In everything! - It's about amazing Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya!

* When they brought to Moscow " Sistine Madonna Everyone went to look at her. Faina Georgievna heard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the picture did not impress him. Ranevskaya remarked:
“This lady has impressed such people for so many centuries that now she herself has the right to choose whom she impresses and who not!”

*God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

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*Such an ass is called an ass toy.

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*What, in your opinion, women tend to be more fidelity - brunettes or blondes?
Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray-haired!”

*Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

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* The pressure of beauty can not hold back anything! (Looking at the hole in her skirt)

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*Kritikessy - Amazons in menopause.

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*When the jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.

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* With such an ass, you should stay at home!

About health:

* To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."

*What I do? I pretend to be healthy.

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* I feel bad.

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*Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

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* If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

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*Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

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About old age:

Old age is when it's not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality. I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.

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Old age is just disgusting. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!

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My God, how life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.

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Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.

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When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."

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Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

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Old age is the time when the candles are on birthday cake cost more than the pie itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.

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About work:

The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)

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Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

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When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.

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I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

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I am a local actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..

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I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

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I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

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I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

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Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

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How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors. We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that! I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"

Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

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He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

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Pee-pee in a tram is all he did in art.

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I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.

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The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands. Everything will be real, ”Ranevskaya reassures her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.

About me and life:

All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.

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I am a social psychopath. Komsomol girl with an oar. You can feel me in the subway. It's me standing there, half bowed, in a bathing cap and copper panties, into which all the Octobrists strive to climb. I work in the metro as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.

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Companion of glory - loneliness.

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You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.

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I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

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Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movies, too, Gangsters.

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In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.

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Loneliness is a condition that cannot be cured.

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Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.

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Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.

On various topics:

Spelling errors in a letter are like bed bugs on a white blouse.

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A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.

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I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.

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Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.

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I don't see faces, but personal insults.

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So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.

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A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.

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It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

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Do you understand my shallow thought?

A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.

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Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

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You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we were in big trouble. (About Lenin)

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This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.

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You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom. “Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?”

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An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: then she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her "the victim of HeraSima."

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Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why beautiful women are more successful than smart ones? - It's obvious, because there are very few blind men, and stupid men are a dime a dozen.

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How many times does a woman blush in her life? - Four times: on the wedding night, when she cheats on her husband for the first time, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time.
And the man?

- Twice: the first time - when the second cannot, the second - when the first cannot.

Ranevskaya with all her family and huge luggage arrives at the station. “It's a pity that we didn't take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“Not witty,” one of the escorts remarks.

“It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.

Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. The Moscow City Council, where Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya worked (and with whom she had a far from cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the actress: “Faina Georgievna, you gobbled up all my directorial idea with your game!” “I feel like I ate shit!” - retorted Ranevskaya.

Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females. - How did you determine this? - Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three on a mirror, - Faina Georgievna explained.

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Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna said to him: “For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.

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Actors discuss at a troupe meeting of a comrade who is accused of homosexuality: "This is the corruption of youth, this is a crime."
- My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot dispose of his ass, Ranevskaya sighed.

Women are a hundred times smarter. Show at least one lady who suddenly lost her head from slender male legs. There are no such unique individuals of the weaker sex in nature, unlike men.

Homosexuality is nothing. Here is ballet on slippery ice, or grass hockey - this is a real perversion! – Faina Ranevskaya

In the dressing room, naked Ranevskaya sat down on an ottoman and lit a cigarette. A male director enters to wish Faina success. Pause. The director was taken aback, to which the actress, after a long silence, said: “I want to apologize for the cigarette smoke and other inconveniences.”

An employee of the radio station was always preoccupied with a difficult relationship with her lover Sima. He continued to meet, but categorically did not take obligations to the girl. They constantly converged, diverged, quarreled over trifles, the girl had abortions, but she did not leave Sima. Ranevskaya felt sorry for the girl, affectionately calling him a victim of HeraSima.

Looking at the torn skirt, Ranevskaya said: “Beauty will cut its way. It is impossible to keep the beautiful within the narrow limits of what is permitted!”

Everything will be real. And pearls in the first act, and a capsule with poison in the finale!

Continuation best aphorisms and quotes from Faina Ranevskaya read on the pages:

You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.

Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:

Do you understand my shallow thought?

Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we were in big trouble. (About Lenin)

What I do? I pretend to be healthy.

The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)

Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray-haired!”

I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

Old age is just bullshit. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.

This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.

With such an ass, you should stay at home!

But how. When I was young, I had to undress every time I went to the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.

My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.

I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.

I play the role of eggs: I participate, but do not enter.

If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.

God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite is true.

Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions Ranevskaya strictly explains: There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.

I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!

Faina, her old friend asks, do you think medicine is making progress?

In the carriage compartment, an annoying fellow traveler is trying to talk to Ranevskaya.

On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.

If I kept a diary, I would write down one phrase every day: What mortal anguish, that's all.

A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.

Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.

Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movies, too, Gangsters.

I receive letters: Help me become an actor. Answer: God help!

Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

I am a social psychopath. Komsomol girl with an oar. You can feel me in the subway. It's me standing there, half bowed, in a bathing cap and copper panties, into which all the Octobrists strive to climb. I work in the metro as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.

There are no fat women, there are small clothes.

Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.

Come, I will show you photographs of unknown people's artists of the USSR, - Ranevskaya called to herself.

I do not recognize the word play. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.

Young man! I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!

Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.

Once Ranevskaya, picking up the phone, heard the voice of one of her fans, which was very annoying to her, and said: Sorry, I can’t continue the conversation. I'm talking from a machine, and there's a big line here.

All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.

Criticesses are Amazons in menopause.

On my tombstone, write Died of disgust.

I am a local actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..

Such an ass is called ass-playing.

Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.

Because white is fat.

I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

To the question: Are you sick, Faina Georgievna? - she usually answered: No, I just look like that.

Companion of glory - loneliness.

Loneliness is a condition that cannot be cured.

It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong expressions, and when she was remarked that there is no word zho-pa in the literary Russian language, she answered - strange, there is no word, but there is zho-pa ...

The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands.

Everything will come true, you just have to lose your will...

Pee-pee in a tram - all that he did in art.

Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? once asked Ranevskaya.

Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself!

Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.

Ranevskaya stood completely naked in her make-up room. And smoked. Suddenly, Valentin Shkolnikov, managing director of the Mossovet Theater, entered without knocking. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: Doesn't it shock you that I smoke?

An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him + Ranevskaya called her a victim of HeraSima.

A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men, said Ranevskaya.

Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors.

Here's a cucumber. If you want to eat it, if you want, live with it..

Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

Talent is like a wart - you either have it or you don't.

I feel myself, but not well.

I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Beautiful so that men can love them, and stupid so that men can love them.

On the same evening, Ranevskaya was asked: Which, in your opinion, women tend to be more faithful brunettes or blondes? Without hesitation, she replied: Grey-haired!

Which women do you think tend to be more faithful brunette or blonde?

A lady can already choose for herself whom she impresses.

In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.

People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.

A fan asks for Ranevskaya's home phone number. She is:

Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."

I don't see faces, but personal insults.

He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.

Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth is like nothing! Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Old age is when it’s not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.

Optimism is a lack of information.

It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!

Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.

I'm watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.

My God, how life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.

Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.

Seeing the performance by actress X. of the role of an Uzbek girl in the play Kahara in the branch of the Moscow Council on Pushkinskaya Street, Ranevskaya exclaimed: I can’t when a whore poses innocence.

Faina Ranevskaya, (1896-1984) actress

My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!

God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

The family is not without a director.

In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity.

Memories are the wealth of old age.

It has always been a mystery to me - how great actors could play with artists from whom there is nothing to catch, even a runny nose.

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool.

If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight - she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!

If a person in the winter in the cold did not pick up a stray dog, this person is rubbish, capable of any meanness. And I'm not wrong.

There are fools who envy fame.

There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, there are people in whom only worms live.

A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.

Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.

Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.

You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.

“How much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy,” said Faina Ranevskaya about fans who give her armfuls of flowers.

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."

Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are also gangsters in the movies.

Where is this damn money going, can you tell me? They scatter like cockroaches with monstrous speed.

Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.

Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that constantly, by 80 percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!

We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!

I don't get along with life! Money interferes with me both when it is not there and when it is.

I hate cynicism for its general availability.

There is no pain more painful than longing.

Nothing makes you understand and feel your loneliness like when there is no one to tell your dream to.

Optimism is a lack of information.

About the director: Perpetum male.

Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.

About his work in the cinema: "The money is eaten, but the shame remains."

It's very hard to be a genius among goats.

Do you understand my shallow thought?

Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.

The strongest feeling is pity.

The most terrible thing is to offend, upset a person, hit a dog, not feed it when it is hungry.

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite is true.

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to the heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man produces a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.

It became funny. The great ones live like people, but I live as a homeless dog, although there is a dwelling! There is a stray dog, she lives by my care - I live a lonely dog, and not for long, thank God, left. Who would have known how unhappy I was in this damned life, with all my talents. Who would know my loneliness! Success is stupid for me, smart, to rejoice at him.

Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.

Old age is when it’s not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.

Old age is just bullshit. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.

You have the same defect as me. No, not the nose - modesty!
Faina Ranevskaya to Elena Kamburova

A smart man knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise man never gets into it.

Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to a loved one.

I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.

This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.

I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.

I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

“I didn’t know success with myself ... I had the sense to live a stupid life,” Faina Ranevskaya complained just before her death.

I feel myself, but not well.

Having entered her first country theater in Malakhovka, she rehearsed in the play "The One Who Gets a Slap in the Face." Role without words. "What should I do?" Faina asked her partner, actor Pevtsov. "Love me! Love me the whole performance and experience. And she began to love him - four hours non-stop. At the end of the performance, no one remembered Pevtsov: the auditorium went wild with Ranevskaya's passionate love. She sobbed all the time, and continued to sob even after the end of the performance. Pevtsov asked: “Why are you crying now?” "I continue to love you." He said: "You will be an actress!".

Once Ranevskaya slipped on the street and fell. An unfamiliar man was walking towards her.
- Pick me up! asked Ranevskaya. - People's artists do not lie on the road ...

Ranevskaya with all her family and huge luggage arrives at the station.
“It’s a pity that we didn’t take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“Not witty,” one of the escorts remarks.
“Really stupid,” Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.

The older generation always scolds the youth: she, they say, has completely deteriorated, become frivolous, does not respect her elders, without a king in her head, she only thinks about fun ... Hearing such an old man's conversation, Ranevskaya said with a sigh:
- The most terrible thing about youth is that we ourselves no longer belong to it and cannot do all these stupid things ...

Faina Georgievna returned home as pale as death, and said that she was driving from the theater in a taxi.
“I knew right away that he was a jerk. How he maneuvered between cars, dodged trucks, slipped right in front of the noses of passers-by! But I really got scared later. When we arrived, he took out a magnifying glass to look at the counter!

- Nobody kissed me, except the groom! one young actress said proudly to Ranevskaya.
“My dear, I don’t understand,” Faina Georgievna replied, “are you bragging or complaining?”

Once, at the theater, Faina Georgievna was riding in an elevator with artist Gennady Bortnikov, and the elevator got stuck ... It took a long time to wait - only after forty minutes they were released. Ranevskaya said to young Bortnikov as she left:
- Well, Genochka, now you are obliged to marry me! Otherwise you will compromise me!

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya- famous and popular Soviet actress theater and cinema.
Today, many critics and journalists consider her one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century.
She has about 30 films and countless performances to her credit.
In 1992, the English encyclopedia "Who's Who" included her in the list of the ten most outstanding actresses of the 20th century.
But there is one more distinguishing feature, by which the actress was remembered by millions - these are the sayings, quotes and aphorisms of Ranevskaya. They instantly became winged and dispersed throughout the country and beyond.
And even many years after years, after she was gone, these words do not lose their relevance!

We present to you best phrases and quotes by Faina Ranevskaya. There are more than a hundred of them:

1. I do not know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.

2. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

3. I noticed that if you do not eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, do not drink beer with fish
- the muzzle becomes smaller, but sadder.

4. My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched myself and still want to.
And the most hated is hemorrhoids: neither to see for yourself, nor to show people.

5. Ladies, don't lose weight. Do you need it? It’s better to be a ruddy donut in old age than a dried monkey!

6. Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, and the alarm clock rings.

7. All my life I have swum in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.

8. The soul is not an ass, it cannot shit.

9. In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, but I was deprived of it.

10. I was smart enough to live my life stupidly. I live only by myself - what self-restraint.

11. We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!

12. On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.

13. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

14. It is very difficult to be a genius among boogers.

15. Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.

16. 85 years old with diabetes is not sugar.

17. I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! Too bad they're gone now.
18. A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
19. Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

20. Let idiots and clowns out of your life. The circus must tour.

21. Companion of glory - loneliness.

22. Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

23. Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.

24. Underneath the most beautiful peacock tail is the most common chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.

25. I hate it when a bl * d pretends to be innocent!

26. Do you understand my shallow thought?

27. You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards.

28. Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy...

29. All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma.
You never know how to talk to them without falling to their level.

30. Understand once and for all that the character of your woman is a reflection of your attitude towards her.
For the dumb: it's not her bitch, it's you asshole.

31. I am like eggs: I participate, but I do not enter.

32. I hate cynicism for its public accessibility.

33. Why are all fools such women?

34. Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!

35. So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.

36. Talent is like a wart - you either have it or you don't.

37. What kind of world? How many idiots around, how fun they are!

38. It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

39. A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities.
She must be smart enough to please stupid men
and 40. is stupid enough to please smart men.

41. If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest,
it means that she understands that she will not find another such fool.

42. God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

43. Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.

44. Pioneers, go to hell.

45. Many complain about their appearance, and no one complains about their brains.

46. ​​Terribly sad my life...
and you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you!

47. God seems to love the sufferers. Have you ever seen a happy genius?
No, everyone was ruffled by life, like a blade of grass in the wind.
Happiness is a concept for average citizens in all respects, and there is no justice here.

48. Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.

49. Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.

50. There are two, at most three thoughts in my old head, but at times they raise such a fuss that it seems there are thousands of them.

51. You can't learn to be an artist. You can develop your talent
learn to speak, express yourself, but shake - no. To do this, one must be born with the nature of an actor.

52. Do you know what it's like to act in films?
Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.

53. Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

54. Life is a long jump from n * zdy to the grave.

55. Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity!

56. Honey, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.

57. There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.

58. For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use.
But I sincerely hope that when you get home,
your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.

59. I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.

60. No one, except for dead leaders, wants to endure my idly dangling breasts.

61. I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.

62. Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex is rotten boards.

63. For an actress, there are no disadvantages if it is necessary for the role.

64. If I often looked into the eyes of Gioconda,
I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, and I know nothing about her.

65. I can't eat meat. It walked, loved, looked ... Maybe I'm a psychopath?
No, I consider myself a normal psychopath. But I can't eat meat. I keep meat for people.

66. The second half is in the brain, ass and pills. And I am whole.

67. A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.

68. Loneliness is a state about which there is no one to tell.

70. Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.

71. Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

72. Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life, which means that life is coming to an end.

73. To get recognition - it is necessary, even necessary, to die.

74. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions.
There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.

75. Beautiful people shit too.

76. There are people who just want to approach and ask if it is difficult to live without brains.

77. Now I looked at the photo for a long time - the eyes of the dog are surprisingly humane.
I love them, they are smart and kind, but people make them evil.

78. My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!

79. Women die later than men because they are always late.

80. I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.

81. I'm tired of pretending to be healthy.

82. Do you know, honey, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.

83. Something hasn't been told to me for a long time that I'm a whore. Losing popularity.

84. Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.

85. Life is too short to spend it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

86. The main thing is to live a living life, and not to fumble through the back streets of memory.

87. My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot dispose of his ass.

88. Men from the beginning of days to their end are drawn for a boob.

89. I hate you. Everywhere I go, everyone looks around and says:
"Look, this is Mulya, don't annoy me, she's coming."

90. You can't fart happily with a sad ass.

91. Everyone is free to dispose of his ass as he wants. So I pick mine up and fuck.

92. There are no fat women, there are small clothes.

93. When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."

94. Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth doesn't look like anything!
Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, and now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.

95. I don't get along with life! Money interferes with me both when it is not there and when it is.

96. I receive letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".

97. Cinema is a barefoot establishment.

98. How I envy the brainless!

99. Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.

100. There are a million fans, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.

101. There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives;
And there are people that live only worms.

102. When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.

103. Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman
who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

104. Pee-wee in a tram - all he did in art.

105. I feel myself, but badly.

106. Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

108. Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with yourself and your shortcomings,
something I've never seen in mediocrity.

109. I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.

110. I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served!
Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve!

111. If you have a person to whom you can tell dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely...

112. Cursed nineteenth century, cursed upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.

113. Oh, those obnoxious journalists! Half of the lies they spread about me are not true.

114. People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them up.

115. Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.

116. He will die from the expansion of fantasy.

117. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

118. Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.

119. Old age is not bad dreams, but bad reality.

120. Better to be a good man, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

121. I am already so old that I began to forget my own memoirs.

122. In the theater, talented people loved me, mediocre people hated me, mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.

123. March 8 is my personal disaster.
With each postcard in flowers and bows, I pull out a tuft of hair from grief that I was not born a man.

124. Everything will come true, one has only to lose desire...

125. Do not have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!

126. Old age is just disgusting. I believe this is the ignorance of God,
when it allows you to live to old age. Lord, everyone is already gone, but I still live.
Birman - and she died, and I did not expect this from her.
It's scary when you're eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting,
and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!

127. A person's passport is his misfortune, because a person must always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen year old.

128. The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman creates a mother-heroine.
The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother.
The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family.
The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.

Phrases on the Internet often do not have a host. But these phrases have a mistress. Please love and favor: - Faina Ranevskaya!

... One night, Eisenstein called. The already unnaturally high voice of the director sounded with a painful shrillness:
- Faina! Listen carefully. I have just come from the Kremlin. Do you know what Stalin said about you?!
It was one of those famous night viewings, after which the "leader of the peoples" made a short speech:
- Here Comrade Zharov is a good actor, he sticks on a mustache, sideburns or puts on a beard, and it is still immediately clear that this is Zharov. But Ranevskaya does not stick anything and is still always different ...

Ranevskaya invites guests and warns that the call is not working:
- When you come, knock with your feet.
- Why feet, Faina Georgievna?
- But you are not empty handed going to come! Ranevskaya approaches actress N., who imagines herself to be an irresistible beauty, and asks:
- Have you ever been told that you look like Brigitte Bardot?
- No, never, - answers N., expecting a compliment.
Ranevskaya looks at her and concludes with pleasure:
- And it’s right that they didn’t say that. During a tour in Lvov at night, once going out onto the hotel balcony, Faina Georgievna was horrified to find an indecent noun with the letter “e” glowing in huge neon letters. Shocked by the night order of her beloved city, which strictly observed the moral Soviet code during the day, Ranevskaya was no longer able to fall asleep and only at dawn saw the first letter "M" on the signboard of a furniture store written in Ukrainian: "Furniture." More from Faina Georgievna's statements:
"if a woman walks with her head held high - she has a lover, if a woman holds her head straight - she has a lover, if a woman lowers her head - she has a lover, and in general, if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!"

When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at it. Faina Georgievna heard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the picture did not impress him. Ranevskaya remarked:
- This lady for so many centuries on such people made the impression that now she herself has the right to choose whom she impresses and who not!
***
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
***
Such an ass is called "ass-playing".
***
Which women do you think tend to be more faithful brunette or blonde?
Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray-haired!”

Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
***
Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the hole in her skirt)
***
Kritikess - Amazons in menopause.
***
When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.
***
With such an ass, you should stay at home!

To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."
***
What I do? I pretend to be healthy.
***
I feel myself, but not well.
***
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
***
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
***
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)
***
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
***
When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
***
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
***
I am a local actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..
***
I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
***
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
***
I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
***
Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.
***
How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors.
***
We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
***
I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
***
Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
***
He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
***
Pee-pee in a tram is all he did in art.
***
I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
***
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands.
Everything will be real, ”Ranevskaya reassures her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.

All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
***
I am a social psychopath. Komsomol girl with an oar. You can feel me in the subway. It's me standing there, half bowed, in a bathing cap and copper panties, into which all the Octobrists strive to climb. I work in the metro as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
***
Companion of glory - loneliness.
***
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
***
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
***
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movies, too, Gangsters.

In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.
***
Loneliness is a condition that cannot be cured.
***
Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
***
Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.

Spelling errors in a letter are like bed bugs on a white blouse.
***
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
***
I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
***
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
***
Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.
***
I don't see faces, but personal insults.
***
So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.
***
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.
***
It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

Do you understand my shallow thought?
***
A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.
***
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
***
You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we were in big trouble. (About Lenin)
***
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.
***
"You won't believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom."
- "Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?"
***
An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: then she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him Ranevskaya called her "HeraSima's victim".

Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?
- It's obvious because there are very few blind men, and stupid men are a dime a dozen.
***
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on the wedding night, when she cheats on her husband for the first time, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time.
And the man?
- Twice: the first time when the second cannot, the second when the first cannot.
***
Ranevskaya with all her family and huge luggage arrives at the station.
- It's a pity that we didn't take the piano, - says Faina Georgievna.
“Not witty,” one of the escorts remarks.
- Really not witty, - Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that
I left all the tickets on the piano.

Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. Moscow City Council, where she worked
Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya (and with whom she had far from
cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the actress: "Faina Georgievna,
you gobbled up my whole directorial idea with your game! "" That's what I have
the feeling that I ate shit!" Ranevskaya retorted.
***
- Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you define it?
- Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three on a mirror, - Faina Georgievna explained.
***
Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.

Actors discuss at a troupe meeting of a comrade who is accused of homosexuality:
"This is the molestation of youth, this is a crime"
My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot dispose of his ass, Ranevskaya sighed.
***
"Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions," Ranevskaya explains sternly: "There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice."
***
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
"Because white makes you fat."

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore, and I never cheated on my husband because I never had one, Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from a journalist.
So, the journalist does not lag behind, so you don’t have any shortcomings at all?
In general, no, Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity.
And after a short pause she added:
True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!