1) unpredictable polar mood swings (from good to bad; and also, if suddenly his mood changes from bad to unjustified joyful euphoria);
2) unexpected reactions to you or other people (behaves not logically, but unexpectedly or too impulsively);
3) facial expressions and gestures do not correspond to what is happening (excessive theatricality, twitchiness, excessive gesticulation, or vice versa, a strange calmness in an inappropriate environment, a stopped unblinking look of a "boa constrictor" right in your eyes);
4) interrupts the interlocutors, does not listen to their arguments and opinions, does not listen to others at all, or voices his point of view out of topic, sometimes categorically declares a completely inappropriate opinion or transfers the topic of conversation in general in a different direction;
5) talks more about himself;
6) uses obscene language, rude slang expressions, or generally uses out of place expressions, uses defiantly abstruse phrases in ordinary everyday conversation (for example, you are discussing that who is planning to cook what for dinner today and your new acquaintance says: "I noticed that any individual in a state of mental discomfort is capable of not controlling his the cognitive dissonance, so sometimes he does not know what he should have done.");
7) inappropriate style of clothing for certain circumstances, frilly, overly flashy clothing;
8) defiant appearance, dyed hair in a bright color or a strange hairstyle;
9) in men - excessive piercing, earrings in the ears, rings on the fingers or a lot of tattoos all over the body, not to mention scarring (this will also be immediately visible in the camera.) Therefore, we often say - look at the man in the camera and draw conclusions!
Remember! It is impossible to designate an inadequate person by one or two signs if you are not a specialist in the field of psychology. And each of all these "red flags" can only be a feature of his personality.
Perhaps often we call inadequate people if we see only a discrepancy with our expectations. Therefore, be observant, but kind to people. Be respectful of those with whom you communicate, but do not need excessive unsolicited compassion to the detriment of yourself!
But, before you conclude that a person is inadequate, try to understand exactly YOUR attitude towards this. Not imposed by society or acquaintances. And if you like a person, then you can try to understand the reasons for it. inappropriate behavior and don't rush to conclusions or decisions. There were times when all friends dissuaded a girl from a relationship with a man, but she followed the call of her heart, eventually got married, left for the USA and gave birth to a child. Although I didn’t even expect that I could ever get married at all. So, everything is individual. Be vigilant, do not succumb to virtual seducers, do not send money to anyone you know on the Internet, do not meet with those who are disgusting to you, do not pay anything for men, do not swear with anyone. And the rest - everything is fixable.
A person’s inadequacy has a lot of reasons, we do not know the details of his childhood and the methods of parenting, the individual characteristics of his personality, level of education and physiology. Unless, of course, it is not blatantly inadequate, so that it hurts your eyes, hearing, and generally causes complete disgust. There is only one conclusion - to run away from this and try not to contact under any circumstances. No patience, fall in love. This is what it means to listen to your heart.
A person, in addition to the five sense organs, has characteristics, as signs that speak of the level of development of his personality. These are: intellect, spirituality, will, psyche, mentality, talent, skills and abilities, appearance, etc.
We learn the degree of personality development through behavior.
We have compiled types of behavior that, in our opinion, clearly indicate the inadequacy of the individual. We do not evaluate behavior, we evaluate the psychosomatic symptoms of personality - signs of underdevelopment of the personality, which are manifested through behavior.
1. A person keeps animals in a city apartment: large dogs or many cats.
- Man from the world of animals. Such a person does not measure the purpose of the place and the manner of behavior. Doesn't know that the habitat of different creatures should be divided. He does not think about what his animals can create serious problems for those around you.
Very often this is the realization of an unsatisfied maternal instinct.
2. A person is able to steal someone else's, capable of taking over and appropriating someone else's.
- such a person believes that they become the owner of things after this thing is in his hands and the method of taking possession does not matter to them. His consciousness is at the level of the Papuans of New Guinea.
3. A person scolds, scolds, insults and blames others.
Usually occurs in a state of emotional arousal and is more of a symptom
aggressiveness, irritability and dissatisfaction with the development of events against the background of the fact that a person is not able to critically evaluate himself and tries to convince everyone that others are to blame.
4. The person is lying. Equally: pretending, feigning.
- such a person lives in an unreal world and tries to settle others in it. In addition, planting delusions, he often tries to use a false situation in his favor.
Such people without a real image. They are amused by the distorted, perverted picture of the world.
They do not look in the face, but go behind the back. They say one thing, but do another and think - the third.
5. The person drinks or smokes.
is a sign of low self-esteem. Indifference to what he does. Does what he wants.
Is addicted in behavior, but does not know about it. Destroys itself.
Annoyed at the lack of doping.
6. A person beats others.
- such a person is at a very low animal level and usually has a distinctively animal, bodily development - this is when the body has physically developed at the expense of everything else. They usually state their arguments poorly, are not capable of creativity - they have a predatory nature. Especially unworthy among them are those who beat women and children. Those who beat their children, for example, believe that their children are their property and they have an undeniable right
use physical methods of education.
7. The person is religious.
- Believes in the secret, but not the obvious. Mystified. We inspire. His model of the world: the shepherd and the flock.
At a low level, such a person is not independent, he does not want to shape his own destiny, but prefers to obey the will of another - usually in his imagination of a higher being. He lives by the principle of repetition, similarity, dependence, expectation. Inclined to the principle of secondary existence. On the high level religiosity is the result of a higher knowledge of the causality of being, and this can tear him away from reality, make him thin and vulnerable in nature.
8. Authoritarianism.
- a person has a desire to command and manage others. Usually without receiving indulgences from others. The thirst for power and the euphoria of gain is a strong feeling that is built on the satisfaction of selfishness. A person who knows power over others runs the risk of living in an egocentric world. The desire for power is stronger than other desires and passions: the passion for money, fame, gluttony and voluptuousness. The world and man are ruled, and those who have power ascribe to themselves the divine ordination. Usually they do not know the boundaries in this. arrange for others a dependent and defenseless position and can be very dangerous.
9. A man cuts down trees.
It's an example of a person who doesn't understand what they're doing. The company of such people is doomed, like the inhabitants of Easter Island.
10. Man goes hunting and killing animals.
- A person hunts either for food or for sport. If a person goes hunting without the need for food, this person is dangerous both for others and for himself - he can cross the line at any time and start shooting at himself or at people.
Usually a hunter-athlete realizes in himself the passion of a hunter or a predator.
Usually they do not want to hear anything about the moral side of the murder - they are cynical, like predators. Whoever robs another of the right to life, of course, will not leave him the right to vote.
The hunter believes that the animal is at the lowest unconscious stage of development (but it is not). In fact, there is no difference in nature and every form of life is equivalent.
11. A person feels the need to judge others. Not to condemn, namely to arrange a court with a sentence and execution with punishment.
Moreover, usually next to such a need is not the presence of guilt, but simply the difference in behavior, and sometimes the presence of another is enough.
Their court procedure is short, and the punishment is ritual and indicative.
Such people experience constant displeasure with everything and everyone and see the strengthening of discipline and order in the fear of others before punishment. And, of course, they only see themselves as the undisputed judge.
12. Man - openly shows his disrespect for the law and routine. (deviant behavior) Such a person himself is not organized inside and usually has an advantage over others in strength, which he wants to realize.
There are many other well-known types of inappropriate behavior, manias and phobias:
- a person does not take care of himself, is unclean or litters around;
- collects all sorts of junk and drags everything into his home;
- vandalism. prone to destruction. A person lives in another world and the world that surrounds him does not correspond to him, irritates him and he wants to destroy him. So people of chaos destroy the world of civilization.
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Most of a person's behavior is motivated by his egoism and corresponds to the level of his mental and spiritual development.
Those with inappropriate behavior usually deny it. Their behavior seems normal to them and they give a lot of far-fetched reasons and excuses.
Inadequate - here inappropriate. And the answer to the question "inappropriate for what?" has many options. Basic: inappropriate to its highest and reasonable purpose.
Reviews
"In addition to the five sense organs, a person has characteristics, as signs that speak of the level of development of his personality."
The first sentence is the business card of the article.
What kind of "characteristics" does a person have besides five senses? I suspect that this is not a heuristic term of the author, but a banal typo. Confirm or refute me, Nikolai.
"Characteristics as signs" - how to understand this?
General conclusion: the beginning of the business card article is crumpled, the thought is slurred.
Nikolai, the man began to cut down trees, still with a stone axe! Probably, this is not the crime that dooms humanity, but the fact that the cut down areas of forests are not restored. Give Finland a chance - there is deforestation and new afforestation there!
"A society of such people" is stylistically illiterate. "Society of people"? The phrase should be brought to the norms of the Russian language, Nikolai.
The tenth point of your "characteristics", Nikolai, knocked me down:
“If a person walks around without a need for food, this person is dangerous both for others and for himself - he can cross the line at any time and start shooting at himself or at people.
Usually a hunter-athlete realizes in himself the passion of a hunter or a predator.
Bryaknuv, as if with a mallet in a copper basin, Nikolai, you declared the Russian classics dangerous maniacs: Turgenev, Aksakov, Nekrasov and hundreds of other wonderful writers, politicians and ordinary readers.
What nonsense!
You confuse hunters and poachers, Nikolai! About the manic tendencies of hunters, I will not say anything, leaving this statement to your conscience.
I'm more than disappointed, Nikolai.
Thank you, the sixth point of your classification of human "characteristics" amused:
"A person beats others.
- such a person is at a very low animal level and usually has a distinctively animal, bodily development - this is when the body has physically developed at the expense of everything else.
Now I am protected from surprises: as soon as a "physically developed" groom comes to woo my daughter, I will take him away, but carefully, otherwise he will beat me too. :)
Your attitude towards hunters is subjective, Nikolai. You have little idea what a huge job they do to preserve the fauna of our forests and fields: they feed them in starvation, settle where the livestock has disappeared, carry out sanitary shooting of excessively bred foxes, wolves, rabies carriers.
Believe or check my words: NOT HUNTERS ARE THE CAUSE OF THE CATASTROPHIC DISAPPEARANCE OF WHOLE SPECIES OF ANIMALS AND BIRDS, BUT THE THOUGHTS OF USE OF CHEMISTRY AND THE EXPANSION OF HUMANS IN THE ENVIRONMENT.
I repeat, by indiscriminately accusing all hunters of inadequacy and declaring them potential killers, you insulted them all, including the famous hunters I named. It doesn't go through any gates.
How often do we exclaim: “It is impossible to understand this person - he behaves inappropriately!” or we remember a friend: “After talking with her, I feel broken ...” Our psyche is structured like this: the first thing she does is try to find an excuse from a set of things and phenomena she knows. It turns out a whole list: bad upbringing or character, “he’s just a bore, what can you do”, “she is a great original” ... When such manifestations become more peculiar, we wonder - maybe it’s not about character after all and this is scientific explanation? Indeed, the cause of inappropriate behavior can be a psychological trauma that a person received in early childhood. As a rule, he is not aware of it, but it affects behavior in adulthood. Consider the three most common types: toxic, neurotic and dependent person.
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Photo gallery: Inappropriate behavior as a result of psychological trauma
NEGATIVE AND PROVOCATION
Often we are faced with a situation where some acquaintance (or in general stranger) dumps on us a stream of completely unnecessary to us, and sometimes simply negative information. Imagine, you come to a beauty salon to get a new haircut, and the master, while working, begins to tell you about how everything in his life is bad: the children do not want to study, and the husband earns little, and the dog spoils the furniture ... You sit, you agree, but you yourself think when this verbal flood will end. And after you leave the salon, you feel squeezed out like a lemon, although before going to the hairdresser you were in a cheerful and cheerful mood.
Who is in front of you?
This type is characterized by generalized names: a toxic personality or a psychological "vampire". characteristic feature- you feel a strong energy weakness. When communicating, you understand that he is not interested in you - anyone could be in your place. Toxic people only talk about themselves and never listen to the opinions of others. They are never, nothing and no one satisfies. They criticize, judge, gossip, or need your help, and more often than not, urgently. Often they seem to “roll” over others, humiliating and insulting along the way. At the same time, they do it as if nothing had happened - from their point of view, within the framework of secular conversation.
So, one friend always says at a meeting: “You look tired ... Your skin is bad, gray. Didn't get enough rest? And you can’t get rid of dandruff, right?” It is clear that the mood after such a “compliment” disappears like a balloon accidentally released by a child ... Many, seeing this woman, cross to the other side of the street. But you can feel sorry for her: unenviable appearance, inability to dress beautifully, dissatisfaction with work (instead of the career of a singer, which she dreamed of, the position of a nurse) and personal life. It seems that she is constantly afraid that she will be asked why she no longer sings and why her husband left her? That's why he attacks first. The method of toxic people is a provocation to negative emotions.
Why did they become like this?They have the wrong set of behavior in society, and the roots of the problem should be looked for in childhood. "Toxicity" can be the result of a person's internal troubles - he sees a dirty trick everywhere, relaxes with difficulty and never opens up to others. He takes a defensive position in relation to others, but often attacks first.
How do you behave?
If it's a colleague, keep your distance. Does he complain to you about another employee? Say, "You'd better take this to your boss" or "Maybe you should see a psychologist?" It is unlikely that he will do this (remember that they only hear themselves - they are not interested in your opinion), but this way you will save yourself from negative impact. Speak politely and smile - this is the last thing a toxic person expects. Ideally, you should not let such a person into your life. If he calls often, don't pick up the phone. Having launched into explanations why you do not want to communicate, he will still get what he needs - your reaction. Don't become a victim by arguing with him. If his hairpins don't cause an effect, he will soon stop provoking you.
LOVE DEMAND
"Mom," a 5-year-old girl addresses her mother, "can I play in the sandbox?" - "No, you can get your dress dirty." - "Can I play with the children in the yard?" "No, I don't want you to become ill-mannered like them." - "Can I have ice cream?" - "No, you can catch a cold in your throat." - "Will I play with this puppy?" - "No, he might have worms." At the end of this dialogue, the child begins to cry, and the mother, turning to a friend, with whom she was talking enthusiastically all this time and simultaneously answering her daughter’s questions: “I have such a nervous girl! I can’t stand her constant whims anymore!”
Who is in front of you?
neurotic personality. In the past, people like this mom were called "too demanding," "overly suspicious," and "anxious." At the heart of neurosis lies an internal conflict.
Sigmund Freud believed that here lies the struggle of the repressed (instincts) and repressing forces (culture, morality). And neo-Freudian Karen Horney believed that "neurosis arises only if this conflict gives rise to anxiety." A neurotic personality is always trying to attract attention to itself - with tantrums (hysterical neurosis), fears and phobias (anxious-phobic), weakness (neurasthenia).
Why did they become like this?Neurotic people look for problems, not solutions, discuss difficulties, find new obstacles. Anxiety makes you worry about loved ones, while limiting their actions. At the core is the feeling that others are inattentive to them and do not understand them at all. It is believed that a neurotic person received psychological trauma in early childhood, which she could not cope with, and, due to helplessness, reacted with increased anxiety. The desire to be accepted by others drives her into adulthood.
How do you behave?
The demand for love that we may feel has nothing to do with you. A neurotic personality projects onto you the image of one of the parents, whose attention she lacked. Therefore, your love will never be enough for her. Sometimes you will have the impression that after talking with her you are very tired, or become aggressive for no apparent reason. This is a sign that you need to take care of yourself now. “Give out” attention in a dosed manner - your resources will not be enough for a long time.
REGARDLESS
It was very difficult for a woman to communicate with her older sister all her life - there is a 10-year difference between them. The first has a family: husband and children. The elder sister is divorced and lives separately. And every evening she calls the younger one to consult on certain issues. Moreover, she does not ask for a recommendation directly, but rather asks a question and waits for someone to tell her what to do - from what to buy in the store to whether it is necessary to meet new customers about whom the youngest knows nothing ...
Who is in front of you?
Dependent person. Their basic need is to shift most of the decisions and responsibility for their lives onto others. They constantly hesitate when it is necessary to express an opinion, they cannot make a final decision, even when it is obvious. It seems to them that they will still make a mistake or choose the wrong one. They live with a feeling of emptiness, so if such a person breaks up with a partner, he will certainly need to fill it with someone or something else.
Why did they become like this?
At the heart of this is the psychological trauma that they most likely received in early childhood. The parents of the dependent person probably separated and, without explaining to the child what happened, left him to himself. In fact, he was left alone, and loneliness for a baby is tantamount to death. Therefore, in adulthood, he is also driven by the fear of global loneliness and the need to make decisions on his own ... Just like in childhood, when none of the adults were around.
How do you behave?
If your relative or girlfriend fits this description, then you already know what is happening to them and what could have preceded this. Be attentive to such a person, but defend personal boundaries - the addict easily breaks them. Do not go on about - reduce advice to a minimum, do not let shift all responsibility on you. You will not replace your parents for him, but instead of your life you will live someone else's.
A difficult character is, in essence, an inadequacy of response and, accordingly, unpredictability.
They don’t joke with fire, not because he doesn’t understand jokes, but because fire has an inadequate reaction to jokes
Sometimes pointless fear develops into pointless panic;
panic is accompanied by inadequate forms.
It is not enough to find a non-standard solution,
We still need to find an inadequate performer.
The world is not to blame that EVERYONE perceives it in their own way, that is, inadequately.
If a person inadequately treats different personalities, if he is unfriendly to them
perceives, this is a sign that his understanding of friendship is very narrow.
And the narrower the understanding of friendship in a person, the easier it is to become his enemy.
Inadequacy as a quality of a person is the inability to correspond to something with words, actions, deeds.
Telephone conversation: Hello! Is this a repair shop? - Good afternoon! Yes. - My fridge is broken. Are you far away from him? — No, nearby. - Open the door and stick the tube inside so I can listen and see ... - Well, what do you say now? - What a moron you are!
In psychiatry, inadequacy is understood as the inconsistency of individual mental acts or their combination with external circumstances. For example, in schizophrenia, paranoia is characterized by emotional inadequacy, i.e. strange and incomprehensible emotional reactions to external events, or lack of reactions to events that should have caused them. In ordinary life, inadequacy of behavior is observed in people suffering from psycho-neurological pathology, alcohol and drug addiction, as well as in adolescence in the form of behavior deviating from social norms behavior.
Clinical manifestations of inadequacy are diagnosed by a specialist - a psychiatrist, and in everyday life - by anyone who is not satisfied with the behavior of another person. The pride of an egoist requires that everything must be controlled, people must live up to his expectations, must live according to his ideas about life, must be the same as him. They have no right to be different. If close people deviate from his model of the world, he is offended, condemns and tries to turn the tide. If others “sin” with freethinking, then they are inadequate.
The label "Inadequacy" can be attached to almost any person if his words and deeds do not fit into the picture of the world around him. A bunch of conformists, seeing dissent, will say that their actions are illogical, potentially dangerous and poorly predictable, and Voltaires, Copernicuses and Einsteins will instantly be enrolled in the “detachment of inadequate” human beings. Given our past with the "treatment" of dissent in an extensive system of psychiatric hospitals, people experience fear at the word "inadequacy". Serious mental illnesses are one thing, but they are well aware of the grave fateful consequences that an unfounded, undeserved or thoughtless accusation of a person of inappropriate behavior can lead to. An individual, according to conformists, is inadequate if she crossed the line, stood up for the flags. The party apparatus considered Vladimir Vysotsky inadequate, always kept a free bed for him in a psychiatric hospital, but was afraid of the dangerous “wolf”: “The wolf must not, cannot otherwise! Here my time ends. The one I'm destined for Smiled and raised his gun. I got out of control. For the flags - the thirst for life is stronger! Only from behind I joyfully heard the surprised cries of people.
Recently, an inconspicuous, humble person appeared in a Russian church who wished to serve at the altar completely disinterestedly - to serve a censer, to light candles. It was a St. Petersburg criminal authority, a thief in law and a successful businessman rolled into one. One glance of his led many in awe and horror. The priest says: “The Lord is merciful to everyone and wants to save everyone. He also knocked on the heart of a lost person, baptized in childhood, and awakened his conscience. This Authority frequented one of the cloisters, where he repeatedly confessed his gloomy deeds with tears, and grace touched him and began to visibly change: his face brightened, his behavior changed, in dealing with others and subordinates he became completely different. The abbot of the monastery blessed him to serve at the altar during the service. He began to give the priest a censer, clean the altar, and emphasized his reverence for the holy place by taking off his shoes from his feet when he entered the altar. Rumors spread around the city in certain circles: “Is it true,” the gangsters asked each other, “that our Authority serves in the temple?” “Yes,” answered the priests who knew this, “and we are very pleased with him.” The lads shook their heads meaningfully and wondered. But some time passed, and the Authority was shot from machine guns in his car in Moscow. There were reports in the newspapers that, they say, in the redistribution of the sphere of influence, such and such was killed, but it seems to me that this is not so. The thieves in the law of the spiritual growth of their comrade and boss could not forgive. It can be seen that it is one thing to shower the temple with money, to donate for the construction of chapels and temples, but to part with sins and change one's life is quite another. Giving money is one thing, but serving and cleaning the altar is another. They couldn't forgive him for that."
From the positions of the lads, the behavior of the thief in law was inadequate, and if so, there is nothing to disgrace the “glorious” name of the criminal Authority. As you know, people adhere to different concepts of happiness - for an alcoholic it is in a bottle, for a drug addict - in a dose, for a benevolent person - in selfless service to other people. Being on different life platforms, they classify each other's behavior in different ways. Inadequacy in everyday communication without taking into account the life concept of a person, the environment of which he is a representative, turns into the imposition of stereotypes, prejudices and dogmas. Put an American at the table, he and his feet on the table. If you don’t know that he is an American, why are you not a candidate for being inadequate? In other words, inadequacy, excluding clinical cases and the state of affect, is extremely subjective, tendentious and dependent on the life platform on which the “appraiser” stands.
In the series "Lone Wolf" there is such an episode. The good hero is kidnapped by representatives of the world of ignorance and forced to play Russian roulette under a gun in front of spectators who have made bets on life or death. Before the "performance" a prostitute is brought to his room. According to their expectations, the guy should immediately jump out of his shorts, and suddenly they see a refusal. This is shocking, and they conclude that it is inadequate. In this circle, his behavior did not fit into the framework of established and familiar concepts.
Almost everyone behaves inappropriately when frightened, strong fear, excitement. A person sometimes needs time to overcome sticky fear, to cope with strong excitement. The interval between the action of the stimulus and the reaction to it is the most favorable time for the manifestation of inadequacy. Most people overcome fear and excitement, returning to their usual adequate state.
Inadequacy manifests itself most clearly when a person cannot adapt to environment, adapt to different life situations. Parable in the context of this thesis. A crow sits on a tree. A hare runs past. He saw that the crow was sitting, shouting to her: - Crow, what are you doing there? - I'm not doing anything. “Oh, can I also sit here and do nothing?” - Go ahead, oblique! Well, the hare sat under a tree, also does nothing, it catches the buzz. But then suddenly a fox runs past, like a hare grabs by the side. The hare shouts to the crow: - Well, you promised that you could sit and do nothing! Crow: - Yes, but I forgot to add: in order to do nothing, you have to sit high!
Inadequacy is a deeply internal quality of a person, manifested in a persistent inability to correspond to something that worries and worries a person. Therefore, it is correct and correct to speak of internal inadequacy, when, for example, a person's actions do not agree with conscience. Inadequacy attributed from the outside, like a label, is just someone's subjective assessment, someone's preconceived opinion.
Internal inadequacy causes pangs of conscience, disagreements between the soul and the mind, constant skirmishes between the coveted mind and the impartial mind. For example, a person does not know how to control the “talk” of the mind. Thoughts hover in his head like a free bird and, without the participation of the mind, end up on the tongue. Having spoken nonsense, he then reproaches himself for incontinence, experiencing a state of internal inadequacy.
Inadequacy is defectiveness, ugliness of character or lack of "brakes" of conscience and reason. Adequacy is always the correspondence of something to something. If a person is at odds with his conscience and reason, then his actions do not meet their requirements, therefore, he is internally inadequate. What prevents him from being adequate to the voice of the heart and the requirements of the mind? First of all, selfishness. Ego strikes the mind and its tentacles - the feelings of a person, permeates all of his consciousness. Having committed some bad deed under the influence of selfish feelings and emotions, for example, deceit or treason, a person after a while hears the voice of conscience, experiences psychological discomfort. The content of his act does not meet the requirements of the internal controller - conscience, which is evidence of internal inadequacy.
Petr Kovalev
In life, people often face stressful situations that have a bad effect on their behavior. Some of these situations are temporary, while others can last for a long time, causing negative consequences.
Stressful situations can leave an imprint on a person's behavior for life, for example, an unhappy childhood. The loss loved one, divorce can seriously change behavior for a while, but after that most people come to their senses. The main sources of inappropriate behavior:
external circumstances.
Inner or emotional state.
External circumstances
Most people succeed when they feel that the situation is under control, and sometimes they can even foresee this or that development of events. In this case, events are perceived as a challenge requiring action. But behavior can change drastically if a person does not get everything the way he wanted. The main reasons for this:
everyday stress
Stress is a state where everything is out of control and seems unpredictable. Usually stress is caused by:
Difficulties at work. The discrepancy between individual skills and requirements causes a feeling of inferiority that depresses a person.
Family and personal problems. Health problems, a stormy romance or a family tragedy completely take over a person. He cannot think of anything else, concentrating his attention only on these problems.
Too many responsibilities. The need to meet standards, the tight deadlines for completing the task make people take on too many responsibilities. Fear that it is impossible to achieve what you want is bad for behavior.
We all react differently to the same stressful situations, but stressful situations affect all people in the same way.
Psychological trauma
Involvement in an incident, guilt or a threat to life can cause one type of stress - psychological trauma. The reaction to this situation is different, but basically people behave the same way. There can be three phases of behavior:
1. At first, the person gets upset and feels bad.
2. Then he becomes passive, does not want to do anything, but follows orders.
3. Then he becomes irritable, preoccupied and cannot concentrate, as a result of which he has a strong emotional reaction.
People differ from each other in that they come to their senses after an injury in different ways. Some recover quickly, while others do not; some recover completely, while others have a psychological trauma that leaves an imprint for the rest of their lives. You will be able to understand the behavior of another person and begin to treat him more condescendingly if you know about the psychological trauma he has suffered in the past.
Alcohol and drugs
Alcohol and drugs can seriously affect a person's behavior. Usually they are resorted to in order to cope with adverse circumstances. Under the influence of alcohol and drugs, it seems to a person that he experiences problems more easily. In some cases, they suppress the negative reaction and temporarily relieve the worries due to problems, and in some cases they stimulate vitality and add confidence.
Solving problems with the help of alcohol or drugs is associated with a Russian nesting doll: you open one doll - you see the next one, and so on. Each previous problem is directly related to the next one, but does not explain it. It is necessary to open the second, sixth, tenth to find out the reason.
internal state
Psychological condition people largely depends on their inner mood due to physical and chemical changes in the body. Often stress causes anxiety and depression.
Anxiety. Most people in threatening or stressful situations feel anxious and tense. This is a normal reaction. But if someone feels anxiety in situations that others can easily cope with, then it is necessary to pay attention to this, because this is already a real problem.
People who are constantly feeling anxious are always in a tense state. Most of the time they feel bad, afraid stressful situations. Concern about all sorts of problems does not allow you to concentrate and make some kind of decision. Such people often ask themselves questions: “Could I have foreseen the consequences?”, “Did I turn off the light in the bathroom?”
Despite the presence of a reason for such behavior (negative experience in the past, mental discomfort that prevents blocking feelings of concern in case of inadequate reaction to what is happening), it is necessary to understand that, although a person tries to control him, he does not succeed.
Depression. Few of us can live our whole life in peace, without thinking about anything. It is not surprising that we feel despair or become depressed, sad because of events that upset or disturb us. But sometimes depression becomes chronic due to the fact that a person has been in a tense environment for a long time and cannot do anything or simply cannot control his emotions. It turns out a vicious circle: a person cannot get out of depression and from this becomes even more depressed. In this state it is impossible to concentrate, it seems that you are not able to change anything, that there is no future. All persuasions and requests to “stop thinking like that, discard bad thoughts and start acting” remain ineffective. All that can be done for such people is to treat them with understanding and compassion.
Signs of inappropriate behavior
First you need to find out the causes of an inadequate state, to recognize the signs that signal that a person has a problem.
In order to understand that a person is behaving unusually, it is necessary to know what his behavior is normally. If a person does not look like himself for a long time, then this is a sign that he is not all right. Such warning signals can be, for example:
Being late for work before a completely punctual person;
Indifference to everything usually cheerful and energetic person;
Manifestations of irritability for any reason before a completely balanced personality;
The untidy appearance of a usually immaculate-looking person;
Unusual forgetfulness and neglect of details in a person who is scrupulous to the smallest detail;
Absent-mindedness and confusion in a well-organized personality;
Anxiety and sadness in a carefree and cheerful person.
All of these signs signal personal problems, which are usually temporary, but in some cases can develop into permanent ones. Such changes are more often interpreted as a loss of interest in work or laziness. But such an interpretation of the signs that signal stress does not allow us to understand the true causes of behavior change.
Passion for alcohol
Signs of addiction to alcohol are not so easy to notice, because the behavior of a person under the influence of alcohol is not always different from the usual. But there are some signs you need to pay attention to, namely:
Unpredictable and inconsistent activity: one day a person works actively and efficiently, the next - just wasting time.
He often has unexplained "accidents";
He often has incomprehensible mood changes: today he is in a good mood, sociable, joking, and tomorrow he is gloomy and depressed (the mood can change several times a day);
The person is often sick (colds, abdominal pain) or often takes days off;
Invites others to drink during lunch break or after the end of the work day.
It is very difficult to determine whether a person is abusing alcohol or not, because some people are good at hiding it. Therefore, it is advisable to analyze all the results of observation of behavior and take into account the comments of other people. One identified case may not be enough to suspect someone of alcohol abuse. But, if there are many such cases, it is necessary to pay attention and think about it. Conclusions should be drawn very carefully, because similar symptoms can signal other problems (constant irritability at work may indicate a tendency to gamble or use drugs).
Therefore, before drawing any conclusion, you need to weigh all the evidence. If necessary, seek expert advice.
Drawing conclusions
Inappropriate behavior can be caused by various reasons. People react differently to circumstances, so it is not easy to determine the cause of their discomfort. Knowing some of the causes of inappropriate behavior helps to better understand the other person.
Ask yourself
Analyze how stress can affect people's behavior and answer the following questions:
^ Do you think that people can become depressed if things get out of their control?
^ Do you understand that psychological trauma can affect a person's behavior?
^ Do you acknowledge that some people abuse alcohol because they think it's easier to deal with problems?
^ Do you agree that anxiety and stress can influence behavior?
^ Do you think behavior change is a sign of stress?
^ Do you always notice that someone behaves in a way that is not typical for him?
Everything will work out if…
Recognize that everyday stress can affect people's behavior;
Be aware of the destructive effect of psychological trauma;
Understand that anxiety can change behavior for the worse;
Accept that depression does not allow people to control what is happening;
Understand that very often the presence of problems causes people to abuse alcohol;
Notice that someone's behavior is significantly different from the usual;
Understand that changes in behavior can signal that a person is under stress.
