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website decided to remember witty remarks great actress, who at one time made the interlocutors silent for a long time.

Quotes

• All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
• We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
• Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.
• Under the most beautiful tail of a peacock hides the most ordinary chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
• I am like eggs: I participate, but I do not enter.
• Why are all women so stupid?
• Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
• Life is a long jump from n * zdy to the grave.
• I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
• For an actress, there are no disadvantages if it is necessary for the role.
• When I start writing my memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oilman ...”, I can’t do anything.
• To gain recognition, one must, even must, die.
• Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
• Beautiful people shit too.
• I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
• Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
• I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, this is Mulya, don’t annoy me, she’s coming.”
• Everyone is free to dispose of his ass as he wants. So I pick mine up and fuck it
• I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".
• Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
• Pee-pee in a tram is all he did in art.
• Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with yourself and your shortcomings, which I have never seen in mediocrity.
• I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
• Better be a good man, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

Actress stories

Once Ranevskaya stood in her make-up room completely naked. And smoked. Suddenly, without knocking, the director, manager of the Mossovet Theater Valentin Shkolnikov entered her. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: “Does it shock you that I smoke?”

Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said: "Because white makes you fat."

Ranevskaya was asked: “Which women, in your opinion, tend to be more faithful brunettes or blondes?” Without thinking, she replied: "Greys!".

Once in the theater, a young capricious actress declared: "The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real." “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her, “Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last”.

- famous and popular Soviet actress theater and cinema. Today, many critics and journalists consider her one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century. She has about 30 films and countless performances to her credit. In 1992, the English encyclopedia "Who's Who" included her in the list of the ten most outstanding actresses of the 20th century.
But there is one more distinguishing feature, according to which the actress was remembered by millions - these are the sayings, quotes and aphorisms of Ranevskaya. They instantly became winged and dispersed throughout the country and beyond. And even many years after years, after she was gone, these words do not lose their relevance!

We present to you best phrases and quotes by Faina Ranevskaya. There are more than a hundred of them:
1. I do not know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
2. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
3. I noticed that if you do not eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, do not drink beer with fish, the muzzle becomes smaller, but sadder.
4. My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched myself and still want to. And the most hated is hemorrhoids: neither to see for yourself, nor to show people.
5. Ladies, don't lose weight. Do you need it? It’s better to be a ruddy donut in old age than a dried monkey!
6. Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, and the alarm clock rings.
7. All my life I have swum in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
8. The soul is not an ass, it cannot shit.
9. In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, but I was deprived of it.
10. I was smart enough to live my life stupidly. I live only by myself - what self-restraint.
11. We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
12. On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
13. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
14. It is very difficult to be a genius among boogers.
15. Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.

16. 85 years old with diabetes is not sugar.
17. I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! Too bad they're gone now.
18. A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
19. Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
20. Let idiots and clowns out of your life. The circus must tour.
21. Companion of glory - loneliness.
22. Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
23. Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.
24. Underneath the most beautiful peacock tail is the most common chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
25. I hate when bl @ d pretends to be innocence!
26. Do you understand my shallow thought?
27. You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards.
28. Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy ...
29. All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without falling to their level.
30. Understand once and for all that the character of your woman is a reflection of your attitude towards her. For the dumb: it's not her bitch, it's you asshole.

31. I am like eggs: I participate, but I do not enter.
32. I hate cynicism for its public accessibility.
33. Why are all fools such women?
34. Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!
35. So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.
36. Talent is like a wart - you either have it or you don't.
37. What kind of world? How many idiots around, how fun they are!
38. It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
39. A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and 40. stupid enough to please smart men.
41. If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool.
42. God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
43. Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
44. Pioneers, go to hell.
45. Many complain about their appearance, and no one complains about their brains.

46. ​​Terribly sad my life ... and you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you!
47. God seems to love the sufferers. Have you ever seen a happy genius? No, everyone was ruffled by life, like a blade of grass in the wind. Happiness is a concept for average citizens in all respects, and there is no justice here.
48. Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.
49. Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
50. There are two, at most three thoughts in my old head, but at times they raise such a fuss that it seems there are thousands of them.
51. You can't learn to be an artist. You can develop your talent, learn to speak, express yourself, but to shock - no. To do this, one must be born with the nature of an actor.
52. Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
53. Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.
54. Life is a long jump from n * zdy to the grave.
55. Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity!
56. Honey, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.
57. There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.
58. For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
59. I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
60. No one, except for dead leaders, wants to endure my idly dangling breasts.

61. I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
62. Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex is rotten boards.
63. For an actress, there are no disadvantages if it is necessary for the role.
64. If I often looked into the eyes of Gioconda, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, and I know nothing about her.
65. I can't eat meat. It walked, loved, looked ... Maybe I'm a psychopath? No, I consider myself a normal psychopath. But I can't eat meat. I keep meat for people.
66. The second half is in the brain, ass and pills. And I am whole.
67. A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
68. Loneliness is a state about which there is no one to tell.
69. When I start writing memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oilman ...”, - I can’t do anything.
70. Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
71. Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
72. Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life, which means that life is coming to an end.
73. To get recognition - it is necessary, even necessary, to die.
74. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
75. Beautiful people shit too.

76. There are people who just want to approach and ask if it is difficult to live without brains.
77. Now I looked at the photo for a long time - the eyes of the dog are surprisingly humane. I love them, they are smart and kind, but people make them evil.
78. My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
79. Women die later than men because they are always late.
80. I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
81. I'm tired of pretending to be healthy.
82. Do you know, honey, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.
83. They haven't told me for a long time that I'm fucking. Losing popularity.
84. Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
85. Life is too short to spend it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.
86. The main thing is to live a living life, and not to fumble through the back streets of memory.
87. My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot dispose of his ass.
88. Men from the beginning of days to their end are drawn for a boob.
89. I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, this is Mulya, don’t annoy me, she’s coming.”
90. You can't fart happily with a sad ass.

91. Everyone is free to dispose of his ass as he wants. So I pick mine up and fuck.
92. There are no fat women, there are small clothes.
93. When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
94. Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth doesn't look like anything! Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, and now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.
95. I don't get along with life! Money interferes with me both when it is not there and when it is.
96. I receive letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".
97. Cinema is a barefoot establishment.
98. How I envy the brainless!
99. Old age is the time when candles are on birthday cake cost more than the pie itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.
100. There are a million fans, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
101. There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
102. When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
103. Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
104. Pee-wee in a tram - all he did in art.
105. I feel myself, but badly.
106. Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
107. He has a voice - as if pissing in a zinc bucket.
108. Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with yourself and your shortcomings, which I have never seen in mediocrity.
109. I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
110. I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..
111. If you have a person to whom you can tell dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely ...
112. Cursed nineteenth century, cursed upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
113. Oh, those obnoxious journalists! Half of the lies they spread about me are not true.
114. People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them up.
115. Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.
116. He will die from the expansion of fantasy.
117. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
118. Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
119. Old age is not bad dreams, but bad reality.
120. It is better to be a good person, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

121. I am already so old that I began to forget my own memoirs.
122. In the theater, talented people loved me, mediocre people hated me, mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.
123. March 8 is my personal disaster. With each postcard in flowers and bows, I pull out a tuft of hair from grief that I was not born a man.
124. Everything will come true, one has only to lose desire ...
125. Do not have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
126. Old age is just disgusting. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age. Lord, everyone is already gone, but I still live. Birman - and she died, and I did not expect this from her. It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!
127. A person's passport is his misfortune, because a person must always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen year old.
128. The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman creates a mother-heroine. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.

On July 19, the outstanding actress Faina Ranevskaya died. The audience remembers her not only for her wonderful films, but also for her sparkling quotes. We remembered the most popular sayings of Faina Ranevskaya.

About women and love

"God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men."

Which women do you think tend to be more fidelity brunette or blonde? Without hesitation, she answered: “Gray-haired!”

“Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

“The pressure of beauty can not be restrained by anything!” (Looking at the hole in her skirt)

“- You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom. “Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?”

“The second half is only in the brain, in the ass and in the pill. And I’m whole from the beginning.”

“A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband."

"Kritikess - Amazons in menopause".

"Why are all the fools such women?"

About health

To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."

"What I do? I simulate health.

"I feel good, but not well."

"Health is when you have pain in a different place every day."

"If the patient really wants to live, the doctors are powerless."

"Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten."

About work

“I’ll get the money, but the shame will remain” - Ranevskaya’s answer to the offer to star in some kind of picture.

"Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity."

“When they don’t give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.”

"I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage."

“I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! .. "

“I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.”

“I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!”

"Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one."

"How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors."

I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".

"Wee-wee in a tram is all he did in art."

“I do not recognize the word “play”. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage."

About life

"The satellite of glory is loneliness."

“You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards.”

"Life goes by and doesn't bow like an angry neighbor."

"Optimism is a lack of information."

About myself

"All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke."

"I was smart enough to live my life stupidly."

“- Faina Georgievna, how are you? - Do you know, my dear, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.

"Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting."

"I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away."

“I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.”

“My funeral personal belongings” - Faina Georgievna said about her awards

Theme of the collection: quotes and phrases of Faina Ranevskaya.

• Women die later than men because they are always late.
• People, like candles, are divided into two types: some - for light and heat, and others - in the ass.
• What is the difference between smart and wise? A smart man knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise man never gets into it.
• If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
• I do not know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
• Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

• Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
• Something hasn't been told to me for a long time that I would ... . Losing popularity.
• I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
• Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? once asked Ranevskaya. Beautiful so that they can be loved by men, and stupid so that they can love men.
• I am amused by the excitement of people over trifles, I myself was the same fool. Now, before the finish, I understand clearly that everything is empty. All you need is kindness and compassion.
  
• Optimism is a lack of information.
• Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
• If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
• The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to the heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
• On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
  
• Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food. (Funny statements by Ranevskaya about animals)
• Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
• They ask me why I don’t write about Akhmatova, because we were friends ... I answer: I don’t write, because I love her very much.
• I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I never cheated on my husband - because I never had one, ”Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist. - So, - the journalist does not lag behind, - does it mean that you do not have any shortcomings at all? “In general, no,” Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity. And after a short pause, she added: - True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little ...
• A woman in the theater washes the toilet. I ask her to work for me, to clean the apartment. Answers: "I can't, I love art."
  
• Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
• A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And the reality is when the opposite is true.
• Life is a long jump from p... to the grave. (Statements of Ranevskaya about life and death)
• Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
• Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
• I keep thinking about Pushkin. Pushkin is a planet! He's around somewhere. I will not part with him. What would I do in this world without Pushkin...

• After the next performance, already in the dressing room, looking at flowers, notes, letters, postcards, Ranevskaya often noticed: - How much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy ...
• Ranevskaya was asked: what is the most difficult for her? “Oh, I do my hardest before breakfast,” she said. - And what is it? - I get out of bed. (Faina Ranevskaya quotes about the most difficult ...)
• When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
• I will have a happy day when you become impotent, ”Ranevskaya said to her stubborn boyfriend.
• I feel myself, but not well.
• I saw how the sparrow obviously spoke taunts to another, tiny and weak, and as a result poked him in the head with his beak. Everything is like people. (Ranevskaya quotes and aphorisms)
  
• I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
• A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.
• Why are all women so stupid?
• Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna said to him: “For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
• How I envy the brainless! (Many people search the Internet for funny or funny sayings Faina Ranevskaya, this saying can be classified as such)
• At night I almost always read Pushkin. Then I take sleeping pills and read again, because sleeping pills do not work. I again take sleeping pills and think about Pushkin. If I met him, I would tell him how wonderful he is, how we all remember him, how I live by him all my long life ... Then I fall asleep, and I dream of Pushkin. He walks with a cane along Tverskoy Boulevard. I run to him, I scream. He stopped, looked, bowed and said: "Leave me alone, old b ... How you bored me with your love."
• Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that constantly, eighty percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!

The second half is in the brain, assholes and pills. And I am whole.

Beautiful people shit too.

Think and say what you will about me. Where have you seen a cat who would be interested in what the mice say about her?

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

It is better to be a good person, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.

Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!

Ranevskaya was asked if she knew the reasons for the divorce of a familiar couple. Faina Georgievna replied:
- They had different tastes: she loved men, and he - women.

Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.

Even behind the most beautiful peacock tail hides the most ordinary chicken butt. So less pathos, gentlemen.

When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.

There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.

My wealth, obviously, is that I don't need it.

Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.

There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.

A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.

Why do women devote so much time and money to their appearance, and not to the development of intelligence? - Because there are far fewer blind men than smart ones.

A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.

If you're waiting for someone to accept you "just the way you are", then you're just a lazy asshole. Because, as a rule, “such as it is” is a sad sight. Change, bitch. Work on yourself. Or die alone.

Today's youth is terrible. But what's even worse is that we don't belong to it.

The most terrible thing is when a person no longer belongs to himself, but to his disintegration.

People make their own problems - no one forces them to choose boring professions, marry the wrong people or buy uncomfortable shoes.

Faina Georgievna, how are you? - Do you know, my dear, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.
When Faina Georgievna was asked which, in her opinion, women are more prone to fidelity - brunettes or blondes, she answered without hesitation: “Gray-haired!”

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Among all the boogers, it is very difficult to reach the level of a genius.

Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.

Many complain about their appearance, and no one complains about their brains

The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to the heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.

What kind of world surrounds us? How many crazy people are around ... but how fun it is with them!

Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex are rotten boards

Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.