A large-scale flash mob has been launched on Facebook with the hashtag #I'm Afraid to Say.
The fair sex, and sometimes even men, talk about their experiences of sexual violence. The idea of creating such an action belongs to the Ukrainian journalist Anastasia Melchenko. She herself told her story, and this became an example.
Here are some of those stories that have changed people's lives.
“Once upon a time, when I was young and beautiful, but, unfortunately, very stupid, I needed to get from Berlin to Magdeburg. I was greedy to pay money for the train and hitchhiked ... Nothing complicated - you walk along the highway and catch a ride. It is desirable that there be one driver in the car, and not a drunken company ... I did not know that it was forbidden to stop on the autobahn and walk along it too. So I was the only one so smart in all of Germany, and, oddly enough, the truck stopped, the driver was alone, an ordinary young proletarian.
Literally half an hour later, the young proletarian stopped the car on a special long-range patch for rest, drew the curtains and ordered me to get back. I was surprised. We just had such a good chat, he was talking about his father, the same truck driver and proletarian, and I told him about perestroika ... My surprise, however, had no success, they showed me a hairy fist, yelled some terrible words and quickly thrown back, where the proletarians have a bunk.
I was lying on my back in a pile of some kind of blankets and looked indifferently at the young muscular proletarian swarming at me. I didn't feel hurt or embarrassed. It was no different from what those with whom I had had occasion to sleep voluntarily did before. I didn’t feel any difference, the same longing and contempt, I didn’t even feel any hostility towards this person, he was so similar to everyone else.
And when he drove me another thirty kilometers ahead and dropped me off God knows where, literally in an open field, I felt nothing but annoyance that they hadn’t taken me to the place and I had to get settled somehow again. There was a fork, and in order to get to the right highway, it was necessary to break through the blackberry hedge, and then cross the field, and only when the field was behind, and cars were already flying past, ”said one of the girls in the microblog.
Often the victims of violence are children, adolescents who are afraid to tell adults about their misfortune, and growing up with similar “life lessons”.
“I was 12. And I never got into an elevator with strangers. He was standing near the mailboxes, and when we drew level, he sharply pushed me into the elevator opening, simultaneously pulling up the school dress with one hand, and covering my mouth with the other. I broke free and ran down the corridor, he caught up, grabbed me by the hair, all the time saying “don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid” ... I didn’t scream. He was so terrified that there was no voice. And then some people came into the entrance, and he ran away.
Never talked about it to anyone. The most terrible thought was - what if the parents find out what will happen? But I still remember this face, ”recalls the already matured heroine of the story.
Journalist Anastasia Melnichenko launched a flash mob “I'm not afraid to say” in the Ukrainian segment of Facebook against violence against women.
Under a special hashtag, users tell stories of rape and sexual harassment they have experienced, some men support them, others believe that the flash mob was sucked from the finger.
Journalist Anastasia Melnichenko wrote on Facebook on July 5 about sexual harassment by men she experienced in her childhood and adolescence, emphasizing that in such situations the victim should not feel guilty.
I am 6-12 years old. We are visited by a relative who likes to put me on his lap. At some point, when I was already a teenager, he wants to kiss me on the lips, I get indignant and run away. They call me impolite.
I am 13 years old. I’m walking along Khreshchatyk, carrying home a package of groceries in each hand… Suddenly, the man walking towards me abruptly changes the trajectory of movement and grabs me between my legs with a running start, so hard that he lifts me up on his arm. I'm so shocked I don't know how to react. The man lets me go and calmly walks on.
I’m 21. I broke up with a psychopath, but I forgot my grandfather’s vyshyvanka… I go to his house, he twists me, forcibly undresses me and ties me to the bed, doesn’t rape me, “just” physically hurts me… He takes pictures of me naked and threatens to post pictures on the Internet . For a long time I am afraid to tell what he did to me, because I am afraid of the photo ... But I am afraid, because I am ashamed of my body.
Anastasia urged women under the hashtag #I'm not afraid to tell (I'm not afraid to say) to tell their stories so that men understand what is happening around.
Have men ever wondered what it's like to grow up in an atmosphere where you're treated like meat? You didn't do anything, but everyone thinks they have the right to make push-and-pull movements. 
and manage your body. I know it's unlikely they'll get it. I would not explain anything at all, but, unfortunately, they are half of humanity.
The hashtag got a huge response in the Ukrainian segment of Facebook, under the hashtag #I'm not afraid to tell women tell their stories about sexual violence.
I was 9 years old or so. I remember that day I wanted to dress so as to be beautiful. I wore a pink skirt and a long-sleeved blue blouse with a headband around my hair. I really liked myself...
He was about 50. Trousers, a brown turn-down collar, smoky sunglasses, an emerging bald head, a diplomat in the hands. Not some marginal or dumbass. representative and respectable man aged.
“Girl, where is the nearest school here? I am looking for young artists for filming in films.
"Don't you want to act in films?"
The film was called The Gardens of Babylon. So he said.
He needed to check something. And he took me to the nearest front door. Inside it was noisy, cool and empty. And then he started pawing me. And I stood and endured. Elders must be obeyed. Maybe he really needs to check something. He's making movies.
I'm 18. I fight with my parents and run away from home, walk down the street and cry. Some man says to me: "Girl, what happened?" I tell him everything, and he says: "Come on, I'll make you coffee, you'll go away." I believe him and go, fool. At home, he rapes me and lets me go. I return to my room, I am silent and take a long shower. When a friend heard this story, all she said was what a great boyfriend you have, didn't leave you [after that].
I'm 15. Winter evening, returning home from training. On the bus, two cops in uniform and with seeds press me against the railing, blocking me from others, and offer to “spend the evening culturally only with me. Why not? How do you not want it? And again, and again, all those half an hour that I had to go. I don’t remember how I ran away, but I remember that none of the passengers, of course, helped - everyone turned away, and everyone pretended that nothing was happening.
Men also began to react to the flash mob, many are outraged by how cruel society is towards women.
I read about a dozen stories under the hashtag #I'm not afraid to say. I want to get drin with nails and frantically fuck immoral freaks. Most striking stories with girls 6-10 years old. This is a fierce f **** c! And the common mantra in society “it’s your own fault, be silent”, which is mentioned in almost every post, is torn to pieces. A society of slaves and cowards… The right hashtag! Right idea!
Others speak out against the flash mob, consider it anti-male and bloated out of nothing, and emphasize that men also suffer from violence, including from women.
In response to the anti-man flash mob #I'm Not Afraid to Say, they offer to respond with a mirror image #babaDinamo. You know, everyone has different cases in life, but this does not mean that everyone around is idiots).- VYACHESLAV PONOMAREVDear women, I run the risk of breaking your “thrust”. The role of the victim, the weaker sex, gender inequality and all that ... I'm a man, I'm 37, and when I was 11, an elderly debauchee tried to seduce me. Lie down with me to sleep. I ran away when he started to feel me. Sex didn't happen. Child molestation is disgusting, forced sex is unworthy. And what is the floor for? Unless only women can suffer? A woman can be both a victim and a rapist. Or an accomplice.-EVGENY MITSENKO
After posts from men, Anastasia Melnichenko added a call to her first post to share similar stories with them.
Facebook has already launched similar hashtags #I'm not afraid to Say and #IamNotAfraid so that stories about violence are published by Russian-speaking and English-speaking users.
AT in social networks flash mob is gaining momentum #I'm not afraid to say. The action for the first time encouraged many women to speak out about cases of sexual violence. Through social networks, you can once again look at the experience that many in the post-Soviet space simply ignore.
We all know that rape is a highly traumatic experience for both women and men. It is extremely difficult to go after it, and even when society begins to escalate with the phrases “it’s your own fault”, “there is nothing to endure quarrels in public”, “be patient, be proud”, then it becomes even more difficult to return to normal life. It may seem to many of us that the rape of women is an extremely rare case: in 2015, the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Belarus registered 145 cases of rape. In neighboring Russia, official government statistics are looked at rather critically, as they do not reflect the scale of the problem - according to the results of surveys by the National Independent Commission of the Russian Federation on Women's Rights and Violence Against Women in general, about 22% of the entire female population of Russia has been subjected to at least one rape (with only 8% of them applied).
Unfortunately, it was not possible to find the results of such studies for Belarus, but the closeness of the cultural and sociological problems of both countries does not cast doubt on the fact that Belarus is not far removed from Russia. The scale of the problem in human society can be catastrophic - in 1998-2000, South Africa ranked first in rape in the world: 500,000 cases of rape per year, 25% of men in surveys stated that they had raped someone at least once (sic!)
Given all of the above, the #I'm not afraid to say is an extremely important red flag for the societies of the former Soviet Union The problem of rape exists and we need something with this case.
Here are some of the stories the media chose from #I'm not afraid to say:
“I'm not afraid to say. And I don't feel guilty.
I am 6-12 years old. A relative is visiting us. He loves to put me on my knees. At some point, when I was already a teenager, he wants to kiss me on the lips. I get angry and run. They call me "ignoramus".
I am 13 years old. I walk along Khreshchatyk, carrying home a bag of groceries in each hand. I pass the segment from the KSCA to the Central Department Store. Soon my home. Suddenly, my uncle, who is walking towards me, abruptly changes the trajectory of movement and grabs me between my legs with acceleration. He grabs so hard he lifts me up on his arm. I'm so shocked I just don't know how to react. Uncle releases me and walks quietly on.
I'm 21. I broke up with a psychopath (real, clinical), but I forgot my grandfather's embroidered shirt at his house, which I called out to him. I go to his house. He twists me, undresses me by force and ties me to the bed. No, it doesn't rape. "Just" hurts physically. I feel powerless from the fact that I can not influence the situation in any way. He takes pictures of me naked and threatens to post pictures on the Internet. For a long time I am afraid to talk about what he did to me, because I am afraid of photos on the Internet. And I’m afraid because I’m very shy about my body (it’s funny to remember now) ”
“I am 10. Village, stove. Grandma's neighbor came in on some business. He sat next to him, stroking his knee and above. I have a stupor, I don't know what to do.
I am 13. The same village. I spent the evening on the dam with guys I've known for years. They didn't do anything special. We sat and chatted. I'm sorry, I'm going home. I understand that some of the guys are following me.
Next picture: I'm in the nearest bushes, they are trying to pull off my underpants. I actively fight back. This is where it ended. They didn’t succeed, and then everything was brought into the game. And all relatively children were 13-16. And I pretended it was nothing to worry about.”
“I’m 12 or 13, my parents and brother and I are at a recreation center either near Odessa, or near Berdyansk. Wooden houses and showers in the corners of the base. Even before lunch after the beach, I went to the shower to wash off the sand and water. For some reason, Mom didn’t go, but what could happen in the shower room 200 meters from the house, in the middle of the day in a crowded base.
But there was no one in the shower. I undressed and began to wash in the booth farthest from the door. And a naked man walked into the women's shower room. He squeezed me in a corner and began to touch all the places. Lucky - after a couple of minutes, a gang of aunts collapsed. The freak quickly ran out. Then my dad searched for him for a long time at the base and neighboring ones. I didn't find it."
The flash mob #I'm Not Afraid to Say is actively discussed on social networks, which prompted many women for the first time to talk about sexual harassment that they experienced at different ages. They all share their stories of helplessness and shame in order to confront sexual abuse and support other girls who cannot seek help, withdrawing into themselves after a nightmare.
When we read articles about rapists and their victims, we involuntarily twitch with horror and disgust, and the compassionate thought “what a horror” flashes through our heads. After all, everyone is well aware that it is extremely difficult to get rid of the physical and moral injury caused by sexual violence, and even more difficult to admit it to other people. But have we thought about the fact that every woman, alas, at least once was a victim of sexual harassment, which humiliated her and made her feel "dirty" and "wrong"? Unfortunately, this is not a controversial issue, but a statement of the fact that girls, starting from a very young age, experience unhealthy attention from the opposite sex.
And this is not about innocent flirting, dating or natural sexual attraction. And about the fact that without the permission of a person they make him a sexual object and allow themselves to be touched and grossly harassed. Moreover, this happens due to the fact that a woman of any age, often also a minor, for many is just a moving object that provokes the thought of sex.
The fact that this is wrong should not only be said, but also shouted to the whole world. Therefore, a Ukrainian flash mob appeared on social networks with the hashtag #I'm Not Afraid to Tell, in which women write frank posts with confessions about what kind of sexual harassment they have experienced in their lives. Such a bold and important movement against violence was started by Anastasia Melnichenko, who told several stories from her life. She was the first to admit that the girl has been experiencing dirty and unpleasant actions in her direction since the age of 6. And at a conscious age, she can become the object of blackmail, which rests on shame.
“I'm not afraid to say. And I don't feel guilty.
I am 6-12 years old. A relative is visiting us. He loves to put me on my knees. At some point, when I was already a teenager, he wants to kiss me on the lips. I get angry and run. They call me "ignoramus".
I am 13 years old. I walk along Khreshchatyk, carrying home a bag of groceries in each hand. I pass the segment from the KSCA to the Central Department Store. Soon my home. Suddenly, my uncle, who is walking towards me, abruptly changes the trajectory of movement and grabs me between my legs with acceleration. He grabs so hard he lifts me up on his arm. I'm so shocked I just don't know how to react. Uncle releases me and walks quietly on.
I'm 21. I broke up with a psychopath (real, clinical), but I forgot my grandfather's embroidered shirt at his house, which I called out to him. I go to his house. He twists me, undresses me by force and ties me to the bed. No, it doesn't rape. "Just" hurts physically. I feel powerless from the fact that I can not influence the situation in any way. He takes pictures of me naked and threatens to post pictures on the Internet.
For a long time I am afraid to talk about what he did to me, because I am afraid of photos on the Internet. And I'm afraid because I'm very shy of my body (it's funny to remember now)."
We publish a few more stories shared by girls on the web. All of them did not do this anonymously, but out of respect we will not write names and post their photos:
#I'm Not AfraidTo say, although I'm actually afraid, but that's enough. I don't know what's next, but in the end I never know.
I am 8. I am returning home from school, I call the elevator, at the last moment a boy, perhaps 25 years old, enters the elevator. Under the pretext of some kind of imaginary check that was supposed to take place at school, he takes me in the elevator to the top floor of the house, where we lived, then dragged to the attic and raped there.
Physics teacher, 10th grade. Basement (he also taught labor lessons there). He called to retake the laboratory ... When I was about to leave, I began to make jokes, such as “it’s a pity that I was born much earlier, otherwise we could ...”, and suddenly this - and we can now ... I fell into a stupor, could not move from horror. He started talking about “I would help you with physics” and reached for the fastener on my clothes. And here, in horror, I came out of a stupor, rushed out of the basement. She ran away, he did not catch up. I told about it to everyone I could - classmates, class teacher. But in the villages they do not like to raise a scandal. Then they just sympathized with me and said that I was not the first.
Neighbor showing off his dick, and I'm 4 years old, and I climbed on the window and, out of fear, closed the curtains to hide.
A man who ran into the entrance after me, a second grader, and grabbed between my legs, endless exhibitionist demonstrators in the entrances, a surgeon who was supposed to examine the injured coccyx, but apparently decided to play gynecologist and examined vaginally, with hands without gloves, without a nurse, 15 minutes ... An old moron who tried to rape me all night in a train compartment, another compartment neighbor who climbed onto my shelf at night and tried to climb into all places, a friend whom I knew for many years and with whom I completely trustingly stayed overnight after the party and who decided that this was an excuse to have friendly sex, numerous attempts to impose virtual sex, etc.
I am 10. Village, stove. Grandma's neighbor came in on some business. He sat next to him, stroking his knee and above. I have a stupor, I don't know what to do.
I am 13. The same village. I spent the evening on the dam with guys I've known for years. They didn't do anything special. We sat and chatted. I'm sorry, I'm going home. I understand that some of the guys are following me.
Next picture: I'm in the nearest bushes, they are trying to pull off my underpants. I actively fight back. This is where it ended. They didn’t succeed, and then everything was brought into the game. And all relatively children were 13-16. And I pretended it was nothing to worry about.
I am 12 or 13, my parents and my brother are at a recreation center either near Odessa or near Berdyansk. Wooden houses and showers in the corners of the base. Even before lunch after the beach, I went to the shower to wash off the sand and water. For some reason, Mom didn’t go, but what could happen in the shower room 200 meters from the house, in the middle of the day in a crowded base.
But there was no one in the shower. I undressed and began to wash in the booth farthest from the door. And a naked man walked into the women's shower room. He squeezed me in a corner and began to touch all the places. Lucky - after a couple of minutes, a gang of aunts collapsed. The freak quickly ran out. Then my dad searched for him for a long time at the base and neighboring ones. So I didn't find it.
I thought for a long time whether to write or not. There are events in my life that no more than five people know about. Not because I hide it, it's just that this topic is not raised. And at what point is it worth entrusting a person with a story about experienced violence? And is it worth it?
When I was eight years old, I was first sexually abused by a close relative. Sometimes I feel like I've worked it out. But now my hands are shaking and it's hard to breathe.
