Sense of humor

Sarcasm refers to mild derision and cheeky behavior disguised as wit. From this we can already conclude that it is extremely difficult for timid people to both use and understand sarcasm. Usually unsociable and withdrawn people “sick” like this. The most striking example of the inability to understand sarcasm is the character of the TV series Theory big bang» Sheldon Cooper, who over the course of many seasons learned to understand sarcasm. His example proves that sarcasm and a sense of humor are inseparable.

How to improve your sense of humor? This is as much a philosophical question as “what is the meaning of life?”. Improvement in erudition, reading books, preferably satirical ones, sometimes even watching various films and TV shows, where you can find satirical humor, will help a little.

Vocabulary improvement

Why are most writers great at sarcasm? Because their vocabulary much richer than the average person. This is another key to understanding and applying sarcasm. Simply put, well-read people will learn sarcasm much faster than those who do not develop their vocabulary. Unfortunately, it can only be expanded by regular reading or by working with texts of a different nature. Therefore, if you are looking for a way to learn sarcasm and irony, then books are the best help.

In essence, sarcasm is the manipulation of subtext, which must necessarily be supported by the correct intonation. That is why it is very difficult for many people to understand whether a person is telling the truth or not. Nevertheless, vocabulary allows you to better capture the meaning of what was said, which, of course, will make it possible to recognize sarcasm in time.

Try to avoid being "poisonous"

You have probably seen situations in life when sarcasm performed by some people looks funny, while others cause aggression and a negative reaction. In the latter case, it is called "poisonous". This is such sarcasm that has acquired negative notes and does not mean a joke and humor, but outright ridicule. This should be avoided, because such an application of this concept will constantly spoil your relationships with other people.

That is why it is important to know the sense of proportion, which you need to be able to understand no worse than sarcasm itself. Unfortunately, this understanding usually comes only with experience, but you can influence it now. When using sarcasm in speech, do not try to offend the other person, in most cases this will allow you not to go too far and apply the so-called "correct irony".

Choose the right place, time and situation

The classics have repeatedly argued that sarcasm should be well-aimed. This means that it should be used only when it is appropriate, and not when you want to. By using this tool too much, you will also create a negative feeling in the people around you. Also, you should never turn sarcasm into a broken record, that is, do not constantly repeat the same memorized phrases and jokes. The ironic expression said several times will lose its relevance.

Seriousness is the basic rule of sarcasm

If sarcasm is an art, then it has only one requirement - you need to be serious. Sarcasm, which is spoken out with laughter, immediately turns into a joke, moreover, most often unsuccessful. The peculiarity of satirical humor lies in the fact that you convey it solely by twisting the meaning, without showing it. That is why ironic jokes and statements are the most difficult to understand.

However, how in this case to make it clear to a person that this is sarcasm? Especially if he doesn't know you too well? In this case, use the most common "hints", which are a smile and even a smirk. It is only important that she not be malevolent and caustic, as this will give the sarcasm the previously mentioned "poison".

Summing up, it should be noted that one of the synonyms of sarcasm is rather wit, and not humor, in its usual sense. If you want to understand it as well as possible, then you need to strive for this constantly. Sooner or later, the result will not keep you waiting.

How to put in place with one phrase and learn how to respond to people

Indeed, we meet with a boor / boorish person and in this meeting I want to be a "winner". Groups are advertised on social networks where, with the help of funny pictures, they promise to teach us how to respond to barbs with sarcasm. Personally, I have an image of a middle-aged woman screaming at someone in a transport and drooling in my head.

In fact, there are plenty of ways to react: you can use psychological defense, stand "in a position from above", "in a position from below" or be "in a position on an equal footing". Below we will analyze each of them.

Using psychological defense, you can deny everything (“it’s not so humiliating, you think”) or displace (“I don’t even remember what this person was talking about there”). I've only mentioned two defenses, but others can be tried. Any psychological defenses are quite effective in the short term and save time. But in the long run, their frequent use is rather harmful.

You can be "in a position from above" with the help of a pseudo-psychologism of the form: "probably this person is already offended, and his life is so-so if he offends others" or "how pathetic you have to be to do that." The desire to respond with sarcasm also meets the needs of this "position from above." That is, we somehow famously answered this way, and now the offender himself gasps for air from indignation. And we go into the sunset with a smile.

But sarcasm, although it is aggression, is indirect, but passive. Even if we manage to answer beautifully with one phrase, then to be honest, we understand that this is not us. Although memorized phrases will calm us down, we will still be restless inside. That is, I understand for sure that I am not like that, just a phrase was able to temporarily calm my anxiety.

It is also possible to be "in a position from below", but then no questions will arise. Then everything that happens will seem quite natural and you are unlikely to read this article. For example, you can start to calm the rude person or agree with him.

With rudeness, we are talking about two phenomena: violation of our boundaries and a reciprocal expression of anger. Speaking in terms of Gestalt therapy, then contact can be interrupted either at the first or at the second stage of the conflict. The therapist needs to determine in which of two situations the client is helpless. The client can be insensitive to himself and not understand that the boundaries have been violated (be in a merger), or think that the elders can do this (introject), or believe that this boor is definitely bad, and I’m good (project), or have prohibitions on their aggressiveness (introject). Everyone has their own, and these points should be clarified.

If such situations are repeated constantly, then we can talk about some kind of "neurosis" (in the everyday sense of it). If a person feels bad every time, worries, searches search engines for effective schemes and how it was necessary to answer correctly, and it still happens, then this is already a request for personal psychotherapy. If this happened a couple of times, then, probably, you should not attach any importance to this.

Drawing a conclusion, we can say that it is necessary to prepare for such a case not sharp phrases, but awareness. It's difficult, especially when adrenaline rises. But such questions to yourself: "what's wrong with me now", "what do I care about", "where can I get support" will most likely help. Approximate scheme action, in my opinion, is as follows:

1. Give yourself time to realize what is happening, acknowledge the whole range of your feelings: excitement, shame, excitement, fear and others.

2. Once you recognize them, you will most likely be able to recognize anger (as your right to respond).

3. Determine what exactly you don't like about being treated: volume of voice, tone, smell, figures of speech.

4. Try to transform anger into action, but one that is aimed at restoring boundaries and what specifically you did not like.

5. Further, with the help of I-messages or actions, the boundaries must be restored. For example, move away a little, report that the cry is uncomfortable, you don’t like the mat. That is, think only to yourself. Your Self should become the most important thing in the world. Consistently eliminate everything that you do not like.

Whether or not this will work with a specific person is the tenth question. The restoration of subjectivity is the first question in the reaction to insults. And yes, in life in general.

As strange as it may sound, not all people can use and understand sarcasm. It does not depend on any abilities, ingenuity and other qualities. In fact, the key to success is just an accurate understanding of the concept itself, as well as the ability to "read" sarcastic notes in people's speech. It is also worth remembering that sarcasm itself can be different. It can be compared to art, which is given to some people more than others. Therefore, if you do not understand sarcasm, perhaps the problem is not with you at all, but with the one who is trying to use it.

However, how does one learn sarcasm enough to not only understand it, but also apply it? There are no universal methods that would be acceptable to everyone. Instead, let's try to figure out what sarcasm is, how to respond to it, when it is appropriate, and so on.

Sense of humor

First of all, sarcasm refers to humor, though the satirical category is much closer to it. Sarcasm refers to mild derision and cheeky behavior disguised as wit. From this we can already conclude that it is extremely difficult for timid people to both use and understand sarcasm. Usually unsociable and withdrawn people “sick” like this. The most striking example of the inability to understand sarcasm is the character of the series "The Big Bang Theory" Sheldon Cooper, who over the course of many seasons learned to understand sarcasm. His example proves that sarcasm and a sense of humor are inseparable.

How to improve your sense of humor? This is as much a philosophical question as “what is the meaning of life?”. Improvement in erudition, reading books, preferably satirical ones, sometimes even watching various films and TV shows, where you can find satirical humor, will help a little.

Vocabulary improvement

Why are most writers great at sarcasm? Because their vocabulary is much richer than the average person. This is another key to understanding and applying sarcasm. Simply put, well-read people will learn sarcasm much faster than those who do not develop their vocabulary. Unfortunately, it can only be expanded by regular reading or by working with texts of a different nature. Therefore, if you are looking for a way to learn sarcasm and irony, then books are the best help.

In essence, sarcasm is the manipulation of subtext, which must necessarily be supported by the correct intonation. That is why it is very difficult for many people to understand whether a person is telling the truth or not. Nevertheless, vocabulary allows you to better capture the meaning of what was said, which, of course, will make it possible to recognize sarcasm in time.

Try to avoid being "poisonous"

You have probably seen situations in life when sarcasm performed by some people looks funny, while others cause aggression and a negative reaction. In the latter case, it is called "poisonous". This is such sarcasm that has acquired negative notes and does not mean a joke and humor, but outright ridicule. This should be avoided, because such an application of this concept will constantly spoil your relationships with other people.

That is why it is important to know the sense of proportion, which you need to be able to understand no worse than sarcasm itself. Unfortunately, this understanding usually comes only with experience, but you can influence it now. When using sarcasm in speech, do not try to offend the other person, in most cases this will allow you not to go too far and apply the so-called "correct irony".

Choose the right place, time and situation

The classics have repeatedly argued that sarcasm should be well-aimed. This means that it should be used only when it is appropriate, and not when you want to. By using this tool too much, you will also create a negative feeling in the people around you. Also, you should never turn sarcasm into a broken record, that is, do not constantly repeat the same memorized phrases and jokes. The ironic expression said several times will lose its relevance.

Seriousness is the basic rule of sarcasm

If sarcasm is an art, then it has only one requirement - you need to be serious. Sarcasm, which is spoken out with laughter, immediately turns into a joke, moreover, most often unsuccessful. The peculiarity of satirical humor lies in the fact that you convey it solely by twisting the meaning, without showing it. That is why ironic jokes and statements are the most difficult to understand.

However, how in this case to make it clear to a person that this is sarcasm? Especially if he doesn't know you too well? In this case, use the most common "hints", which are a smile and even a smirk. It is only important that she not be malevolent and caustic, as this will give the sarcasm the previously mentioned "poison".

Summing up, it should be noted that one of the synonyms of sarcasm is rather wit, and not humor, in its usual sense. If you want to understand it as well as possible, then you need to strive for this constantly. Sooner or later, the result will not keep you waiting.

The reality in Russia is such that some phenomena cannot be responded to in any other way than with humor. Therefore, the question of how to learn sarcasm is by no means an idle one. Therefore, consider how to master this simple tool against adversity. After all, you joke (albeit bitterly and gloomily) - and it’s not so sickening to live.

How to learn sarcasm?

1. Reading is the essential foundation of any ironist. Only outwardly jesters and comedians are shallow people. In fact, humor is an intellectual quality of a person. It is the mind that reveals the funny side of reality to a person, however, at the same time, the heart must close in order not to let in the horrors of life and the world. To build intellectual muscles, you need to read a lot and generally be a passionate person.

2. Watch performances by comedians. If a person really wants to be funny, then he should watch the performances of colleagues in the shop. Let the neophyte absorb what the masters do, perhaps this will help him.

3. Write down jokes and smart witticisms. Yes, there's nothing you can do. Good humor involves everyday work. MM. Zoshchenko said that when he became a professional writer, he had to record everything: jokes, jokes, plots. The basic rule here is that the best spontaneous joke is the one that is well prepared.

4. Harmony of time, place and facial expressions. The latter must be impenetrably serious for maximum effect. Let's look at the other two options. A born comedian subtly feels the mood of the audience and the atmosphere. The joke must be in place and at the right time. Thus, if all three parameters can be combined, the satirist is guaranteed success.

5. You can not repeat. There are people of the same joke. Of course, it is better not to become such. In general, what can be said about a person who in his entire life has been honored with only one sensible witticism? That's right, no good. Therefore, you need to keep notes and think over jokes if there is a suitable occasion and audience.

6. Humor should be decent and not hurt other people's feelings. This means that one should not make fun of the appearance of others, political or religious predilections.