Family relationships
Lack of knowledge on how to behave correctly in certain situations, misunderstanding of the differences between male and female nature, ignoring the characteristics of the male and female psyche, ignorance and failure to fulfill the duties of a husband and wife - all this can create big problems in family relationships, which often happens in modern families.
Vedic and modern culture of family relations
As you already understood, the material is taken from the ancient wisdom - the Vedas, or rather, from the lectures of O.G. Torsunov and some other Vedic authors. This article only general information, short review important points that you can study in detail by listening to the seminar "Family Relations" ...
(fragment continued below - Yu.K.)
audio Yuri Kosagovsky - SPOUSE CONFLICT* Muzeum Rondizm TV
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT UNDERSTAND IN CONFLICTS
today we will do as we did in your childhood and tomorrow we will do as in my childhood
it is important to understand that the other side that is arguing with you
says everything sincerely and for her all this is important
why?
because as a child the child saw
that this is how (!) they act in a similar situation
and the rejection seems unacceptable
and dangerous for development ...
at the same time in your childhood everything was different
and you perceive just as sharply the inadmissibility
act differently than in your childhood
that's the whole situation
- what else is impossible to do!?
and both are right...
exit?
there is only one way out so that no one suffers
and did not consider his life ruined
- agree to take turns
today as in your childhood and tomorrow as in mine
- this is important for the child:
he learns a variety of behaviors
and will be armed more than if he was raised by one parent
- he will have options how to act ...
(in a difficult situation)
=========
continuation
It should be understood that there is a huge difference between the modern and ancient Vedic culture of family or marriage relations, and now this culture has been largely lost, which leads to family problems and conflicts. The inability to deal effectively with emerging problems and conflicts is another indicator of the loss (absence) of knowledge and wisdom.
How to choose the right partner to start a family
Choosing the right future husband or wife is the most important thing to do before marriage. If we choose a person who is incompatible with us, we will experience disappointment and suffering. In modern life, in many cases, the question of choice is not even worth it - both fell in love and got married. There is no reasonable approach to this matter; there is an approach based on feelings, and after some time comes the understanding that these feelings, it turns out, are fleeting. Awareness of incompatibility comes after the beginning of a life together, when love disappears.
It would be wise to check compatibility before the beginning of a relationship, and in any case - until the decision to marry or get married.
Astrological compatibility you can try to study on your own, but it is better if you have a good astrologer with extensive experience, especially if he specializes in Vedic astrology, and does not engage in consumer goods.
It also plays a very important role compatibility in mental centers(chakras), as detailed in the above lectures. Apparently, most of the relationships of the modern degrading world are built on the harmony of the lower centers, which basically means compatibility at the level of sex, etc., while all other compatibility is ignored to one degree or another, which automatically excludes the real happiness of family relationships.
Features of the male and female psyche
It must be understood that the male nature is strikingly different from the female; female and male psyche are different things. Due to misunderstanding of this, many conflicts and problems arise in family relationships. Women cannot understand men, men cannot understand women - because they have a different nature. Therefore, sometimes they tend to expect the impossible from each other.
In fact, these two natures - male and female - must complement each other, balance and harmonize. If there is no harmony in the relationship, then either there is a strong incompatibility (and then it is better to leave), or one of the spouses (or both) does not understand their own nature and the nature of the spouse, and there is also no understanding and / or fulfillment of their responsibilities, which will be discussed later.
Marriage and the development of family relationships
Marriage is a very serious matter, more serious for a woman than for a man, and this point should be taken into account by future spouses.
Prosperous and harmonious development of relations depends on each of the spouses - on their knowledge and fulfillment of their duties, initially determined by nature itself. Relationships cannot develop on their own - they need to be built with efforts from both sides. When this stops, the relationship falls apart.
Duties of Husband and Wife
The Vedic texts describe the duties of a husband and the duties of a wife, which are clearly demarcated. It's like an instruction to follow reasonable, because it allows you to build harmonious family relationships, avoiding unnecessary conflicts and problems. Ignorance or failure to perform their duties necessarily causes trouble, which can be resolved by returning to the performance of their own duties.
Features of modern family relations
Since we live in an era of degradation, few people know their duties in family relationships in full, and they are often confused - the wife does what the husband should do by nature, and the husband does what the wife should do. And even knowing your duties, it can be difficult to fulfill them.
Why is it difficult to move on to your duties? There are many reasons, depending on which side you look at the situation. For example, the ego interferes, which manifests itself in the unwillingness to be the first to admit that one is wrong and begin to act according to one's nature. On the other hand, it can be said that unworked karma (past lives) “presses”, causing incorrect (unreasonable, inappropriate) behavior. A long-term habit of doing something other than your own also plays a role - it’s difficult to rebuild like that right away.
Problems in family relationships
Of course, problems arise and they need to be solved. Not the correct approach to this is to blame the spouse for their occurrence. This is a manifestation of unreasonable selfishness, which never leads to a real solution to the problem.
There are no irreparable situations, and the first thing to do is to properly clarify your own duties for yourself and understand what their failure to fulfill (to see your situation) leads to, which is covered in detail in the lectures. And then gradually rebuild, noting for yourself how life in the family becomes more harmonious.
Managing problems in family relationships
Correctly (i.e. reasonably, wisely) regulating problems in relationships can be hindered by your own selfishness. And there is a simple and powerful remedy for this - the formula of happiness. It does not suit only one category of people - notorious egoists who have no chance of becoming happy in this life (precisely because of selfishness). Everyone else will greatly benefit by applying the happiness formula to their soul mate, but you do not need to tell your spouse about this.
If a person, due to his egoism (“I don’t want”, “I won’t”, “I don’t believe”, etc.) is not able to apply the formula of happiness, perhaps he will be able to work with dualities, which will also significantly contribute to the settlement family problems. In many cases, the technique described in the article How to build relationships can help.
If you cannot solve problems in family relationships on your own, you can contact a psychologist who has experience in Vedic psychology. Before that, it is advisable to study your duties - save time, nerves and money.
Parenting
Who, how (and why) should raise children? What is the role of the father and what is the role of the mother in raising children? Who should raise the boy and who should raise the girl? Not everything is so simple, and there are many important points that I will not mention here either. From the upbringing of children depends on what this will lead to in the future.
It should not be thought that improper upbringing affects only the fate of children. According to the law of karma, all the mistakes made in life, including in raising children, are returned to us.
The impact of family relationships
Of course, family relationships affect other areas of human life. If there are problems in the family, this will in any case affect the mood and health of a person, which cannot but be reflected in work, in the circle of friends and in spiritual practice. Since everything in this world is interconnected, and family relationships are most of all related to the so-called "personal life", it is better to start regulating your life problems from your personal life.
Whether you will be successful, happy and satisfied with life depends largely on your soul mate. But if you dig even deeper, then, of course, it depends on you - on what and how you do in family relationships.
By fulfilling his duties in family relationships, a person receives harmony, which almost automatically puts things in order outside the family. That's why family relations should be given sufficient importance.
family karma
In Vedic lectures, one often hears that family karma is the heaviest, and this is true. Family karma combines both the karma of the family in which we grow up and the karma of the family we create. As a rule, it is much easier to change the circle of friends, work and some other circumstances of life, if they do not suit you, than to change the family that we have created. Moreover, it is impossible to change the family in which we were born.
By fate, we were supposed to be born in such a family, to have precisely such problems - in order to learn how to solve them correctly.
The way out of the trap of family karma is to understand your duties, fulfill them, and pass the exam with an "A". And I want to remind you once again that a universal remedy that greatly facilitates this task is happiness formula.
Another way out is enlightenment, which is what this site is dedicated to. But it should be understood that working on yourself cannot be an excuse for not fulfilling family responsibilities if you already have a family, because this will not contribute to spiritual growth.
Happiness and selfishness in family relationships
In family relationships, happiness depends on what is the direction of life of each of the spouses - to live for themselves (for their own pleasure) or to live for others (for the common good - family and society). The selfish orientation to "live for yourself" automatically delays the happiness of family relationships, and this is a very important point. It is impossible to get family happiness if you want happiness only for yourself, and even getting happiness for yourself turns out to be impossible in this case. Because as soon as you pull the “blanket over yourself”, another person (husband or wife) automatically joins this egoistic game, who also begins to want to possess the entire “blanket”, that is, to get happiness only for himself. Remember that happiness and selfishness are incompatible.
The same is true in other areas - one's own egoism includes the egoism of other people with whom communication or any kind of relationship arises. Yes, your selfishness is also turned on and fueled by the fact that everyone around you is also selfish. Therefore, no one is happy. There is only one way out of this vicious circle - to get rid of the ego, one's own. You should not worry about the egoism of others, their egoism will dry up after the disappearance of your own. The reason for this is very simple: selfishness requires an adversary, an opponent. If you do not have egoism, then the egoism of another person in relations with you is unable to survive, since he needs confrontation, a game. There is no game - the ego is fading. So simple.
It should be understood that you cannot run away from family karma, and as an example of this, many women and men who have divorced experience almost the same problems in their next marriage as in the first or previous one. The person has changed, the problems remain. This once again suggests that nothing in our life is accidental, and we need to learn from our mistakes, correct them - only then repeating negative situations stop.
Therefore, there is no need to rush to leave the family and get divorced, in many cases this does not solve problems, but only creates new ones. You need to see right away whether you are fulfilling all your duties in the family, whether you live mainly for yourself, whether you expect more from your spouse than is possible and reasonable.
There are, of course, situations when divorce is the only way out, but more often the reasonable way out is to build relationships and save the family by stepping over your ego.
If love is gone, it does not mean that forever, and in many cases it can be returned. There are several useful tools and recommendations on this subject in the article. How to bring love back into a relationship. Of course, this is just general recommendations and tools, and they do not replace the need to study the issue of family relations in more depth.
Research of family relations, test
And in conclusion, I propose to do a very important test - a study or analysis of your family relationships. This happens as you listen to lectures. Perhaps this will be quite enough to understand what to do to improve family relations, and start doing it.
As for family consultations, I do not give them for the simple reason that I have too little experience in this area. But, it is quite possible that you will not need them after listening to lectures. Lectures by Dr. Torsunov "Family Relations" can be downloaded for free from the link above, or you can listen to them online on the website of "Audioveda", as well as lectures on family relations by other lecturers.
I'm sorry that the article came out not very informative, and more like an advertisement for lectures, but there is so much material that I would have to do a couple of dozen articles, which does not quite correspond to the general theme of the site. But so much the better for you - listen to an expert on this issue.
Be happy! =============
watch a magazine on a small screen
Hi all! My name is Alexander, I am 25 years old, born and raised in St. Petersburg. I want to tell you my story about how I encountered neurosis, panic attacks and agoraphobia, obsessive thoughts and hypochondria, and how I managed to successfully and almost completely get rid of these unpleasant and useless experiences.
Perhaps I’ll start by telling you a little about myself and my past, since the roots of all my mistakes in thinking, character and perception of the world around me and myself in particular grow from there:
I was born in a dysfunctional family, an alcoholic mother and a walking father, whom I never saw, a small room on the outskirts of the city. It was a gift of fate that at the age of 2 my unlucky mother was deprived of parental rights and my guardians took me to live in a two-room apartment - my current beloved mother and grandmother (God rest her soul), who passed away this spring at the age of 93 ...
As a child, I was spoiled, overprotected, until recently I lived with my mother in the same room, which also greatly affected my upbringing and character, I have always been very suspicious, anxious, overly cowardly, but at the same time a perfectionist and tried to control everything and all in your life. Like everyone else, I went to school, I studied perfectly well until the 6th grade, but then my grades began to drop rapidly due to my passion for sports, in which I immediately began to succeed and soon I was able to achieve good results, at the age of 17-18 I has already been a multiple champion and winner of the city and country championships.
He entered a sports university for a day, but was expelled from the very first year for poor progress. I am currently in my final year correspondence department Faculty of Economics, where I entered, as they say, for the sake of "crust" and in order not to upset my parents, and I still think that I should have chosen a humanitarian direction rather than studying exact sciences and economics (at school, Russian, literature, history were much easier for me, but I could not enter mathematics, physics, etc.)).
I work as a manager in a small company engaged in design and construction in the field of energy supply, which also does not bring me satisfaction at the moment and I do not see myself in this profession in the future.
In general, the lion's share of tension and worries in my life is caused by uncertainty and the desire to quickly find myself in this life, resistance to reality and the desire for change, despite the fact that I am very lazy and, due to my upbringing, I am not used to taking responsibility and making serious decisions on my own, I am used to not to solve problems, but to put them on the back burner and avoid meeting them. In my personal life, I also have nothing definite, I am not married, I have no children and have never had a serious relationship ..
For the last 4 years, I periodically began to drive myself strongly with thoughts that I was seriously ill with something and other obsessive thoughts. At first, I was diagnosed with a hernia of the back, which was most likely an ordinary nervous strain and having gone on vacation in 2011, I forgot about it, but but almost immediately I started having problems with digestion, and due to my super suspiciousness and anxiety, I began to inflate this problem and cheat myself with almost cancer of anything, even found almost blood in the stool (before that, our imagination and faith in certain things, even absurd ones, can deceive us and wishful thinking), and constant searches and comparison of symptoms on the Internet did their job - I found and appropriated everything that was at least a little like my guesses about the “terrible disease”
I already had symptoms (tachycardia, pressure) then - during the exacerbation of these nervous experiences about my sores, but then I had not yet reached the peak and these experiences did not cross the border and did not result in panic attacks and agoraphobia .. I just don’t I paid attention to them and was only concerned that I had only a few months left to live)))
At the end of 2014, at one of the regular weekend parties, I tried one, as they say, “light drug”. In general, to be honest, for the past few years I have not been shy about getting pretty drunk on weekends, which helped me become more confident in myself and forget about my problems for a while and feel more relaxed and sociable than I really was. But this time, everything was a little different ... A couple of days of unbridled fun under the influence of a drug and mixed alcohol, I was pretty beat up.
As usual, on Monday I went to work on a small retreat after all that I had drunk and mixed up. Sitting in the subway and driving one stop, I suddenly felt an unprecedented feeling of wild fear and panic, a desire to escape from there as soon as possible, as if I had fallen into some kind of hole. The people sitting opposite looked at me and did not understand what was happening to me. I blushed, began to cover my face with my hands, my heart was beating at a frantic speed and it seemed ready to jump out, it became difficult for me to breathe and it seemed that this was some kind of heart attack and I was about to die ...
Running out at the next stop, I left the subway and walked back home to a friend with whom we spent this crazy weekend. I then thought that this effect of the drug had not yet ended and decided to sit out with him and recover, I was afraid to go home in this form, I was afraid that my parents would see that something was wrong with me ... the next two days were just hell - I was afraid to go out on the street, I couldn’t fall asleep, I ate a whole bunch of sedatives and at night I already wanted to call an ambulance or go to droppers, I had to take a few days off at work ..
I felt sick, every 15-20 minutes I ran to the toilet for a little, digestion was disturbed, my nerves were like taut strings, and from every rustle I shuddered as if a bomb had exploded next to me.
A few days later, I more or less came to my senses and went to work, went home and, on the whole, moved a little away from the wild horror, believing that I had fully recovered from the disastrous party ... but it wasn’t there - the attack repeated first at work under the boss (I had to say that there was something wrong with pressure) - then again in the subway - then already at home lying in bed at night .. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, my hands were constantly shaking, throwing cold sweat on my nerves, my eyelids were twitching, it seemed to me that I had lost my mind and my brain is permanently and permanently damaged from taking this ill-fated “soft drug.”
I started depersonalization and derealization, everything around me seemed somehow unreal, I could not keep my attention on something for a long time, I could not read or even watch TV, my body and muscles were constantly in tension, my neck ached, I was tormented by insomnia, I drank handfuls of valerian and other pressure pills ..
In the end, I remembered that I have a psychotherapist friend and decided to go to see him. After listening to me, he immediately diagnosed panic attacks, wrote me a couple of prescriptions for antidepressants and some other strong sedative, and said that everything would pass in a month. Having bought all these drugs, something stopped me from immediately starting taking antidepressants, most likely after reading reviews on the Internet that after their cancellation it becomes very bad, I was just afraid to start taking the course right away.
During the winter holidays, I planned to fly on vacation and I already had tickets on hand, but naturally being in such a deplorable psychological state and even from childhood, being terribly afraid of planes on the day of departure in agony, I handed in tickets and after a couple of hours of tantrums called a taxi and left for the rest of the holidays at a dacha in the Leningrad region ... so I launched the avoidance mechanism ...
After spending a week in the country in depression and a terrible state, I climbed the Internet from morning to evening and looked for ways to get rid of this ailment with the terrible name “panic attacks”, talked on forums, from where my “sick” brain picked up more and more new symptoms and avoidance and began to appropriate them for myself ... one evening, as always, while reading information on the Internet about VVD and panic attacks, I came across Pavel Fedorenko's website, where I had the opportunity to download a free book-guide to getting rid of all my problems.
Literally in a couple of hours, having “swallowed” this book, for some reason I immediately believed everything that was written there and decided to act in this direction. Somehow, after going to work after the holidays, I began to try not to avoid avoidance and follow the advice that I read in the book “ Happy life without VVD and panic attacks, but of course, at first, having not fundamentally understood the essence of my problem, I didn’t succeed, but that was the beginning of my journey back to normal life without panic, because without trial and error there is no result ..
At that time, I had already begun to avoid a lot of things and narrowed my life down to a tiny “comfort zone” in which, as it seemed to me, a panic attack would not get me: I completely eliminated alcohol, coffee, even quit smoking for a while, but quickly returned to this addiction after visiting a cardiologist, who said that “at least I can go into space”)) Later, I also took tests and did ultrasound of almost all organs, which also did not reveal any pathologies and made me understand that all problems and symptoms are only in my mind. I stopped talking to my friends, avoided work meetings with my boss, and just business negotiations, often avoided traveling in transport, cinemas and places where he could not quickly leave in the event of an attack ..
Studying the book and video recordings of Pavel Fedorenko, I gradually began to understand what was happening to me and the level of anxiety subsided a little from around the clock, but I still made many mistakes and only occasionally left the “comfort zone” I had created. At the end of March, I decided to sign up for Pashin's training called "Healthy Thinking System". At first, information and practices were difficult for me, because at that moment I was still looking for a “magic pill” and dreamed of getting rid of the symptoms of VVD and panic as soon as possible, and the brain resisted adequately perceiving the information.
Over time, I got better and better, I began to understand and realize that panic attacks did not arise on their own, I began to understand what led to them and that the root of the problem was really in my thinking, habits and established stereotypes and behavior in life, I began Practice the practices given in class.
At the moment, I feel almost completely free. I stopped avoiding coffee, alcohol (although now much less often and not in such quantities as before)), I go to work and communicate with friends, go to the cinema and go to public transport, I started going to the gym and swimming pool, I go to the bathhouse once a week, I didn’t take antidepressants and just threw them away along with prescriptions a couple of months ago, I attend exhibitions, go out of town and, in principle, I don’t have strong restrictions anymore, except perhaps in others Even after my “illness”, I didn’t go to the city and haven’t boarded a plane or train yet, but I’m sure that this is all ahead of me, I try not to rush things and accept both my successes and small setbacks and life’s difficulties.
It is very important to understand and realize that we all fell into neurosis and the psychological disorders resulting from it did not immediately, our lifestyle and perception of the world around us led us to this dead end, and at the level of thinking that we had before panic attacks, the problem cannot be solved, panic attacks are just the tip of the iceberg, the signal of the body that we have already gone too far and it’s time to change something in our lives, and that part of the iceberg that is “under water”, which is invisible to us, is precisely our maladaptive behavior, our wrong reactions to certain events, infantilism, irresponsibility, inability to cope with emotions that sometimes bring our nervous system out of order for several hours or even days, a lot of obligations to yourself and the world around you, generally inadequate thinking ... you can go in for sports and remove symptoms but still experience anxiety, you can meditate and try to find spiritual harmony, but still feel discomfort in uncomfortable situations and exciting moments.
In conclusion, I want to say that after a few months I continue to work on myself, I returned to my usual calm state and little, and probably already almost impossible to return me to the chaos in my head that I had in winter, but looking from the outside, and also with the help of the community in which I am, I understand that I still have to make many new discoveries in myself and overcome myself in many ways before I can become a truly happy person.
I wish everyone who is faced with such a problem as VVD and panic attacks patience and faith in themselves, not to make mistakes in getting rid of them, and a deep awareness of the fact that all anxieties and fears are just thoughts, and only we ourselves have them we create and then blindly believe in them, losing the most valuable thing we have in life - the present moment and real life, let's learn to live in the present and not in thoughts about the past and worries about the future ... all the best)
* Note: spelling, punctuation and style of the author preserved.
Fear is natural for the average person. But in anticipation of trouble, the worst-case scenario “spins” in your brain, forcing you to act as if it is already a fait accompli. Expectation of failures, fear of them, can become the biggest obstacles on the way to Success.
Success lies on the other side of failure
Let's first look at our fears in terms of the nature of the universe. Remember: everything in this world is energy with a certain frequency of vibrations. For example, our eyes perceive light - electromagnetic oscillations certain spectrum. By analyzing the information that our organs of vision perceive before it enters our brain, we can make sure that these vibrations do not carry any evil or hostility, they are just vibrations.
But when we perceive them in our brain, we say, "I see a problem." In other words, we perceive high-frequency energies that do not carry any problems in themselves in such a way that they turn into a problem for us. Only by labeling yourself and others, you create favorable conditions for the emergence of problems and fears. And then "The mind experiences, and the brain remembers," as Wilder Penfield writes in his book "The Riddle of the Mind." And further. It is important to understand that there is neither stress nor happiness in everything that happens. A person of his own choice endows events, situations or objects with their content. “Facts do not exist, there are only interpretations of facts,” Nietzsche once said. In philosophical terms, a person is a subject that makes interpretations, and these interpretations will always be connected with his inner world.
Very often we feel disappointed about what then turned out to be in our favor. Know that there is always a benefit, even in failures. It's a paradox, but in your failures there is also a prize hidden - the opportunity to gain experience, grow wiser and become an expert in your life. “Nothing real can be threatening, nothing unreal exists. This is the peace of God,” says the book A Course in Miracles.
Stephen Pavlina writes:“When you hear someone tell you that success is easy, run away from him, because they will try to sell you another get-rich-quick idea. The honest truth is that it is very difficult - almost impossible - to succeed in something that you have not done before. But it's great. Understand that failure and success are not opposites. Failure is an inevitable part of success. When you fail, it means you take action, so you make mistakes and educate yourself. Success comes naturally once you finally know how to do the right thing."
“Man is not disturbed by events, but by his view of these events,” said the Stoic philosopher Epictetus 2,000 years ago. Sometimes even an accident can serve as an awakening to the beginning of a new life, and months spent in the hospital can be an invaluable gift of finding a “real life”, because “difficulties create opportunities.”
Your philosophy should be the understanding that "everything that happens in my life is the best thing that could happen." If you believe that everything that happens is done, in the end, for your benefit, then there will be no place for stress in your life. If you are sure from the very beginning that everything will end well for you, you will no longer feel like a fragile boat in the endless ocean.
Here is an important principle for your personal philosophy: my current situation is exactly what I need at the moment for personal growth and development. In other words, every aspect of your life today is as it should be. Every difficulty you face contains opportunities that you can turn to your advantage.
Think about this: People only complain about things they can change. After all, it never occurs to anyone to complain about the law of gravity, even if, in accordance with it, we ended up on slippery asphalt. It's a paradox, but we complain not to those who can change something: to the boss - to the wife, but to the wife - to friends. Ask yourself: "Why and why do I always give my precious energy to everything that I do not need?".
Your mind scrolls through up to 60,000 thoughts daily. Analyze how many of them are dedicated to what you do not need? To get rid of these kinds of thoughts, ask yourself: “What do I need?” and reframe them into an intention to solve the problem and thus remove it from your mind.
When we begin to “reconstruct” our own lives, it is like renovating an apartment. Around - chaos, you have to make some decisions, deal with some people ... When the air is full of dust, everything is destroyed "in the trash", it is difficult to maintain a clear vision of the future and the ultimate goal. It is not surprising that under these conditions you may feel anxious and ask yourself: “Am I on the right track? Am I off course? Was it all worth it?" But chaos in nature testifies to growth, to the process that has begun, to dynamics and changes. Physicists know that a system that has gone through chaos reaches a new level of development.
Winemakers will tell you how they get the most exquisite wine. To do this, growing grapes are subjected to "stress", deliberately moistening the soil only at the limit of the vine's survival. After passing through this test, grapes give the best drink.
Millions of years ago, fear signaled to a person that he was out of his comfort zone, leading to a state of readiness to “run-fight-freeze”. Today, fear is a signal that you need to be careful. You need to recognize and accept your fear, and free yourself from it, ask yourself, what kind of image of the future scares you? Then replace this image with its positive opposite. After all, you created fear yourself, imagining some negative result in the future.
All the great teachers and sages said that you should never worry, tear your strength, spending it on the fight. The point is not to slow down the pace of your life, you just need to calm down. When faced with difficult choices, faced with important decisions, ask yourself, “How does this decision make me feel? How correct does it seem to me? What does my intuition tell me? Losers are afraid of failure, so they are failures.
The paradox is that the most successful are those people who fail the most, because they act the most! Thomas Watson Sr., the founder of IBM, once told a journalist: “If you want to succeed quickly, you must fail twice as often. Success lies on the other side of them." Successful people always have a positive attitude towards problems, they have a type of thinking that is called "solution orientation". They think about solutions most of the time. Losers, on the other hand, think about problems and difficulties all the time. Focusing on a solution successful people constantly looking for a way out of the crisis, a way to overcome or circumvent an obstacle on the way. Problem-oriented people are constantly talking about difficulties, who or what is causing it, how unhappy they are, and how hard life is for them.
In contrast, decision-oriented individuals ask the question, “What can be done?” - and begin to remove the obstacle.
The development of a person is very simple, and goes through three stages: - lived experience, - learning a lesson from experience, - development, thanks to this lesson. As soon as we learn these lessons, stop blaming others, and take full responsibility for our lives, our attitude towards ourselves changes, we begin to vibrate in the world in a different way and attract other states into your life. Failure should be treated as an experience, learn from it, become wiser, correct course and move on. See failure as a result that can be improved, as the seeds of something better. After all, lemonade can be made from the most sour lemon! One of the rules of success is: it doesn't matter where you come from, it only matters where you go.
There is a concept in physics known as the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. In simple terms, it lies in the fact that when you look at something from a different angle, this something begins to change, as if adjusting to the observer.
In other words, observing something, you will definitely change it (I will note in passing - here is the reason for what we call the “evil eye”), i.e. even just by observing this world, we change it, and a change in it occurs only when the observer himself changes, and not the observed.
What is true of subatomic particles is also true of our lives. When you learn to look at things from a different angle, they will begin to change. Look at an event that seems to be unsuccessful from a different point of view, and you will definitely discover its positive aspects.
Michael Jordan has the most goals in the basket, but he also has the first place in misses. Disney has been bankrupt 7 times, while winning an Oscar 32 times. Napoleon Hill, whose books made thousands of millionaires, was bankrupt most of his life.
Remember that a true expert is someone who has failed enough to succeed. Treat past failures with a sense of gratitude! Throw your fear in the trash when making a decision, do not ask him for advice. His job is to keep you in your comfort zone. Make it a rule for yourself: “Do first of all what you are most afraid of!”. If fear looms ahead, come closer to it, examine it carefully, pat it on the head, thank it, and it will disappear.
Stop worrying about and for no reason. Remember, "Worry is praying for what you don't want." Worry is a negative form of goal setting. The book of Job says: “For the terrible thing that I was terrified of, this also overtook me; and what I feared came to me.”
Don't be afraid to make mistakes for your future. “In prayer, ask not for a light burden, but for strong shoulders” (St. Augustine). published
It is important to understand that depression, or rather a depressive disorder, is a dangerous disease that requires the intervention of a professional doctor. Depression can be triggered by a variety of factors, some of which are physiological and some of which are psychological. Here are the 5 most dangerous habits that can lead to depression.
Lack of physical activity
Physical activity has a beneficial effect on human health, including mental health. Their absence can lead to depression. People who stay at home all day become lazy and/or start eating too much. This reduces self-esteem. In addition, when you face any difficulty in life, the idea of playing sports will come to your mind last.
The lack of sports or other adequate physical activity reduces the production of “happy hormones” in the brain - dopamine and serotonin. Accordingly, when you find yourself face to face with a sad event, the likelihood of falling into depression will be much higher for you. In contrast, 40 minutes of exercise a day raises these hormones in the blood to above average levels.
Improper nutrition
Healthy eating is important not only for the body, but also for the mind. Polyunsaturated omega-3 fats are essential for proper brain function. These fats cannot be created by the body on its own, so you need to make sure that they get into it with food, otherwise the risk of depression increases.
Most of the omega-3 fats in the meat of wild animals, fish and seafood. In extreme cases, you can use nutritional supplements - it's better than nothing. They can also help keep the brain in good shape.
Lack of sleep and stress
If you constantly do not let yourself get enough sleep, you are driving yourself into depression. Doctors recommend sleeping at least 7-8 hours a day. To make it easier for you to fall asleep, never go to bed with a tablet or laptop in your hands.
Lack of sleep makes a person more nervous and more prone to paranoid moods. All this becomes the basis for depression. In addition, people who sleep little work worse, and this provokes conflicts with superiors and new stress. Appreciate sleep and it will help you avoid depression.
Loneliness
Artificial isolation in loneliness is one of the surest ways to depression. Shutting yourself off from family and friends sets the stage for just about any kind of mental illness. Scientists have proven that people who have a more developed and extensive network of contacts are less prone to depression.
heavy thoughts
Heavy thoughts are also among the main causes of depression. Constantly thinking about failure, failure, or loss is dangerous. There are things in this world that are beyond our control, and therefore it is best not to think about them much. Thinking about them can lead not only to depression, but also to insanity.
You can talk about your problems out loud with loved ones (remember point 4). If there is no one to talk to, then write down the problems on a piece of paper and throw it away or burn it - this symbolic gesture helps to feel inner freedom. 
It is important to understand that men do not realize that they are doing this.
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Your partner will never tell when he hears yours. good advice: ʼʼHoney, how did I not think of that beforeʼʼ. He'll decide, "Well, I'll wait until Tuesday and then I'll pass off this thought as mine," and if you ask him, he'll swear he doesn't remember what you said about it before Tuesday. best advice I can give you here - discuss this matter with your man, let him read these pages and see what happens. After all, it's not the most relationship-damaging habit - it's just really annoying!
4. Why is my partner not able to express his tenderness and admiration to me the way I express to him?
Here's a situation for you: you and your partner decided to spend the evening together - dinner and dancing. You spend an hour and a half working on your hair, manicure, makeup, putting on a beautiful new dress. You enter the living room to greet your man and say:
And here I am, dear. Well, how do I look?
Your partner looks at you for a second and says:
You look good.
Then he goes to get the car keys.
You are left standing in the middle of the room with a terrible feeling of disappointment. ʼʼOkay, you think to yourself. - And what is all he can say?ʼʼ When your man returns, you tell him that you are a little offended by ᴇᴦο inattention.
But I told you that you look good, - he replies with surprise. What else do you want to hear from me?
Well, didn't you notice my new dress, or didn't you pay attention to my hairstyle and everything else?
Do you know what your problem is? your partner says, raising his voice. - You are never satisfied with anything - no matter what I do, everything is bad for you.
And you, being involved in a quarrel, cannot understand what the matter is.
And here's why it happens: unlike women, men do not notice details. Let's go back to the first chapter where we talked about male genetic memory. Men were taught to pay attention to big picture, and women for details: men looked out for enemy tribes on the horizon, while women looked after fire and children; the men thought about how many acres of land they could work in a day and what to sow it for next year, while the women thought about what to cook for lunch today; the men were worried about having enough money to send their kids to college and pay the rent, while the women were worried about whether the kids had clean linen to go to school tomorrow. This does not mean that some of the levels of these worries are better, and some are worse - it's just different ways of perceiving the world around us that men and women are used to.
Yes, you know everything yourself.
How many times, discussing the furniture that you saw with your friends, did you hear your husband's question: ʼʼWhat, was the sofa blue? And I didn't notice.
Did you ask your partner: ʼʼDo you know my green dress with a white collar - do you think it will look better at your cousin's wedding than a black velvet suit?ʼʼ - and he looked at you helplessly until you finally began to understand that he doesn't remember the dresses you're talking about at all.
Most, but certainly not all men, do not pay as much attention to color, shape, quality and other details as women, who are used to noticing everything.
The problem is that women subconsciously expect the same perception from men.
Therefore, when you ask your partner: ʼʼHow do I look?ʼʼ - you expect from him the same answer that you yourself would give if he asked you about it - details, details, details. You know how your girlfriend reacts when she sees you in a new dress: ʼʼOh, Barbara, what's new? I really like. Turn around, let me look behind you. You know, this style really suits your figure. And how well you picked everything up - it looks just wonderfulʼʼ.
This does not mean that men do not want to express their feelings to you or praise you - they just do not pay attention to it, they are not used to delving into these issues. Moreover, most men do not even suspect that there is some kind of problem here until you explain it to them.
Solution:
It is important to understand that men do not realize that they are doing this. - concept and types. Classification and features of the category "It is important to understand that men do not realize that they act in this way." 2017-2018.
