Most likely, it will not be a secret for you that usually self-confident men are much more successful in all areas of life than those who could not overcome some fears and complexes in themselves. If you belong to the second type, then you should not think that everything is lost - you may well gain self-confidence and go to conquer the cherished heights. So, where should you look for the origins of your insecurity? Upbringing. Most often, male self-doubt is precisely the result of upbringing - it comes from childhood. Often formed in preschool age when parents begin to compare their child aloud with his more skilled peers: “But Petya never gives trouble to mom!”, “Misha already knows how to count to ten, but you still can’t!” etc. Such behavior on the part of the father or mother often provides their child with a whole baggage of problems - he gradually develops a loser complex, which he eventually transfers to adolescence and then into adulthood. Appearance. Some men are dissatisfied with their appearance, and as a result, this develops into serious self-doubt. We can talk about uneven teeth, emerging baldness, features of the figure, some external defects. Weak potency. Weak potency and other problems of a sexual nature are often the cause of self-doubt. The realization that a partner may be unsatisfied seriously unsettles many men. Too high goals. It also happens that low self-esteem appears in a man if he sets himself too high, and sometimes simply unattainable goals. Having failed to achieve the task, he begins to experience dissatisfaction, which, of course, lowers his self-confidence.
Confident vs Confident Man - What's the Difference?
To begin with, let's define what an insecure man looks like, how does he behave? Also "take a closer look" at a confident man. insecure man A young man with low self-esteem often treats everything with a high degree of skepticism, and sometimes with hostility. It is not easy for him to cost relationships with fellow students and colleagues, however, as well as with a partner. Most often, on a subconscious level, they choose similar women for themselves, which then, in turn, has a negative impact on the upbringing of common children. Often, men who are insecure in themselves have a rather sloppy appearance and generally look unkempt. However, there are also such owners of low self-esteem who do their best to disguise this feature, therefore they are overly scrupulous about their own appearance. It is easy for such people to make friends. Also often in their family life conflicts occur. When a person feels insecure, he tends to blame others for his failures and mistakes. A man with low self-esteem is most often uncommunicative and withdrawn. He is often subject to someone else's opinion and influence. What image of a self-confident man has developed in modern society? Such a man will not let fear get in the way of his success. It may be about the fear of being rejected, making a mistake, getting a new reprimand. All these fears force insecure young people to stay away, but a confident representative of the strong half of humanity understands that living in fear is not taking advantage of the opportunities that life gives. Such cowardice can negatively affect a career, love relationships, friendship, and simply morale. A man who does not suffer from low self-esteem is aware that fear can appear at any moment, but at the same time he knows how to overcome this “enemy”. He will not live only in his own comfort zone - he is not alien to risk, exploring uncharted territories. Also, he will not do something in order to please someone. You have probably seen young people who go astray in order to satisfy, for example, the whim of a girl. A mature man will not do this - if he has chosen some path, and understands that this can bring good results in the future, he will continue the work. He takes care of his health, goes in for sports, develops, expanding his knowledge in areas that seem interesting or promising to him. A self-confident man does not look for an “ideal partner”, thereby following some of his complexes. He initially understands that women, like men, have not only strengths, but also weaknesses, shortcomings, and fears. He allows a woman to be weak and does not require her to live up to his expectations.
How to increase self-confidence
To boost your self-confidence, here are some effective tips. Don't fuss It is important to avoid fuss and haste - they can only be justified in the most urgent cases, and such situations in life rarely happen. You need to develop resilience to stress. Find time every day to relax and disconnect from all thoughts for at least a few minutes. Get Organized Make plans, be organized, plan ahead. You must clearly understand where you are now, where you want to be, and what needs to be done for this. Don't let situations take their course, don't leave them to chance. Get ready for the fact that you may have to adjust your plan as necessary, and understand that this is normal - do not be afraid of surprises. If possible, foresee all possible developments of a particular situation in advance, analyze how best to act in a particular outcome. In this case, "unpleasant surprises" will be minimized Set yourself achievable goals To gain self-confidence will help the implementation of the tasks set for yourself. They can be very simple or a little more complicated, but the main thing is to understand from the very beginning that they are quite achievable. An example would be cooking some interesting dish, mastering a snowboard, attending a sports training, and so on. When you complete a task, reward yourself for it. Do not forget about your even the smallest achievements - they all become the foundation for building a whole personality. So, what qualities can be described as an inner male core? First of all, we are talking about a clearly built system of our own life priorities. It is also important to distinguish between what is important to you and what is secondary. A man with an inner core is consistent in his thoughts and actions. It does not depend on other people's opinions and assessments. How to achieve it
- Determine your main life goals, which will be subordinated to other things in your life. Choose your own mission, which will give direction to the development of your inner core. Take a significant place in your life for self-development, remembering that there are no obstacles for this goal, but only excuses. Decide for yourself what exactly you want to learn and act. Devote more time to gaining new knowledge, reading, and accumulating practical skills. It is important to constantly learn something in order to develop and move forward. Do not be afraid to gain your own life experience - this is the foundation for your development. Only a man, but not a boy, can have an inner core. That is why leave all children's grievances and claims in the past, stop blaming the family for today's and past failures, and start building your own life on your own.
How to deal with low self-esteem if the environment humiliates you
First, if the environment humiliates you, this is the first reason to change it. Yes, you can fight “against everyone” and try to succeed, but in the current situation this is hardly possible. You need to distance yourself from people who lower your self-esteem. It is also useful to spend more time with new acquaintances - sign up for any training or courses, start communicating with new people. If you again encounter humiliation from others, then this is a serious reason to analyze what is the true reason for such an attitude. Most likely, here you can not do without the help of a psychologist. by all means, make an appointment - do not deprive yourself of the chance to improve your life and overcome your own complexes.
How to raise self-esteem for a man who is tormented by self-doubt, and this has the most negative impact on his success in life? What does a guy need in order to believe in himself and gain a taste of life? Men's self-esteem is formed in childhood and affects the rest of life. If the parents of the child reckoned with him, respected his wishes, then such a person grows up self-confident. If the baby was suppressed, constantly compared with other children, used physical or psychological violence, then such a person will have a very difficult life in life, because his self-esteem will be low.
However, with regular work on oneself, any guy and even an adult man can change his attitude towards himself. A man's self-esteem can be corrected. You just need to realize the degree of importance of this matter and regularly follow simple recommendations.
Types of self-assessment
There are three types of self-assessment:
- Overpriced. With this type, a person overestimates himself and his capabilities. It seems to him that the world revolves around him, all people owe him something and life is preparing all the best. Faced with reality, a person will experience constant disappointment and resentment, because he deserves all the best and even more, and life measures as much for him as for others. In relationships with other people, such a man will behave selfishly, which, in the end, may even lead to loneliness.
- Understated. It is human nature not to believe in one's own strength, to belittle one's abilities and to be constantly afraid that one will not succeed. This attitude is reflected in all areas of life. A man will be afraid to get acquainted with beautiful, smart women, fearing being rejected, will not seek career opportunities, tormented by the fear that he will not be able to cope with more difficult work, etc.
- Adequate. With such an approach to oneself, a person knows his strengths and weaknesses, his desires well. Men with this type of self-esteem are not afraid to make decisions because they take responsibility for their consequences. And even if a person fails, he will not blame himself, but will draw conclusions from the current situation and will look for other ways to achieve goals. Such a trait in men is especially attractive for women, because it speaks of confidence and reliability.
What is characteristic of an insecure man?
Here are some signs by which you can understand that a man has low self-esteem:
- constant comparison of oneself with others;
- constant criticism of others;
- pessimism, the presence in the speech of words and phrases with a negative connotation (hardly, never, not enough, excluded; maybe, maybe not; words with a particle not);
- bad mood, depression, depression;
- fear of risk, the search for excuses for one's inaction;
- guilt;
- striving for perfectionism (doing everything perfectly).
If a guy or a man is characterized by at least a few of the above signs, then with a high probability it can be stated that he has low self-esteem.
How to gain self-confidence
To raise male self-esteem, you must first recognize that it is underestimated. There is no need to be ashamed of this, because it is no one's fault that you were brought up with insecurity. It is useless to be offended by parents, because, most likely, they simply did not know other methods of education, since in turn they were once treated the same way.
So how do you work with self-esteem? The following tips will help you in this difficult task:
- Stop beating yourself up for mistakes and failures. There is not a single man who always does everything perfectly. It's human to make mistakes, and that's perfectly normal. On the basis of misses and failures, precious life experience is formed, which later helps to make the right decisions.
- Develop your mind and body. Physical and intellectual loads have the most beneficial effect on mental health. The male body from training will get stronger, gain relief, becoming more attractive. Women will surely pay attention to such a man. The discipline that needs to be exercised in training will spread to other areas of life, which will most beneficially affect self-esteem. Contribution to the development of intelligence is the most reliable investment. A smart person is always in demand in society.
If there is a person next to you in life who is not entirely sure of his need and attractiveness for you, he usually does a lot of all sorts of stupid things - you have to somehow keep you near! Sometimes such a person himself understands that such behavior is wrong, and something needs to be done about it, and sometimes he does not understand. And then your task is to raise the self-esteem of your loved one, whether it be your girlfriend or your man.
How to increase self-esteem to your man?
A man should be accepted for who he is.. Needless to say, men are people too. And they, just like women, have their weaknesses. And they consider women's love then real when they are accepted as they are. Moreover, not resigned and groaning, but really accepting everything - entirely, with giblets. This is the main condition for raising the self-esteem of any person: he must feel confident in any of his actions, knowing that his woman will never condemn him under any circumstances, but will understand and accept anyone.
A man must be sure of your love. A man must be convinced that he is loved. He must see that his own woman is interested in their union and cherishes his love. After all, men are usually in a much more disadvantageous position - they always have to win the love and location of a woman. And if a woman in a case bad mood says “Go away!”, he can leave and will feel the most miserable in the world. Where does high self-esteem come from?
A man should be admired. Criticism rarely affects anyone in a beneficial way - even the most constructive and positive. You need to find something worthwhile and precious that is really in a close man and notice it constantly and not only to yourself, but also out loud!
A man should be allowed to be silent. Men don't always show their love. You should not pull them and demand a "continuation of the banquet" in the form of constant declarations of love - thereby a woman shows that she is unsure of her companion, which means that he will be unsure of himself.
Dear women, if you want to increase your man's self-esteem, remember some simple rules:
- do not speak disrespectfully about him in a conversation with other people;
- meet him with a smile and tenderness;
- praise him and try to criticize only correctly - remember the vulnerability and emotionality of a man;
- create a favorable atmosphere at home;
- remember that a man has different reactions, a different logic, they perceive space and time differently;
- put up with socks scattered on the floor - this is a male given;
- never compare him with other, more successful men;
- celebrate any achievement.
How to boost your girlfriend's self-esteem?
In principle, the advice on how to raise the self-esteem of your not entirely self-confident girlfriend is almost the same. However, with some amendments.
Dear men, if you love your sweet and overly modest companion, try to tell her as often as possible how beautiful, desirable she is, how she excites you and leads you to admiration and awe. You can't get anywhere - a woman loves with her ears. Words of love and admiration will give confidence in their attractiveness to any person, and even more so to a woman. After all, a woman attaches great importance to her appearance. It is understandable - the men themselves love something with their eyes! Knowing that she is loved, a woman will be less jealous.
In addition, men should show with all their appearance that she is so unique, and no one will outshine her and take her place.. Even if a man liked another woman outwardly, it would be the height of tactlessness to tell his girlfriend about it. And even more so - in no case should you compare your girlfriend with others and show someone else as an example - more stylish, more slender, etc. Such “good” examples will trample the girl up to her shoulders into the abyss of her self-doubt.
And one more thing: a man, even if he is very busy with his problems, should always find time for his beloved: call or send a message; when you come home from work, bring a chocolate bar or a flower; leaving to leave a note in the kitchen with greetings and a kiss. These cute little things will be more proof of love. And this, in turn, will increase the self-esteem of the girl.
We hope that these simple tips will help keep you in love and increase the self-esteem of your life partner.
It is good to be a cool and self-confident man, for whom any doors open and who easily overcomes any obstacles. But, unfortunately, not all men have innate self-confidence. What to do with a man who has a problem with self-esteem? How to convince him that he is able to move mountains, one has only to want? These 7 ways will help boost your partner's self-esteem.
1. Praise
Praise is the number one way to boost self-esteem. If you regularly praise a man for his small successes, after a certain period of time he will gradually begin to believe in himself. The main thing is not to overdo it with praise. Otherwise, you risk spoiling a man and turning him into a big capricious one.
2. Take care of yourself
A woman is always an indicator of the success and standard of living of a man. Therefore, if you want to bring your loved one to a new more high level, start with yourself. Taking care of your appearance and developing will always benefit you and will become an excellent example for your man of how to go through life towards success.
3. Talk positively about him in public
A man, no matter how stupid and unsuccessful he may be, should always look worthy in the eyes of relatives and friends. Therefore, the first thing you should understand when entering into a relationship with him is that you should never tell anyone bad about him. The more positive and kind a man hears from you when you are together in the company of friends and relatives, the more likely he will soon be able to raise his self-esteem and truly believe in himself.
4. Ask for help
Men, in order to feel their importance and need, need from time to time to lend a helping hand to more fragile and less independent and enterprising persons, that is, women. Feel free to ask your men for help. Helping the weak, they feel their strength and power, as a result of which men grow noticeably.
5. Satisfy his physiological needs
A man who systematically receives a refusal from his beloved woman from intimacy with him, willy-nilly, begins to think about his worthlessness. For men, sex is not only a necessary relaxation, but also an indicator that they are males, which means that they are conquerors and winners. The more often a man comes into physical contact with his soul mate, the more likely it is to raise his self-esteem. It is a fact!
6. Give compliments
The overwhelming majority of women are accustomed to what to do - an exclusively male task. But this is not entirely true. Men, just like the fairer sex, need periodic support and nourishment with warm words. Feel free to sometimes tell your lover that he looks good, if this is true. Pay attention to his new haircut or new cologne. Men are also pleased with the attention from loved ones and loved ones. In addition, it always inspires self-confidence.
7. Rejoice in his success
Only true genuine joy of his success will help you significantly raise a man's self-esteem. Feel free to show emotion when he shares his little victories at work with you. And also rejoice when he starts earning more. Even if this difference is not as great as you would like, but, believe me, a man who really sincerely believe in, grows wings, with the help of which any height and any goal you set becomes possible for him.
You, as a man, have identified your problem: low self-esteem. And now you're looking for the most effective techniques increasing self-confidence, as they are used to achieving maximum results. Commendable! Such practices certainly exist. But in order to feel the effect, you have to work hard.
Here it is the same as in working on the body. You will not expect super results if you go to the gym once a week for half an hour. So it is with certainty. How to raise a man's self-esteem? Work on it regularly and powerfully. Otherwise, you shouldn’t even read what is written below - why waste your time.
And for those who are ready to work on themselves for the best result, I selected
5 most effective actions to increase male self-esteem
So, straight to the point. In order to become a confident man, you need include in your life:
- Physical exercises
Yes, yes, the same gym or any other type of activity. Football, basketball, swimming - choose according to your taste and exercise regularly. As a result, a toned figure and approving glances of the girls are great!
- Intelligence and knowledge
Knowledge is power. And it is not just words. Find an area that you are interested in and constantly update your knowledge in it. Fortunately, in our age of Internet technologies, it is absolutely not necessary to spend hours in the library for this. A smart man immediately stands out in the company, it is interesting to communicate with him - including girls.
- Hobby
And not just a hobby, but a hobby in which you can become an ace. Watching football matches will not work! But something that you can do with your hands - very much so.
How to become self-confident and raise self-esteem: power tricks
Even if things aren't going well at work, and the gym has been abandoned for the second week, you know that you are remarkably good at making furniture or building model ships. Agree, the craftsmanship is admirable!
- self esteem
I hope you took the first 3 points seriously and you have no problems with self-respect. After all, you are a physically perfect, intelligent man, and even a jack of all trades!
- your wonderful girl
Highly important point. Replacing, in principle, all the previous ones. She is the person who supports you in everything and believes in you. When she is around, everything turns out, the work burns in the hands.
Don't have one? Search urgently! (if you have a question, where, then you are here)
Are you lucky and there is such a person? I am sure that she will like the changes in you that will come after you include in your life physical activity, new knowledge, skill and begin to respect yourself more.
And now - important information.
For those who want more
Surely, in the gym you were offered to use the service of an individual trainer. In this case, the best result is achieved quickly, there is always someone who will correct you, cheer you up, show you new exercises and correct their performance.
In psychology, everything is almost the same. Almost - because in case you want to develop courage and self-confidence, the best result can be achieved when working not individually, but in a group. Therefore, the best answer to the question "how to increase a man's self-esteem" would be attending a group training! You will definitely not achieve such results alone.
It is important to choose the right training. Pay attention to the coach - it is important that he be a competent psychologist and an experienced leader. Next, the cost - good training cannot cost as much as a business lunch. It's great if the company providing the training is well-known and has good recommendations, for example, from the Independent Association of Psychologists. And yet - be sure to read the reviews of those who have already completed the training. These people have already achieved excellent results - so you will achieve no less!
How to increase self-esteem for a man in 4 days
Mikhail signed up for the training at the last moment, the day before, miraculously managed to sign him up for free place. “The decision was not easy. How to increase a guy's self-esteem, if the very registration for such a training is a tangible blow to self-esteem! I spent the first day at the intensive in painful thoughts whether I needed it. But the next day, I noticed that I was already communicating with the other members more confidently! After completing the training I invited a colleague and got consent.
And Ivan, an entrepreneur, told us about how he now easily conducts successful business meetings. “During the self-esteem training, I performed the “I create the conditions” technique. And suddenly I realized that this is what is needed in order to raise the self-esteem of a male businessman, and this is exactly what is required for profitable negotiations. I tried… Miracle, of course, did not happen, but the negotiations really began to take place easier and on more favorable terms for me.”
4 days of training are your four evenings after work or study. You can spend time with friends, watch a movie, play World of Tanks, sleep well. And you can spend this time working on yourself - and leave the training a different person. Confident, energetic man. Of course, you will have to work on yourself even after the training - but now you know exactly how to develop a man's self-confidence, and you will act purposefully.
Doubt the effectiveness? We are not. Therefore, we will refund your money if you think that the training did not help you. Give yourself confidence, and your beloved woman - the best man - the one you will become!
How can I help my husband improve his self-esteem? It happens that men are not satisfied with their appearance or their achievements in life. Because of this, they become intractable, gloomy and sad. The frequent grumbling of such men does not allow them to live in peace as a household. In such a situation, the wife has to take everything into her own hands and begin to rehabilitate her husband. She faces only one question: how to help her husband raise his self-esteem and believe in himself?
Praise your husband more often. It's not true that men don't like compliments. How much they love and even need them. After each household chore done or solving any, albeit insignificant, problem, be sure to say a couple of kind words. What a great guy he is! That he is the most wonderful! What golden hands he has! The same goes for his appearance. Men, especially after a certain age, begin to experience certain complexes associated with overweight, age, gray hair. Here, too, you need to show cunning and, in a convenient situation, give him a compliment. We can say that young girls look at him, and you are very lucky to have such a man nearby. All age-related changes can be presented as a kind of charm that he did not have before.
If the situation is very neglected, and your words do not really matter, you can use the help of a friend. Invite her over sometime when your husband is at home.
How to raise a man's low self-esteem?
Let her unobtrusively tell him how good he began to look. Or let her notice with delight the shelf he has attached to the kitchen. It can be anything. The main thing is that the words are not rude flattery, and your husband does not suspect anything.
Take him to stores more often and arrange shopping. Choose exactly those items of clothing that fit perfectly on it. Let him see for himself how good he still looks. The advantage of such trips is that store assistants are trained to read laudatory odes to their clients. This can play into your hands and boost your husband's self-esteem.
A woman should sometimes drop in a conversation how other men look at her. And it will be even better if your husband himself becomes a witness to such a look. After that, it should be said that you still have the best one. This technique is like butter for a cat. The man immediately straightens his shoulders and posture, proud that such a woman is next to him. In any case, it will raise his self-esteem. The main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to cause a feeling of jealousy, which can ruin everything.
Probably, it would not be superfluous to remind you, dear readers, of how important it is to be a self-confident person in this life. However, you yourself can see very well how self-confident people achieve much greater success in this world than insecure ones. The confident are drawn to, the confident are loved, and the insecure are shunned, ridiculed, and in some cases even despised. Self-confidence is a sign of strength, and insecurity is a sign of weakness. And people love and respect strength, and hate weakness, because weakness does not lead to anything good. Therefore, it is better to be a self-confident person in order to enjoy life and achieve all kinds of success in it. In this article, I will tell you about how to increase self-confidence in ways known and tried by me. And in general, on this site, I will try to write more about self-confidence, since this is a very important topic for many people. So check back with me more often. Well, now, let's study this issue properly.
So, self-confidence - what is it? Let's say it very simply and clearly - this is self-understanding and self-love! As far as faith is concerned, it must, of course, be present in your heart and mind. But it must be so strong and strong that it cannot be shaken. That is, you must always believe in yourself, no matter what happens. And to believe in yourself means to understand yourself and love yourself, again, no matter what. No one, remember, no one should shake your faith in yourself, no one should force you to doubt yourself and your abilities! Otherwise, there is no point in faith! Believe in yourself as if you know for sure that there is nothing impossible for you in this life and that you are the most best person in this world, the most valuable person in this world, without whom he cannot exist. Self-confident people understand that apart from themselves, there is no one and nothing more important in this world. Self-confident people love themselves already for the fact that they simply are, that they exist, they love themselves for the fact that they have the opportunity to live and enjoy everything that life gives them, both good and bad. They enjoy life and love it, no matter what it is for them. You will never become a completely self-confident person if you feel confident only in certain situations when external circumstances develop in a favorable way for you. You always have to believe in yourself to be confident, so to speak, for real! And you also need to understand yourself in order to see all your strengths and weaknesses and skillfully use them to achieve your goals. You should not divide your life into black and white. Your whole life should be a holiday for you! And you must be the main character in your life, you need to become an authority for yourself, and then, if possible, for others. And then, friends, a miracle will happen - a program of self-confidence will turn on in you. This is the program - the leader, the hunter, the program - a high-ranking male, or a female, if you are a woman.
We are friends in such a way that lives inside us, both a slave and a master. And depending on how our life develops, as well as on how we treat ourselves, either the self-confident personality of the master wakes up in us, or the self-confident, degenerative personality of the slave. Do you understand the meaning of what we call self-confidence? This is the state of a strong person - a leader, a leader! This is a program, if expressed in computer language, necessary for those people who want to subordinate, not obey.
Here, let's look at what a confident person should be, so that you understand what you need to do to become just such a person. There are opinions that live in the minds of many people, according to which a self-confident person always keeps his posture, walks with his head held high, confident gait, speaks loudly and confidently, actively gesticulates, he is firm in his decisions, always in a good mood and so on and so forth. Friends, if you hear or read such nonsense somewhere, you can safely ignore it, because such an understanding of the state of self-confidence has nothing to do with it. A self-confident person does not care about all of the above. He does not care what his posture is, how he speaks, how he walks, how he looks, and so on - he loves himself for who he is, and does not pay attention to the inconsistency of his behavior with the beliefs of other people. If you don’t like how a person talks, how he walks, how he looks, and you consider him insecure, this is your problem. A self-confident person does not care about your opinion and your attitude towards him. If he needs to, he will force you to treat yourself the way he needs, and if not, he doesn’t give a damn about you. Of course, being interested in impressing people, a confident person can change his behavior in the right way, he can play this or that role if it is necessary for people to form the opinion he needs about him. But he himself, inside himself, will remain as he is comfortable to be. So do not attach any importance to all these external signs of self-confidence. Live the way you feel comfortable living, behave the way you feel comfortable to behave, and convince other people that you are right - let them change and adapt to you, not you to them. Let them follow your rules, and you ignore their rules. Is it difficult for you to do it? Come on, there's nothing complicated about it. You just need to tune in to the right logic to do what you need. The right one is always the one who considers himself right and at the same time actively, but competently, imposes his rightness on others, and not the one who is allegedly objectively right. There is no objectivity, each person is right in his own way, because each person has his own interests.
Therefore, it is not difficult to stick to your own beliefs and follow your own rules. And such an approach to life will include in you the program of a strong, self-confident person. And by competently imposing your beliefs and rules on other people, you will turn on the leader’s program in yourself. But keep in mind that you must always carefully and competently present your rightness, your beliefs, values and rules to other people so that they agree to accept them, and not oppose them. There is no need to impose anything on anyone by aggressive methods. Show people in best light- their values, views, beliefs, rules, and they themselves will accept it all. A self-confident person does not force anything on anyone. Instead, he beautifully shows people his values, his views on certain things, his truth, invites them to follow their rules, so that they themselves want to become a part of it all, so that they voluntarily agree to abide by its rules. But aggressive behavior, the use of brute physical force against the weak is not only a sign of low intellectual development man, but also evidence of his self-doubt.
You know, friends, formally, there are so many ways to increase self-confidence that you can even get confused among them. You have probably already read articles on this topic and tried to do something with yourself, using the information received, in order to become a more self-confident person. So what happened? Probably, not everything worked out for you, if anything at all, since you are reading this article. Do you know why you didn’t really succeed, why, having learned how to increase your self-confidence, you didn’t increase it? And because this is not science for you, it is not knowledge that is important here, but feelings and sensations. You need to learn to feel like a free person and learn to feel your importance for yourself. You must awaken a free and strong personality in yourself, and shut up that zatyukanny mediocrity, which is always trying to please everyone and adapt to everyone, which is afraid of criticism in its address and tries to stay away always and everywhere. And all these self-confidence steps that you can read about in books and in countless articles on the Internet are just theory, dry and lifeless. Feel the taste of life, whatever it is for you, feel your independence from everything that happens in this world. Dissolve into your life, in the current moment, as if you came out of darkness into the light, and forget about everything that prevents you from loving this life. This love of life will allow you to love yourself, because if it were not for you, there would not be this bliss that you experience when you live, when you even just breathe the air. Feel the joy of being in this world. Well, don't you feel your own greatness, your own importance, your own exclusivity? Without you, this world would not exist, for you it definitely would not exist! Do you understand it? Realize how great it is to be human and enjoy life. You are a person, you are a person - you are unique, you are magnificent, you are divine! Feel how a strong personality wakes up inside you, which can do anything. This person has crazy self-confidence because she is - great personality. You are a great personality!
If, thinking about yourself, you involuntarily begin to compare yourself with other people, because it is against their background that you feel like an insecure person, then drive these thoughts away. They, these other people, as it always seemed to you and probably still seems to be, are better than you in some ways, in especially difficult cases - they are better than you in everything. If these thoughts torment you, then answer your question and what, that they are better than you? What's next? Well, yes, there are other people who can be better than you in some ways, and worse in some ways, by the way, what does this have to do with you? You live your life, and they live theirs, you have your problems, they have theirs, you have your joys, and they have theirs. Other people have absolutely nothing to do with your self-confidence, because they are different, you understand, others. They look at life through their little window, and you through yours, they play their game, and you play yours. So forget about other people, don't compare yourself to them, don't compare your life to theirs, focus on yourself! You are reading this article in order to increase your self-confidence, and not to understand how you are better and why you are worse than other people, so your personality is what is most important to you in this life. And I want to talk to you in this article only about you!
And you, too, need to think only about yourself, so, at this moment, you need to think only about yourself and about no one else. You must realize that every part of you is the best, the most perfect thing that has ever been created in this world. All yours personal qualities that you know about is the most valuable thing you have. Not your things, not yours life success, not money and not the attitude of other people towards you, should instill self-confidence in you, but your acceptance of yourself as you are. Understand that self-confidence is not some kind of pumping, pumping, pumping out of your psyche, as they do with stupid people when they inspire them with all sorts of nonsense about themselves - this is your understanding of your pricelessness, your exclusivity, your significance. The strong person living in you loves himself and values himself, because he considers himself the most valuable creature in this world, and the slave living inside you, the weakling, wanted to spit on himself, because he considers himself an empty place. You must understand that you are not one of many, but one unique and unique, special. Well, there is no other person in the world like you, and there never will be. And the fact that you are alive now is a great happiness. This is how the self-confident master, leader, leader perceives life, living inside you. And a weak personality, which also lives in you, always compares itself with everyone, and of course, not in its favor. A weak personality thinks about others more than about himself, because he does not love and does not appreciate himself, and does not consider himself a person at all. Silence this weak personality in yourself with thoughts of your own greatness, because it is she who makes you an insecure person.
You must also understand, dear readers, that your deeds will make you a self-confident person. Do you think it should be such things that will allow you to achieve something outstanding in this life? No, any of your affairs can do this, any of your activities will benefit you. Many times I came across people who frantically repeated - mistakes, mistakes, mistakes - we make mistakes, we constantly make mistakes, we do everything wrong and this kills our self-confidence. Therefore, we will not do anything else, because it still does not work. Friends, everyone makes mistakes! What's wrong with mistakes!?
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence?
Our whole life consists of mistakes and problems, there would be no mistakes and problems, I don’t even know how we would live. And it is normal to make mistakes, because, as you know, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. Do you know how many mistakes I've made in my life? There is so much, so much that just words can not convey. Do you think I care a lot? Not at all. And my self-confidence is not affected by how many mistakes I have made in the past and how many I will make in the near future. Although no, I’m lying when I’m wrong - my self-confidence grows! And how it will not grow - I live, I act, I create, I do what I think is right, what I want to do, what I consider important to do. How can I not be sure of myself. And my mistakes testify to my active work. And when I make a mistake, I know for sure that I am not afraid of anything and I am not running from anything, I do not limit myself in actions because of mistakes. I continue to do what I think is necessary to do, no matter what. And you say mistakes. Yes, you spit on these mistakes, in the sense, do not give them of great importance, but just take them into account in order to know what not to do. In general, learn from mistakes, as they do smart people and don't get killed over them. The main thing is not to be afraid to act, the more things you redo, the better. A self-confident person is a person of action!
So friends - love yourself, appreciate yourself, admire yourself, do not compare yourself with anyone, and your self-confidence will increase.
And most importantly - act, I beg you, act! No need to sit idle and wait for some words of other people to give you self-confidence - go and do something important and great, make mistakes, then do it again, be persistent, do not be afraid of difficulties and you yourself will not notice how to become a very confident person. Feed the strong personality in you, not the weak one. While you are in the active state, you will be charged with confidence, as soon as you fall into the passive state, your self-confidence will begin to fade.
In the event that your negative life experience prevails over positive, as a result of which you are not confident in yourself, then rethink your negative experience, yourself, or with the help of a psychologist. Think about it, is it as negative as it seems to you? Maybe your failures in the past paved the way for you to success in the present or in the future? Although, what does it mean - maybe that's exactly the way it is. Everything you have done and are doing is right! You don't have to regret anything. Rejoice in everything that was, that is and that will be, because our life consists of all this. Even the fact that you have been, until now, an insecure person is a set of sensations you need that you had to experience in your life. Otherwise, life will seem tasteless, you know? Once I was an insecure young man, and I didn’t really like it either. But it was still very good time. My self-doubt made sense - I just felt this insecurity, experienced it, lived it until it was gone, when I no longer needed it. Now I understand that these were quite interesting sensations, and I would not want to change anything in my life, namely, in my past. I am happy that I was an insecure person, but since in our practical world, it is still better to be confident - I abandoned uncertainty in favor of confidence.
And now I suggest you do the same. Just give up self-doubt in favor of confidence, that's all you have to do. A person can change the program of his behavior whenever he wants, there is nothing complicated about it. You just need to want to change your views on life and on yourself, and they will immediately change. Make the decision to become a confident person, and you will become one. A strong personality will wake up in you, and a weak personality will fall asleep. Give a command to your body - in the form of thoughts that you are a leader, a leader, that you are the best person in the world, that you are a unique person, that you are a brilliant person, special, priceless, that all your deeds and actions have been and will be right! And then your self-confidence will wake up, because the personality of a strong person will wake up in you. With your right thoughts, you will activate the self-confidence program.
If you fail to give yourself this command, ask me for help, then I will give you this command. You will definitely become a self-confident person! In some cases, people still need to change their lifestyle in order for it to begin to awaken in them a strong, self-confident personality. But we will talk about this, dear friends, already in my other articles.
Found a mistake in the text? Please select it and press Ctrl+Enter
"All life's failures and failures, resentment of fate -
it is a burden that drags our self-esteem down,
lowering it below the plinth"
Girls often turn to me with a request to raise their self-esteem. As if self-esteem can be raised with the help of a regular consultation ...
Of course not. Self-esteem is the result of a complex of human virtues. If there are few advantages, self-esteem will be low. If there are many of them, self-esteem will be high and adequate.
If a person is realized in his profession, has achieved high professionalism, and earns well, he will always be a self-satisfied individual with high self-esteem.
If a person does not grow as a professional in his field, or rushes from one occupation to another, he will always have low self-esteem (and, accordingly, earnings).
If a person has high self-esteem, he will never agree to unfavorable offers for him. And he can always calmly say how much one hour of his work costs (no matter who he works - as a cook, surgeon or hairdresser) - and oddly enough, people will pay him how much he says.
When a person has high self-esteem, it is easier for him to negotiate and negotiate on favorable terms for him. High self-esteem has a magical effect on the interlocutor, such people are more trusted, more likely to agree with them. Of course: the higher a person's self-esteem, the more money he will earn.
High self-esteem in the professional field is always clear to us. But with high self-esteem in the matter of femininity and charm, women have a complete gap.
If a woman has high self-esteem in terms of femininity, a man will never yell or grumble at her. He will always calmly communicate with her and strive to negotiate. High self-esteem in terms of femininity acts magically on men. With such a woman, a man builds relationships from the very beginning. only on her terms.
He meets with her only when it is convenient for HER. He only takes her where she wants to go. He opens the door for her, gives her a coat. They start having sex only when she herself wants it - and not a day earlier.
A woman with high self-esteem is able to completely influence her man. Why? Because he wants it!
Such a woman makes it clear with her whole appearance, look, gestures - "I am the Madonna! I am the Goddess! I am the woman of your dreams!"
She is self-confident, knows her worth (and, if necessary, can indicate it), and will never agree with what does not suit her.
She likes to realize herself in many areas of life. She strives to become a professional in her field (or has already become one), knows how to dress herself, make up, what hairstyle suits her the most. She knows how to enhance her strengths and hide her flaws - and brazenly uses this to be the best. He constantly develops his knowledge and skills: communication skills, the art of self-presentation, intelligence (reads a lot), takes care of his health, improves the subtleties of makeup and creating an external image ...
She knows what she wants from life, and can easily tell about it - men really like it (which was found out thanks to recent research by scientists).
Such a woman always looks much more attractive to men. Here I do not mean appearance, but female charisma.
What is "high self-esteem in terms of femininity"?
This is when a woman knows how to please a man, and effectively uses this knowledge. She is a well-educated woman who continues to develop as a womanhood professional.
This is when you came to a banquet - and met ten or twenty men. They liked it and made friends.
I have a girlfriend (divorced, with a child) who is constantly being proposed in marriage. Why? Because she professionally knows how to please men. And her admirers are simply afraid of losing her. By the way, they recently walked at her bachelorette party in a restaurant, so men constantly invited her and there to a slow dance, and one even gave roses :).
A man persuades such a woman for a long time and stubbornly: "Marry me!".
She is never afraid of losing her husband (because she knows that she will never be alone).
But at the same time, she is not afraid to be alone.
How to give a man confidence
If she is not satisfied with her relationship with a man, she will easily part with him.
She is not afraid to live alone. This is even a joy for her, since she can re-read mountains of useful literature, develop new abilities in herself, work on her beautiful way. And then get your hair done, put on a beautiful dress, go to a banquet and meet ten or twenty men there, making new and interesting acquaintances ...
Traffic police officers do not fine her, taxi drivers do not charge. We now have cadets after three months of training write: “Oksana, the taxi driver didn’t charge me, and the policeman didn’t fine me - hurrah, I passed (baptism of fire)! 🙂 Now I feel such feminine strength in myself!”
After half an hour of talking with a new acquaintance, he can propose to her in marriage.
Do you know how friends with such abilities communicate?
- O! You have a new dress! How beautiful you are today!
- And you did something with your hair, it's so shiny! Amazing woman!
They raise each other's self-esteem, and then: which of the men did not hide - they are not to blame :).
High self-esteem in terms of femininity is a complex of abilities, knowledge and skills. For several years of working with cadets, we have found out by experience that we need to work on all fronts:
* If parents in childhood underestimated self-esteem (often scolded, never praised), did not add love, then you will have to get it yourself. With the help of art therapy and NLP techniques, we fill this gap.
* Resentment against oneself, the habit of destructively criticizing oneself is an underestimation of self-esteem. We learn to forgive ourselves, and accept ourselves as we are, with all the advantages and disadvantages, with all the mistakes and sins of the past. We instill in ourselves the habit of criticizing ourselves only constructively and to the point.
* All life's failures and failures, resentment of fate - this is a burden that pulls our self-esteem down, lowering it below the plinth. And this cannot be left to chance - who needs low self-esteem? To deal with this misunderstanding, I suggest using a success diary. I offer many cadets a complicated version of the diary, where you need to describe your entire biography, and then change all negative life attitudes to new ones - useful and effective. I also recommend reading several books on the subject.
* If a woman cannot go to a banquet and charm ten or twenty men there, if she is not able to meet a man (at least somewhere, even on the street) - this always affects her self-esteem. It will be low, whatever one may say. To solve this problem, we develop the skills of Self-presentation, learn to communicate and charm the interlocutor with ourselves. We study and practice different techniques of dating, communication and charm.
Having high self-esteem in terms of femininity is a whole science that can be comprehended for years. Believing in yourself, setting new goals and gradually achieving them.
You can raise the self-esteem of a loved one
You really want your man to walk through life with his head held high. He easily solved problems, was not afraid of difficulties, he was always the master of the situation. So that he believes in himself and knows his worth.
Such desires do not arise in you at all because you want to remake your chosen one. Just you him love you very much. After all, it is extremely important for a man to control and direct his own life, and an insecure person is not capable of this. And self-esteem in general weakness men, and we women need to protect it.
You, as a loved one, can do a lot. Since you have a question about how to increase your husband's self-esteem, I assume that he is now going through a really difficult period in his life. He worries and withdraws into himself. You also experience and intuitively feel that can you help. It really is.
How to give confidence to a man: a plan of action
Our goal is to grow a man's self-esteem anew. And here's how you can do it:
Find a situation in which you need his help. Hammer a nail, hang a picture, clean your computer from viruses. It is important to choose what he will definitely succeed, otherwise you can achieve the opposite effect. After completion - thank and praise in every possible way and sing songs on the topic "what would I do without you."
For example, to consult about choosing a new phone or laptop. Ask about the best way to get to your destination. In principle, and you are pleased when they consult with you, and this caresses the male self-esteem.
- Show that you are interested in them
That is, to express interest and respect for his hobby. Yes, it is difficult for us women to understand how exciting and difficult it is, for example, fishing. Or football. Try to find some of his hobbies that are of interest to you, and ... show this interest. See how a man will blossom when he tells you about his favorite business!
About your favorite job. Do you have a hard time imagining what exactly your beloved man does at work? And you ask. Maybe at the same time you will learn a lot of new things about the chosen one. Men at work often behave quite differently than they do at home or with friends. A great way to get to know your loved one from the other side!
Home is a place where a man comes to rest, recover, gain strength, confidence and tranquility.
How to become a man who is always confident
Then with new forces to rush into battle again. I'm sure you know exactly what to do. I only remind you that at a time when your man is emotionally difficult, the importance of such a “rear” increases significantly.
In every possible way. A delicious dinner, a gentle massage, the main words, a bright night, a touching postcard. Taste. No comment.
Lessons in self-confidence - for your men and for you
By the way, what about confidence? you yourself? I ask because the condition of a woman greatly affects emotional condition her men.
For example, Anna, my client, came to me with the question "how to increase her husband's self-esteem." Nothing worked, no matter what she tried. In the process of consultation, Anna realized that with her own insecurity and isolation, she was “pulling” her beloved along with her. As soon as she herself became calmer, more active and joyful, her husband changed.
A wonderful solution to the problem can be psychological training. It will be just perfect if you come together. But the likelihood that your man will agree to this is small, right? Dont be upset. Come yourself and immediately kill two birds with one stone - firstly, you will become more confident and calmer, and secondly, you will try and remember the most best exercises. And then you will work out at home - with your husband.
Little trick: you can not say that you want to help him. Say you need his help! For example, to work on a skill that you just learned in the training - many exercises require pairs ... Remember - to show that it is needed?
You will definitely be able to restore self-confidence to your man, because you are an attentive, loving and wise woman, real wings for him. Your chosen one is very lucky that it is you next to him!
It happens that in different areas we don't feel the same. For example, a woman can easily be confident in herself as a specialist, and then the professional part of her self-esteem will be high.
But this does not mean that she will be confident in herself as a woman.
Women's self-esteem is an internal feeling of their value and attractiveness for the opposite sex. A woman with adequate self-esteem is not afraid of male attention, feels worthy of love and respect. The attitude towards oneself as a woman is also strongly influenced by attitudes regarding love, relationships, female and male. For example, many people have the belief that "To love means to suffer and sacrifice." Is it possible to treat yourself with respect with such an attitude?
If we do not believe that we are worthy of male attention, that the woman of us is “not very good”, then we will behave accordingly. Faktrum publishes an article from the online magazine School of Life listing five signs of a woman with low self-esteem:
1. A woman with low self-esteem does not know how and cannot accept help, gifts and just male attention. Somewhere inside, she does not believe that she deserves to be loved just like that. Therefore, she is lost or looking for a catch when compliments are given to her or they try to get to know each other.
2. Low self-esteem keeps whispering to a woman that she is "not very" that you need to agree to the relationship that is offered to her. Who knows, maybe she won't be able to attract anyone else? And as long as she thinks so, that's exactly what she will get: few people are attracted to an insecure woman. As a result, she does not consider herself in the right to choose a man and often finds herself in relationships with those from whom it is better to stay away.
3. Another indicator of low self-esteem is inability to speak directly and aloud about their desires. And this applies not only to help or gifts. Even if a man honestly tries to make her feel good, asks what she wants, then such a woman speaks in riddles or avoids answering. The partner each time has to pull her desires out of her with claws, and sooner or later such games will tire any adequate man. But this state of affairs will completely suit someone who is not interested in her desires.
A woman with low self-esteem is afraid to “frighten off” a man, it seems to her that she will be loved only if she adapts to other people's desires, if she is comfortable and does not want something for herself. Unconsciously, she believes that love must be earned, and if she is herself, then she will be abandoned. In a relationship, these attitudes force women to make any concessions, if only a man is nearby, if only they don’t leave us. And this The best way to be in a place where we are not valued or respected.
4. This implies another sign of low female self-esteem: she is not respected by those around her. The people around us reflect the level of our self-esteem. How you value yourself is how others will react to you. Remember your feelings different people: there are those who get nasty - well, the tongue does not turn. And there are those who are drawn to kick. What does it depend on? From self-esteem. If a person feels inner dignity, if he loves and respects himself, he will not allow himself to be rude. He will not associate with those who are disrespectful, will not tolerate this.
5. Our self-esteem is reflected in how we treat other women. A woman with low self-esteem compares herself to others all the time and often sees all around competitors. If deep down you know that no one else has such a set of qualities as you, then you will not compete. You have your advantages, the other lady has hers. And each will be attractive to those who appreciate precisely its features. If you, for example, are tall, then those men who love tall people will be attracted to you. That's all.
But if a woman sees a rival in every other lady, this suggests that deep down she feels not unique and not valuable. She compares herself to others all the time. And it doesn't matter if it loses in comparison or wins. Indeed, in this case, her attitude towards herself constantly depends on those who were nearby.
What gets in the way of self-esteem? Fear of being bad, fear of being selfish, fear of being abandoned. We feel that if we love and respect ourselves, then someone may not like it, that they will stop loving us. I will not lie and say that everything will be fine. Yes, indeed, there will be people who will not be satisfied with this. What does "egoist" mean? This is a person who is inconvenient to others. The one who thinks with his own head, the one who cannot be controlled. And for some people, this state of affairs will seem very disadvantageous.
How to become a confident man
Do you need these people around you?
Many of us have a fear that if we begin to demand respect for ourselves, if we begin to love and protect ourselves, then we will become bad. As one great psychotherapist said: “Defending your boundaries doesn't make you a bad person. You become an adult."
