Scene "Emergency class meeting"
Teacher.
Kolya and Tanya are students who fought.
Their classmates.
teacher b. Well, my dears, we again have an emergency of a classy scale: Kolya and Tanya got into a fight during the break, and I had to unhook them from each other, otherwise this fight would have ended tragically. How will we continue to live?
Student. And let's ask them.
Teacher. Let's ask. (Pointing with a glance at Tanya and Kolya.) Please.
Tanya and Kolya come out, turning away from each other.
Student. Well, the spitting image of a cat and a dog!
Tanya. You are the cat...
Kolya. Not a cat but a cat...
Student. They still call names!
Pupil. They just didn't get cold enough. There's more steam coming!
Student. Maybe splash water on you?
Pupil. Or put it in the fridge?
Everyone laughs. Tanya and Kolya also begin to smile.
Teacher. Well, Kolya is already smiling, which means he has come to his senses. Kolya, please evaluate your own act.
Kolya. What about me? Tanya was the first to call names!
Teacher. Let's say. Well, who should finish first? (Kolya silently lowers his head.) Who, guys?
Students. The one who is smarter.
Teacher. ABC truth... But, apparently, there were no smart ones among the two of you, as well as educated ones, unfortunately.
Students. Yes, don't worry, Lyudmila Vladimirovna, they will make peace. It's not the first time.
Teacher. It is clear that not the first. And when will the last one be?
Students. They just have such personalities.
Yes, how to find a scythe on a stone ...
Well, right roosters!
Teacher. Still, I'd love to hear from them. Come on, roosters, smile! Wider, wider!
Pupil. Tanechka, show your teeth!
Teacher. You are neighbors, you go home from school together. And you're behaving like a neighbor. Not good. Well, will you tell us something in your defense?
Tanya. We won't say. (Winking to Kolya.)
Kolya. We will not say in our defense, but we will sing. You will be the first to start, as always!
A song is performed to the motive “Do not tease dogs, do not chase cats” (music by E. Ptichkin).
Tatyana sings.
If a fight suddenly broke out in our class,
That instigator is me, the main bully.
Everyone scolds me, everyone gives advice,
They will understand me in no way, they will not understand in any way -
It's useless!
If in our class
Everyone was obedient
Then believe me, Nikolai,
Then believe me, Nikolai,
It would be very boring!
Nikolay sings.
If Tatyana sticks out her long tongue,
Then, of course, I, I will not be silent.
Quarrel, friends, this is a shame to listen to.
Plug your ears as soon as possible!
Even though she's a girl
In general, good
There is one disadvantage
There is one drawback:
Very groovy.
They sing a duet.
Our leader keeps telling us:
It would be time to grow up, to take care of yourself,
But whirlwinds are raging in our head,
There is no forecast yet, whether they will subside soon.
Grow up - and then
We will become smarter
And over your stupidity,
And over your stupidity
Let's laugh ourselves!
Teacher. Only the very good can laugh at themselves, kind people. I hope the conflict is over.
Scenario "Birthday"
Characters
Anton is the birthday boy, his classmates.
A group of children in caps, with clown noses, with gifts in their hands, appears on the stage. They sing: "Happy birthday to you!". The hero of the occasion in the costume of the "star" (a cape studded with stars, a headband decorated in the center), all attention is riveted on him.
Children. And now we invite the hero of the occasion to the "magic chair". (The birthday boy sits on a chair, the children surround him in a semicircle). Today Antoshka is our “star”. So, we forgot all the bad, we say only the good.
Children. Anton is smart, erudite. He reads a lot, and therefore it is never boring with him.
Birthday boy. I have five volumes of an encyclopedia at home. I have read them all!
Children. Antoshka is the king of jokes. He knows a lot of anecdotes, jokes, it's always fun with him. He knows how to lighten the mood.
Birthday boy. By the way, guys, here's a new anecdote. The frog princess gallops through the swamp, and in the side the arrow is bitter. Oncoming frogs ask in horror: “They wanted to kill you, princess?” “You will say the same,” the princess dismisses and happily adds. “Vanyushka made me an offer!”
Children. Well, we say: you will not get bored with him!
Girl. Anton, you are generous and sympathetic. Guys, he will take off his last shirt and give it to a friend. Anton, can you take a picture?
Birthday boy. What, right now? (Starts to unbutton buttons.)
Girl. What are you, what are you! I expressed myself figuratively.
I like the way Anton treats the girls: he stands up for them, lets them go forward, gives outerwear. Like a knight! Anton, you are a real man!
Birthday boy. These are still flowers, berries are ahead.
One of the children. I liked, Anton, how you danced at the disco.
Birthday boy. Yes, I can do better!
One of the children. Anton has excellent artistic possibilities! When he played in the scene of the Nightingale the Robber, all the spectators choked with laughter. And when Basilio the Cat played... (Laughs.)
Birthday boy. I understand what you mean. (Shows a bow to Cat Basilio and how he was seized by sciatica.)
Children. Anton, you are such a handsome man, you have such a cool hairstyle! And you yourself are so appetizing, like a gingerbread!
Birthday boy. Well, I'm certainly not Tom Cruise. Although we certainly have something in common. (Grabs both cheeks with his hands.) Oh, guys, I seem to have a "star" illness!
Children. Isn't it contagious? And how does it manifest itself?
Birthday boy. Dizziness.
Children. It's from compliments.
Birthday boy. Palpitation.
Children. It's from praise.
Birthday boy. I feel like I'm growing, growing. (Stands up on a chair.)
Children. It’s great that he was “starred”! Nothing, now we will start giving gifts - it will descend from heaven to earth. (Chorus.) Anton, ay!
The birthday boy comes to his senses, sits on a chair.
Children line up and give gifts.
Children.
To look like a hairstyle,
Should have a comb in your pocket.
Inflate this balloon
Just don't fly away!
You will appreciate my modest gift later,
Watching a photo album with grandchildren.
And now our joint musical gift.
The dance "Gypsy" is performed. The birthday boy, unable to stand it, starts dancing.
Children. And now let's get to the main point. Gifts are presented - we will pull the birthday man by the ears! (Surround him.)
Birthday boy. Ah-ah-ah-ah! (He runs away, everyone runs after him.)
Scene "On the meaning of the regime"
Characters
Lesha, Lenya, Andrey are students, their classmates.
The bell rings for class. The children are standing near the desks. The teacher enters.
Teacher. Hello! Sit down. Today in the lesson we will talk about the meaning of the mode. The regime is a clear daily routine. Proper implementation of the regime, the alternation of work and rest improve performance, accustom to accuracy, discipline a person, strengthen his health.
Guys, are you all doing routine moments?
Children. Yes!
Lyosha. And I even overfulfill!
Teacher. Come on, come on, tell me...
Lyosha. Well, for example, according to the regime, you need to eat four times a day, and I take eight. Or: you are supposed to walk in the fresh air for three hours, and I walk for six.
Teacher. You are with us, Lyosha, a big joker. I hope this is your next joke. Otherwise, in this situation, a big lazy person can grow out of you.
Lyosha. I was joking, Elena Andreevna!
Teacher. Morning exercises, washing, rubbing with a wet towel help to move away from sleep, cheer up. Those who are used to the regime even wake up without an alarm clock and are never late for school. The one who does not go to bed at the same time is late. (Andrei yawns, apologizes.) If a breathless student flies into the classroom after the bell...
There is a rumble behind the door, Lyonya bursts into the classroom.
Lyonya. Sorry I'm late.
Teacher. This is what we see. Explain to us, Lenya, why are you always late? For example, only this week you were late on Tuesday, Thursday and today.
Lyonya.
On Tuesday summed up the bed -
I couldn't wake up in time.
The day before yesterday I forgot my briefcase,
It had a banana
I had to return.
Figured out my mistakes
Today I wanted to come on time
But overclocked too much
And flew past the school.
V. Leikin
Teacher. Sit down, you are our grief. I advise you to work on your daily routine.
Andrei yawns loudly, apologizes.
Teacher. Let's continue the lesson. Now I will introduce you to auto-training. It is necessary in order to relax, switch from one thought to another, relax. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, try to imagine what I am talking about.
"Morning. I open my eyes, stretch. Gentle rays of the spring sun break into my room. I get up, go to the window, part the curtains. A fabulous picture appears before me: the clear sky turns blue, tender young greenery pleases the eye. I feel the warmth of spring spread all over my body. At heart, calm and joyful, calm and joyful. Spring, spring pours into my body.
Open your eyes.
Andrew(does not wake up, snores, screams in his sleep). Don't, please don't! Don't hit me anymore! I give up!
He is pushed by a neighbor on the desk, he wakes up.
Andrew(coming to himself). Last night I went to bed at 3 am. Boxing was shown on TV - a duel between Valuev and Klitschko.
Teacher. Here is a clear example of non-compliance with the daily routine. (Call.) Maybe the call will wake you up completely. Rest.
Scene "Change"
Characters
5 pairs of classmates.
Children form a circle of couples talking to each other, which gradually rotates.
1st pair.
- "I'm running", "we're running",
"You run" and "you run".
You told me time
Brothers, tell me!
Verb tenses i
Learned poorly.
But what is this change?
Absolutely right!
2nd pair.
Boys in class
We just have angels
But on the change -
Not boys, but special forces!
That's for sure. How to get along -
Sparks fly from the eyes.
We need a fire extinguisher
To keep the class on fire!
3rd pair.
- Hedgehog, hedgehog, hedgehog, hedgehog ...
You don't know cases!
You seem to know:
"Cinema" with "coat" bow!
4th pair.
My friend is a prodigy:
Chinese studies,
Goes to football and dancing
He writes poetry!
I can't dance
And I don't write poetry
I don't glue airplanes
I don't follow football.
I can't sing bass
And I do not sculpt from clay,
One of the class
5th pair.
All day I was doubtful:
Why, eccentric, did I learn this rule?
Why did I understand this rule?
“Five” still didn’t put me.
Well, why do you need a "five"?
You really are a weirdo.
For example, my score is
Such a strong "troika".
About Wise Elena
I'll tell you brother.
Tell. Listen to a fairy tale
I will be very glad.
She was beautiful:
Smile - the sun is clear,
Spit - ripe wheat,
And the handle is snow white.
But the girl decided
Wisdom to learn:
And day and night at the desk
Pissed off on science...
And she became hunchbacked
Crooked, shortsighted.
Faded beauty
Now they call the Wise One:
She warms her cheeks with beets,
And the nose smears with powder ...
Like a stick, it became skinny,
I wrinkled my forehead from reading...
And she said gloomily:
What a fool I am!
The bell rings for class.
Note. The scene contains poems by the following authors:
S. Vostokov. "I can't dance..."
V. Leikin. “The whole day I was doubtful…”
A. Usachev. “She was beautiful ...” (“About Elena the Wise, the former Beautiful”).
Decoration for almost everyone children's holiday there are funny scenes about school. KVN, held in the native walls, New Year's party, the birth of the school - but you never know great reasons to have fun!
We are pleased to offer you a selection of several scenes that will help create a festive mood.
Short dialogues
The little ones about school offered here do not require decorations and memorization of long texts at all.
One student sleepily says to another:
I must be allergic!
Why do you say that?
Yes, I cover myself with a blanket and sleep all the time!
Two students after a geography lesson:
I still don't believe the earth is spinning!
Why so?
Yes, if it were spinning, the sea would have splashed long ago!
The doppelgänger angrily informs his friend:
You imagine? The teacher demanded that I name the simplest, which reproduces by division! I'm not good at math at all!
In the computer class
The following funny scenes about school also do not require special decorations. Only the latter will need an imitation of a computer class.
A stupid high school girl, showing off, looks at the tablet, as if in a mirror:
My light, mirror, tell me! Yes, tell the whole truth! Am I the sweetest in the world? Everyone is slimmer and more fashionable?
Mirror (drawn, but angrily):
I'll give you my answer! You frazzled me out! I am a tablet!
The student asks the teacher:
Ivan Ivanovich, did you have a tablet as a child?
No, what are you, then there were no computers!
And what did you play?
On the street!
The cleaner comes into the computer room and asks sternly:
Who here knows how to use computers?
All students, without exception, answer: "I am."
Cleaning lady (terribly):
Then urgently go online and look for a site where they teach how to use the toilet!
School anniversary scene: funny and not very long
This scene only requires characteristic features at the actors. "Nerd" should be wearing glasses and speak strictly, and the girl and her girlfriend should look silly, cutesy and enthusiastic.
A guy who looks like a typical "nerd" tells his friend:
Imagine, Tomka called me home to see what was wrong with her computer! I come, and she, apparently, cannot sit in one place at all! It spins on the chair, so the cord is wound around the leg of the chair. I swore, untangled the cord, inserted the plug that popped out, turned on her computer and left.
Tomochka, rolling his eyes, enthusiastically tells his classmate:
Oh, this Lyutikov also knows how to conjure!
What are you?!
Well, yes, he came to me, looked intently at the computer, raised his hands up, whispered something mystical, turned my chair 10 times counterclockwise, kicked the computer with his foot, whispered something mystical again and left. Guess it all worked!
Classmate, admiringly:
Blimey! Witch!
Very funny scenes about school
After explaining in the lesson of natural history, the teacher asks the class:
Well, now you understand why it snows in winter, but not in summer?
Petrov, from the place:
Of course it's understandable! If it fell in the summer, it would melt!
At the Russian language lesson, the teacher says:
Petrov, “I am studying, you are studying, he is studying” - what time is this?
Petrov, with a sigh:
Lost, Mary Ivanna!
Friends come up to the excellent student and say:
Andryukha, let's go to a cafe with the girls tonight!
Andrew thought:
No, I won't go with you! There is music roaring, everyone is making noise ...
So what?
Yes, I doubt that in such an environment I will be able to fully understand the essence of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral.
Sketches for younger students
The following funny scenes - for elementary school. They can be successfully shown at a holiday with kids. True, high school students will have to help their younger comrades in this.
A high school student says to his friends:
Look how stupid this first grader is! I'll show you now!
He calls the baby and, when he comes up, says to him:
In this hand I have 50 rubles, and in this hand 10 - what will you take for yourself?
The kid takes 10 rubles. High school students laugh, twist their fingers at the temple, shrug.
A friend of a first grader on the sidelines asks him:
Why did you choose 10 rubles?
Well, if I choose 50, then it's game over!
A first grader examines a high school girl's manicure (admiringly):
Wow, what long nails you have!
High school student, coyly:
What do you like?
Well, yes! With them, probably, it is so convenient to climb trees!
Mom looks in the diary of a first grader. And there the deuce is crossed out, and there is a four next to it. Mom, with horror:
Vanechka! What it is?!
Vanechka, calmly looking at her mother:
The teacher told us that if we want, we can correct a bad grade!
Scenes with teachers
You can play the following funny short scenes about school yourself, or you can invite teachers to participate in them.
Conversation with the teacher:
Sidorkin, didn't you promise me that you would correct your deuce?
Yes, Mary Ivanna.
Didn't I promise to call your parents if you don't?
Yes, Mary Ivanna, but if I did not keep my promise, then you can not keep yours either!
The teacher sternly looks at the latecomer:
Semyon! You're late again! What is it this time?
Semyon, guilty:
Mary Ivanna, I woke up, looked at the time, and blinked unsuccessfully.
The music teacher turns to mommy:
Your daughter needs to play the piano more!
Mom, sighing heavily:
Lord, so much more! Our seventh neighbor has already moved out!
Dreams Dreams...
These little ones about school will already require minimal decorations showing that the guys have left the school, although these conversations can also take place at recess. It all depends on the imagination of the director.
Sidorov, sighing heavily, goes home from school. Ivanov asks him:
Sidorov, what are you doing? Did you get a double?
Sidorov sadly:
And adds dreamily:
Imagine how much easier it would be to learn if a theorem in geometry could be proved with the words: “Yes, you see!”
The guy is dreamy: “It would be great if we could read minds! I would then know what to answer in the lesson!
His buddy: “Yeah, and I would also know what the teacher thinks when you answer wrong!”
Romantic relationship
Of course, funny short sketches about school cannot ignore how unexpectedly sometimes sympathy between boys and girls is shown at school.
Little Johnny escorts Masha home from school and says to her hesitantly:
Listen, Masha, I want to confess to you (pause), (she speaks quickly) while you were walking to the blackboard, I tore off the wings of a fly and threw it into your briefcase! I'm sorry!
Masha, narrowing her eyes cunningly:
I wonder if it's tasty?
Vovochka is confused:
I don't know... What are you asking?
Masha calmly:
Yes, I want to apologize too! I threw it into your soup in the dining room while you went out for bread!
Let's laugh a little more
Even the funniest scenes about school are often taken directly from life, so the organizers of the holiday can come up with something similar themselves.
At a Russian language lesson, Vovochka asks a neighbor in his desk:
Hear how to say correctly: cottage cheese or cottage cheese?
Neighbor, adjusting his glasses, with a smart look:
Emphasis on "o"!
Vovochka, after a pause:
Thank you! Rescued, so rescued!
A classmate (in appearance - an excellent student) says, sighing:
Yes, Lozhkin, you are not friends with your head at all!
Lozhkin, shrugging his shoulders:
And I have a purely business relationship with her - I feed her, and she thinks!
Conversation with the teacher
Funny sketches about school - whether you arrange KVN or other fun events - are not complete without dialogues similar to those below.
The teacher is talking to a fashionably dressed high school student:
Lerochka, well done, you stopped being late for school!
Yes, Mary Ivanna, it's all because of my mother.
Did she have an educational conversation with you?
No, she just bought herself chic Italian boots!
So what?
Like what? Now I get up first to have time to put them on before my mother! (Proudly retires)
The teacher throws up her hands.
An elderly teacher, sighing, says to her colleague:
I'll probably have to quit!
What are you talking about! You are the best teacher in the school!
I’ve earned quite a lot ... I go into the tram in the morning, there are a lot of people, I raise my eyes and say sternly: “Hello, sit down!”
Funny? Of course it's funny!
Funny sketches about school are good because they are easy to play, they do not require exhausting rehearsals. The main thing is that your fun mood conveyed to the audience!
Mitya, do you know what the word "super" means?
Well, yes, this is something so big, more than that already and can not be.
What about hyper?
And the "hyper" ... (Mitya rubs his forehead) Oh! This is what is more "super"!
Girls dancing in the disco
Listen, don't you know what a mosol is?
Well, this is such a huge bone, they put it in borscht. What are you asking?
Yes, I heard a cool song here: “You my heart, You my soul…”
Music from a famous song performed by Modern Talking begins to sound on stage
Petya with a huge "lantern" under his eye and his friend:
Petka, why are you covered in bruises?
Playing snowballs with a girl!
So what?
So she, it turns out, is from the youth handball team! And these don't miss!
Case in the dressing room
Some funny scenes about school require the participation of extras. But they still won't be difficult to set up.
The girls, screaming, are dragging the stubborn guy. The teacher stops them.
Stop! What happened?!
One of the girls is indignant:
Lyutikov spied on us in the locker room!
The teacher, looking sternly at Lyutikov:
So what, did you like it?
Lyutikov is silent in confusion, then loudly gives out:
Girls in chorus, drawn out and offended:
How not?!
All funny scenes about school, as you understand, must be played sincerely and seriously. Minimal decorations also do not hurt.
On the stage, you can put, for example, two desks and a board to recreate the appearance of a class. If events take place at recess or on the way home, you can dream up. For the "road home" one tree or bench is enough. And the situation taking place in the school corridor can be played out in front of a large window in the background.
The main thing in these scenes is not to overload them with decorations. They are short, and therefore the emphasis should be on what the actor says, and not on what surrounds him at that moment.
To build scenes in one concert, you can invite a host who will tell the audience where this situation is happening. Imagine, and your holiday will definitely be remembered and make the most wonderful impression!
Shevchenko Tatyana Valerievna
teacher primary school
Municipal Autonomous educational institution"Secondary school No. 4 with in-depth study of English language»
Scenario of the holiday "Carousel of funny stories"
for elementary school students
G. New Urengoy
1) Welcome speech of the teacher.
2) The course of the holiday.
Who is accepted into the school?
(Four children at the blackboard)
Girls with bows
Boys with flowers
Moms are dressed up
Dads are ironed.
Grandparents
They hustle side by side.
Everyone is worried, noisy,
They sigh, they sigh -
Everyone wants to go to school
But not everyone is allowed!
Here's the call called the guys
Crystal voice.
And cheerful adult look
Became a little sad.
Mothers look after children
Moms understand:
Only those who are 7 years old
They are accepted to the school.
The bed won't let go
(A schoolboy comes out, does not smile, tells with a serious look)
The bed grabbed my shoulder.
- I won't let go! Sleep some more!
I broke out.
There's a sheet
Grabbed my hand:
- Wait, my friend!
Don't run away!
Lie down a little more!
- Getting up is an unpleasant business! -
A wadded blanket whispered.
Pillows hear a voice:
- Do not rush. Get some sleep.
At least half an hour, at least half a minute ...
But I jumped
And shouted:
- Dudki!
Road to school
What's the noise, what's the scream?
A student rushes to school
Everything sweeps in the way.
It's better to go to the side.
And rushes towards him,
Also a student at school.
If suddenly their foreheads collide -
There will be an explosion, a fire, a tsunami!
Favorite items
(A schoolboy comes out with a book under his arm)
"My Favorite Items..."
Write about them - what a trifle!
I opened this topic easily
In a few words:
“Winter will pass ... summer will come -
It's time for no lessons...
My favorite items:
Ball, popsicle, bicycle!”
Drawing lesson
(A boy comes out, attaches a drawing to the board: a close-up of a soldier, a small carrot). Reading a poem:
The teacher put a carrot on the table.
A diligent student opened the album.
“That barrel over there is in the shade. Let's do a dash.
And this one is in the light. Let's put a highlight."
The kid worked, sparing no effort,
Hatching applied to carrots.
And yet they appeared next to the carrot
Two birds with one stone, a ship, a soldier with a rifle.
sea battle
(Two boys read in turn, each has drawings of ships or sheets lined for the game "Battleship")
An old brig was sunk in battle,
Pirate old brig.
Oh, how terrible that moment was
How rapacious is the cry of the gulls!
But I don't care about death
Let everything be covered with smoke
After all, another corvette is intact
And a couple of boats with him.
There is a heavy, terrible battle,
Tough, scary fight.
Who will win from you and me
Fate is the only one to decide.
Let the shores be so far
Beautiful cannon din! ..
And let the teacher at the blackboard not interfere with us! (chorus)
In the thirtieth century
(A girl is at the board, the word “KAROVA” is written on the album sheet in large children's handwriting, she attaches the sheet to the board with magnets.)
In some thirtieth century,
We will be as ancient as the Greeks.
Us in without fail
The whole quarter will be held,
And our school notebooks
Everyone will be in awe.
And someone, taking Orlov's notebook
And having made out the words with difficulty,
Will exclaim: “In ancient times,“ a cow ”
Written with the letter "A"!
(Student makes a correction with a bright marker in a word on the board).
Where to put a comma?
Very, very weird look.
river outside the window
Burning, waggling
someone's house
tail wags,
Dog shoots a gun
Boy
Almost ate
mouse,
cat with glasses
Reading a book
old grandfather
flew into the window,
Sparrow
Grabbed the grain
Yes, how to scream, flying away:
That's what the comma means!
happy loss
One day I'm from school
Returned with a briefcase.
My portfolio is on the way
Suddenly took and lost!
I was very happy
So much luck
Hold on tight I briefcase -
Everything would have turned out differently!
Like in time I'm away from him
Suddenly he took it and pulled away!
Otherwise, it would be right with him
Suddenly took and lost!
After school
There was a hat under the table
And on the chandelier are two sneakers.
There were slippers on the table
Ball, whistle, piece of string.
This is me coming from school:
Was happy and cheerful
Received on reading "five"!
How not to scatter everything?!
The witch does not conjure
The witch is sitting, pouting
To the whole wide world:
The sorceress does not conjure
And there is no inspiration.
Conjured for breakfast
Banana from Africa
And he appeared - hello to you! -
Storm from the Arctic.
Conjured for dinner
In a glass of ice cream,
But I was convinced with horror:
In a glass - kefir!
Well, what a shame
So what's the punishment?
Not happy with singing
Not even drawing:
I drew a chicken
And the gun came out...
The witch is sitting, pouting
To the whole wide world.
And maybe someone pouts
That's why he doesn't conjure?
Open the first entry on the board, read in unison:
Secret one
There are no words "I do not want"
“I can’t”, “I forgot how”.
And there is "I'll try"
And there is "it worked!"
Scene "Two and three"
(The author and two boy readers, a plate with two pies)
Seryozha went to first grade.
Don't joke with Sergei!
Count
He can with us
Nearly ten!
Not a sin to such a sage
Turn up your snub nose!
Somehow at the father's table
And he asked a question:
- Two pies here, dad, right?
And if you want to bet! -
I can always prove
That there are not two, but three!
We count together:
Here is ONE
Here are two, look!
ONE and TWO, - finished the son, -
Just will be THREE!
- Well done! said the father.
And actually three!
And that's why
I'll take two
And take the third one!
(“Dad” takes the pies, “son” remains with an empty plate in his hands)
Scene "Best student".
Roles:
1) Presenter
2)Author
3) Schoolgirl 1
4) Schoolgirl 2
Presenter: Scene "The best student."
Schoolgirl 1: Who do you think knows the best mathematics in our class?
Schoolgirl 2: In my opinion, our teacher!
Scene "Homework".
Roles:
1) Presenter
2)Author
3) Schoolboy
4) Teacher.
Presenter: Scene "Homework".
Teacher: I don't understand how one person could make so many mistakes!
Student: Why one? My parents helped me!
Scene "First Party".
Roles:
1) Host
2) Author
3) Schoolboy 1
4) Schoolboy 2
Presenter: Scene "First Desk".
Student 1: Always try to take the first desk.
Student 2: Why? To be closer to the board?
Schoolchild 1: To be the first to run to the dining room after the bell!
Scene "First graders"
Roles:
1) Presenter
2)Author
3) Schoolboy 1
4) Schoolboy 2
Presenter: Scene "First graders"
Schoolboy 1: Never offend first graders!
Student 2: Why?
Schoolboy 1: Kids are such sneaks!
Scene "Cleaning" (based on the work of A. Usachev)
Author, teacher, director, children take their places. Read by role at the blackboard. The teacher is sitting at the table. You will need items: notebooks, a watering can, a rag, a brush, a notepad and a pen for the director.
CLEANING
- You, Krylov, flowers of the field.
There, in the corner, is a large watering can.
You, Kozlov, erase from the board.
You, Petrova, sweep!
- No problem! Krylov said.
- All hockey! Kozlov said.
And the stern Petrova
She didn't answer a word.
- In general, to be in order! -
The teacher explained the idea
And left with a mountain of notebooks.
And the events took off.
Krylov took a large watering can -
Petrov began to water.
Kozlov could not stand it - and with a rag
He began to wipe Petrova.
And the stern Petrova
Didn't say a word to them
Both Kozlov and Krylov
Began to sweep with a brush ...
In general, the school was shaking so much,
That the director ran into the class
And looked at them with fear:
- What did you do with each other?
- P-watered, - said Krylov,
“V-wiped it,” said Kozlov.
And the stern Petrova
She didn't answer a word.
- Well, the class is perfectly cleaned -
The class is much cleaner than you!
I'll write you a note
And to be in an hour ...
- Ouch. Not on ... - said Krylov.
- I won't… - said Kozlov.
And the stern Petrova
She didn't say anything.
But the director kept his word.
Soon one and all
According to director's note
Was promptly taken to the dry cleaners. (All artists in chorus)
Rescuer. Author -A.Usachev
(Children are selected according to the number of roles)
- We'll have to punish Kozlov! -
The teacher spoke sternly.
Tell me, Kozlov, why are you again
Did you pull Petrov's braid?
Kozlov answered: - What is it?
Maybe I can save her...
What if she goes for a swim?
And suddenly she starts to sink -
I need to practice
How to pull it out of the water!
Petrova shouted at this:
- Save someone else!
On that day, Kozlov decided in frustration:
"There is no place in life for heroism!"
But a day later with a new hope
Smirnova tugged at her braid:
- Smirnova, I will save YOU -
Let Petrova be jealous!
We open the second record on the board, we read in unison:
Secret two:
We are not just kids anymore!
We are students now!
That's it dad!
I found my father's school
Shabby Diary
With a football table
Touring singer,
control page,
Where the fat stake originated.
And I walked happy -
The diary is so cool!
Two grandmothers
Two grandmothers on a bench
They sat on the hillside.
Grandmothers said:
- We have one five! -
congratulated each other,
shook hands with each other,
Although the exam was passed
Not grandmothers, but grandchildren!
Sly old ladies
Probably old ladies
full of toys!
Matryoshka and parsley
and clockwork frogs.
But sly old women
hid toys
and sat in a corner
knit a stocking
and pet your cat
and groan for fun.
And they're just waiting
when will everyone leave?
And at the same moment
old woman - jump!
Flies stocking
under the ceiling!
And they get old women
elephant from under the pillow
and a doll, and a giraffe,
and a ball from under the cupboard.
But only at the door - a call,
they take a stocking...
And the old ladies think
don't know about toys
no one in the apartment
and even in the whole world!
mothers
Moms love to eat jam
Sitting in the dark in the kitchen
Sing while dancing on Sunday
If no one sees them.
Moms love to measure puddles,
Finding them in the hot summer
Forget the keys to the door
And then loiter somewhere.
Moms like to sleep on Saturday
And sculpt elephants out of snow
And skip work
And in the winter without a hat to run.
Moms love to chew on candy.
And ride the tram
But they are silent about it.
Why?
No one knows…
The third entry opens:
We will overcome all sciences,
Everything will work out for us
Because our mothers
They study with us.
Secret Four:
Large inscription "Surprise". There is a knock on the door. A child enters with a disheveled wig on his head. The teacher says to the children: "Probably, this is a brownie."
I am a brownie
School is my home.
I'm tidying up here
I follow every little thing
I store the chalk for you
I go with a check in each class.
I try an omelette in the kitchen
Late at night in the office
Director I come
And I'm sitting at the computer.
I'm not a simple brownie, I'm a schoolboy. I love to learn and communicate. How I missed the guys all summer! Glad to meet new friends! I have riddles for you, come on!
The brownie takes out leaves with riddles from the basket, reads them aloud. You can pick up any riddles on the topic "School supplies". The author of the sketch is A.A. Dryapina, Moscow.
Competition.
Large inscription on the board "Do you know fairy tales?"
The leading girl comes out.
- Name literary heroes. The children answer in chorus.
- Dad ... Carlo.
- Puss ... in boots, Leopold.
- Father Frost.
- Baba ... Yaga.
- Uncle Fedor.
- Crocodile Gena.
- Dr. Aibolit.
- Red Riding Hood.
- Fly Tsokotukha.
Competition "Cinderella". The leading boy comes out and announces:
- All girls love this fairy tale, now everyone will play the role of Cinderella. The boys go out the door, the girls leave one shoe at the board. They take their places.
- Task for boys: remember who owns the shoe. (The competition turned out to be fun, the guys conferred, argued, one hostess was never recognized, she came to the holiday in new shoes).
"Our School Days" Presentation.
Requires preparation. Photos of students and their parents on the school line on September 1. Photos at lessons, breaks, in the school canteen, in the pool, etc. Background music plays and a slideshow is shown.
Word to parents. Words of congratulations, parting words, wishes sound.
Literature.
1) Fun lessons in poetry and stories. - M.: Onyx Publishing House, 2010. - 320p.: ill. – (Big book to read)
Artwork used:
V. Danko. The bed won't let go
I. Sokovnya. Road to school
D. Gerasimov. sea battle
S. Makhotin. In the thirtieth century
S. Makhotin. That's it dad!
B. Zakhoder. two and three
D. Gerasimov. Moms.
A. Barto. Two grandmothers
I. Shevchuk. happy loss
I. Sokovnya. After school
A. Usachev "Cleaning"
2) Antipova M.B. and etc.
Russian language: Textbook. For homework. Exercises, rules, examples, 1-3 cells / M.B.Antipova, A.V. Vernikovskaya, E.S. Grabchikova.-Mn.: Oracle LLC, 1996.- 384 pp.- ill.- (Brook).
Scene "Our cases"
(according to L. Kaminsky)
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down short story which I will dictate to you.
Student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictating):“Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then he promised to improve.”
Student writes from dictation on the board.
Teacher: Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.
Student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mother”, “Vova”, “behavior”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Decide what case these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Get started!
Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. So, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. "Vova" is a name. So the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. So, here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest to give yourself?
Student: What? Of course, five!
Teacher: So five? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?
Student: In the prepositional!
Teacher: In a prepositional? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
Scene "Correct answer"
(I. Butman)
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Student: No, the plum should not.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher A: Wrong again.
Student: How much is correct?
Teacher: And now I'll put the correct answer in your diary!
Scene "3=7 and 2=5"
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not study anything. I don't know exactly what to put in the statement.
Petrov(gloomy looking at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, scientific work was doing.
Teacher: What are you? What?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics is wrong and ... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was mistaken and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he, too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov(solemnly): That's not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: Like this?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: Clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: That's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: And don't be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both parts of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. So did you do it?
Petrov: Let us suppose.
Teacher: So I put "2", it doesn't matter. BUT?
Petrov: No, it's not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to five!
Guys, help Petrov.
Scene "Folder under the arm"
(I. Semerenko)
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took a folder by mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrew: Ha-ha-ha! Indeed, it's funny.
Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't started talking yet.
Andrew(laughing): Folder ... under the arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder under the arm and will not fit, he's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? Folder - daddy. You forgot how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrew: (winking and pounding his forehead): Oh, I guessed! Grandfather - under the arm! He speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great you came up with it - funny and with a riddle!
Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. You didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Yes, even dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller was found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrew(to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't even laugh?
Scene "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters : teacher and class students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov raises his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Kosichkin's student: These are the forests in which ... it's good to take a nap.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Simakov's student: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to a person?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers did you read?
Apprentice Petukhov: "Frog traveler"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev raises his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that humans evolved from monkeys?
Teacher: Truth.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it entirely depends on the cat.
Teacher: Go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (going to the blackboard): The length of a crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you're saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer why people need nervous system?
Student Khomyakov A: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt the amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird with a straw in its beak flies?
Student Belkov raises his hand above all.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, which teeth appear last in a person?
Teplyakov's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very complex issue, for the correct answer I will immediately put the top five with a plus. And the question is: "Why European time ahead of the American?
Student Klyushkin raises his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I have no idea who you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the board to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Disciple Trushkin goes to the board.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How...
Disciple Trushkin heads for the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know math!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please tell me what is three times seven?
Student of Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Disciple Ivanov: And mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 on your own.
Students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentiev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he's cheating from me, and I'm just checking whether he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is mathematical Greek.
Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned homework. Whoever goes to answer first will get a point higher.
Disciple Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I'll be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, word for word is similar to Ivanov's essay!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why is it not finished?
Student of Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Pupil Koshkin: I do not know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word "egg", Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why not?
Student Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Apprentice Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" - male, and "stocking" - female.
Teacher: Why?
Apprentice Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates and the student writes: "Dad went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad - subject, left - predicate, in the garage - ... preposition.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkin's student raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Tyulkin's student: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral "three".
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitwear factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down the proposal.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies nets.
The student Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where did you see bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Bags, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, give me your example now.
Apprentice Petushkov: Cat dog.
Teacher: And what about the "cat - dog"?
Apprentice Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student of Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time at recess!
Teacher: Stop immediately! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Student of Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What about you?
Student of Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student of Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, call!
Scene "Schoolboy and seller"
Characters: schoolboy and shop assistant
Shop assistant: What do you suggest?
Schoolboy: Years of reign of Nicholas II?
Shop assistant: Do not know.
Schoolboy: Okay… Pythagorean theorem?
Shop assistant: … (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Shop assistant: (sighing) I don't know...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you climbing then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"
Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant
A group of young fans led by a leader chanting loudly:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the stadium informant turns on:
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAK IS A ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAK IS A ROMAN SLAVE!"
Scene "Division with check"
Characters
Katya - 9 years old,
Luda is her older sister.
Katya (sings and dances).
I dance - hands on hips,
Prepared lessons.
Tra-la-la! Tra-la-la!
Luda (offstage). Have you solved the problem?
Katia. I have already read the problem, the problem is very easy, and I will solve it now.
Luda. Rather decide, and then you will dance.
Katya sits down at the table, takes a textbook, a pen, begins to read the problem. He writes, looks back, writes again, reads the task. Decides. He puts his head on the table and cries loudly. Enter Luda.
Luda. Katya, what happened? What happened to you?
Katia. The task doesn't work.
Luda. How does it not come out? She's hard, isn't she? Don't know how to do it?
Katia. No, I know, but it doesn't.
Luda. How so? Do you know how to do it, but it doesn't work? If it doesn't work, then you're doing it wrong. Well, show me what kind of task this is. Read the condition.
Kate (reading). For 8 meters of silk they paid 40 rubles. How much is one meter?
Luda. And you can't solve this problem?
Katia. If 40 rubles are paid for 8 meters, then they will pay 8 times less for 1 meter. I divided 40 by 8.
Luda. Right, right! How is it not coming out? Must come out! How much did you get?
Luda. What? 41! Ha ha ha! Well, shared, nothing to say! Come on, share it again.
Katya comes up to the board, performs division into a column.
Katia. We divide 40 by 8, we get 4. Four times eight - 32. Subtract 32 from 40, it will be 8. Divide eight by 8, we get 1. One meter will cost 41 rubles.
Luda. Yes, you understand yourself, 8 meters cost 40 rubles, and I meter - 41 rubles! Can it be?
Katia. This is what I don't understand. Explain to me Luda!
Luda. Let us first of all try to make sure that you divided correctly. How to check division?
Katia. To find the dividend, you need to multiply the divisor by the quotient.
Luda. Well, multiply it.
Katya (writes multiplication in a column on the board). Eight times 1 is 8. 4 times 8 is 32. 8 and 2 is ten. We write 0, and 1 in the mind. 3 yes 1 - 4, total 40.
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Luda. Here we checked. However, the answer to the question is incorrect. (Thinking.) In-te-re-sno! After all, you got the right numbers!
Katia. Well, faithful! The answer is 5, and I have 41. How are they correct?
Luda. But after you get 4 and 1, add them up and you get 5! If you don't understand, they will explain to you. (Points to the auditorium.) But I have no time, I have to prepare lessons.
Scene "Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn donkey"
They told him:
And he said:
They told him:
Isn't it wonderful weather today?
And he said:
It will rain soon.
No one could talk to Alphabet the donkey. The op would have overstretched anyone.
Somehow the little piggy Button came to the donkey.
Piglet Button. You, donkey, are stubborn, and I am even more stubborn than you!
Donkey Alphabet. No, Button, I'm the most stubborn!
Piglet Button takes out an apple from his pocket and puts it on the table.
Piglet Button. Let's decide this: whoever forces this apple to eat is the most stubborn one.
Donkey Alphabet. Let's. Only I don't want to eat an apple.
Piglet Button. And you try.
Donkey Alphabet. I won't try.
Piglet Button. Well, at least take a bite.
Donkey Alphabet. Bite yourself.
Piglet Button. But it's tasteless.
Donkey Alphabet. What a delicious one!
Piglet Button. If it's tasty, then I'll eat it!
Donkey Alphabet. No, I'll eat!
Piglet Button. No, me!
Donkey Alphabet. No, me!
The donkey grabs an apple and starts eating it on both cheeks.
Piglet Button. You see, I've got you all the same! I made you eat an apple.
Scene "Composition"
Characters
Lena,
her mother.
Olya is Lena's classmate.
Room. Lena is sitting at the table, she is writing an essay.
Lena. How do I help my mom? The writing". (From afar, apparently from the neighbors, the sounds of a tape recorder are heard - performed by Alla Pugacheva, the song “I so want the summer to never end.”) essays for you! (Reads the title again.) "How I Help Mom." How can I help? And when to help here, if they ask so much at home!
Mom enters the room.
Mother. Sit, sit, I won't disturb you, I'll just clean up the room a little. (Wipes dust.)
Lena (begins to write). “I help my mom with the housework. I clean the apartment, wipe the dust off the furniture with a rag.
Mother. Why are you throwing your clothes all over the room? (Starts to put things in their places.)
Lena (writes). "I'm putting things in their places."
Mother. By the way, your apron should be washed.
Lena (writes). "I'm washing clothes." (Thinking.) "And I'm stroking." Mom, a button on my dress came off. (Adds.) "Sew on buttons, if necessary."
Mom sews on a button, then goes out, returns with a bucket and a mop. Pushing the chairs back, he wipes the floor.
Mother. Come on, put your feet up.
Lena. Mom, you're bothering me! (Raising his legs, he finishes writing.) "My floors."
Mom (sighing). Oh, I have potatoes on the stove! (Runs into the kitchen.)
Lena. "I'm peeling potatoes and making dinner."
Mother. Lena, have dinner!
Lena. Now! (He leans back in his chair, stretches.)
The doorbell rings. Lena's classmate, Olya, enters the room.
Olya. I do not for a long time. Mom sent for bread, and I decided on the way - to you.
Lena (taking a pen, finishing writing). “I go to the store for bread and other products.”
Olya. Are you writing an essay? Let me see. (Looks into the notebook, bursts out laughing.) Well, you give! Yes, this is not true! You wrote it all!
Lena. Who said you can't compose? After all, that's why it's called: so-chi-no-no-e!
Scene "In the director's office"
Characters:
Director. Bryukvin is a student.
Director. Oh, is that you, Bryukvin? Come in, come in, I've been waiting for you for a long time. You see, what an honor you are: the director of the school himself put aside his affairs in order to talk with you!
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. Yeah, the cat knows whose meat it ate! So, do you have any idea what the conversation will be about?
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. We have already heard this. Here is a list of your adventures before me. Just some mythological hero! Twelve Labors of Hercules!
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. Let's start on the first of April. You weren't at school that day. That's what the teachers thought. But in fact, you spent all the lessons under your desk - it was your "April Fool's joke" ...
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. On April 4, on Monday, at a physical education lesson, you threw a briefcase of Student Anya Karnaukhova into a basketball basket, which fell on the head of your classmate Petukhov!
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. On April 6, in a history lesson, you made a sensational discovery: it turns out that the Decembrists got their name because they were all born in December!
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. On April 11, during recess, you demonstrated karate techniques, as a result of which you broke through the partition with your foot and flew into the teachers' room!
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. On Tuesday, April twelfth, you climbed into the chemistry room and tried to dissolve in nitric acid his diary, but, fortunately, no suitable dishes were found.
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. A week later, on the nineteenth, the Russian language teacher asked you to write today's number on the blackboard. And you, without hesitation, wrote: “Today is a fluorine, the 12th of April,” which caused a heart attack in Lyudmila Arkadyevna.
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. Yesterday at the lesson of literature you got two "deuces" at once. One for prompting, and the second for prompting incorrectly: in your opinion, it turns out that Mumu is the nickname of a cow that drowned itself, unable to withstand the tyranny of the lady ...
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
Director. Well, what should I do with you, Bryukvin ?! But if you want, you can study well. For example, last month you received a well-deserved "five" in mathematics!
Bryukvin. I will no longer...
