"Shelezyak's planet. There are no minerals, no water, no vegetation, inhabited by robots!" Shelezyak's planet - no water, no minerals, inhabited by robots Planet inhabited by robots

Location and history

It is located in a remote part of our Galaxy, away from space routes, not far from the planet Sheshineru (several days of flight on an earthly spacecraft). Discovered by the Phixian expedition. There are no flights to the planet, its spaceport is always dusty and deserted. For 4 years there was only one guest - the space pirate Rats under the guise of Dr. Verkhovtsev.

The planet was originally intelligent life but with atmosphere, water, vegetation and animals. Also on the planet there were seas, mountains and minerals. Many years ago, according to terrestrial reckoning, an automatic spacecraft with universal robots crashed on it.

The robots eliminated the water on purpose so as not to rust (they were afraid of showers and floods).

As a result of their activities, by the 2080s, Shelezyaka became a gray ball, without mountains, air and oceans, with a dusty surface.

famous quote from Directory of planets:

There are no minerals. There is no water. There is no vegetation. Inhabited by robots.

aborigines

The planet is inhabited by a "very low" metal culture. Residents are descendants of universal robots of obsolete types, removed long ago (to g about du) from production, from a crashed spaceship, which formed a single machine civilization over many years. A little shorter than a man; heavy; love to give advice; if work allows, sit or lie down. They are straightforward, but capricious and touchy. An indicator lamp is lit on the forehead of each inhabitant.

Craftsmen, they know how to skillfully handle metal: they made a metal wing for the wounded talker, which Professor Seleznev did not distinguish from the real one for a long time, until they said about it. On a metal wing, the talker even flew the interstellar distance from Shelezyaki to his home planet Bluk.

Civilization is primitive-technical, not computerized. Agriculture completely missing.

Flora and fauna

The plant world has completely disappeared along with the atmosphere.

Information about the animal world of the planet is incomplete, since only one terrestrial expedition of Professor Seleznev visited it, and even that one flew away the next day. The planet is inhabited by small robot animals, mostly on wheels.

“Once again, people turned to me with complaints about the inaction local authorities. This time from the Kytmanovsky district. And as usual, I try to make the situation public. I hope it will be of interest to journalists, and then to the regional authorities,”- wrote on his page in Facebook AKZS deputy from the Just Russia party Vladislav Vakaev.

In general, here is the text of the letter:

- Hello. We are residents of Poroshino, Kytmanovsky district, we appeal to you with a request to help us solve the problem of uninterrupted cold water supply.

From May to July 2015, we had no cold water supply, as the water tower has exhausted its resources. Residents of st. Savinovo and many residents of other streets helped us raise money in the amount of 250,000 rubles (two hundred and fifty thousand rubles) to drill a new well.

They promised to return the money to us, but they did not return it. The administration of the village, represented by Mityaev A.I., concluded an agreement with JSC "Altai Hydrogeological Expedition" represented by General Director Epihin S.P. The work was done improperly, because After the well was commissioned, the same problems began. According to the contract, the depth of the production well should be 115m, and in the act of commissioning the well No. 594, the depth is only 80m.

After drilling, pipes remained, which then disappeared somewhere. We ask you to pay attention, because. we are in distress. We drink dirty water, we cannot fully wash things, water the garden. My child has had an intestinal infection. We live in unsanitary conditions.

In winter, you even have to melt snow to water your pets, wash dishes, etc. For 3 years, i.e. Since 2015-2018, we have repeatedly folded into new pumps that constantly burn out, cranes. As a result, the well became completely unusable.

The well was handed over unilaterally, because the former head of administration Mityaev A.I., did not follow the work of the contractor, because he was on a long "spree". We have repeatedly appealed to local deputies, but they only keep silent, they never help in anything. Why are they needed at all?

The head of the Kytmanovsky district Krasilov V.M. and his deputy Sankov A.E., knowing about our problem with water, do not react in any way. Seeing our phone numbers on the caller ID, they simply drop our calls and do not pick up the phone. They just laugh at us. Sankov A.E. offers to carry water from the river with yokes, as in the old days, or use the summer water supply from the river, which we don’t have, but there is only a swamp. Krasilov V.M. said that Soviet authority it's over, live as you wish!

How can people in such positions say such nonsense? They just don't see us as people.

We ask you to help us if local officials are not able to solve our problem. At the moment we drink rain, dirty water. My children have been ill with an intestinal infection. Help me please! We demand that the contractor complete his work (finish the well.
Sincerely, residents of Savinovo Street:

E. B. Dukhanina, N. N. Troshina, V. V. Lobanov, T. F. Lobanova, V. A. Sinev, E. I. Sineva, T. V. Butakova, O. A. Melekhov, V. S. Malyutina, and M. F. Buhtoyarova A. A. Bukhtoyarov G. I. Bogomolov L. S. Anisimkova A. P. Anisimkov , I. A. Soloviev, S. T. Brown, S. T. Ivanenko, R. P. Ivanenko, G. I. Rau, V. B. Rau, A. I. Dunaev, O. N. Dunaeva, S. A. Dubovskaya, and S. M. Kuleshov T. V. Kuleshova, E. A. Tarasova, K. G. Tsurkan, G. Anisenko, T. A. Anisenko, V. A. Zhurova, N. A. Antonova, S. I. Zhurova, A. V. Zhurov, N. P. Vavilova, and Vavilov A. A., Bogomolova E. A., Dukhanina V. P., Dukhanin N. A., Dronov V. Dronova T. N., Sinev A. A. F. A. Sinev, T. V. Moiseeva, E. A. Moiseeva, N. A. Gilev, V. N. Gilev, L. G. Bogomolova, A. V. Rau, and S.

"ON" our opinion:

Reading this letter from people, the population, citizens, voters... this is how an excerpt from the children's fantasy cartoon "The Secret of the Third Planet" comes to mind: "Shelezyak's planet - no water, no vegetation, inhabited by robots..."

According to the plot of the cartoon, not every corner of the universe has ideal conditions for life. And on one of the planets Shelezyak , inhabited by robots, local, in the complete absence of elementary comfort, lacked only a little - pure engine oil, just to function normally.

But, there problems arose due to someone's malicious intent (someone poured diamond powder into the lubricant). Here, as it seems, we have a mess - due to the irresponsibility and moral decline of those who, at the grassroots power level, should deal with the daily concerns of their fellow countrymen. And, if we recall the notorious “vertical”, then each such village and its unresolved problems is just a reproach to the “vertical”.

Therefore, since “they called themselves milk mushrooms” - comrade officials, so do something from what you are obliged to do! And subordinates and subordinates "vertically" should be roughly punished for negligence! Otherwise, why is it needed at all?

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We bought a robot vacuum cleaner. We bought thoughtfully, I studied the info on the internet, then we went to the store and took it for a test drive. Based on the results, they got their own.

Indeed, a robot. Works from one button. It turned on, cleaned itself up, drove off, stuck to the charger - turned off. Even an old grandmother can handle the controls.

Looks like a big fat pill. A compact Russian aunt sits inside him, talking. At the first start, I experienced pure, uncomplicated children's delight with a smile from ear to ear. Lyosha, having observed how he busily began to go around the furniture and healed completely independent life, commented: "What unhealthy crap!"

The device cheerfully drives around the room, sticks its round nose everywhere, eats dust and debris. Deftly goes around and dusts (vacuums?) Table legs. Under the table does not go in cycles, it is normally selected back. He has a shock-absorbing pad on his muzzle, so that they do not scratch each other with furniture. Performs commands "Face!", "Place!", "Die!". Deciding that the room is already clean - he crawls to the feeder, amusingly moving his nose and carefully darting, climbs to the base and turns off.

I remember how we also programmed the robot. I wrote the user interface and the exchange with the controller there. Mentally I estimate algorithms. I even wanted to work.

How does it clean?
We took the device only for dry cleaning. I liked the quality of cleaning. I launched it into a room with parquet, wet cleaning was carried out three days ago. After one room, I took out a couple of tablespoons of densely crushed dust from the dust collector. Not bad. Carried out a control wash with a damp sponge. I usually collect from her after every three or four square meters rolled up dust. Went all over the room. The sponge is completely clean! I took a cotton pad, wet it, wiped it in the very, very corners. I thought - well, then I'll pick up dust. But not really. Not sterile, of course, but better than expected. Hurrah!

Then we went with him to the carpeted room. The coating is middle-aged, caked, it was difficult for me to clean it with an ordinary vacuum cleaner, so it was Leshin's prerogative. In this room we have a sports complex, four racks in the middle of the floor. Racks did not frighten him, he traveled normally, cleaned well around them. It turned out that our beast is a male. For he began to mark the territory. Sometimes he left behind a lump of dense dust. Then, however, he picked them himself. When he turned off, he left a couple of lumps for me. Well, like, like he brought a caught mouse - that, they say, he worked. I nadybal half a glass of dust, dirt, sand. The coating was cleaned with a conventional vacuum cleaner with a turbo brush a day ago. Loosened the pile. Not bad, not bad.

Cleans well along the walls. He tries to climb into the corners with a thin brush-helicopter. There is a spot cleaning mode - for local pollution. Got him on too. Just carried out the old sofa, under it, of course, it was dusty. The dust is light, like poplar fluff. Put it in the dust, turned it on. Air currents from the brush-helicopter inflates this dust on the sides. Either this mode is for heavy particles, or you need to shoot a helicopter. Spat, sent for a complete cleaning. I cleaned it out, in one place I left specks - like pepper from a pepper shaker. Turned on the point mode - licked.

Noise
Louder than a broom, but quieter than a conventional vacuum cleaner. A timid two-month-old baby is calmly in the same room with him and even falls asleep. At night in an apartment with good audibility, it can interfere with sleep.

What do you have to do anyway?
Clean up the room. Pick up things from the floor. It's in your best interest to take out the chairs. I take out the children's tables, move the crib away from the wall. In principle, this is how it is done with any cleaning.
Dislikes wires on the floor, but we don't have anywhere. The curtain is not afraid, it passes under them, touching them.
Then you need to shake out the plastic container, clean the filter and brushes. It is most convenient to clean it with an old vacuum cleaner, but too lazy to get it out.
Keep the base always connected - he lives on it.
Convince the child not to catch him, not to ride on him, to explain to the guests that this is not a floor scale, otherwise someone will climb up.

What can't?
Remove where it does not fit geometrically. If you have a table in the corner of the room, you will either have to push the table out, or remove it yourself between the legs and the wall.
Hung on a five-centimeter threshold, offended, whined and turned off. There is an algorithm for disentanglement from wires and fringes - not tested. I couldn’t get on a thin light rug with fringe around the edges - I crushed it.

In general, it suits our apartment very well - a large area, parquet, no wires on the floor, not cluttered with furniture. Good device, I recommend. Perhaps we will accept him as a member of the family. Well, as a pet, chesslovo. Rides, purrs, gently pokes at the feet. Now she is eating, my dear. We need to give him a name.

Now I want a device so that I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher and put on a duvet cover. And Sasha said that he needed a robot that would clean clothes for him, stand in the corner and lie next to him before going to bed when his mother was busy (here I almost shed a tear). If you know what else is useful - tell me urgently, otherwise I suddenly need it, but I don’t know ?!

P.S. Now I'm afraid of two things - either he will one day run away with our valuables and documents, or he will enslave the Universe.

There is water, technical, though. For drinking, you have to travel with a wonderful little blue eggplant of 30 liters and the draft power of the Daughter / Son-in-law / Grandson system.
Minerals - yes - no. In the burnt peat, one can hardly find anything useful, except for a hoe, with which the former owner of the former Baskerville dog drowned in the former swamp. For the same reason, it’s bad with vegetation - what the hell grows there, except for radishes the size of chickpeas, sad zucchini, strawberries, green onions and black currant bushes.
...But there are two robots on Shelezyak's planet. And although the diamond dust in the lubricant is already thicker than the lubricant itself, the robots continue to function to the delight of others and the draft power of the Daughter system.
... Robot No. 1 of an outdated design, not very serviceable, needs an upgrade or at least a gentle operation. The activity of robot No. 1 is chaotic and cannot be corrected in any form. On the contrary, when trying to change the settings, robot No. 1 becomes violent and seeks to return the system to the "Havos and Zen" position. How he manages to maintain homeostasis in this position is a mystery. When visiting Shelezyak's planet, robot No. 1 tries to inflict the maximum amount of destruction on the planet by minimally interfering in its affairs. As a rule, he succeeds. For example, today robot #1 was varnishing the old, rotten porch of bath #1, owned by robot #1. And since it was good outside around +30, and robot No. 1 was not very serviceable, and the varnish emits some miasma, after a rather short time, robot No. 1 became unwell. But the robot - he is a robot for that, he varnished the damned porch, which did not improve either the appearance or the condition of the mentioned porch, but rather worsened the condition of robot No. 1. Having finished varnishing - and not because the porch had ended, but because the varnish had dried up - robot No. 1 fell on the bed and groaned to let others know about its technical condition.
... But the draft force of the Daughter system could in no way render robot No. 1 all possible assistance in the difficult matter of varnishing the porch of bath No. 1. And not even because at that moment she was covering the new porch of bath No. 2 with brown paint - no, the draft force of the Daughter system finished this dirty work yesterday. No. It's just that there is also a robot number 2 on Shelezyak's planet.
... Robot #2 - more new version, is also not very serviceable and needs a significant upgrade, or at least in a gentle mode of operation. But robot #2 has something completely wrong with the operating system, because it's impossible to stop robot #2. Neither rain, nor snow, nor hail, nor famine, nor pestilence, nor the scorching sun are able to make adjustments to the life of robot No. 2. When visiting Shelezyak's planet, robot #2 develops a frantic activity that stops with the onset of complete darkness. At dawn, robot No. 2 turns on, lands in the garden and the territories adjacent to the garden, from where it does not get out until sunset, not reacting to heat, insects and the natural needs of the body. For all 15 years of the existence of the planet, no one managed to rest on it and never - the planet was rebuilt (repeatedly), sown, hilled, repaired.
... This time, the draft forces of the Senior Grandson and Current Son-in-law systems, randomly visiting the planet, were absent for quite good reasons. It would seem - well, do purely girlish things: a beam of fields, mow the grass, and when draft forces of great power happen, then you can turn around in full breadth and power. But robot number 2 is not like that! Therefore, having at its disposal the draft power of the Daughter system - in a faulty state - and the draft power of the Younger Grandson system, for which only the "give-bring-get-out" option works, robot No. 2 laid paving slabs from bath No. 2 to. .. as long as that cursed tile was enough. In the meantime, the defective draft power of the Daughter system was thrown to drag the lining - the remains of the roof No. 1 of bath No. 2 - with the subsequent removal of the nails from it and the subsequent laying of the indicated lining in piles under a canopy. Robot No. 1 tried to show some resistance, since the canopy is a place where a car is placed in bad weather, but Robot No. 2 was adamant, and by what miracle the draft power of the Daughter system survived after this escapade - this mystery is great. Further... further, the draft force of the Daughter system was thrown into cutting linoleum, which had to be laid on the floor in bathhouse No. 2, so that it would lie down until the next weekend. By this bright moment, the draft force of the Daughter system already had tachycardia, dizziness, hands were shaking and legs were trembling slightly. But even the bloody boys in the eyes did not save the draft force of the Daughter system from cutting the linoleum, dragging it into the bathhouse No. 2 and carefully laying it on the floor.
... How did the draft force of the Daughter system finally reach the place of permanent deployment and did not even gouge either her car or the surrounding ones - the water is dark in the clouds. But to those who here kicked me for drinking antibiotics with red wine and vanged me for cirrhosis of the liver about this, I have an answer - robot No. 2 will cope with bringing me into full combat readiness much faster and more successfully than red wine, antibiotics and cirrhosis of the liver.
From the last forces of all I kiss into the saprophytic microflora.

"The Iron Planet. No minerals. No water. No vegetation. Inhabited by robots." We all remember this quote from the cartoon "The Secret of the Third Planet", based on the story "Alice's Journey" by Kir Bulychev. So - the planet "Iron" inhabited by robots exists. Mars is the fourth planet from the Sun and the seventh largest planet. solar system, the nearest "neighbor" of our native earth. Judge for yourself, the entire "population" of Mars is seven robotic rovers. Of which at the moment only two are functioning ("alive") - the "Americans" Opportunity and Curiosity.

So, we will tell you more about each of the "natives" of the Red Planet:

Lander Mars-2

1) Mars-2- Soviet descent vehicle with an automatic Martian station and the PrOP-M rover (Permeability Assessment Device-Mars). It was the world's first attempt to soft-land a descent vehicle on Mars, which, however, ended in failure. Mars 2 was the first lander to reach the surface of Mars.

Mars 2 crashed on the surface of the Red Planet in Nanedi Valley (Xanth Earth) due to an error in the onboard computer in November 1971. The Mars 2 lander was the first man-made object on the planet.

Soviet rover PrOP-M

2) Mars-3- Soviet descent vehicle, twin brother of the crashed Mars-2. The first and only soft landing of a descent vehicle on Mars in Soviet cosmonautics took place on December 2, 1971. The lander and the PrOP-M rover successfully reached the planet's surface, but data transmission from the automatic Martian station stopped after 14.5 seconds. The station was presumably out of order due to a dust storm. Information from the rover was not received.

Mars rover Sojourner

3) "Sojourner"("The Alien") is a NASA space agency rover launched as part of the Mars Pathfinder program in 1997. The spacecraft landed on the surface of Mars on July 4, 1997. The rover was designed for a 7-sol (sol - Martian day) mission, but despite this it worked for 83 sols, until the Pathfinder descent station failed. The last contact with it took place on September 27, 1997, along with this, the connection with the rover was cut off, despite the fact that it was in working order. The location of the last stop of the Sojourner rover is still unknown.

Photo of the landing site of the landing module "Beagle-2"

4) "Beagle-2"- a lander developed by the European Space Agency and intended for research as part of the Mars Express mission in 2003.

Beagle 2 was supposed to study the geology, mineralogy, geochemistry of the landing site, collect data on the meteorological situation and climate, and search for traces of the existence of life on Mars. The Beagle 2 successfully landed on Mars on December 25, 2003, but the craft failed to communicate.

The exact landing site of Beagle 2 was found almost 12 years later, on January 16, 2015. The craft was identified in images from the HiRISE camera on NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. It turned out that the Beagle 2 landed in the planned area (approximately 170 x 100 kilometers) 5 kilometers from its center. After landing, the solar panels did not fully deploy. Full deployment of all panels was necessary in order not to block the radio antenna that transmits data and receives commands from the Earth through the relay - the Mars Express satellite.

"Death" selfie of the Mars rover "Spirit" - on the left you can see the loose soil in which he got stuck.

5) "Spirit"("Spirit") - the NASA space agency's Mars rover launched by the United States as part of the Mars Exploration Rover project. The lander carrying the rover made a soft landing on Mars on January 4, 2004. The rover traveled the planet for more than five years, until in May 2009 the Spirit got stuck in a sand dune. Spirit's last contact with Earth was on March 22, 2010.

Mars rover Opportunity

6) "Opportunity"("Opportunity") is a NASA space agency Mars rover. It landed on the surface of Mars on January 25, 2004 (three weeks after the first Spirit rover). The Opportunity landed in Eagle Crater, on the Meridian Plateau.

To date, Opportunity continues to operate effectively, having already exceeded its target of 90 sols by more than 40 times, having traveled 42 kilometers, all the while receiving energy only from solar panels. cleaning solar panels from dust occurs due to the natural wind of Mars, which allows the rover to carry out geological research of the planet.

Mars rover Curiosity

7) Curiosity("Curiosity") - the rover is an autonomous chemical laboratory several times larger and heavier than the previous Spirit and Opportunity rovers. Curiosity made a soft landing on the surface of Mars on August 6, 2012. At the moment, Curiosity continues research on the surface of Mars.

In the future, several more space missions with launches of rovers are planned to Mars (the European Exomars, the Russian Mars Aster, the American Mars 2020, etc.), so the population of the Iron planet will only increase.

And finally, according to good tradition, a small musical bonus)))