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Charisma is the exclusivity of a person in an intellectual, spiritual or some other way, the ability to appeal to hearts, personal attraction. We often see charisma as a rare quality bestowed only on the lucky ones, the special people who get high-paying jobs and positions of responsibility. These are politicians, executives, actors and talk show hosts. But is it? Let's try to figure it out.

Charisma can be formed already in childhood, or it can develop throughout life. It does not depend on the profession. An actor, a doctor, a builder can be charismatic. Often such people take positions because others listen to them and are ready to follow them. Charisma does not depend on the moral and ethical side either. Hitler and Mahatma Gandhi fully possessed this skill.

This article aims to show how to develop charisma. This does not mean that you can learn to call it artificially whenever you want. These are the qualities and traits that you need to sow in yourself forever, adhering to the principles that form it until the end of your life.

Principles of a charismatic person

Principles of charisma:

1. Act confidently.
2. Constantly develop as a person.
3. Raise .
4. To study the psychology of influence on a person.

Are you difficult to call charismatic? The situation can be changed. But this can take months or even years. That is why there are few such people and humanity admires them. However, you can learn to influence the immediate environment - it will take much less time.

Elements of charisma

Charisma is a collection of complex and intricate social and emotional skills. It allows people to influence others on a deep emotional level, communicate effectively with them, and create strong interpersonal bonds.

Charisma is made up of several elements:

Emotional expressiveness. Charismatic people express their feelings spontaneously and sincerely. This allows them to influence the mood and emotions of others. We all know charismatic people who seem to "light up the room" when they walk into it.

Emotional sensitivity. This is the ability to read other people's emotions, which allows a charismatic person to create an emotional connection. Bill Clinton was said to "make a person feel like you are only person in the room".

emotional control. Truly charismatic people have the ability to control and regulate their emotional manifestations. They do not lose face and always feel when they are at the limit, competently dispelling stress. They are good emotional actors who can turn on the charm when needed.

social expressiveness. This is verbal communication and the ability to involve others in social interaction. Charismatic people are experienced conversationalists who know how to entertain. They certainly influence us with their emotional expressiveness, but there is also power in their words. Almost all charismatics are effective public speakers.

social sensitivity. It is the ability to read and interpret social situations, to be able to listen to others, to be in harmony with them, and to be "here and now". A charismatic person is tactful and sensitive to his surroundings.

social control. This is a complex social role-playing skill that is especially important for leaders. This is evident from the fact that outstanding leaders (and everyday "charismatics") present themselves with poise and grace. This allows them to fit into all sorts of situations and create those emotional and social bonds that distinguish them from those of us who have less of it.

These six building blocks must be strong enough. The lack of one is unlikely to compensate for the surplus of the other. For example, if you are emotionally expressive during a conversation, but are not able to establish social control, it is difficult to influence a person and make him want to believe you.

How to develop charisma

We have already mentioned that charisma develops from within and without. Of course, the most important thing is what comes from the soul, from the character. But also mentioned social factors, the so-called social intelligence quotient. If you really are a strong, charismatic, self-confident person, then this does not mean that you will be perceived that way. It is important to demonstrate this through external means.

Be in a conscious state

From a person, you can immediately tell when he is in his thoughts or confused and when he is in a conscious state.

When we reach maturity, we are often in a state of partial attention. We do not fully pay attention to the interlocutor, our child, body language, to the world around us.

To start developing charisma, you need to learn how to be aware most of the time.

There are many practices to help with this. One of them is to focus on your breathing. Wherever you are, feel the air entering your nose and being filtered in your lungs. Now listen to the sensations as you exhale. As the last breath of air leaves the lungs, notice the sensation of relaxation in the muscles, down to the fingers and toes.

The second practice is eye contact with the interlocutor. Often we think that we are looking at the interlocutor, but in fact we are peering into the “common eye area”. Take a few seconds to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. What color are they? Are they dark brown or greenish brown? Of course, you should not take the situation to extremes, otherwise it will look creepy. But warm, friendly eye contact lets the person know that you are here and now and interested in what they are saying.

In many cases, your body language shows an obvious lack of interest. For example, the shoulders can be turned to the other side. This instantly makes it clear to the interlocutor that you are not involved in the conversation. Therefore, turn your body and face to him, look into his eyes and listen.

If you don't really understand what it means conscious state then be vigilant and observant. Study the situation in the room, all the interlocutors, your own and their body language. This alone will do you good.

Always pay attention to how you talk

The fact is that ordinary people do not think at all about what they say. They pronounce formulaic phrases, do not understand how this or that word will affect the interlocutor.

So always take a few moments to think about what to say. It's simple: charismatic people use powerful, thoughtful words. They build sentences based on the impact they will have on the interlocutor. Remember the beginning of The Godfather, when every word of Marlon Brando made the hearts of both the characters and the audience skip a beat.

Remember the name of the person you are talking to. Not only is this a psychologically correct move, it also goes back to the first tip about mindfulness. When you try to remember a name, you automatically come out of unconsciousness and turn on your vigilance.

And one more thing: always introduce yourself first. Don't wait to be introduced or spotted.

Pay attention to body language

Like it or not, people unconsciously read body movement and facial expressions when you approach or interact with them.

This means that if you are genuinely happy and optimistic, show it with your body language. Charismatic people communicate their mood to others. But if the mood is bad, hide the extreme manifestations. You don’t need to suppress it in yourself, but you should at least not spoil the mood of others.

The so-called strong postures demonstrate that you are confident and ready to lead people. It really works, although it is difficult to force yourself to enter a new state.

This is the next paragraph.

Learn to introduce yourself to new states

What does an ordinary person do when he feels bad? He whines, gets irritated and has an irresistible desire to spoil the mood of others. What does an ordinary person do when bad luck happens to him? He blames others to numb the pain.

A charismatic person knows how to deliberately introduce himself into new states. This means that if now need be self-confident, and he is completely broken, then in a few minutes he will force the necessary mood in himself.

If his mood was spoiled, but now he needs to radiate optimism, he will change his condition. Charismatic people know how to work with internal states. They know how to “wind up” themselves: they know the tricks that allow you to feel exactly what is needed now. Whereas ordinary people believe that they have every right to be offended and react as they see fit.

Psychologists disagree: some say that you can not change your condition; others advise to immediately get out of the negative. We support the second opinion and believe that being depressed is a habit. And you need to make a conscious effort to get out of it.

Suppose your relatives irritated you in the morning, you were insulted on the way to work, and your boss drove a roller in the office. Your mood is below the baseboard and it will only improve if a salary comes, a colleague laughs, or an inspiring movie influences. That is, you do not conduct any work with your state. There is no merit in improving your mood. This means that there is no personal growth.

Tony Robbins is a master of changing states. Read his books, watch YouTube workshops, and see how he does it with other people. It will help you look at yourself from a completely different perspective. If you feel bad, you do not have to stay in this state for a long time. It can be changed in a few minutes. Life is too short to waste it in a bad mood.

Charismatic people, as already mentioned, know how to work with states. Therefore, they become leaders: they will be strong even during the most difficult periods, because they have eliminated lack of will. Learn to do it too.

Remember

A charismatic person remembers almost everything. He does this in order to use the information to influence others. Pass ours: it will not only allow you to remember more, but will also significantly advance your charisma.

Develop assertiveness

How does an ordinary person react to a situation where his rights have been infringed? He becomes aggressive and irritable. After several unsuccessful attempts, passivity develops in him, acquired helplessness. In communication, as in other areas of life, golden mean. And it's called assertiveness.

Assertiveness is the ability of a person not to depend on external influences and assessments, independently regulate their own behavior and be responsible for it. If to speak in simple words, then an assertive person is one whose behavior is in the golden mean between passivity and aggression, two extremes when communicating with people. The charismatic possesses it to perfection.

Remember that you have the right to:

• Express feelings.
• Express opinions and beliefs.
• Say yes or no.
• Ask for something.
• Make mistakes.
• Set priorities.
• Set boundaries.

Learn to listen and respect the interlocutor

A true charismatic leader is not one who can speak persuasively. This is not enough. You still need to be able to listen.

Respect is shown in an attempt to understand the opposite point of view. You may not agree with her, but listen to her.

Also follow two simple rules. Rule one: think for two seconds before answering. When you listen, don't try to figure out how you will react to what is said - in this case, you will stop noticing the essence of the interlocutor's words.

Rule two: while the interlocutor is talking, do not look for examples from your own life. For example, if a person talks about his dog, you should not remember your dog in order to talk about it. Think about how to develop the topic, what questions to ask to get the person to share their story further.

Ask questions

Everything is always clear to an ordinary person: he understands politics, economics and space flights. A charismatic person knows that he knows nothing. Therefore, he asks questions.

We are afraid to ask questions because we don't want to appear stupid and ignorant. And so we live days, months and years without learning anything. But the more questions, the more new answers and points of view.

Ask open questions requiring detailed answers. It is especially important that they relate to the current topic. Trust and respect are manifested precisely in situations where you are sincerely interested in the opinion of the interlocutor.

Be humble

It would be a mistake to think that charismatic people are self-confident and omniscient. No, they are rather modest, and are ready to accept both criticism and praise.

If you've been praised, don't turn up your nose too much, but don't toss the compliment back like a hot potato either. Thank you and say that other people helped you as well.

Books

As mentioned at the beginning of the article, the formation of charisma is very long haul. Therefore, you need to feed yourself with knowledge from a wide variety of literature so as not to give up. Here are some books to get you started.

• "Awaken the giant in you" Anthony Robbins.
• The Book of Self-Power by Anthony Robbins.
• "Giant Steps to Big Change" by Anthony Robbins.
• "Lead the people behind you" David Novak.
• "Charisma. The Art of Successful Communication" Allan Pease, Barbara Pease.
• "Conquest South Pole. Race of Leaders Roland Huntford.
• “Turning on the charm according to the methods of the special services” Jack Schafer.

And a short video about the development of charisma at the end:

We wish you good luck in the development of charisma!

Increasingly, the incomprehensible word “charisma” sounds on TV screens. What is this quality of a person, how will it be expressed and can it be brought up in oneself? The concept of charisma will mean a certain trait of behavior and quality of a person that attracts the attention and views of other people to him. A charismatic person will easily “envelop” his interlocutor with an incredible veil of combination of hypnotic power and interest. Such a person can sometimes attract attention even without words, only by his behavior, gesture or look. This is a trait that will easily make any man or woman stand out from the crowd. But how do you know if you have charisma? And if not, can it be developed?

What a charismatic person

How can you tell if you are a charismatic person? To answer this question, there are a large number of tests both on the Internet, as well as in books and magazines. But the rest is to study those qualities of a person that are described below. If you answer yes to most of them, then you urgently need to ask yourself how to develop charisma.

• It is convenient for you to go with the flow, you do not like to stand out from the crowd.
• It is quite difficult to keep attention to yourself during a conversation in a company.
• A difficult task for you will be a conversation with a person and an attempt to interest him.
• During a conversation, you are clamped, do not look into your eyes, do not smile.
• You constantly suppress your emotions and try not to show them in public.
• You are an insecure person, and you do not hide it much.

If at least half of these questions you answered in the affirmative, then you need to look for methods and ways to work out the emergence of charisma in you. Can it be done? Actually yes, you can follow simple rules below to get the first noticeable results.

Gnawing on the granite of science

1. You need to constantly look for the positive around you. Do not focus on such points as brightly negative criticism of people, economic and political situations in the world. You need to focus as much as possible on those moments that allow you to smile more often and not be afraid to live the way you want.
2. Confidence should be manifested in the voice, actions, deeds. Usually a charismatic person expresses his thoughts very evenly and clearly, while his voice does not even change. However, less interesting conversation it doesn't work with him. Here, for practicing, recording your speech on a voice recorder will help a lot.
3. It is important not to try to seem confident, but to actually be. In this case, it is necessary to emphasize one's merits, minimize visible shortcomings, resort to changing the style in clothes, behavior, and gestures of vivid facial expressions in conversation.

You can associate charismatic people with special representatives of humanity - these are the rays of the sun that can simply by their presence improve the mood of other people several times. Often they not only show how good they are, but also from the bottom of their hearts are interested in the people around them.

To develop these skills, you need:

• Feel on par with the interlocutor. In no case do not show your superiority over others.
• Compliments. Not only girls, but all people love with their ears. If you often talk about some special feature of a person or say his name often, this is the right strategy for achieving success.
• Learn not to listen, but to hear. Minimize the story about yourself and listen more about the person. Show interest in the conversation not only by constant nods, but also by verbal agreement with the speaker. This does not apply to those moments where your interests are at odds.
• Interest should not be replaced by curiosity. Do not try to "get" into a person's soul. Usually, charismatic people will be told everything by their acquaintances.
• They are usually surrounded by real positive energy. negative thinking people cannot a priori be charismatic. This will immediately give out and extinguish that natural fire that could be seen in the soul.

Meet by clothes

The main feature of charismatic people is wit and activity. Here it is important not only to be able to insert a joke in time, but even to make fun of yourself. In this case, a joke on another person will not seem harsh enough to him, and accordingly there will be no resentment. How to develop such qualities?

1. Learn to laugh at yourself as well as at other people. These jokes should be harmless, in no case should one make fun of the obvious shortcomings of a person or some of his distinctive features, because of which he has a complex.
2. It's great if you can easily adapt and feel comfortable among a large number of people. Charismatic people are not afraid of the crowd, and can easily match any interlocutor.
3. By no means are charismatics trying to be funny. They are not like that even if they “poison” fables over themselves. A person will only draw attention to his person, but it will not seem funny.
4. Read more books and stay tuned. This can always be applied in a conversation, especially with an educated and interesting person always a pleasure to chat. Here you can touch on the versatile development of your personality, but in no case should you boast of your knowledge.
5. Always think before you speak and know how to properly control your emotions. This does not mean that you should not express your thoughts and emotional condition but everything has its limits.
6. Sign up for acting classes or read as many books as possible in this direction. This is a great option for developing natural charisma, which is very rare in the real world. You can easily transform from one image to another without harming yourself. In parallel, this will help you easily show your mood and emotions without fear of offending other people or being misunderstood.
7. Select charismatic people among your acquaintances, follow their behavior, movements, conversation, gestures, facial expressions, mannerisms, gaze. The best way to improve is to look at how other people perform similar actions. After that, you can choose the qualities and features that are important to you.

Is charisma different for women and men?

Partly. After all, a charismatic girl remains feminine and attractive in any situation. Charisma will give a woman the quality that many men call "light." A charismatic man can be brutal. Such a representative of the stronger sex will be in the spotlight thanks to his vivid stories or jokes. Charisma is simply necessary for a man in order to attract the attention of a female. But the advice for achieving this quality for men and women will be almost the same. So you can just get acquainted with their list and you can start processing the skills that we discussed above.

The secret of the charm of charismatic people is difficult to reveal. Getting into the sphere of attraction of such a person, we forget that we need to figure out why we want to listen, observe and enjoy communication. How to develop charisma and is it possible.

To be successful, you have to be charming. Charm is manifested in everything and in nothing at the same time - in the energy emanating from you, in your look, gait, physique, the sound of your voice, graceful. It is not at all necessary to be recognized as handsome or beautiful, the main thing is to have personal charm.

What is charisma

Everyone among friends, acquaintances or relatives probably has people with whom it is easy and pleasant to communicate. They seem to emit rays of light, and next to them we feel smarter and better. There are always a lot of people around them, attracted by their personal charm, inner spark, zest - their charisma.

Translated from Greek word"charisma" means "anointing". In charismatics, they called people with special attractiveness, in particular the goddesses of beauty. Nowadays, when we talk about a person that he has charisma, we mean his attraction to others. Such people often become leaders in any team.

In turn, charismatic individuals are able to make a strong impression and great influence on others, because they are unconditionally trusted and ready to follow them. Moreover, people with charisma are far from always positive personalities, carrying bright ideas, and they may not differ in intelligence and beauty. Equally, they can be both almost saints and criminals. For example, the same Hitler is among the well-known charismatic criminals.

Often people have the qualities of a charismatic personality by nature. Many are familiar with kindergarten ringleaders-leaders who, at such a young age, stood out among other children and enjoyed authority over them (sometimes persuading everyone to break a quiet hour or run away outside the kindergarten).

Is it possible to become charismatic

At the same time, if desired, charisma can be developed. After all, it is easier for a person who is able to charm other people to make a career and achieve the desired results in any endeavor than to be closed and unfriendly.

By the way, it also happens that the charisma of a child is "crushed" by parents - from the "best" motives. They want the child to be obedient first of all and believe that they know best what he needs. As a result, the parents themselves choose the occupation for him. Neglecting his desires, talents and inclinations, they extinguish the light in his eyes. Note that charisma consists of two parts. The first is the external impression that a person makes on others. And the second is his inner self-perception. In a charismatic person, both parts must correspond to each other.

If we think we are beautiful, smart and talented, but people do not notice (because our opinion of ourselves is too high), then we risk being branded as an “unrecognized star”. The other extreme is also familiar to everyone: a person is smart and talented, but his opinion of himself is underestimated: he is not confident in himself, considers himself a gray mouse and is afraid to be seen. Both types of personality cannot become charismatic, because the external impression they make and their own internal sensations do not match.

Thus, becoming charismatic is not easy - it will take a lot of time. However, it is possible.

How to develop charisma

The antipodes of charismatics are narrow-minded people, with a poor and uninteresting inner world and weak energy. So, you need to constantly work on your spiritual and intellectual development over the elimination of negative qualities and the formation of virtues.

1. Become an interesting person

In order to win people over, to draw their attention to ourselves and keep it, we must have something to say and how to interest. And for this, versatile, well-read and able to keep up the conversation. The scope of our interests should be wide enough so that we can talk to different people on various topics: politics and history, culture and science, etc.

As he wrote about Eugene Onegin:

"He had a happy talent / Without compulsion in conversation / To touch everything lightly ...".

2. Sometimes it's better to remain silent

Do not forget the golden rule: "It is better to be reasonably silent than to speak stupidly." If we have nothing to say, then it is better to remain silent so as not to be branded as a windbag or balabolka. Secondly, it is worth thinking about the consequences of our words. And thirdly, by talking incessantly, we risk getting bored. Sometimes a short thought is more impressive than a lengthy argument. The same Pushkin wrote that you need to be able to "...keep silent in an important dispute ...".

People who have a sense of humor and know how to joke attract others because they infect them with a good mood. Someone remarked: “We try not to lose our sense of humor, because without it we will be lost.”

Of course, wit is an innate quality. But learning to joke is also possible. At the same time, it is important to feel the fine line between a harmless joke and "black humor". An untimely or inappropriate joke can turn people against you and make enemies. Pythagoras noted: "A joke, like salt, should be used with moderation."

In addition, in order to make fun of others, you need to be able to make fun of yourself. As one of the greats said, "In order to be funny wit, you need to have at least some glimpses of humor in relation to yourself." In wit, you need to observe the measure: you should not try too hard to be funny and pour jokes without interruption, because this is annoying and annoying. Here, too, quality is important, not quantity.

Before you start joking out loud (in the absence of such a skill), you first need to learn to see the funny and try to formulate a thought to yourself. A joke can be prepared in advance, remembering, for example, a quote you like from a book or hearing someone else's, and use it in a suitable situation.

5. Be able to listen to other people

Charismatic people are attentive listeners. They treat others as if they are special. And people open up to those who are able to tune in with them on the same wavelength.

Charismatic will find mutual language with a person of any age and social class, without putting himself above or below. Without excessive importunity and curiosity, he will touch on topics that they would like to talk about, inspire disposition and trust, showing that he values ​​\u200b\u200btheir opinion.

Do not interrupt the interlocutor in impatience to express your thoughts or soar in the clouds, thinking about your own. We will win over a person more if from time to time we address him by name and express our attention with nods of agreement or brief remarks. It would be useful to say a compliment - surely our interlocutor deserves it, and, as they say, "a kind word is also pleasant for a cat."

6. Develop self-confidence

Confident people tend to be positive, which is what attracts others. They love themselves, they like what they do and how they look. People with negative energy are always dissatisfied, prone to criticism and grumbling, they repel, because it’s scary to get negative from them.

If we need to reconsider our own attitude towards ourselves: we must first of all see positive sides life, the dignity of his character and appearance, and not focus on the shortcomings. You need to fight shortcomings, and not cultivate them in yourself, raising them to a cult.

7. Develop charisma through body language

Our body language will tell us about our shyness and indecision, because insecure people are given out by their appearance, facial expressions, and gestures. Confident gait, straight posture, ease, lack of nervousness, eye contact - these qualities are characteristic of people with charisma. It is worth observing ourselves from the outside in order to understand how far we are from the ideal.

Also, don't forget to smile. A smile is conducive to itself, shows our goodwill - it costs nothing, but it gives a lot. As Baron Munchausen said: "Smile, gentlemen ... All stupid things on Earth are done with a serious expression on your face."