Theme of the collection: quotes and phrases of Faina Ranevskaya.

• Women die later than men because they are always late.
• People, like candles, are divided into two types: some - for light and heat, and others - in the ass.
• What is the difference between smart and wise? A smart man knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise man never gets into it.
• If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
• I do not know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
• Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

• Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
• Something hasn't been told to me for a long time that I would ... . Losing popularity.
• I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
• Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? once asked Ranevskaya. Beautiful so that they can be loved by men, and stupid so that they can love men.
• I am amused by the excitement of people over trifles, I myself was the same fool. Now, before the finish, I understand clearly that everything is empty. All you need is kindness and compassion.
  
• Optimism is a lack of information.
• Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
• If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
• The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to the heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
• On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
  
• Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food. (Funny statements by Ranevskaya about animals)
• Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
• They ask me why I don’t write about Akhmatova, because we were friends ... I answer: I don’t write, because I love her very much.
• I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I never cheated on my husband - because I never had one, ”Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist. - So, - the journalist does not lag behind, - does it mean that you do not have any shortcomings at all? “In general, no,” Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity. And after a short pause, she added: - True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little ...
• A woman in the theater washes the toilet. I ask her to work for me, to clean the apartment. Answers: "I can't, I love art."
  
• Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
• A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite is true.
• Life is a long jump from p... to the grave. (Statements of Ranevskaya about life and death)
• Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
• Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
• I keep thinking about Pushkin. Pushkin is a planet! He's around somewhere. I will not part with him. What would I do in this world without Pushkin...

• After the next performance, already in the dressing room, looking at flowers, notes, letters, postcards, Ranevskaya often noticed: - How much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy ...
• Ranevskaya was asked: what is the most difficult for her? “Oh, I do my hardest before breakfast,” she said. - And what is it? - I get out of bed. (Faina Ranevskaya quotes about the most difficult ...)
• When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
• I will have a happy day when you become impotent, ”Ranevskaya said to her stubborn boyfriend.
• I feel myself, but not well.
• I saw how the sparrow obviously spoke taunts to another, tiny and weak, and as a result poked him in the head with his beak. Everything is like people. (Ranevskaya quotes and aphorisms)
  
• I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
• A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.
• Why are all women so stupid?
• Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna said to him: “For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
• How I envy the brainless! (Many people search the Internet for funny or funny sayings Faina Ranevskaya, this saying can be classified as such)
• At night I almost always read Pushkin. Then I take sleeping pills and read again, because sleeping pills do not work. I again take sleeping pills and think about Pushkin. If I met him, I would tell him how wonderful he is, how we all remember him, how I live by him all my long life ... Then I fall asleep, and I dream of Pushkin. He walks with a cane along Tverskoy Boulevard. I run to him, I scream. He stopped, looked, bowed and said: "Leave me alone, old b ... How you bored me with your love."
• Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that constantly, eighty percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!

Women are a hundred times smarter. Show at least one lady who suddenly lost her head from slender male legs. There are no such unique individuals of the weaker sex in nature, unlike men.

Homosexuality is nothing. Here is ballet on slippery ice, or grass hockey - this is a real perversion! – Faina Ranevskaya

In the dressing room, naked Ranevskaya sat down on an ottoman and lit a cigarette. A male director enters to wish Faina success. Pause. The director was taken aback, to which the actress, after a long silence, said: “I want to apologize for the cigarette smoke and other inconveniences.”

An employee of the radio station was always preoccupied with a difficult relationship with her lover Sima. He continued to meet, but categorically did not take obligations to the girl. They constantly converged, diverged, quarreled over trifles, the girl had abortions, but she did not leave Sima. Ranevskaya felt sorry for the girl, affectionately calling him a victim of HeraSima.

Looking at the torn skirt, Ranevskaya said: “Beauty will cut its way. It is impossible to keep the beautiful within the narrow limits of what is permitted!”

Everything will be real. And pearls in the first act, and a capsule with poison in the finale!

Continuation best aphorisms and quotes from Faina Ranevskaya read on the pages:

You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.

Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:

Do you understand my shallow thought?

Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we were in big trouble. (About Lenin)

What I do? I pretend to be healthy.

The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)

Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray-haired!”

I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

Old age is just bullshit. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.

This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.

With such an ass, you should stay at home!

But how. When I was young, I had to undress every time I went to the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.

My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.

I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.

I play the role of eggs: I participate, but do not enter.

If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.

God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.

It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite is true.

Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions Ranevskaya strictly explains: There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.

I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!

Faina, her old friend asks, do you think medicine is making progress?

In the carriage compartment, an annoying fellow traveler is trying to talk to Ranevskaya.

On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.

If I kept a diary, I would write down one phrase every day: What mortal anguish, that's all.

A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.

Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.

Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movies, too, Gangsters.

I receive letters: Help me become an actor. Answer: God help!

Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

I am a social psychopath. Komsomol girl with an oar. You can feel me in the subway. It's me standing there, half bowed, in a bathing cap and copper panties, into which all the Octobrists strive to climb. I work in the metro as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.

There are no fat women, there are small clothes.

Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.

Come, I will show you photographs of unknown people's artists of the USSR, - Ranevskaya called to herself.

I do not recognize the word play. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.

Young man! I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!

Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.

Once Ranevskaya, picking up the phone, heard the voice of one of her fans, which was very annoying to her, and said: Sorry, I can’t continue the conversation. I'm talking from a machine, and there's a big line here.

All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.

Criticesses are Amazons in menopause.

On my tombstone, write Died of disgust.

I am a local actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..

Such an ass is called ass-playing.

Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.

Because white is fat.

I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.

To the question: Are you sick, Faina Georgievna? - she usually answered: No, I just look like that.

Companion of glory - loneliness.

Loneliness is a condition that cannot be cured.

It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong expressions, and when she was remarked that there is no word zho-pa in the literary Russian language, she answered - strange, there is no word, but there is zho-pa ...

The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands.

Everything will come true, you just have to lose your will...

Pee-pee in a tram - all that he did in art.

Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? once asked Ranevskaya.

Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself!

Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.

Ranevskaya stood completely naked in her make-up room. And smoked. Suddenly, Valentin Shkolnikov, managing director of the Mossovet Theater, entered without knocking. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: Doesn't it shock you that I smoke?

An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him + Ranevskaya called her a victim of HeraSima.

A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men, said Ranevskaya.

Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors.

Here's a cucumber. If you want to eat it, if you want, live with it..

Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

Talent is like a wart - you either have it or you don't.

I feel myself, but not well.

I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Beautiful so that men can love them, and stupid so that men can love them.

On the same evening, Ranevskaya was asked: Which, in your opinion, women tend to be more faithful brunettes or blondes? Without hesitation, she replied: Grey-haired!

Which women do you think tend to be more faithful brunette or blonde?

A lady can already choose for herself whom she impresses.

In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.

People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.

A fan asks for Ranevskaya's home phone number. She is:

Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."

I don't see faces, but personal insults.

He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

Old age is the time when candles are on birthday cake cost more than the pie itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.

Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth is like nothing! Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Old age is when it’s not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.

Optimism is a lack of information.

It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!

Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.

I'm watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.

My God, how life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.

Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.

Seeing the performance by actress X. of the role of an Uzbek girl in the play Kahara in the branch of the Moscow Council on Pushkinskaya Street, Ranevskaya exclaimed: I can’t when a whore poses innocence.

The second half is in the brain, assholes and pills. And I am whole.

Beautiful people shit too.

Think and say what you will about me. Where have you seen a cat who would be interested in what the mice say about her?

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

Better be a good man, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!

Ranevskaya was asked if she knew the reasons for the divorce of a familiar couple. Faina Georgievna replied:
- They had different tastes: she loved men, and he - women.

Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.

Even behind the most beautiful peacock tail hides the most ordinary chicken butt. So less pathos, gentlemen.

When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.

There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.

My wealth, obviously, is that I don't need it.

Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.

There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.

A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.

Why do women devote so much time and money to their appearance, and not to the development of intelligence? - Because there are far fewer blind men than smart ones.

A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.

If you're waiting for someone to accept you "just the way you are", then you're just a lazy asshole. Because, as a rule, “such as it is” is a sad sight. Change, bitch. Work on yourself. Or die alone.

Today's youth is terrible. But what's even worse is that we don't belong to it.

The most terrible thing is when a person no longer belongs to himself, but to his disintegration.

People make their own problems - no one forces them to choose boring professions, marry the wrong people or buy uncomfortable shoes.

Faina Georgievna, how are you? - Do you know, my dear, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.
When Faina Georgievna was asked which, in her opinion, women are more prone to fidelity - brunettes or blondes, she answered without hesitation: “Gray-haired!”

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Among all the boogers, it is very difficult to reach the level of a genius.

Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

Many complain about their appearance, and no one complains about their brains

The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to the heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.

What kind of world surrounds us? How many crazy people are around ... but how fun it is with them!

Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex are rotten boards

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya - Soviet actress, called the queen of the second plans. Almost all of her film roles were fleeting. She only briefly appeared on the screen, but Ranevskaya remained forever in the hearts of the audience. Her catchphrases and aphorisms went "to the people", not having time to fly off the actress's tongue. Biting, witty, sometimes beyond the bounds of decency - they are still in demand today.

Faina Ranevskaya was born in Taganrog, back in 1896. When she turned 19, the girl went to conquer Moscow. However, she was not taken to the theater school, citing the fact that Ranevskaya had no talent. Faina Georgievna was not particularly upset, and entered another private school. She spent the next nineteen years on the stage, changing several theaters. The actress came to the cinema when she was 38 years old.

It is not known why such a talented actress never got the long-awaited main role throughout her work in the cinema. But the audience immediately fell in love with the charismatic and witty actress. Her appearance on the screen was awaited with bated breath, and the expressions of her heroines were then actively screwed into the conversation at any opportunity.

funny and witty phrases Faina Georgievna had literally for any occasion. Whatever bothers you - politics, appearance, a grumpy spouse, annoying guests, dull health, lack of attention - winged ones will become a real cure. They will make you smile and remember that our life is not painted with one gray color, but shines with all shades of the rainbow.

Ranevskaya gave out funny phrases when giving interviews, talking with colleagues, friends and fans. It is interesting that the actress never used templates, did not think over her speech and did not prepare for sparkling humor. Funny phrases were always born spontaneously.

Other expressions became winged, flying from the lips of the character played by Ranevskaya. The most popular saying of that time was "Mulya, don't make me nervous!" This phrase was shouted by the children at the sight of the actress, she was often recalled by journalists and friends of Faina Georgievna. Even Brezhnev did not ignore this catchphrase, awarding Ranevskaya with the Order of Lenin.

Ranevskaya was witty not only on stage, but also in everyday life. Her funny expressions helped to cope with annoyance. For example, once Faina Georgievna went on a trip.
At the station, she sighed and told her family:
- Oh, it's a pity they didn't take the piano with them.
“It’s not funny at all,” the annoyed relatives answered.
“Of course it’s not funny,” Ranevskaya agreed. - I left all the tickets on the lid of the piano.

The actress gave parting words to her guests:
- When you're at my door, knock with your feet.
- But why legs? - future visitors were surprised.
- How else? Are you going to come to me with empty handed?

A sense of humor and a sharp mind helped the actress not only cope with everyday difficulties, but also respond to rudeness without losing dignity. Once, on a crowded street, Faina Georgievna was pushed by a passerby. Without even apologizing, the unpleasant man, in extremely vulgar words, expressed to Ranevskaya his dissatisfaction with the fact that she was preventing his movement.

However, the lady quickly came up with an answer:
- What a pity that today I cannot sink to your level and answer you in the same words. However, I hope that when you get home, your mother will run out from behind the fence and bite you hard.

The brilliant actress did not live a month before her 88th birthday. Few people know that the surname under which Faina Georgievna gained popularity and people's love is a pseudonym that she took in her youth, replacing the surname Feldman with them. Why did young Faina choose this option? The new surname was taken from the play The Cherry Orchard. Thus, the aspiring actress wanted to pay tribute to her countryman - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov.

Despite her giftedness and talent, she was lonely all her life. But we still use her best catchphrases and expressions. And it is likely that even our children will remember and use those funny and witty aphorisms that have become part of our folklore thanks to Faina Ranevskaya.

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya(née Feldman) entered the history of culture and cinema as "one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century" and "the queen of the second plan." She often played in the theater than in the cinema, ironically on this occasion that "the money will be eaten away, and the shame will remain forever." She did not have the main roles, but even small, sometimes episodic roles she played in such a way that they went down in history forever. And we remember her every time we hear on TV the “housekeeper” Freken Bock from the cartoon about Carlson speaking in her low voice.

After it, a huge number of aphorisms and "strong expressions" remained, most of which became winged - the people felt their capacious imagery and fell in love with the absence of its so-called "internal censorship".

A collection of golden quotes and "strong expressions" from a Russian actress:

• Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is brought there.

• To gain recognition, one must, even must, die.

• Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

• To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."

• It is better to be a good person, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

• Under the most beautiful tail of a peacock hides the most ordinary chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.

• Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

• Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity..

• Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.

• Why are all women so stupid?

• What I do? I pretend to be healthy.

If you're waiting for someone to accept you "just the way you are", then you're just a lazy asshole. Because, as a rule, “such as it is” is a sad sight. Change, bitch. Work on yourself. Or die alone.

• Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.

• If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

• When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.

• Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.

• Companion of glory - loneliness.

• The second half is in the brain, assholes and pills. And I am whole.

• On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.

• Everything will come true, you just have to give up.

• All my life I've been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without going down to their level.

• A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.

• My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!

• There are no fat women, there are tight clothes.

• There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, and there are people in whom only worms live.

• If a person has done evil to you - you give him candy, he is evil to you - you give him candy ... And so on until this creature develops diabetes.

• We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!

• Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

• A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when the opposite is true.

• - When you come, knock with your feet.
  Why feet?
  - Well, you're not going to go empty-handed!

• Optimism is just a lack of information.

• I noticed that if you do not eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, do not drink beer with fish, the muzzle becomes smaller, but sadder.

• If you get married, then you will understand what happiness is. But it will be too late.

• Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

• Family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
• So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.

• Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.

• Women are not the weaker sex. The weak floor is rotten boards.

People make their own problems - no one forces them to choose boring professions, marry the wrong people or buy uncomfortable shoes.