Most of all we want love and acceptance. For their sake, we are ready for anything, and suffer when we are repulsed. We feel that we are accepted and loved when they show interest in us, consider us an interesting person.

How to become a sociable and interesting person? How to become an interesting person for others?

It seems that the simplest solution is to live such interesting life that the very story about her will be of interest, or get an interesting profession, for example, related to art or adventure. But it only seems. There are terribly boring fashion photographers, and there are bus drivers and dentists that you can listen to for hours.

What is the secret of how to become an interesting interlocutor. Experience many interesting adventures? Talk about interesting things? It matters what you talk about, how you talk?

To become interesting to others, do you need to talk more, or listen more? If you want to be social and interesting person Do you need to change yourself, or is it enough to know some tricks?

In this article I will talk about how to become an interesting conversationalist at any age.

How to become an interesting interlocutor and sociable person?

Is it possible to become a bright and interesting person if it seems that he was born a boring gray mouse? - Can!
It's not about what kind of life you have lived, but what you have learned, whether you can look under the surface of things and events and find the meaning hidden from others.

To do this, two tasks must be solved: firstly, interest in oneself must be aroused, and secondly, it must be warmed up and retained. Both of these tasks are absolutely doable and consist of understandable simple steps. You will need patience and constancy, so the first condition for becoming an interesting and sociable person is to sincerely want it.

This is important because it will take a lot of work. In addition, being an interesting conversationalist means consciously attracting attention to yourself. Will you be comfortable in the spotlight?

If the answer is yes, then let's go!

How to generate interest in yourself?

To arouse interest in yourself, you must first make sure that you are generally noticed. You can stand out in appearance, clothes, natural or artificial beauty, but we will talk about how you can stand out with your speech so that you are noticed.

Let's take a simple real-life example: think about what gets noticed the most on TV. Clips, news, talk shows? Not! Advertising.

Yes, you don't want to see her and change channels, but that's because she grabs too much attention. Otherwise, they wouldn't have done it.

What techniques make advertising so tenacious? Is it possible to use these techniques to attract the attention of others? Yes, you can!

Loudness, speed, brightness, rhythm - that's what catches.

TV channels and radio stations specifically raise the sound level in advertising, even if quiet music is playing in it: the video should stand out against the background of the program. This works at the level of biology: everything big, loud, fast and bright is perceived as important, and they pay attention to it.

If you want to be noticed, do the same: react faster, speak louder, move more, look and sound brighter. This will generate interest, which you can then keep and develop.

Speak louder to be noticed.

From our prehistoric ancestors, we learned: whoever speaks louder is the main one, he has something to say. That's how animals think, that's how people react.

Just do not shout down or interrupt anyone, but do not let others interrupt you either. Both are signs of insecurity.

And work on your voice so that you are a pleasure to listen to. An unpleasant strange sound of voice occurs as a result of muscle spasms in speech apparatus, due to psychological discomfort from the fact that they pay attention to you. Therefore, treat communication as a game, tune in to a state of calm and ease. Most people have a pleasant and natural voice when they are calm.

A person who understands his values ​​is ten times more interesting than someone who is ignorant of the motives and goals of his actions.

How understanding your own and other people's values ​​helps in life. Story.

Olga moved from Ukraine to Switzerland to work as a finance director in an international corporation.

At first, she was uncomfortable because of the topics her new compatriots talked about. After every weekend or vacation, they gave each other a detailed account of where they were, what hotel they were staying at, how much the room cost; what restaurant did they dine at and how much did the meal cost; what they bought, and again - how much they spent on purchases.

These conversations seemed empty and unnecessary to Olga, but she was worried that she could not fit into the new society. The anxiety grew until she started the Speech Transformation program.

We figured out what values ​​such communication is based on, why it is important for her new environment, and Olga, as an adult, was able to decide what to do: try to become an interesting conversationalist by adopting new values, or maintain the integrity of her personality and stay in away from other people's conversations.

Olga chose the second, now calmly realizing the reasons and the essence of what is happening.

Once you understand your values ​​and the values ​​that underpin communication in your team, you can make an informed choice: keep trying to be an interesting conversationalist in an existing company or look for a new social circle.

The tips below, if not teach, then at least give the basic base to people who want to learn how to communicate correctly.

Undoubtedly, in the ability to communicate well, a huge role is played by the ability to listen carefully to the interlocutor and correctly build the subsequent thread of the conversation based on what was heard. But also important is the ability not only to listen, but also to hear, and often it is precisely because of the lack of the latter that people never find a common language and compromise, therefore, in order to be able to communicate with people and get mutual pleasure from it, you need to give not only in their own words, but also in others.

The second side of the constructive and meaningful is the opportunity to interest the interlocutor. To do this, you need to carefully look at his appearance, gestures, tone and desire to make contact. Sometimes just one successful expression, phrase or word is enough for a person to become completely absorbed in the conversation, while a pre-prepared and carefully planned speech may not give the desired effect.

You should be very careful about your appearance when a serious and important conversation is planned, because the course and outcome of the conversation can depend on how a person can depend. To become an interesting interlocutor, you need not only to speak, but also to look accordingly. And the point here is not only in clothing, which also has a number of advantages and must be properly selected in accordance with the occasion, but also in the ability to behave and teach correctly. It is the latter that often turns out to be the cause of many unsuccessful conversations, so the main thing here is not to overdo it, but to observe the measure.

If the conversation is not of a business nature, and you communicate with your acquaintances, relatives or friends, then the correct presentation of your person is not of particular importance here, you just need to be yourself and feel the words your loved ones want to hear from you. Perhaps they feel bad and need words, or maybe vice versa - sharp attacks that could bring to life. In this case, it is better to show their importance to you than to teach anything.

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Many of us, being in a company, thought about why some people become the center of attention and adoration, others are drawn to them, while others, who are not inferior to the first either in mind or in external data, are out of work. The answer is simple, the whole point is that some people are naturally given to win over people. But this does not mean at all that these data cannot be developed! There are very simple rules, following which you will always be able to win the favor of others.

Instruction

Try to be sincere when you meet, smile at him. Try to find a reason for pleasant emotions in a meeting with anyone, even the most unpleasant for you. As a last resort, think about the fact that with such a person, you develop in yourself invaluable skills of affection for yourself! Isn't that a good reason to smile?

If your interlocutor is taciturn, but you still need to communicate with him, take the initiative in your own hands. Ask him something that he can understand better than you. If that doesn't work, strike up a conversation about something that made you happy, interested, or amused in your life. recent times. Talking about general topics, for example, about the weather, in fact, makes no sense. Such conversations usually quickly reach a dead end, which in no way contributes to the realization of our goal.

Call the interlocutor by name! Make sure you remember all the people you meet. It is very embarrassing to meet a friend, strike up a conversation, but never remember his name. And vice versa, if you call him by name, you immediately endear him to you. Given name like a special code, it makes it stand out from the rest. Remember this!

Watch your appearance, be neat! This applies not only to important business meetings. You can never predict at what time and in what place you will meet your friend, so always be prepared.

Once having talked with a person, try to take out of your conversation as much as possible more facts his biography, even if this information has no value for you personally. Keep these facts in mind, and be sure to refer to some of them the next time you meet. For example, ask about the cat's health if the last time you learned that the cat was sick. The person will have the feeling that his events are important to you.

Be confident in yourself anytime, anywhere. Confident people attract the attention of others, make themselves respected. Be like that. Let those around you feel your energy.

Sources:

• "Six Ways to Win People over", Dale Carnegie, 1998.

Many women at the beginning of a relationship with an attractive man stop almost immediately after the first meeting, because they do not know how to please the object of their attention. How to let a man know that you are interested in him? First of all, you should be a relaxed and interesting conversationalist, with whom it is easy and pleasant to have a conversation on a variety of topics. In this article, you will learn about several topics, choosing which, you will be in an advantageous position when communicating with a man.

Instruction

During a meeting or a date, start a conversation in a free and confident manner on topics that contribute to the development of your relationship and increase interest in your figure. These can be topics related to love, sex and romance, but when communicating in this vein, do not allow yourself to remember your exes, and also do not touch in conversation themes of the former of his passion.

Even if a man likes things you don't understand - like cars - be able to maintain an atmosphere of interest and friendliness.

If you have common interests and hobbies, discuss them.

Even if a man talks to you about his ex-partner, don't show a hint of irritation - show participation, joy and sympathy. This will endear you, and his warm feelings for the previous partner will go to you.

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If you managed to meet and start a conversation with a girl, then you need to immediately location. The first moments of acquaintance are the most important, it depends on them further development events. If you do not make a good impression and win over the girl, your first meeting may well be your last. Try to please her right away, but for this you need to try a little.

Instruction

First of all, the appearance. If you are wearing untidy clothes, dirty shoes, you have unwashed hair and a black border under your nails, then you will have much less chances. If you are still in this form, then you should immediately apologize for it and explain the reason for your appearance in it - returning from the dacha, a multi-day hike. Think of something romantic and associated with a courageous act. But do not fantasize too much so that you can turn it into a joke later.

Never try to impress by pretending to be someone other than who you really are. Women are subtle psychologists and very observant. Telling her that you are a successful top manager in a well-known company and using a cheap mobile phone at the same time, you will be exposed instantly, and the loss of trust can be fatal for you.

Tell us about yourself, your hobbies, who you work for, what you do on and in free time. But, her, you actually have to be an interesting person. If you tell her that after work you run home to your parents' apartment to play online games all evening, then it is unlikely that she will be imbued with location m to you, unless she herself is a fan of such a pastime.

Do not forget to notice in that you are not one of those who get to know everyone you like, mark her distinctive features, before which you could not resist and which made an indelible impression on you. Compliment her appearance and dressing skills, but do not overdo it - note those features that really take place. Use your sense of humor, if you manage to make her smile, then this is a sure sign that she already likes you.

In a conversation, find out the topics that are most interesting to her and try to stick to them, giving her the opportunity to speak. Listening, at the same time, you will learn more about her and about some of her character traits, understand her interests. Using this knowledge, you will be able to consolidate your success.

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Sources:

• Day After Night read online by Anita Diamant page 84

Who among us has not had to perform in front of a large audience? At school, at a university, at work - the ability to correctly express one's thoughts and interest listeners is valued everywhere.

Instruction

When preparing to speak to the public, think about the audience your message is addressed to. Consider the interests of your listeners when choosing style, language, content. Discovery history periodic law elements are unlikely to be of interest to fishing enthusiasts. Whereas a joke that is considered successful in the company of fishing friends is inappropriate at a serious chemical conference.

Having decided on the audience, ask yourself the question: what is the purpose of your message? Do you need to talk about something important? scientific discovery or just to entertain the audience?

Based on the goal, choose methods. Will you strictly draw up your report, laying out the stated topic in a clear, consistent plan, or will your performance be a live dialogue between you and the audience? Choose a specific style and try to stick to it throughout your post.

Set the message scope. Of course, on scientific conference information should be presented as fully and extensively as possible, but fishing enthusiasts should not be bored with a long and lengthy story about quantum theory atom.

Remember that the first 30 seconds of your speech are decisive. During this time, the viewer has time to decide for himself whether yours is interesting to him, and to form a certain attitude towards you as a speaker. The first impression is very important, think it over to the smallest detail.

Whatever your audience, no one will like it if you mumble under your breath, read from a piece of paper, or take long pauses. Rehearse your speech in advance. If necessary, plan your speech to avoid long and awkward pauses.

Illustrate your message. Bring, tell stories from life, reinforce the report with posters, presentations, visual things. Remember that it is easier for a person to remember images than words and numbers.

In cases where it is appropriate, dilute your report with humor. This will allow your listener to relax a little, feel sympathy and trust in you.

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Some people are naturally endowed with the ability to find mutual language with others to attract attention. Others were less fortunate in order to win over of people and win sympathy, they need to develop communication skills.

Instruction

Watch your appearance. Neat clothes and shoes, neatly styled hair, and the absence of a strong smell will create the first favorable impression of you.

Start any conversation with a friendly smile. Sincere joy, an open look and a friendly facial expression inspire confidence, tune in to a positive attitude towards you.

Address the person while speaking by name. Be sure to remember the names of your interlocutors correctly when you first meet.

Be interested in the affairs and interests of another person. Ask the interlocutor questions about his hobbies, leisure, pleasant stories from life, if appropriate. Try to be sincere and attentive to the words. Remember the main points of the conversation, the facts of the biography, so that the next time you do not return again to the same question. However, at the next meeting, if possible, refer to some of the circumstances from the last conversation. Let the person know that you like him and that communication with him is very important to you. Inspire that you appreciate and accept any of his opinions.

Become a good interested listener. Encourage the other person to talk about themselves. Don't interrupt the story. Periodically express your enthusiasm for his monologue with facial expressions and gestures. Ask leading questions along the way. Give the person a chance to speak.

Raise topics in a conversation that are interesting to a person, good location which you are trying to get. Usually people who are passionate about something are happy to share information about it. They will be pleased if someone appreciates their merits, hears about their achievements. And in this case, how will the listener look like nice person with whom you want to continue further communication.

Related videos

Sources:

• 25 ways to win over people

Communication is an integral part of people's lives. Therefore, it is so important to strive to ensure that any conversation brings pleasure. And it is pleasant to conduct a dialogue only on topics of interest and with good interlocutor.

Instruction

Listen carefully to your interlocutor. Delving into the essence of his phrases, you should understand what he is talking about. Periodically insert small replicas, nod, showing your participation, but do not interrupt his monologue unnecessarily. Encourage the interlocutor with phrases such as "", "continue", "yes-yes." Do not rush to express your opinion until your interlocutor finishes, do not draw final conclusions for him. Try to remember at least some of the details of your conversation, and during the next meeting, mention the details of the last conversation.

Look at who you are talking to. Be friendly and smiling. Don't get distracted while talking - don't read, don't look out the window or at your watch, don't talk on the phone.

Start the conversation with a compliment, but be sincere. Try to find common topics for conversation with the person that interest the two of you. At the same time, avoid controversial situations. For example, talking about politics, nationality, religion. Take an interest in the family affairs of the interlocutor, his success at work. But don't be overly pushy.

Pay attention to body language. Your arms should not be crossed. Stay upright, look straight ahead. Don't show your impatience. During a conversation, manage your emotions.

Don't repeat yourself. Do not tell several times the same stories from life, strangers or your own jokes.

Thank the other person at the end of the conversation. Try to leave him in a good mood so that he is satisfied with your communication and wants to meet again.

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Sources:

• Ability to listen to the interlocutor

The ability to communicate properly and achieve your goals is an art. For some, this is given without much effort, solely due to natural charisma, and someone needs to master useful skills. Remembering a few simple tips, you can quickly win over any interlocutor.

Be friendly and confident. It is not necessary to demonstrate a Hollywood smile, you can smile with your eyes alone. Radiate the vibes of sincere benevolence - and they will certainly reach the interlocutor.

When talking, your gaze should be approximately at the level of the interlocutor's eyes, but of course, the interlocutor should not be stared at.

Listen more to the interlocutor than speak yourself. Ask tactful questions if you know what is interesting and relevant for the interlocutor. If a person is not familiar to you, then it is better not to touch on personal topics. Try not to interrupt, and if necessary, be sure to apologize.

Try not to gesticulate actively, it is better to express your emotions with your eyes, light movements, and voice. How the interlocutor perceives you to a greater extent depends on the sound of your voice than on other factors. Information given in a low soft voice achieves the desired goal much more effectively than piercingly high intonations.

It is advisable to pronounce the name of the interlocutor more often - this is the most desired sound in the world for any person, but do not abuse it.

Learn interesting communication techniques: when the interlocutor finishes a phrase, you repeat the end of this phrase aloud. Try to catch the rhythm of the interlocutor's breathing and breathe with him at the same time. And one more thing: try blinking as soon as the interlocutor blinks. Practice with friends to make it look completely natural, and then you can quickly get on the same wavelength of communication with any interlocutor.

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There are many different ways to attract attention to yourself - from the banal to the outrageous. The choice of one or another of them depends on the purpose for which you want to interest a person.

You will need

• - flowers;
• - candies;
• - a surprise gift.

Instruction

If you want to earn attention young man or the girl you like, show yourself as an interesting person. At the same time, one should not forget about such character traits that have not lost their relevance, such as gallantry, good breeding, politeness, etc.

Find out about the interests of the person you like: if they are close to yours, it will not be difficult for you to start an interesting meaningful conversation. Do not be afraid to show yourself as a pro in a particular field of knowledge, but do not try to emphasize your education. Being known as a braggart and a smart-ass, you will quickly lose the desired attention. Be equal to the person.

Do not stoop to lies, do not compose various fables that embellish you and your life, so you will not attract attention for a long time. On the contrary, one day a person will understand that you are lying, and will lose all interest in you.

If you think that you have nothing to interest a person, start working on self-development. Read more educational books, find for yourself interesting hobby develop a positive outlook on the world.

Do not forget about various pleasant little things that any girl will like - flowers, sweets, etc. You can give them personally or send them through a delivery service. It may seem trite and frivolous to you, but if you are the first to show attention, you will definitely get a response.

You creative person and compose poetry or paint pictures? Make an unusual surprise gift to the person whose attention you want to attract. You can get his photograph and write a portrait on it or dedicate your lines of poetry to him. If you still do not dare to take such a frank step, give the person a book or picture you previously wrote. If you compose music, give it as a gift, if you sing professionally, make sure that you are heard - prove yourself with best sides your personality.

Do you want to earn the attention of your boss and get a pay rise? Show yourself as a talented worker, a professional in the business you are doing. Do not be afraid to express yourself by making new rationalization proposals, offering creative ideas, etc.

Remember that people usually pay attention to the strong, smart and brave. Develop these qualities in yourself, help those who need your help.

Do not try to shock the person whose attention you want to attract. Provocative clothing, cheeky behavior, rudeness - all this is more likely to provoke the opposite result.

Useful advice

Surround yourself with a certain halo of mystery, intrigue a person so that he wants to unravel you.

Tip 10: How to win over a woman: practical advice

Men who are not too lucky in their personal lives find it very difficult to please a woman. Meanwhile, this is not at all the case; practical advice from more experienced conquerors of women's hearts will help win over a pretty representative of the fair sex.

Basic rules of communication

If you want to please your new acquaintance, use her manner of communication in a conversation. If she prefers to talk in a formal style - support her, the girl flirts - accept her rules of the game. It is very important during a conversation to “mirror” the posture and intonation of a woman, to use her words - this technique inspires confidence.

Determine your lady's representational system and use that information to win her over. If a woman first of all evaluates what she hears, often uses the words “heard”, “spoke” - she belongs to the auditory type. If you want to attract such a person, you need to tell her something, invite her to concerts, etc.

A woman of the visual type, first of all, pays attention to the external parameters of objects and events, often uses the verb “I see”. She will like it if you invite her to the cinema, the museum.

In the third type of women, the kinesthetic system of perception predominates. Such ladies are guided by sensations and smells, they like massages, various pleasant procedures, touches.

Be attentive to what your woman says, ask her more about yourself. Refer to the lady by name more often - impersonal Bunnies and Pussies suggest that you have forgotten the name of the interlocutor.

Give the woman a choice: if you invite her somewhere, offer an alternative option - this way you show that you respect her and her opinion.

Arrange pleasant surprises for the lady of the heart, saying that you always remember her. For example, always bring small souvenirs to your chosen one from business trips, which will be confirmation that you missed her.

Compliments to women

The ability to make a compliment is one of the most important arts for winning a lady's heart. A real compliment should come from the heart, give a woman confidence in her attractiveness.

It is necessary to say compliments not only at a meeting, but also during a conversation. However, do not resort to praise too often, otherwise the woman will suspect flattery. Admiring the chosen one, avoid restrictions. For example, you should not say that today she is beautiful - a lady may suspect that you didn’t like something about her yesterday.

Coming up with a compliment, forget about the platitudes and clichés that have set your teeth on edge, and try to note something special in a woman. The more original and sincere your confessions are, the sooner your chosen one will feel sympathy and affection for you.

In the process of life, we meet different people, sometimes these people are angry and irritated, and sometimes they are kind and smiling. All of them are configured differently, among them there are both familiar people and completely unfamiliar people. How to learn to communicate in such a way that all acquaintances pass only positively?

There is a type of people who can only listen to other people after they have spoken. However, the best interlocutor is one who can listen and hear. Very often people are absorbed in their thoughts, they cannot perceive the speech of the interlocutor, then interest in communication is lost, the interlocutor understands that he is not interesting to you. Learn to listen carefully to your interlocutor, to delve into his thoughts, feelings, experiences. Then you can count on reciprocity. First you need to earn trust, i.e. Initially, you need to prove that you are able to support the interlocutor.

Another important skill is the ability to be compassionate. Mercy makes you human.

A very valuable quality is the desire and ability to sincerely thank a person. In gratitude for your smile, you will receive positive emotions in return. People really like to be thanked, so they themselves will want to provide a service for which you will be grateful.

The main goal of communication between people is to achieve mutual understanding. Communication should be valued. Try to choose the right words and emotions, learn to forgive other people's mistakes, be a polite and open person. Such an interlocutor is always a welcome guest.

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First, smile. A smile makes a person's face more friendly and open, transforming it. This calms the interlocutor, and he will undoubtedly treat you with more confidence.

Secondly, do not use harsh gestures when talking, as this behavior can scare the person away and turn them against you. For the same reason, closed postures, such as arms crossed, should not be used.

Thirdly, even if you are higher in status than a person, never use an imperative tone. Such speech will definitely interfere with contact, and your interlocutor will remember you as an arrogant person with whom it is impossible to build any harmonious relationship whether it be friendship, love, or a boss-subordinate relationship.

Fifth, be open. Relax and calmly state your thought, as if you have known the person all your life. Forget about all complexes. Even if something goes wrong, a person will remember it for exactly five minutes, then he will no longer be interested in remembering it.

Sixth, always make eye contact when speaking. This gesture often tells the interlocutor that you are competent in this matter.

Seventh, if you want to make contact with a person, make sure that the toes of your feet always look at him. Such a non-verbal gesture tells the interlocutor that at the moment you want or, more correctly, need to talk with him.

Thus, the competent use of speech and non-verbal gestures will allow you to succeed in communicating with the most different people. And, as you know, the location and trust of people is the key to all doors: to a promotion at work, to excellent exam grades and to family happiness.

Are you sometimes called a bore or a person behind the times? You do not know how to make the situation more interesting? If this is about you, then you just need to work on yourself to be a more pleasant person, be able to laugh at yourself and be ready for the next adventure. So you turn from a bore into the soul of the company.

Steps

Part 1

Be cheerful

1. Relax. People like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends and they are always ready to have fun. So relax and have fun with everyone.

   • Give someone a compliment to let that person know you've noticed and are thinking about them.
   • Laugh more. Show everyone your openness and ease.
   • Try to relax (as much as possible). If you are tense, then this state will be transmitted to your friends.

2. Pay attention to your friends. Look at them, put your phone away, and make them feel like they're in the spotlight. If you're confused (as if you're contemplating solving several problems at once), then it will be difficult for people to have fun with you.

   • Treat people with approval. You don't need to treat them condescendingly or judge them - in this case, people will not be frank with you.

3. Call a lot of jokes. If you're not afraid to look stupid or funny, people will have fun with you. Here are some ways to do it:

   • Parody (in a good or bad light) a person you know, such as a teacher or colleague.
   • Dance like a clown, pretending that you are the best dancer in the world.
   • Sing along your favorite and not-so-decent song.
   • Wear funny clothes.
   • Don't be afraid to tell hackneyed jokes.

4. Get ready for adventure. If you've never done something, do it now! Be spontaneous and do something new for yourself. If you are a person who thinks up fun activities, your friends will find you fun and interesting.

   • Say "yes" more often. So you will be ready to do something new for you.
   • Read the last section of this article for fun things you can do with your friends.

5. Keep a positive attitude. Everyone has bad days, but you need to focus on talking about the positive things in your life (don't show your friends and people around you that you're upset). This will create a positive atmosphere and people will be drawn to you.

   • If you catch yourself saying something negative, give two positive lines.
   • If the people around you are not in the mood, cheer them up instead of lowering yourself to their level.
   • If you're having a hard day, don't put on a fake smile on your face. However, you need to make an effort to keep a positive attitude (don't show your annoyance or think that the problems that bother you are not so important).

6. Unite people. In the company of friends, try to make sure that everyone maintains a good relationship or gets to know each other better. Unite people so that they become closer to each other.

   • Approach it subtly. If you are in the company of people who feel like they have nothing in common, arouse their mutual interest, which will lead to a connection between them.
   • If you have two friends who don't get along, say something positive about each of them; so you increase the chance that their relationship will normalize.
   • Strengthen relationships between people by offering to do something fun that everyone will be interested in (for example, go bowling). The more fun the activity you offer, the better.

7. Dance, even if you're not good at it. Whether you're dancing alone, or with a partner, or on the dance floor with friends, just dance and enjoy it.

   • Pull your hair back, sing a few lines from any song you like, and move your arms and legs to cheer the people around you.
   • Encourage people to dance with you. Get your friends who don't like to dance to come on the dance floor with you and show them how much fun it is.

8. Conquer your fears. If you are afraid of heights, clowns, dogs, or something else, take the time and energy to work on yourself and overcome your fears. You will be surprised at what you are capable of.

   • Agree with almost all offers to do something new. If your artist friend or avid hiker suggests you paint something or go camping, be sure to agree, as this is new to you.
   • Next time at a party or in a company, find a person who has little in common with you. Be sure to get to know this person to learn something new from him.
   • If a host or artist calls for a volunteer on a show, don't be afraid to raise your hand. Sing and dance at the concert of your favorite artist. Wear breathtaking outfits that cheer you up. Sing your favorite song at karaoke, even if you don't have an ear for music. Throw a fun themed party. In a word - have fun!

• Be honest and keep your promises. This will give you a reputation for being reliable and make it easier for people to be open with you.
• Treat people the way you would like them to treat you.
• If you are one of those people who finds it difficult to keep up a conversation, make a list of topics that you could discuss with your interlocutor, and when there is a moment of awkward silence, start discussing this topic. You can always find interesting topic for a conversation.
• Always seek knowledge. With a good store of knowledge, you can become witty.
• Avoid gossip or spreading rumors. This will not help you, but rather ruin your reputation as a reliable and cheerful person. It will be difficult for people to relax in your presence if they know that you are spreading rumors behind their backs.
• Laugh with your friends and other people, not over them.
• Define your limits. Sit alone for a while to catch your breath and rejuvenate. Also, let others know that you have boundaries that should not be crossed.
• Smile a lot and love the people around you. Don't judge others because you don't know what they've been through.

Warnings

• Cherish your relationship with your friends, because they are the best thing you have.
• Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. You can laugh at yourself. Despite mistakes and failures, be happy.
• Sometimes there is no need for fun. Everything has its time. If your friend needs support and is going through a difficult period, you should be ready to help. Also show your parents that you deserve more freedom and they can trust you. Show yourself as a responsible and reliable person.
• If you have a close relationship with someone, you may be more open. But if you've just met someone, be polite.
• Your jokes should be appropriate and should not hurt anyone, including you.
• Do not try force people think that you are a fun and interesting person. It won't show you well.

Hello dear friend!
In today's article, I would like to write about how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl or a man. This article will be useful primarily to those who feel that they have communication problems. After reading this information, I'm just sure that your friends and acquaintances will be much more pleasant to communicate with you.

Have you ever had situations where you communicate with a person, but something is wrong with him. It seems that the communication is going well, but somehow it’s not comfortable inside, and I want to end the communication with him as soon as possible. Such people make many communication mistakes, which I will write about below, and, as a rule, this leads to the fact that they do not have a girlfriend, normal friends, and even a job. They are simply losers in life, primarily due to the fact that they do not know how to communicate correctly.

There are other people with whom, on the contrary, it is very pleasant to talk. They seem to be attracted by a magnet, you want to listen to them and just be with them. Such people are often successful in life. They usually have a girlfriend, many friends and a favorite job. Now I will try to write down the basic rules that you need to apply in order to become an interesting conversationalist.

1) Tell interesting stories.
It is this point that I consider the most important. More than anything, people love to listen to real, interesting stories. And when you tell them, you give your energy to others and do not demand anything from them in return. Learn to simply talk about something interesting that happened to you, or something that struck you. If you learn to tell stories, then your acquaintances, friends, and, of course, beautiful girls will want to be with you all the time.

2) Joke.
When you joke, you give the interlocutor a positive mood. It will be very easy and pleasant to communicate with you then. Look - a person goes to himself and is sad, and then - he meets you, and you cheer him up, and also tell pleasant stories. Do you think this person would want to meet you again? Of course yes. A good joke and a pleasant story are the magnet that will attract others to you.

3) Give compliments.
For each person it is very important what others think of him. This desire for approval is present within each of us. When we walk down the street, we don't give a damn about the people we meet along the way, but we don't give a damn what those people think of us. We want to be seen as smart, beautiful and successful. It was, is and always will be.

If it is so important for the person with whom you communicate that you think well of him, then give him a compliment. Find what stands out in him and tell him about it. A compliment is the most pleasant word for each of us, remember this. Even if he does not react to him in any way, then inside - he will remember you and your warmest word about him for a long time.

4) Listen.
When a story is told to you, be able to listen to it. A person feels when you listen to him, and when you just pretend that you are interested. If he realizes that you don’t give a damn about what you tell him, then believe me, he will no longer want to communicate with you and, moreover, tell something. When the person has finished his story, ask him something else, for example: “What happened next?”, “Why did this happen?”. This will show that you were interested, and you would gladly continue to listen to him further.

5) Don't interrupt.
Very often there is such a situation that a person starts talking about something, and then you remember your story and start telling it. In no case should you do this, this indicates that you do not respect your interlocutor. If you remember any story, then it is very good, but tell it better when your friend stops talking.

6) Don't ask too many questions.
You can ask questions only when there is nothing more to say, or at the end, after the person has finished his story, in order to clarify something with him. In all other cases, questions work poorly. When you ask a question, it is as if you are pulling his energy from a person. He needs to strain his brains and think in order to answer you. And if these questions go one after another, then it's just awful. Remember, the interlocutor is much more comfortable listening to your interesting story than answering stupid questions.

7) Do not criticize.
If a person has done something wrong, you don’t need to say to him: “You are stupid”, “You are bad”. Remember to crave approval. If you criticize the interlocutor in the presence of other people, then he will not want to talk to you, he will simply say to himself: “How I hate you.” If you are one of those people who loves to criticize others very much, then remember, this is one of the reasons why you have so few friends.

8) Do not brag.
Sometimes it is very pleasant to communicate with a person, he tells interesting stories, but all these stories come down to the fact that he wants to praise himself: “I bought a car”, “I bought a house”, “Look how smart I am”. Just me, me, me! From the outside it looks very funny and, frankly, a little annoying. If you bought yourself a new car, then sooner or later everyone will know about it, but it’s very bad to show off directly.

9) Train your voice.
Sometimes on the Internet you can read this phrase: "It doesn't matter what you say, it's important how you do it." And indeed, when talking, your words mean little, the very voice, look, facial expressions and gestures are very important. You need to train your voice and there are a lot of different exercises on the Internet that will help you improve your speech. About this I.

10) Communicate.
This is very important point. When you communicate with new people, you will get practice. Believe me, you will never learn how to communicate well near a computer, even if you read 100 books. Yes, you will gain knowledge, but this knowledge means nothing if it is not put into practice. Therefore, right today, try to use at least some of the rules from this article in practice, this is very important.

There is a lot of general advice on this subject. So general that each item needs instructions. For example:

• find common topics for conversation with her;
• listen to her, ask questions;
• be self-confident;
• be original;

But it comes down to specifics: you have a date with a girl. And it is not clear how to prepare for this date? Maybe something to read, watch, remember? Where to start communication? But what if there is an awkward pause in the conversation?

We men love it so much when there is a plan of action. We plan a working day, keep a calendar of meetings, write out abstracts if there is an important presentation or negotiations ahead. But for dates - the approach is somehow different. We just buy a bouquet of flowers, take a lady to an expensive restaurant and ... the result is zero. And it would be worth spending half an hour to think about what to talk about in this restaurant. The effect of such training is much greater.

What to talk about with her? First I'll tell how you have to communicate. Need:

a) Tell interesting stories...

b) ... periodically asking her questions ...

c) ... in order to engage her in a dialogue ...

d) ... and then just manage your conversation.

Here it is - the formula for success. So you easily fill painful pauses interesting stories, switch attention to it, asking questions, and transfer the conversation to the topics you need.

So, the first skill for successful communication is the ability to tell stories. Your preparation for a date will begin with the preparation topics for these stories. Let's do a little exercise. Take paper and pencil. Write:

• 3 books that have impressed you the most lately and why;
• 3 movies you liked the most Last year and why;
• 3 places in the world that you remember the most and why;
• 3 interesting cases from your life over the past month (you can observe situations that you observed).

Write in that order. If you don't have favorite books, movies, places, and nothing interesting happens to you... Uh... buddy, sorry, no wonder you don't have a girlfriend. Why does she need such a bore? What should she do with you?

Ok, we warmed up, at the output we got a list of topics for stories. Now you need to prepare the story itself. To do this, let's go back to grade 7 and remember how to write an essay. Before writing it, it is worth making a plan, highlighting introduction,main part, climax and interchange.

A good story contains all four of these parts. Plus full of details and emotions. Take now any topic from your own list and make 4 tablets:

Introduction

Main part

climax

denouement

Now fill in all these four tablets in thesis, so that there is an outline for the story. Boring? Lazy? I know. That is why the men get off with a bouquet of flowers and an expensive restaurant. So that dinner and a "broom" brighten up the girl's unbearably boring evening.

After you have written a story in this format, try to tell it. Then the second, third ... you will be surprised, but if you do this regularly, then very soon you will always have 5-10 great stories in stock that are relevant in any company. And on a date too.

Stories are stories, but you need to take into account a couple of important points that will help not only make the conversation interesting, but also remove tension in communication (which is no less important than communication itself).

That's why…

Let her open up to you!

Many people are afraid to openly talk about what happened to them. Someone is ashamed, and someone is simply afraid that his story will not be as interesting as we would like.

Therefore, when you have a first date, the girl may be as shy of you as you are of her. Moreover, upbringing will not allow her to entertain you more than you entertain her. So you have to take the rap for two, trying to somehow talk her. :)

But you can relieve this tension from her, allowing her to open up to you and begin to communicate more actively (she will be grateful to you later for this).

A good way to liberate a girl is to start talking about something first.. If you share a story from your life with her, then it will be easier for her to answer you in the same way (the principle of “returning kindness for kindness” will work here).

Finally, when she has begun to tell you something, it is advisable to ask clarifying questions that will help her tell you more details.

And sometimes you can just emotionally ask: “Yes, okay?”, “Seriously?”, Showing a strong interest in her story.

Keep using the tit-for-tat principle by sharing your stories with her. So she will have more desire to tell something in response.

Take her to another reality

Sometimes you can even dream! Why not?

You just need to dream correctly, involving the girl in an alternative reality.

How to do it?

It is enough just to ask her any question from the topic around which you will build your joint alternative reality. For example: " Are you jealous? Imagine that some girls would constantly call me. Would it piss you off?».

And after her answer, continue: “ Imagine, we are at home in the evening, and someone constantly writes to me. I say you don't have to worry, they're just groupies, but you're still nervous. Then you go to the kitchen and start breaking dishes. Then we make up and make love on the remains of this dish. Then together we beat the dishes and again put up right on this dish ...».

You can use a less explicit alternate reality: " Would you like to live on a desert island?". And after her reply: Imagine how you and I would run along the beach, get food, drink rum. I would climb palm trees for coconuts and hunt birds. And you would roast these birds on a fire ...».

When you dream with her In a similar way, then it binds you more strongly than if you had 10 mediocre dates.

A couple of tips for good communication

When you communicate with her and tell any stories, then do not look at her in fear and uncertainty. Your eyes should radiate confidence that your story is the best in the world.

If you are afraid that she will not appreciate what you are saying, then this will be evident from your reaction.- you will look at her frightened, as if afraid that she will not start a conversation. Try to hide these manifestations of your behavior.

It is equally important that you sit on the side of her, and not opposite. First, when you are sitting opposite, there is a strong barrier between you in the form of a table. Secondly, communication with a girl implies at least some touches that can only be made while sitting on the side of her.

Try to speak confidently. Especially when you take her to an alternate reality. You will still say it - so why not immediately do it confidently? If you start to mumble or your voice trembles, she will immediately feel that all your words are unnatural for you.

All these rules are simple and, at the same time, very effective. Especially try to pay attention to the first paragraph of this article. After doing this at least 5 times, you will learn to communicate emotionally automatically, without even thinking about what exactly you are saying.