love and accept others unconditionally, to understand that each person is free to choose how to live. Remember the rule: "Judge not, lest you be judged" or "Let him who is without sin throw a stone." No one was born to live up to our expectations.

And we have no right to punish a person with aggression for doing something wrong from our point of view. Your goal is simply not to let it destroy you, harm you. To do this, it is not at all necessary to strike back, it will be enough to calmly and with self-respect learn to defend your boundaries and have the courage to change your life if necessary.

Now let's look at the second option - actions do not violate our boundaries, but nevertheless provoke anger in us or irritation. There are 3 main reasons why this happens:

1. There is something in ourselves that we do not want to see and recognize in ourselves, but when we see this quality in others, it irritates us very much. For example, if I cannot afford to rest, if the house is not cleaned, then the person who does this will annoy me. This is how the mechanism of “psychological projection” works. The cure for this is introspection, awareness of the underlying causes of one's emotions, acceptance of oneself with all one's imperfections, development of unconditional love for oneself and others.
2. The way another person lives seems wrong to us, and we consider ourselves entitled to feel (and even express!) to him our dissatisfaction with what decisions he makes, what choices he makes. Often this applies to spouses and grown children. This is based on fear and disbelief in their ability to live their own destiny. Treatment is to get rid of excessive responsibility for the lives of other people, to learn to trust the ability of each person to live the fate in the way he needs, to get rid of fears.
3. There is a reason why expressing anger is justified - if in your presence injustice is being done to other people. And then this anger gives energy to protect them from this injustice. It is only important that at the same time you maintain inner peace, and anger is expressed only on the outer level. Remember the rule - "condemn the sin, but love the sinner."

Such negative emotions as irritation, anger, anger, as a rule, show us our own imperfection and development zone. These are just lessons that come to us through other people. If these lessons are correctly understood and passed through, then these emotions will easily be transformed at the moment of occurrence.

Remember that “no one is your friend, no one is your enemy. Every person is your teacher." You need to learn unconditional love and acceptance of yourself and others. It's not easy, but absolutely real, you just have to set yourself such a goal.

Finally - a beautiful idea from W. Dyer:

if you crush an orange, the only thing you get is orange juice. Not tomato, not plum, just orange.
So is life - no matter how it crushes a person, if love is inside him, then this is the only thing that he will show. What's inside, so outside. :)))

Remember, if something happening around you causes negative emotions in you, then you don’t need to try to suppress them or do something with this world and “imperfect” people. You need to change yourself, develop your soul, and then the reasons for the appearance of these negative emotions will disappear.

Many people complain that they cannot collect their "nerves in a box", restrain themselves in order to maintain balance and not ignite a brewing conflict, get rid of feelings of nervousness and anxiety, or "recover themselves" after an emotional upheaval, stress. There are more than enough circumstances in life that provoke a surge of emotions: exams, job interviews, conclusion of important deals, showdown with superiors or a loved one ... But you never know the things in life that can unbalance us. An unbalanced person can explode and say too much, cry, commit an act that he will later regret - and thereby spoil not only the impression of himself, but also close some opportunities for himself.

There are two ways to overcome emotional crises. The first is to contain emotions, not the best, because by suppressing emotions in ourselves, we risk accumulating a critical mass of negativity inside - and a real emotional explosion will occur. Second, learn to control yourself. and control your emotions. This way is more productive.

Look after yourself

It is important to understand for yourself how an emotional breakdown manifests itself in you. One person breaks down into aggression, the second suddenly begins to cry, the third is speechless. You should carefully study your own reactions and build the situation in such a way as to protect yourself in the eyes of others. Therefore, feeling that emotions are starting to get out of control, make sure that the consequences of an emotional outburst do not affect your career, do not ruin your public speaking, did not make you feel ashamed or embarrassed in front of witnesses to your weakness.

Deal with fatigue

Control over emotions weakens when a person is tired. You should not accumulate fatigue, fight it. Allow yourself to relax, change the environment, treat yourself to something pleasant. Camping, partying with trusted friends, or shopping for pleasant shopping will help switch energy to positive things and reduce the risk of an emotional breakdown with negative consequences. Physical work helps a lot, just do not forget that physical work should bring pleasure. During a break or vacation, work on strengthening the nervous system. To do this, you may have to do meditation, yoga, sports exercises. Walks will not interfere, during which you can, for example, collect pebbles or take photographs. Don't forget that creativity heals. Think of forgotten hobbies, read a book that you have long put aside for reading. Sit by the water, get rid of obsessive thoughts, listen to the birds singing or just watch in the aquarium.

Breathe deep

If you feel that stress is rolling over you, stop, take a comfortable position, relax, take deep and slow breaths, try to get rid of the rush. No need to be afraid to be late - remember that your peace of mind is the key to efficiency in any work. Analyze your own emotions: try to understand what exactly unsettles you, what is the trigger for emotions. You should not skimp on the time if you want to dedicate it to "putting things in order" inside. Clear thoughts are a guarantee that emotions will not overwhelm you unexpectedly. Favorite music will help bring emotions and thoughts into a state of harmony. You should not listen to something new in critical situations. Familiar calm music will work well, it will relieve stress and return emotions to their usual course.

Don't be afraid to see a psychotherapist

If you manage to control your emotions worse and worse, and the suppression of emotions has a depressing effect on your mood, besides, you are confused and cannot calm down on your own, and adrenaline "flashes" inside plunge you into a state of melancholy or fear - you should think about visiting a psychologist, psychotherapist. A professional in his field will help you understand the intricacies of causes and effects, remember forgotten nervous shocks and difficult impressions in order to experience them consciously and part with them. By the way, a reliable friend or girlfriend can play the role of a psychotherapist. You can, of course, rely on these issues and on your loved one, but this is fraught with consequences. close, loving people- impressionable, and if you "load" such a person, relationships can suffer, and feelings of awkwardness and guilt can push you away from the one who involuntarily became a "vest" for you. However, if there is unconditional trust and spiritual intimacy between you and a loved one, then you can even give vent to tears. By crying, you will free your psyche from unnecessary emotions.

“I’ll explode like three hundred tons of TNT,” V. Vysotsky sang in one of his songs, conveying the feelings of an upset graphomaniac. Probably, the vast majority of people in the world are familiar with such sensations, when the accumulated emotions literally overwhelm the whole body, trying to break out. However, in most cultures, the violent manifestation of feelings is by no means welcomed, and people are forced to keep their experiences to themselves so as not to cause condemnation of others.

Instruction

However, it is completely useless to try to hide your feelings in all situations. Strong emotions still require an outlet and sooner or later they will find it, and attempts to suppress their manifestations by willpower will only lead to illness and chronic stress. It is much smarter and more useful for the body to find socially acceptable forms for expressing its experiences.

First of all, as psychologists advise, allow yourself to experience strong emotions, including negative ones. Emotion is just a personal reaction to surrounding events. And if the circumstances or actions of other people make you feel resentment, anger or annoyance, you have a right to such experiences. The question is how to throw out these negative emotions so as not to harm other people and come to peace of mind.

The easiest and most affordable way to quickly reduce emotional intensity is increased physical activity. If you feel like you are literally being torn apart by emotions, want to scream at the top of your voice and destroy furniture, find an opportunity to give immediate exercise to your body. To do this, it is not necessary to immediately run to the gym, if there is no such possibility. Fast walking down the street, intense climbing and descending stairs, even just a series of active squats will play a positive role.

As soon as you feel that the most intense peak of emotions has passed and the body is tired, proceed to breathing exercises. Nervous system of a person is very closely connected with the respiratory and cardiovascular systems. Therefore, a purposeful series of deep, even inhalations and exhalations will help to normalize frustrated nerves. It is most convenient to regulate breathing with the help of a count: inhale for 3-4 counts, exhale for 6-8 counts. After a few full breaths, you will feel that your mind has cleared and your emotions are back under control.

The described method is well suited for a one-time release of emotions that arose as a result of some short-term unpleasant situation. But negative emotions can accumulate for a long time under the influence of chronic stress. For example, tensions in the family, protracted problems at work, conflicts or an urgent deadline. In this case, exercise alone is not enough.

Some women in difficult situations help tears. After crying for a few minutes, they begin to feel much better and calmer, since tears are a natural physiological mechanism that helps to cope with stressful situations and relieve excessive pressure. However, do not forget that tears are not always appropriate. For example, throwing a tantrum in response to criticism and nagging of the boss is not the best The best way maintain your professional reputation. In this case, it is much more useful to try to sort out an unpleasant situation consciously. Talk to the manager about existing problems or with opponents in the conflict. If there is not enough independent effort, it is better to turn to an experienced psychologist who will help you sort out your feelings and suggest the best solution.

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Useful advice

Try to never throw out your negative emotions on loved ones, even if they are their cause. In the end, you will cope with your feelings, but the emotional trauma inflicted on loved ones will remain and it will not be very easy to heal them.

Sources:

• how to vent negativity

Scientists have proven that negative emotions have a bad effect on the body as a whole. So happiness is good for health. What emotions experienced by a person have a bad effect on his health?

First, it is greed. This feeling is known to lead to disorders eating behavior. The desire to appropriate all earthly blessings in a direct way leads to constipation.

The second emotion that harms health is envy. Worrying about someone else's good, the inability to be happy if others feel good is a big stress for the body, which can lead to a heart attack. Other people's victories are best used as a platform for their achievements.

Jealousy not only destroys love, but weakens the production of sex hormones, which increases the risk of a man becoming impotent, and a woman remaining infertile.

Another harmful feeling is this self-pity for a loved one. If you constantly revel in this experience, then the production of the hormone acetylcholine increases in the body, and this can affect the liver. There are other harmful consequences of such an emotion - sugar drops in the human body, digestion is disturbed.

The other extreme is guilt. If a person constantly feels guilty about something or simply blames himself for nothing, then immunity is undermined in his body, hence colds, infections, stomach ulcers and even oncology. You need to forgive yourself for your sins and mistakes. Health is more precious than anything in the world.

And the pancreas and respiratory organs suffer from despondency and melancholy. The lungs are also sick from constant introspection and doubt - these feelings increase the risk of asthma.

In addition to envy, the heart and blood vessels can also suffer from anger, rage, and passivity at a time when everything inside requires a change in the state of affairs. Excessive anxiety, causeless anxiety can develop "nervous" hypertension. Fear also raises the pressure.

60% of all diseases are the result of harmful emotions and experiences. All of them shorten our lives. Forgiveness, kindness, love, joy prevent inflammatory processes, improve blood composition, improve important processes inside: the work of the brain, heart and other organs. Positive thoughts help restore and preserve health.

Many people think that such an emotion as anger badly affects the body. In fact, anger is not as bad as suppressing it.

There was a study that found that couples who constantly suppress their emotions and control their anger are more likely to live less than those who splash out their emotions as they arise.

Many people think that the problem is the manifestation of anger. But it should be noted that there is no problem that sometimes you want to yell at your loved one for not taking away dirty socks around the apartment or forgot to pay utility bills. It has been proven that it is not dangerous that anger manifests itself, but attempts to suppress it until the moment when a person can no longer cope with his emotions.

Many have been taught since childhood not to show their emotions unnecessarily, so as not to cause discomfort to others. But constant suppression of your emotions, overwork at work and stress due to constant workloads can lead to emotional exhaustion and inability to control yourself. Research findings confirm that persistent suppression of anger due to a situation that recurs periodically can lead to high blood pressure and palpitations, even just thinking about the event itself.

Often, anger arises from fear or discomfort in a particular situation. Anger is not the original emotion, it is only a consequence of other emotions. Thus, the body, for safety reasons, translates emotions in order to protect itself.

In order for anger not to take possession of a person, you need to stop. If it occurs conflict situation and anger begins to take over the body, you need to postpone the conversation for a while (at least for 15 minutes). This will help put your thoughts in order and better control the situation. If the reason for the anger is constant (bad work, constant communication with unpleasant people), it is worth giving yourself a few vacation days and thinking about whether a change of job or environment might be the best option.

Our emotional background can change several times a day. It depends on various factors, which include:

Communication;

Thinking process;

Relationships with colleagues and family;

Health status.

Susceptibility to negative emotions depends on the nature of the person. Someone does not perceive the negative, and someone passes it through himself, worsening his well-being. One way or another, all people are exposed to harmful emotions, so that the negative does not accumulate inside, you must follow certain rules.

Focus less on the bad

It's hard not to remember the anecdote about the half-full and half-empty glass. This container was half full, the pessimist said the glass was half empty, and the optimist said it was half full. It all depends on how we perceive the situation.

Take a break from unnecessary information

Starting from the very morning, streams of unnecessary information literally “poured out” on us, which clog our consciousness and lead to overwork. Try to be more silent.

Make time for relaxation

Be sure to take some time for yourself. If the day was difficult and the soul is sad, then you can meditate, pray, sleep or read.

Everyone experiences negative emotions at work. Stress, panic, fear, discontent - unfortunately, all this is very familiar to everyone.

An excess of negativity is a direct path to professional burnout.

Specialist in family, body therapy and psychosomatics gives practical advice how to deal with things that piss us off.

New meanings

As a rule, the sources of negative emotions at work are work conflicts, a tense situation in the company, a mess in work processes, and routine. So that all this does not depress you so much, look at your work from a different angle and find new meanings in it. For example, pay attention to the bonuses you receive (a good team, respect from the manager, etc.). Think about what your job gives you. This may be an opportunity to attend cultural or educational events, go on vacation. Try to notice the positive aspects in your work, they are always there.

Other habits

You need to change the work habits that are hurting you. For example, if you've been working in constant chaos, develop time management skills. If you do not have time to cope with your tasks, discuss your workload with your manager and learn how to say "no" to other people's requests.

Pay attention to switching and relaxing at work. To do this, start to regulate your own load: plan small rest breaks during the day. Your brain will still take a break regardless of your desire, so don't resist the release.

"Training" of emotions

Learn to manage your own emotions. At a minimum, start noticing and identifying the emotions that you experience in specific situations. So you will understand why they arise at one time or another (for example, this is a defensive reaction) and how you can live through them, cope with them. Such an analysis will allow you to learn to distinguish when you are just winding yourself up, and when you are scrolling in your head. problem situation to find solutions.

Breathing, calculator and grounding

To calm down in stressful situations, practice anti-stress breathing: sit comfortably and concentrate on your breaths for 2-3 minutes. Or, for example, start looking at everything around you, mentally pronouncing the names of objects.

Also, for relaxation, you can use the so-called. grounding technique. Its essence is very simple: feel the ground under your feet in the truest sense of these words. Feel your feet on the ground as you focus on these sensations.

Another technique against stress is the calculation of life. Take a sheet of paper, a pen and start describing in detail one of the most enjoyable moments in your life. Count how many there were in the last week/month/year. Thanks to all this, you will relax, and also understand that everything is not so bad in your life.

Simple moves

Any repressed emotions, both negative and positive, "settle" and remain in our body. If nothing is done with them, then sooner or later it will lead to various psychosomatic diseases. The easiest way to discharge is physical activity. So start doing mini exercises at work. You can right next to your desktop: squats, swinging arms, jumping in place, etc.

If this option does not suit you, you can do it differently. For example, sitting at your desk, strain your whole body (or any part of it) strongly, then relax sharply. Then tense up again, but this time relax slowly, slowly. Find the state in which you are comfortable. You can stretch every half an hour or an hour. Even small physical exercises help relieve stress, get rid of negativity and switch.

Obligatory hobby

In addition to work, there should be another activity in life that would truly fascinate and distract you. So if you don't have a hobby, get one. Success in your favorite and pleasant business will inspire you and help you not dwell on the negative.

Safe People

In the fight against negative emotions, it is extremely important who is next to you. In your environment there should be so-called. safe people are those who can tell about all their experiences without fear and embarrassment, and they will not evaluate them, criticize or, even worse, blame you. All in all, you need a listener you can trust.

One more piece of advice. If you feel that it is difficult for you, do the exercise "I am for you" from time to time. Ask a loved one to sit next to you in silence for 15 minutes. In the process, he may periodically repeat the phrases "I'm here", "I'm with you", etc. As the psychologist explains, even the presence of another person gives a feeling of support and security. If you want to hug this person - hug, lean - lean, just touch - touch. Body contact is also very important in order to feel better.

Days of Silence

If you have a need for solitude, and you relax at the same time, then spend more time alone with yourself. Arrange yourself a so-called. quiet days: go to nature, turn off your phone, find a quiet place and meditate. Dialogue with yourself will allow you to deeply analyze your state, mood, actions and find the best way out of any situation. If you prefer to be in a company, then get together with your friends more often.