Revenge... How sweet this word sometimes seems to people. It paints in their imagination pictures of retribution, the tears of the offender and his repentance. And then, without allowing them to enjoy deceptive justice, he forces them to act. Makes you take revenge. But many take revenge. People who were betrayed, offended, wounded. They want to make the offender feel the pain that they themselves experienced through his fault. They want justice, not realizing that they are only making things worse for themselves, poisoning their lives with their own hands.
Feeling of revenge is a destructive force that carries negative, destructive energy. And this energy is directed not at all at the person who is wished harm, but at the one who wishes it. After all feeling of revenge- this is satisfaction in the idea of retribution, the wish of evil, grief and misfortune to another person. All our thoughts are mirrored, attracting what we think about. If we sincerely wish someone good, it means good will come into our lives, and if we wish evil, it means evil. At the same time, the negative has more energy than the positive, so it comes back to us with a vengeance.
This is if we talk only about thoughts, but, unfortunately, sometimes the pain and indignation in people’s souls is so great that they bring their plans to life. Actions carry even more destructive power, and the law of retribution works on an accelerated principle. People giving in feeling of revenge, soon become even more miserable than they were. From somewhere an incurable thing falls on your head ,bankruptcy, accidents and other misfortunes. And no one wonders why this happens in their life! Sees no connection with recent revenge and today's suffering.
The results of a study by American scientists showed that 90% of those who had a severe form of tuberculosis experienced severe feeling of revenge, completely occupying all their thoughts and owning their consciousness. People who had thoughts of revenge only periodically suffered from abscesses (ulcers), which caused a lot of pain and anxiety. Also, vengeful people are more susceptible to the development of tumors, since tumors arise as a result of deep resentment, and if a person thinks about revenge, then there is no question of forgiveness.
But it only elevates us above ourselves, gives us peace in the soul and harmony in life. Who are we to judge another person? According to the law of retribution we know, the offender will also be rewarded in life. But not thanks to our efforts! All the will of God. All we can do is accept the situation, forgive the person and wish him happiness. And as soon as the thought of revenge creeps into our consciousness, we need to remember the well-known saying: “If you want to take revenge, dig two graves: one for the one you kill, the other for yourself.”
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Vindictiveness or Revenge is a negative quality of a person’s character and a tendency to deliberate, planned actions or acts of a destructive type. The main focus of actions is to respond with evil for evil, for the insults, troubles, death and illnesses caused, regardless of whether there is a reasonable need for this.
As you can see, the characteristics and manifestations of Revenge require a painstaking description, even in a concise formulation of this concept.
Manifestations and properties of Revenge
Vengefulness is the reverse reaction of a painful and overly inflated person with Selfishness and Pride, to satisfy the feeling of Retribution. Revenge does not know how to forgive and is intolerant of other people's behavior; it sometimes reacts to the most far-fetched irritants. As a clear form of manifestation of Pride, vindictiveness does not recognize the right of others to be different. Vengeance is smart and unusually inventive for unexpected cunning tricks and dirty tricks.
Vengefulness, very often, accompanies a person’s character trait as Obsession. One main thought, the Goal and the Object of their passion with complete Obsession drills into the brain of a vengeful person. Look how many strong words there are in this sentence. So terrible is revenge, which takes extreme forms.
Having endowed another person with the property of Evil, Vengefulness is offended when he does not behave as she would like. The exit of another from the zone of her control becomes a reason first for resentment, and then for hatred, anger and revenge.
Manifestation formula: Retribution > Resentment > Hatred > Malice > Revenge > Unforgiveness > Grudge > Intransigence
Vengefulness is a constant, no time limit, desire not only to return to the offender the pain and suffering experienced, but also to cause even greater destruction. As the Vengeful Man says, debt is worth paying. Vengeance in conjunction with unforgiveness, rancor, and intransigence is based on the feeling of Retribution.
The feeling of Retribution requires satisfaction and blood!
Who are the Vengeful People?
Vindictiveness is inherent in insecure and dissatisfied people, with low self-esteem and a weak Inner Self. Through vindictiveness, they try to prove to themselves and the world their own importance and significance. Very often, the cause of vindictiveness is banal envy or jealousy. This is a particularly difficult case, because the objects of envy and jealousy are constantly changing, and the Vengeful person remains in a static position and does not develop as a person. Vindictiveness is quick to draw conclusions from situations, and does not bother itself with a deep analysis of the situation or events.
It is not always the right conclusion about whether the insult, resentment or trouble caused is really so large that the thought of revenge needs to be made all-consuming and main. Vindictiveness is short-sighted and does not even look into the future, what the result of revenge will be.
End of Revenge
A person who has been severely harmed is able to return to a normal state of mind either from unconditional forgiveness or from merciless retribution and satisfaction.
Vengeance loses its power where a person is able to understand and forgive, think about the future, begin to care, respect and love others, but that’s a different story. This is the story of a man with the question of the man himself - who I am. As a person who lacks a Strong Core and lacks education, vindictiveness without hesitation chooses a short-lasting emotion of satisfaction.
This is the essence of her nature, instinct and emotion. Revenge is often accompanied by character traits such as Sullenness, Anger and Suspiciousness.
A person with such a combination of character qualities will cross any forbidden standards; he is ready to take revenge for any insult, real or imaginary. Vindictiveness justifies itself: “When you are deprived of everything you love, there is only one thing left to do - revenge.”
Very often, Vengefulness has no statute of limitations and turns into a lifelong disease. A person who has fallen under her influence, like one possessed, thinks only of revenge.
If you want to rejoice for a moment, take revenge; if you want to rejoice all your life, forgive
Consequences of Vengeance
First, a feeling of Indignation starts, similar to an internal explosion caused by resentment, envy or jealousy. Pride, which includes selfishness and vindictiveness, is affected.
When a person shows vindictiveness, changes occur in his body in the form of a hormonal surge of Adrenaline.
Selfishness completely blocks sending painful signals from the Mind and consciousness. The devilish fire of Vengeance flares up inside a person. Plans for revenge are brewing. Man is no longer his own master, being completely dependent on his manifested vengefulness of the Evil and the Beast within.
A vengeful person devours himself, stops seeing the sun in the sky, becomes an embittered negativist, loses the opportunity for personal growth, loses the meaning of life and health.
At the same time, Vengeance is weak in effectiveness, constantly being in a mode of exhaustion and consumption of human strength. A stronger step as a similar or stronger response is Forgiveness. To forgive means to be stronger. To forgive means to submit the action to the Higher Powers for judgment.
Indifference is not an option
Only the feeling and power of Indifference can completely cope with the feeling of Revenge, or prevent it from manifesting itself; it will either forgive or simply ignore the offender, however, if these are not extreme forms of Indifference.
The feeling of revenge is impulsive, based on the desire to punish, to give the offender what he deserves. This is a powerful emotion that many people cannot cope with on their own. One thought is spinning in my head - to take revenge on the offender. What is the nature of this phenomenon, why does the feeling of revenge arise, what is behind it?
Origins of the desire for revenge
The psychology of revenge lies not only in the area of combating negative emotions. Everything is much deeper: even a completely calm person can want revenge. Some have been hatching plans for revenge for years. The trigger can be resentment, jealousy, humiliation or betrayal - any feeling or action that violates the boundaries of comfort. Its external basis is the actions and words of other people.
But in fact, the reason for the occurrence of revenge is one’s own attitude to certain external circumstances.
The boundaries of personal freedom have been violated - someone decided to act in one way or another without consulting or grossly violating our plans and concepts of life. Used us as a tool to achieve his goals:
- to rise at the expense of others;
- to appropriate someone else's property;
- disrupt plans and destroy dreams, albeit unwittingly, or rather, without thinking in advance about our feelings (perhaps assuming negative consequences).
“I want to take revenge”: how does the feeling of revenge develop?
- Settle scores by creating a similar situation for the offender.
- Receive compensation, retribution for the suffering and losses suffered.
- To achieve justice, that is, to establish a certain “parity of troubles” in order to balance them, repay and equalize the damage.
But before you start acting impulsively, realizing your desire for revenge, answer yourself the main questions:
– What exactly do I want to get by taking revenge?
- What will this do to me?
– What result will I get (or can I get)?
According to the avenger, the feeling of revenge and its implementation should lead to:
The triumph of justice.
That is, set a goal, achieve its implementation, prove to yourself and others that justice has been restored. But there is one “but” here: the desire for revenge will not go away, it will not disappear. That is, another event will occur, perhaps equally brightly negatively colored, but it will be exactly DIFFERENT.
Feeling of power.
An idea appears that everything can be changed, that you can influence another person or situation. But again, this is not an opportunity to change the past, but a modeling of a new situation.
Getting rid of heaviness.
But this, most likely, will not happen. Or it will be for a short period of time, a moment, a moment, a period. And difficult memories of the past will remain for a long time, perhaps forever.
And the most important thing is not even in the illusory feeling of solving the problem. And the fact is that when realizing the desire for revenge, a person spends his life, the time allotted to him, not on himself, not on becoming happier and living every moment with quality. And on others, on thoughts and thoughts about them.
Moreover, anger does not allow you to feel other, brighter, positive, constructive emotions. It destroys, violates mental and, ultimately, physical harmony. Leads to anxiety and fear. After all, a feeling of revenge, once it arises, can destroy everything positive for the rest of your life, turning into a constant search for means and tools of revenge. Ultimately - to the destruction of your own life.
It is still possible to cope with the desire for revenge
Build your own house or continue to destroy someone else's? It would seem that the answer is obvious. A heavy desire for revenge that interferes with positive thinking, feeling and living is unconstructive. But what to do with it, what to do and how to act?
It is necessary to impartially deal with your own messages and desires, to find out the true nature of revenge:
Do I want to prove that I'm right?
But to whom and why? Why prove something to someone who doesn’t need it and doesn’t take into account our feelings and desires from the very beginning. The best way out is to ignore such people, draw conclusions from their actions and have nothing in common with them in the present and future.
What will I experience?
Analyze what I will experience if I realize the feeling of revenge: gloating, satisfaction, joy? That is, the desire to cause another person suffering can bring pleasure? If you stop, realizing this, you can get much more morally, feeling less vulnerable and weak than someone who could not stop. And this is already a victory, a real one, and above all, over oneself, one’s weaknesses and fears. A strong person is invulnerable and protected by his confidence.
Revenge is insidious in its successful implementation.
What if you want to repeat it again and again? Then this instant strong (and negatively colored emotion) will cyclically, over and over again, destroy the personality, psyche, and, ultimately, life.
The psychology of revenge is very insidious. She skillfully disguises herself as such noble impulses as the desire for justice and restoration of a sense of dignity. In fact, according to the boomerang law, everything comes back. The message of anger will return with anger. Emptiness - emptiness. By stopping the vicious circle, moving away, ignoring and becoming higher, you can break this path to nowhere. And wake up happy, letting go of the problem, taking care of your own life, aiming for happiness. This is what is important and unconditional.
“Nothing, the time will come, and everything will return to you!”, “There will be a holiday on my street! You’ll find out what’s worth a pound!”
“Just give it time, I won’t leave it like this!” — a familiar psychology of revenge, isn’t it? Or here’s another gem: “God sees everything! You will be rewarded!” God may see, but you haven’t thought about it, that he also hears your thoughts - which will never pass without a trace for you. The feeling of revenge kills first of all the one who experiences it! Think about it, or maybe change your mind...
To begin with, in order to understand what we are dealing with, I propose to clarify what revenge is? This is an action in retribution for harm caused, retribution for something. It would seem that a noble act is to punish a person for an atrocity. But not everything is as beautiful as we would like!.. Man is designed in such a way that he is inclined to embellish literally everything, even absolutely terrible things. For what? I assume that one of the reasons is to divert attention from oneself. The psychology of revenge is a very clever mechanism.
Let's say you decide to take revenge on someone for insulting you. Firstly, not everyone will be inflamed with a thirst for revenge in response to humiliation. There are many other reasonable ways to resolve the situation: get away from an unpleasant conversation, find out why an unflattering review was addressed to you, and finally laugh and say “come on!” But righteous anger seethes inside you, pushing you to action. The question involuntarily arises: “Where do so many emotions come from in exchange for insult?” After all, in essence, these are just words, nothing more. Instead of understanding your own inner world, why evil did not bypass you, you dream of giving the offender his due!
The feeling of revenge arises for various “reasons”: starting with serious ones (betrayal, moral or physical humiliation, murder, love triangle, childhood insults) and ending with paradoxical things - looked the wrong way, stepped on your foot, hurt your pride. Don’t you think this psychology of the desire for revenge is strange?.. It seems that the person was waiting for circumstances to serve as a trigger. He was already READY for revenge, and was just waiting for the right moment to show it. Simply put, you need a reason! If you don’t show your psychology of revenge without a reason, people won’t understand and will judge you. And in the case of a “hook”, your actions are justified! First of all, you will justify yourself to yourself - your conscience will not gnaw, because I acted in response to evil!
We have noticed that truly creative people are not preoccupied with the desire for revenge; their space is completely occupied by other thoughts and vibrations. The psychology of revenge arises where one’s own “I” degenerates. What’s easier: to admit that I feel hatred, hostility towards people, or to take out the negativity accumulated over the years (and possibly centuries) on the first “scapegoat” that comes along? You can’t say anything - very noble! By the way, pay attention to the words: revenge and take out. They are essentially the same! A father can take out a bad mood on his children, a director can take it out on his employees. It turns out that the negative of revenge is already inherent in a person, before its “apparent cause”. I believe the psychology of revenge is now clear.
How to deal with the desire for revenge?
Ask yourself, who do you want to take revenge on and for what? List these people, remember their actions towards you. And answer the first thing that comes to mind:
- for what purpose do you want revenge? (“Prove that I’m right!” – where did you get the idea that someone needs your proof. “Don’t leave him unpunished!” – in other words, cause harm to a person, then – why are you better?)
- Imagine what you will experience when your feelings of revenge find a way out? Be honest with yourself. Satisfaction, delight, gloating, consolation? Look at yourself from the outside - does evil bring you pleasure?..
- what benefits will you get when you take revenge? Answer here yourself, without prompting.
And, most importantly, what will you feel after that? Don't you think you'll get bored... and want to repeat it?..
The psychology of revenge is resourceful and is perfectly disguised as nobility and dignity. No one openly admits that his dark soul lives with a desire for revenge, NO MATTER to whom or for what.
The only way to deal with revenge is to look at yourself without embellishment, to answer: “Who am I? And what do I want from life? Otherwise... “Life, like an echo, returns what you send. Emptiness begets emptiness, malice breeds malice. Revenge, like a boomerang, finds the one who sent it. When you throw random blows, sooner or later you will realize that you are hitting yourself.” (With)
