Correspondence with a person you like requires compliance with certain rules of psychology. After all, already from the first lines that a girl addresses to a guy or a man she likes, her character and desires will begin to be revealed. Therefore, it is very important to stick to interesting topics that will resonate in the soul of a person on the other side of the monitor. Avoid dangerous and harsh phrases, because they can push the guy away, and he will not want to communicate with an overly emotional and aggressive girl. The most important thing is to interest the guy, daily carrying him into a lively, relaxed dialogue, which the interlocutor will look forward to.

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Where to begin?

Before you start an online dialogue with a guy, you need to carefully study his page on the social network. Look at the topics that interest him, the groups in which the future pen pal is a member, carefully study the circle of his friends and their interests. Then you should pay attention to your page: remove compromising photos, put your successful photo on the avatar, remove all harsh statements if they are on the page.

It is best to "mirror" the page of the future counterpart a little: if a man is interested in cars, put some photos of beautiful cars on your page. If he cares about pets, it is appropriate to publish a photo of cute four-legged pets. But do not completely copy the guy's page - it will look strange.

You can start a conversation with a friend request and a nice little compliment in the first message. The words: "You have a beautiful smile" will appeal to any man and help to attract him. If you do not want to start acquaintance with such words, you can turn to the interlocutor with a small request: after seeing his photographs abroad, ask young man tell about the trip, learn more about the places he visited. Don't forget to put emoticons - this will create a certain mood and help keep the conversation going, showing your friendliness and interest.

Compliments to a man

Correspondence rules

By following a few simple rules of correspondence, you will be able to communicate correctly and keep the guy’s interest for a long time:

1. 1. Politeness. During communication, be extremely correct and polite. You should not write angry and rude phrases, splashing out your mood on a man, even if the day today has not worked out at all. The interlocutor will think that rudeness and intemperance are your normal state, and the correspondence will end before it even starts.
2. 2. Common interests. Having carefully studied the guy’s page, you will already be aware of his hobbies. Therefore, the first topics for conversation after common phrases can be devoted to issues of interest to the young person. If a man loves hiking, you should ask about his travels, ask questions, ask for advice. The guy will be happy to talk about his hobby, revealing himself and his character. With a sincere interest in his hobby, you will be able to hook the interlocutor, lure him. Do not forget to tell interesting things about yourself and your favorite business.
3. 3. Literacy. Correspondence must be conducted competently, trying to avoid mistakes. An illiterate letter repels a person, suggests that an absolutely uneducated and stupid girl is sitting on the other side of the monitor.
4. 4. Sense of humor. A guy will be very pleased to communicate with a girl with a good sense of humor. Therefore, good jokes are quite appropriate during the dialogue. But here it is worth observing the measure: in no case should you make fun of a young man - this will lead to resentment and a quarrel.
5. 5. Honesty. You can’t start a dialogue with a man with deceit, even the smallest one, or lie to him throughout the entire correspondence. Sooner or later, the lie will be revealed, and you will never win the trust of your interlocutor.

Try to behave appropriately in any situation. Do not get annoyed if the counterpart disappears from online communication for a while, does not respond in time. Remember that a pen pal is a person just like you, with his own problems and worries.

What will repel

Human communication is a fragile thing, especially if the interlocutor knows you only by correspondence. Therefore, when starting to correspond with a guy, it is worth remembering that it will quickly cool a man to communicate with you.

We live in an age modern technologies, and many everyday actions and events are moving from the real world to the virtual space. On the Internet, many today make purchases, have fun, someone works, and almost everyone, without exception, communicates and gets to know each other. With what phrase to start a correspondence with a guy and how to really interest the interlocutor?

Where to start virtual dating?

Social networks- These are sites created specifically for communicating and exchanging news with friends. Such resources allow you to search for people with whom you once knew, as well as make new acquaintances. Before deciding how to start a correspondence with a guy, it is important to understand whether it is worth it at all. After carefully reading the questionnaire and viewing all the records, photo, audio, video materials, you can learn a lot about a person. Before starting communication, it will be useful to find out if the person you like has a girlfriend. Otherwise, you can get into a very unpleasant story by starting to flirt with a "not free" young man. If there is little information on the page, or you don’t feel like writing first, you can show your interest in a neutral way. A good option is to comment on some entry or put a “I like” mark under photos, audio recordings. There is a high probability that our object will be interested in the “mysterious stranger” and will be the first to write.

Internet dating rules

What phrase to start a conversation with a guy? This is a question that worries any girl. The first message should say hello. But then you will probably want to ask something banal: “How are you?” or "What are you doing?" But it's better not to do this. The more original the question, the higher the chances of winning the attention of the interlocutor. With what phrase to start a correspondence with a guy to interest him? It is best to ask about some of his hobbies or events, general information which can be gleaned from open information On the page. It is appropriate to ask about past or expected concerts and parties, hobbies or studies / work. One such question is enough, and the conversation will begin by itself.

How to start virtual communication with familiar guys?

A common situation is that a girl likes a guy, but in the real world, shyness interferes with chatting once again. Social networks will help out in this case too. It’s worth starting with an application to “friends”. Virtual etiquette allows you to add all the people you know and hardly know to your contact list. How to start a correspondence with a guy you like on the Internet? The most important thing is not to be shy. Of course, this is not an easy task, but try to be yourself and communicate positively and kindly. You can start a conversation with something that you talked about in person. Maybe he was going on a trip or was in a hurry to finish his term paper home. Ask about it in a neutral way. An important rule: never lie, if you say that you are interested in the same thing as he is, this will most likely attract attention. But then you simply won’t be able to keep up the conversation, and the deception will be exposed. A much more reliable way to get someone to talk is to say that you are interested in their hobbies, but there was never enough time to sort out this issue in detail.

First steps, first words

We figured out the intricacies of virtual dating, but what to do if right person is on the list of friends, but he is in no hurry to write first? You can always take the initiative, the main thing is not to be too intrusive. And so, you press the "create a new message" button and do not know how to start a correspondence with a guy. Examples for such a case can be very diverse: “Hi! Do you know that the lists of those who participated in the testing have already appeared?”, “Good evening! Can you tell me where to buy…” or “Hello! I came across such an interesting music video, I think you will like it! You should choose a specific option, taking into account the scope of his interests and how closely you know each other, as discussed during the meetings. Find a topic and reason for the first post, and that's half the battle.

What to talk about?

In fact, the answer to the question of what phrase to start a correspondence with a guy with is very simple. In the first message, be sure to say hello. And so, he answered something, what to write next? In fact, all people (and men to a greater extent) like to talk about themselves. Ask questions, read carefully and clarify. Of course, you should not immediately ask about too personal. But neutral topics - interests, art and events taking place in your city - will help to establish contact. It is very good if the interlocutor also asks questions. But carefully think over your answers, write clearly and moderately deployed. Avoid too long messages, better tell some short and interesting story. Guys like girls who listen and have a good sense of humor. So feel free to joke, but avoid anything that might be offensive.

virtual etiquette

Understanding how to start a correspondence with a VKontakte guy is not enough for productive virtual communication. In personal meetings, a lot can be understood by facial expressions, gestures and the general mood of the interlocutor, but on the Internet everything is somewhat different. The main rule of virtual flirting and communication is to observe golden mean. You should not be too intrusive and write first several times a day if the interlocutor answers in monosyllables. But shutting yourself up and constantly being silent is also not the best strategy. Try to keep the conversation alive and moving as long as it's appropriate. Do not express dissatisfaction if the young man you like does not always answer instantly. Hypnotizing a computer with a look all day long is not a good idea, and if it sometimes writes slowly or the answers do not come at all after a couple of hours, it is appropriate to ask directly if it is busy and offer to “talk” another time.

Try to write correctly and observe the elementary rules of politeness - greet, say goodbye, wish have a nice day and good night. Such simple phrases will help create a positive impression. And most importantly - never be nervous in vain. If he didn't respond right away or didn't rate all your new photos, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. But even if the virtual communication you started did not lead to anything, do not be discouraged. It's just not your person. Most importantly, you now know how to start a conversation with a guy, and will not be at a loss when you want to do it next time.

The more shy a person is, the more often he blushes, ”says our expert, candidate medical sciences, physiotherapist, chief physician of the clinic "City Resort" (gorodkurort.ru), doctor with 12 years of experience Sergey Vinogradov. After a dubious act, you subconsciously begin to worry about what all these people will think of you. From experiences, facial blood circulation is activated, and you feel that your cheeks tingle slightly. “This makes a person even more embarrassed, to which the nervous system reacts with an even greater rush of blood to the face,” says our consultant. - It turns out a vicious circle, which can be broken in only two ways: by painstaking work on psychological level, increasing self-confidence, or such simple methods.

The time it takes nervous system in order to make you look like a tomato depends on your state at the moment. “The calmer a person is, the slower and weaker the reaction of the body,” Sergey Vinogradov assures. - You can slow it down by taking a sedative: two tablets of valerian extract or one validol. Valerian is enough for eight hours, validol - for four, after which the reception can be repeated.

The only negative of the trick is that you either need to know in advance exactly when the boss will notice that you are going to the conference room to watch the movie "Hot Weightlifters - 4" on the big screen, or you need to drink pills all the time.

If you catch yourself thinking that you started to blush, pinch your palm, belly or other soft part of the body. You need to hurt yourself so that a bruise or severe swelling appears. Or bite your tongue. “I advise you to practice in advance and find out your pain threshold so that you don’t lose consciousness in the fight against blush,” the expert takes care of you and explains that the technique switches the body’s reaction to fighting sudden pain and thereby breaks the chain “began to blush - I thought about it You blush even more.

A cold object applied to the face (ice for a cocktail, frozen cutlets) will help to quickly get rid of redness. “Wet wipes with menthol are also suitable, which, when in contact with the skin, give a cooling effect,” says the doctor. What's there, even the streams of fresh cool air are ready to save you. So look online for what an air conditioner looks like, find it on your office walls, and learn how to turn it on.

If you blush so often that your wife is teasing redskins, tell the surgeons. They will implant a clip into your chest, which will compress the bundle of nerve fibers that regulate the blood supply to the face. “The operation lasts 30 minutes, costs about 50 thousand rubles and is called an endoscopic sympathectomy,” the doctor says. By the way, installing a clip will also help to cope with sweating hands.

Hyperemia (reddening of the skin) is a physiological reaction of the body. Its occurrence may be due to jumps in blood pressure, excessive excitement, and embarrassment. If a bright blush on the cheeks of a timid person can cause tenderness on the part of others, then such a feature of his physiology causes a lot of inconvenience to the person himself. The main problem of shy people who blush is that others around them can easily read all the emotions in their face.

Rice. How to overcome embarrassment so as not to blush at every conversation?

Sincerity and openness are excellent qualities of character, but people are not always willing to flaunt their true feelings. Alas, timid people who blush when talking fail to hide their emotions. Because of this, they may begin to subconsciously or consciously avoid communication. Also, this problem often becomes the starting point for. In a severe form of this psychological disorder, a person may avoid even being among people.

How to learn to control embarrassment?

Psychologists say that excessive shyness is often the result of self-doubt. A timid person subconsciously feels unworthy of approval, admiration, praise and the slightest attention of others. Because of this, he tries his best to avoid contact with people, especially with the opposite sex. This entails a decrease in sociability, the development of secrecy, alienation, isolation.

First of all, and After receiving a positive result, you can expect that embarrassment during communication will disappear by itself. Since the cause of shyness is purely psychological, then it is necessary to deal with it using one of the psychological methods.

Psychological training is considered the most effective. If you doubt that you will cope with the problem on your own, contact a specialist. However, it is still worth trying to get rid of embarrassment on your own. Best of all, which are based on the technique of self-hypnosis. These are special verbal attitudes that can change the direction of thinking not only on a conscious, but also on a deep subconscious level.

Choose a phrase (or several) from the list and say it throughout the day (as often as possible). Exercises should be performed for at least a month. On average, it takes about 2-3 months to consolidate the result. But everything is individual. You also need to be guided by the situation.

List of affirmations against embarrassment

• “I am a full-fledged personality, the harmony of soul and consciousness allows me to contact people the way I want it”
• “I deserve respect and understanding from others”
• “I am interesting to people, as I am an excellent conversationalist, I have high intelligence, a great sense of humor, tact and courtesy”
• “When communicating with others, I am completely calm”
• “Everyone who talks to me sees that I am an extraordinary person”
• "I'm confident, people feel it"
• “Relatives, colleagues, friends and acquaintances approve of all my actions”
• "The world is beautiful! I walk through life with ease and confidence.”

Assistive technology against embarrassment

In addition to verbal settings, you can, which will enhance the effect of the technique used. In the process of communication, you need to try to imagine as clearly as possible that there is no one next to you at the moment. For a second, abstract from the conversation, but do not turn off the communication completely, otherwise you may be misunderstood.

Imagine you are talking to your mirror image, therefore, there is no one to be embarrassed, therefore, there is no need to blush. Are you not shy or shy when you are alone? When there is no one around you, for sure, feel self-confidence. It is necessary, as it were, to deceive the subconscious, from where a signal will subsequently come that there is no one nearby and there is no one to be ashamed of.