What are the main tenets of the “Kremlin school of negotiations”? How to resist manipulation and repel the attacks of your interlocutor? What are the four types of gain behavior? How to properly prepare for upcoming negotiations? How to defend your interests at the negotiating table, managing your emotions and the emotions of your opponents? Igor Ryzov’s book compares favorably with the main body of literature on negotiations in that it is built on the author’s rich personal experience in the field of procurement and sales and takes into account the behavior, tactics, emotional reactions and phraseology characteristic of his compatriots. It describes a variety of “hard” negotiation techniques, including those characteristic of the “Kremlin school,” but this is done more with the goal of teaching readers not to give in to pressure and avoid tricks on the part of opponents, rather than turning them into adherents of such methods. The author focuses on how to build a dialogue and achieve your goals in a calm, “rational” style, without sacrificing partnerships for the sake of momentary victory. In addition to work situations in which he himself participated, the author cites stories from the history of Russian and Soviet diplomacy, including the times of the Russo-Japanese and World War II. Anecdotes, humor and self-irony make the book an entertaining read, and many practical tasks, exercises and test questions make it a useful practical guide. At the same time, the abundance of quotes from third-party sources, works of psychologists and negotiation theorists, such as Cialdini and Camp, somewhat blurs the line of presentation. Nevertheless, I recommend this book to both professional negotiators and a wide audience - after all, we all often have to defend our interests in everyday life.

Three competencies of a successful negotiator. The outcome of negotiations is often assessed in terms of “win” and “lose.” But this approach is deeply mistaken. The idea that the goal of negotiations is victory over an opponent turns participants into duelists seething with hatred and prevents the building of long-term partnerships. It is more correct to view negotiations as a process in which you cannot win or lose, but you can always determine what stage you are at and what next step you should take.

Main ideas of the book
A successful negotiator must be a lion in defending his interests and a cunning fox in the ability to manage emotions - his own and others.
The flow of the conversation is controlled by the one who listens carefully and asks questions. The negotiation process includes two phases - “maneuvering” and “battle for gain”. The “combat” begins when the opponents reveal their goals to each other. If you cannot stop a rude and unceremonious opponent with counter pressure, continue the conversation in a businesslike manner, maintaining correctness. The most successful negotiation model is the “leader,” who combines confidence and correctness, defending his own interests without infringing on the interests of his partner. Try to move negotiations from an emotional to a rational plane. This is the only way to defend your position when dealing with a tough opponent. If your opponent accuses you of something, ask him to clarify his claims or partially agree with him. A compliment, a joke, an anecdote are good ways to resist attempts to unsettle you. By giving your interlocutor a choice between several skillfully drafted contract options, it is easier to get him to make a decision that is beneficial to you.

“Interests can and should change during the negotiations. A contract at any cost is very often too expensive.”

The negotiation process includes many aspects: searching for an agreement, exchange of opinions, discussion on controversial issues, mutual concessions, and so on. It is simultaneously based on logic and psychology. Moreover, the lower the level of negotiations, the more important the psychological factor. If at the level of interstate diplomatic dialogue the role of emotions is secondary, then at the everyday level they, as a rule, dominate. In business negotiations, the importance of the logical and psychological components is approximately the same.

“The “master” in negotiations is not the one to whom they came or came, but the one who asks questions. It is he who controls the regulations, although the opponent is sure that the situation is quite the opposite.”

Based on this, a successful negotiator must have three main competencies, or skills: 1) defend his interests at the negotiating table; 2) manage your own emotions and 3) manage the emotions of your interlocutors. To paraphrase Machiavelli, who argued that a wise ruler must simultaneously become like a lion and a fox, we can say that an effective negotiator needs to combine the strength of a lion in defending his interests and the cunning of a fox in the ability to manage emotions - his own and others.

“You need to treat your opponent not as a function he performs, but as a person. A person has emotions, and they often control his actions.”

Techniques of the “Kremlin school of negotiations”
Possessing all three core competencies is especially important to achieve success in so-called tough negotiations. A striking example of a tough approach is the “Kremlin school of negotiations,” the techniques of which were actively used by Soviet diplomats and politicians. This school is based on five main postulates:

“No one has ever squeezed better conditions out of a supplier than he does himself.”

Be silent and listen. Often it is enough to listen carefully to your opponent, encouraging him to continue speaking, in order to get all the necessary information from him and identify his weak points.
"To ask questions". By asking questions, you quietly take on the role of “host” of the meeting and begin to control the flow of the conversation. The interlocutor takes your questions as a readiness to agree to his proposal and loses his vigilance.
“Depreciate.” At the moment when the interlocutor thinks that he is already at the goal, you change the starting points, setting your scale of values. For example, “Do you think you’re unique?” or “I doubt your markers are selling well.” They’re not that attractive in appearance.” The opponent mentally “slides down” on his scale of values, experiences acute discomfort and strives to get out of the situation.
“Lay out a carpet.” This technique is similar to the Chinese stratagem “Show the enemy the way to life.” The wounded opponent is suddenly shown a way out, a chance to “win” while saving face. “Okay, if you insist, I’m ready to give you the opportunity to try your hand.” He rushes to this exit willingly, concluding an agreement on your terms.
“Leave in the unknown.” If the previous technique did not force the opponent to make concessions, there is another lever. “Well, then I’ll think about whether it’s worth giving you this project.” By provoking feelings of fear and uncertainty, you force your opponent to give up. This move, however, does not work for those who have overcome the feeling of “need” described by Camp.

“You cannot sacrifice your interests in the name of maintaining relationships. This is an unequal marriage. Strategically, you will still lose both the relationship and the benefit.”

One who is proficient in the techniques of the “Kremlin school” strives to swing the “pendulum of emotions” of the enemy as much as possible. In the first two and fourth steps, the opponent creates a positive mood, and in the third and fifth, the “pendulum” sharply deviates towards the negative. It must be borne in mind that such a tough style usually does not contribute to building strong partnerships and provides the negotiator with only one-time success. However, this is only true in theory. In practice, sometimes everything happens the other way around: the negotiator’s tough position creates an image of a strong and strong-willed person, and strength is associated with reliability. Therefore, in business they often prefer to work with those who firmly defend their interests, rather than with those who easily make concessions.

“Very often, our positions mean much more to us than benefits. Especially if you take the position of a “tank”. In this role, we completely forget about benefits and are busy defending our ambitions.”

How ethical are the methods of the “Kremlin school”? If the hard approach does not hide the desire to deceive the interlocutor, it can be considered as one of the completely ethical ways to achieve goals in competition. In any case, it is useful to master methods that will help you withstand a dialogue with a tough negotiator.

“Do not give in to the mood of the spirit of the one who insults you, and do not take the path on which he wanted to lead you” (Marcus Aurelius).

Four types of behavior in the struggle for profit
In negotiations there is a place for tactics and strategy, defense and offense, so the analogy with the confrontation between two commanders is quite appropriate. As in war, in the process of negotiations there is not only a stage of active “combat”, but also a stage of “maneuvering” that precedes it. During the “maneuver” phase, negotiators perform preparatory actions, try to obtain additional information, give themselves more weight in the eyes of the opponent, and strengthen their initial positions. “Maneuvering” is justified when you feel a lack of strength, means and resources to enter into a “battle.” If your chances of success have increased, start an open battle. The boundary between the phases of “maneuvers” and “combat” is the moment when opponents “demonstrate their benefits” - they reveal to each other what they are seeking in these negotiations, what their interests are.

“In our culture (by ours I mean the Russian-speaking space) it is very important to justify the refusal. But the justification must be unambiguous and clear, not giving the right to discussion.”

To succeed, you must clearly understand what model of behavior your opponent adheres to. We can distinguish four main models of behavior of a negotiator in a “battle for gain.”

“You need to have several arguments, but it is very important to be confident that you are right and during negotiations not to rush to lay them out, but to be a little greedy. Always keep your aces up your sleeve and only pull them out when necessary.”

“Timic” - unsure, but correct. The weakest model. The other side takes advantage of his uncertainty and politeness to impose his decision.
“Teenager” is insecure and incorrect. Hides his insecurities behind aggressiveness. He quickly gives up, feeling that his opponent is stronger and does not take him seriously.
“Tank” is confident, but incorrect. During negotiations, he behaves rudely and unceremoniously, trying to unbalance his opponent and crush him with his powerful pressure.
“Leader” is confident and correct. Conducts negotiations in a rational manner, defends his interests without infringing on the interests of his opponent.

“What does a manipulator do? He picks up one string at a time.”

Obviously, it will not be difficult for an experienced negotiator to achieve the desired result with opponents of the first two types. It’s more difficult when your interlocutor is a “tank”. Of course, in such cases you can choose counter-aggression. But this tactic is very risky, and if you are not sure of success, it is better to go another way. Do not succumb to your opponent’s provocations; respond to all his attacks softly and correctly, conducting the conversation in a purely businesslike manner and without slipping into retaliatory insults.

“…“I heard that your company is bankrupt”… “We bought Chinese goods - all this junk.” How to react to such phrases First of all, when such attacks are made, under no circumstances should you clarify who said this to your interlocutor.”

Naturally, it’s better not to turn into a “tank” yourself. Strive to master the “leadership” model of negotiations. Only a “leader” can consciously use the entire arsenal of various techniques and methods of conducting a discussion, taking either a hard or a soft position depending on the situation. Other types of negotiators lack either the confidence or correctness to do this.

“The best tactic in negotiations is to choose a position, stand on it for a long time and at some point retreat a little, asking for a mutual concession from your opponent.”

Negotiating with a tough opponent
Another important quality of a “leader” negotiator is the ability to regulate the emotional background of negotiations. There are only two main modes of negotiation - emotional and rational. Often during tough negotiations, the opponent deftly plays on the strings of the interlocutor’s soul, trying to transfer the dialogue to an emotional plane. Its purpose is to unsettle the enemy; after all, when emotions dominate reason, we easily make rash decisions. The key to success in negotiations is the ability to transfer them “from emotional to rational mode.” Only in a rational mode can you defend your position and reach an agreement in negotiations with a tough opponent. There are a number of techniques that allow you to direct the course of negotiations in a rational direction.

“The formula for success is a respected opponent... No matter what happens, in any situation - exactly this way, and no other way.”

“Reverse.” Remember value judgments are dangerous. One way to respond to a negative (non-personal) attack is to ask for clarification. So, the phrase “Something bothers me about the style of your presentation” can be answered with a question (“What style would be acceptable to you”) or a call (“Please advise what to change”). If your counterpart avoided answering, it means that there was nothing behind his claim, he was only trying to manipulate you. If your partner is constructive, he will willingly share his concerns with you, and the conversation will again acquire a rational character. This way you can not only repel the attack, but also find out the true intentions of your opponent.
“Partial agreement.” In response to your opponent’s claims, you partially agree with him, removing the intensity of the confrontation and at the same time trying to turn this agreement to your advantage. To the accusation of being overly self-confident, you can answer “You know, I’m really confident in myself. Let’s look at the details of my proposal again.”
“Bundle.” If you do not understand the motives of the manipulator, avoid answering all his questions and remarks. In response to his phrase, say a drawn-out interrogative “and-and-and” and wait for the thought to continue. This technique, however, should not be used in a conversation with someone who is higher than you in position or status.
"Marcus Aurelius". This technique was named after the Roman emperor, who formulated the principle “Do what you must, and come what may.” The essence of this approach is to achieve internal balance. In order not to fall into the trap of your own emotions, you need to distract yourself from the outcome of the negotiations and focus on the process. Remember that you are equally well prepared for both a positive and a negative outcome of the negotiations; you have already thought about what you will do in both cases. Now just do what you have to do, apply your skills and abilities, turn on your charm, present your arguments - and come what may!
"Hunter". Entering the “hunter” state means concentrating on the words of your interlocutor, trying to understand what exactly is behind his accusations. In response to your opponent’s attacks, ask him a question about the true reasons for his words, for example, “Do I understand correctly, you are afraid that we will not meet the agreed deadline?” As in the case of the “Reverse” technique, after such questions, either the conversation will return to a constructive direction , or the opponent will interrupt the dialogue, thereby revealing his reluctance to seek a compromise.
“Share a smile.” Sometimes the interlocutor tries to provoke us in order to later accuse us of aggressiveness and withdraw from the negotiations. Such attacks can usually be repelled with a compliment or a friendly smile. One can try to gently reduce the attack to a philosophical generalization. In such cases, pre-prepared aphorisms and sayings of great people will be useful to you.
"Humor". The hostile attitude of the interlocutor can be extinguished by a successful joke or a well-timed anecdote. The main thing is to quickly return the conversation to its main topic.
In the arsenal of any negotiator there must also be techniques that help persuade the opponent to accept the proposal put forward to him. A good example of such a technique is “a game of contrasts.” It is actively used by car dealership sellers, first offering customers the most expensive car configuration option, and then moving on to cheaper ones, increasing their attractiveness due to price contrast.

Building a negotiation roadmap
The meeting of opponents at the negotiating table is only the culmination of the negotiation process. And the success of this meeting is 70% determined by the thoroughness of its preparation. Drawing up a “negotiation road map” will help you prepare for dialogue with your opponent. The essence of this method is to answer the seven questions presented below in order. A roadmap is not a script. The script is much tougher; it involves a certain sequence of steps. When each negotiator tries to impose his own scenario on his opponent, outbreaks of aggression cannot be avoided.

“What do I have at the beginning of the journey?” We collect and analyze information. What goals and interests does the opponent pursue? What arguments can he use? What does he know and think about me? In addition, we analyze our own strengths and weaknesses, disadvantages and advantages. We make a forecast of the results of negotiations.
“Where I want to go” What is your goal in the upcoming negotiations. It is important that achieving it depends on what you can control. Therefore, aim not “to receive an order for 1,000,000 rubles”, but “to obtain the client’s consent to start cooperating with our company.” Better yet, break the goal down into several small steps.
“Is it realistic?” Is the goal formulated in answer to the previous question achievable? If yes, we move on, if not, we go back a step and set ourselves a more realistic goal.
“How will I move towards the goal?” We determine “with whom, when and how” to negotiate. IN Clarification of the first two points will help to approve the rules of negotiations.
“What suits me” We establish what result of the negotiations will suit us (the so-called “desired position”) and the “red line” beyond which we cannot retreat. In this way we designate a space for retreat.
“What will I do if the decision is positive?” We provide measures to consolidate success (signing a contract, developing a plan to deepen cooperation) and prevent possible threats (breaking the agreement by competitors).
“What will I do if the decision is negative?” What will you do if your opponent pushes you below the red line?

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Psychology of influence

“TED TALKS. Words Change the World: The First Authorized Guide to Public Speaking"

TED ideologue and conference president Chris Anderson provides a guide to delivering unforgettable talks. You'll learn how to effectively communicate your ideas to your audience, spark their curiosity, and overcome your fear of public speaking. Anyone who is faced with the need to participate in presentations, speeches and events simply must read this book.

“No compromises. Win-win negotiations with extremely high stakes. From a top FBI negotiator"

Don't compromise! Use the 9 principles of negotiations from the FBI, outlined by the author of this book, a top FBI negotiator with 24 years of experience. This book is a fascinating and at the same time simple guide to any negotiations. Whether it's buying a multinational corporation or repairing a washing machine, Chris Voss's method will teach you how to achieve your goals.

"Charisma. The art of successful communication"

Our success in our personal lives and professional activities depends on our ability to communicate with people. Well-known experts in the field of communication psychology Allan and Barbara Pease reveal the main secrets of successful business and everyday communication. In this book you will find special negotiation techniques, as well as simple and effective communication strategies for quick contact with any interlocutor.

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A training book from a best-selling author on self-improvement. It will teach you to feel confident in any situation, quickly make contact with strangers, easily speak in front of any audience, influence people and be a leader. For anyone who wants to achieve greatness and inspire others to achieve.

From the author

What prevents you from achieving your plans 100%? Obviously, it depends on the situation. Every time a person wants to accomplish something, he (if he is a practical person) will first think: what will he have to overcome? And he often comes to the conclusion that the list of obstacles is almost endless.

What prevents negotiators, sometimes even very experienced ones, from achieving their goals? Inflexibility of views, unwillingness to compromise, personal ambitions... Yes, and this list goes on and on.

I get asked questions like this very often during trainings. I answer, each time taking into account the specific situation. However, over the years I have seen that there is value in generalizing the answers. As a result, this book was born, which does more than just give answers. I sought to write a textbook on one of the most difficult disciplines of business training: the negotiator's handbook. These pages contain exercises that will help you not only learn about various techniques for conducting successful negotiations, but also immediately practice. The book will become your personal negotiating tool, your arsenal of “fighting techniques.”

When I say “you,” I first of all mean those who have discovered negotiations both as a science and as a real art. The book will be useful for those who want to prepare for negotiations in advance, calculate all possible steps and options for the development of events. And it is not just words. Studying at seminars and trainings, including at the Camp Negotiation Institute (USA), I have always strived to bring all that is most valuable to life. All thoughts expressed on these pages were passed through the prism of my personal perception, experience, and consciousness. All examples given are from personal experience. All recommendations and advice have long been worked out in practice, and their benefits have been carefully analyzed. By whom and when?

May the reader forgive the apparent immodesty, but the answer will be – me. A person who has more than 17 years of experience in sales and purchasing. A person who had to conduct complex - and often, at first glance, unpromising - business negotiations for almost half of his 16-hour working time.

However, perhaps the reader has already come across my first book, “Tough Negotiations”? Or he heard about it from friends and acquaintances. I hasten to “disappoint” those who have not read it: the title of my first book does not at all mean that negotiation techniques are associated with rudeness or excessive pressure. Just the opposite!

I agree, these days we often encounter “cattle”, “boors”, “tanks”, “kings” and similar characters, with whom, however, we have to deal. The negotiating style of such “persons” sometimes, if not discouraging and confusing, at least causes difficulties in obtaining the desired result.

In this book, I will introduce you to special techniques of tough negotiations, used, among other things, by intelligence services. The book will allow you to learn the basic strategies of intercepting, holding and managing in difficult negotiation situations. And also - to develop and put into practice skills that allow you to control the progress of tough negotiations. Be sure to work it out - that’s why I give so many exercises. After all, negotiations are, first of all, practice! Good luck!

Introduction

Each of us remembers very well what he was interested in when he was very little, when he was growing up, when he received a student card... Having become a student, like many of my friends and peers, I began to practice karate: it’s interesting, prestigious, and - I’m a man , Damn it! The reader, most likely, has a good idea of ​​how training takes place in such sections: in spacious gyms, the trainer teaches the children special techniques, skills, and techniques. And of course, a strict coaching order: no conflicts on the street! Naturally, we sparred, but contact in the gym was always limited - dangerous, prohibited. Then we could easily consider ourselves (and, in principle, did so) as successful fighters - we took part in rallies, away training, went to sports camps, studied techniques, practiced them, demonstrated our skills at competitions of various levels... And of course, won, won belts. So we justifiably thought that we were serious fighters, full of confidence in ourselves and our abilities. But one trivial incident put everything into place.

Late in the evening, the guys and I were returning from training. Three guys of clearly hooligan appearance approached us and asked for a smoke. In such situations, the request to “smoke” does not seem entirely harmless; it is quite logical to expect consequences in the style of a “classic of the genre”. But you won’t scare us karatekas! What decision did we make? It's clear which one. Full of confidence in our professionalism, we decided to immediately take the fight. Of course: we are athletes, we are proficient in real martial art, we definitely should have won. They should have, but...

It was then that a certain “but” appeared, and it was this that turned out to be decisive. The reader has already realized that our forecast was inadequate. Yes, we were defeated, as they say, to smithereens. And to be honest, it hit us hard – both physically and mentally. These street hooligans turned out to be much faster and stronger than us. In fact, they did not have combat techniques studied by specialists, taught by trainers, not like we do. But our technology was not even useful to us!

So it turns out that a street fighter turns out to be stronger than any athlete who trains in the gym. Why? Because the athlete has certain skills, there is training, but there is not enough personal contact. And the most serious and powerful fighter is the one who is fluent in technique and knows street tricks.

This is a good place to note: street tricks should not be underestimated. From the point of view of science, they shouldn’t work, but in life, quite often they work, and how! We were young then, we were just beginning to gain experience. So they underestimated the power of the “street”.

What are these memories of mine for? – the reader asks. Doesn’t the author want to make it clear that instead of fighting, these unfortunate karatekas should have conducted skillful negotiations? Is this what the book is about?

Yes, the book is about negotiations. But the main thing in it is the technique of conducting them. By engaging in negotiations, you are, in essence, entering into battle. And here it’s worth knowing exactly how to act correctly - according to theory. But we must also be able to resist “street fighters” who do not know scientific theory.

The book you are holding in your hands combines the many scientific approaches that exist in the modern world of negotiations. And at the same time, it includes the rich life experience that has accumulated in the process of independent negotiations - both in business and in life, both with government agencies and with the business community.

Chapter 1
How to stop losing and start getting your benefits in negotiations

10 years of negotiations are better than one day of war.

A. A. Gromyko

What is negotiation - a science or an art? Many will answer this question: of course, science! After all, there are certain laws, there are well-honed systems, methods, by mastering which you can become a good negotiator. Of course it is. However, others will say: of course, this is art! After all, there are people who do not need any scientific laws - they are gifted in life. They not only know, they feel how to negotiate, they can negotiate anytime, with anyone, about anything, and always successfully. Their word, gesture is like a stroke of Picasso’s brush... Yes, and that’s true. But the heavenly gift is not given to everyone, although many strive (and tirelessly study) to rise to the level of Picasso. That is why I am of the opinion that negotiations are both an art, which is inseparable from a person, and a science, where there are clear laws, concepts and goals.

§ 1. Recognize the opponent’s goals and motives in negotiations

Negotiations are, in essence, a certain kind of sport. It is sport that unites both science and art. And in order to become a professional in sports, you need to constantly practice and train. Not a single book, not a single training will make you a great negotiator, only work on yourself. Therefore, dear reader, consider this book as a description of the training process. Everything else is in your hands. The more you train, the more noticeably your skill will grow, the closer you will be to your goal. And it doesn’t matter in what mode you train: during training, during club meetings, with sparring partners, in work situations... There is one rule: the more you train, the better the result!

Please think about the question: is it possible to win or lose negotiations?

Many schools of negotiation argue that, of course, you can and should win. This discipline even has a well-defined “win-win” approach, which you will learn about further. Others argue that “you can’t lose,” you always have to win.

My point of view (and I am convinced of this):

Negotiations are impossible lose or win. But you can very accurately determine where you are in the negotiation process and what the next step needs to be taken.

It is very dangerous to approach the negotiation process from a “win” or “lose” point of view. There are several reasons. Firstly, thinking about immediate winning or losing, we concentrate on tactics, forgetting about strategy. Negotiations turn into duels, and negotiators turn into duelists. Secondly, the assessment “won” or “lost” does not mean “good” or “bad” at all, because it is impossible to predict how the agreements will affect future processes. No one knows the future, we can only guess what will happen. Today it seems to us that we won the negotiations, and tomorrow we are already sad that we concluded such an unprofitable deal. Many such examples can be given.

One of my acquaintances had, as it seemed to him, very good and successful negotiations with a travel agency: as a result, he received a good discount on a trip. So he believed that negotiations - won. However, two days later the travel agency went bankrupt, so my friend found himself without money and without a trip. That is - lost?

I worked in the liquor distribution market for many years, and we had many similar cases. For example, it took us a very long time to reach an agreement with some large company, enter into an agreement and, naturally, we were happy. So they said: hurray, we won, we won, we will cooperate! But this company soon went bankrupt, and we were left without full payment for the previously delivered goods. So what to do next? This is why knowing what your next step will be as a result of negotiations is extremely important.

Negotiation is not a final round that determines the winner and loser, it is... process. And sometimes it takes a very long time. Therefore, from the very beginning, you need to get rid of the idea that negotiations are just another round in a duel. The attitude towards negotiations is only from the point of view of the process.

According to the candidate of philosophical sciences R.I. Mokshantsev, negotiations are a complex process. It includes:

– searching for agreement between people with different interests;

– discussion of differences in the positions of the parties to make an acceptable decision;

– discussion between two or more parties to overcome incompatible goals;

– an exchange of concessions, during which a concession by one party acts as a direct and calculated response to a previous concession by the other party;

– long-term communication between parties with differing and intersecting interests, during which they either reach agreement or do not reach it, depending on the consequences they expect.

Negotiations necessarily presuppose a dialogue between equal partners who are relatively independent from each other, although their actual statuses may be different.

Negotiations are a dialogue between people that can lead to an agreement

If we talk about negotiations as a science, then the “science of negotiations” is based on mathematics and psychology. And the weight of each science in the negotiation process depends on the area in which negotiations are being conducted. Thus, in diplomatic negotiations the influence of the queen of sciences, mathematics, is extremely high, although the psychological aspect cannot be discounted. In business negotiations, the distribution between mathematics and psychology is fifty-fifty, 50 to 50. In everyday negotiations, one must rely mainly on psychology.

Some models of negotiations, built only on theoretical calculations, call for approaching negotiations from a position of logic, discarding the psychological aspect. This is, for example, the call to make “middle” decisions to achieve a compromise.

In this model, a problem that is simple in theory becomes a dead end in practice. Let’s say a seller who wants to sell a product names a price of 10,000 rubles and expects to sell in the range from 8,000 to 9,000, and the buyer announces a price of 8,000, although he is ready to pay somewhere in the region of 8,500–9,500. From a theoretical point of view everything is simple here: add, divide and get the value 9,000. Agree, it looks quite beautiful, but only in theory. Everything in life is much more complicated.

Ivan (I.) and Fedor (F.) are negotiating the sale/purchase of a car. I. sells his car for 1 million and F. has only 800 thousand. And so F. calls I. and says: “Van, I’m ready to pay you 800 grand.” And I., having compared his interests and the logic of compromise, immediately agrees.

There are fair and successful negotiations. Even, one might say, ideal: everyone gets what they wanted in the first place. Both should be extremely pleased. Each side should feel like they have won. But this is only at first glance.

Now try to imagine yourself in the place of buyer F. Well, yes, you got what you wanted for your money, you didn’t have to (if I. had been stubborn) rack your brains over where to find more money... But! Have you thought that I. behaved somewhat strangely, immediately dropping the price by 20%? Surely the question begins to torment you: “Why did he agree to my price so quickly? This means that something is wrong in the car...” And now, the car that made you happy some time ago is causing you serious harm: you worry, doubt.

Now imagine yourself in the place of seller I. Here you, in turn, torment yourself with doubts: “Why did I agree to his amount so quickly? Well, yes, I didn’t expect a million, but I could have taken a hundred or at least fifty from him...”

What do we have as a result? It would seem that ideal negotiations are far from perfect; both parties to this transaction did not receive satisfaction.

Research shows: the probability of concluding such honest transactions is 0.16, that is, 16%. It is precisely because the probability of concluding a deal during such negotiations is twice as high as that of the model of gradual convergence of interests (which is 8%), this model is so loved by many negotiators. However, for the most part, the results of such fair negotiations are revised. The psychological aspect comes into play. But in the model of gradual rapprochement of positions, it is psychology, both from the very beginning and during negotiations, that is a reliable ally and assistant.

A person is not a computer, a person has emotions. It is necessary to treat a person not as an object, but as a subject.

Very often we reject even interesting proposals that come from our opponent, and then we cannot explain it to ourselves. Of course, in the future we find an explanation, but how can we understand the reason for such behavior - of our own, of our opponent?! After all, from the point of view of common sense, he should have done so... According to the laws of logic - yes! But there are also emotions. Therefore, in the negotiation process, experts highlight 3 very important vectors. It is these three vectors that we will study throughout our book.

The ability to defend your interests.

The ability to manage your emotions.

The ability to manage other people's emotions.

Three competencies of a successful negotiator

So, negotiations are first and foremost a process. The types and motives of negotiations must be distinguished precisely from the point of view of the process. There is an opinion among sales specialists that if the buyer invited them to negotiations, he interested in cooperation and, accordingly, will negotiate cooperation. This is one of the biggest misconceptions.

For several months, the company’s sales manager for construction materials, Andrei, has been negotiating with the purchasing manager of a construction company. Andrey knows for sure (and the buyer does not hide this) that the construction company purchases materials from a competitor of Andrey’s company, the StroySam company. During negotiations with Andrey, the purchasing manager of the construction company repeatedly emphasized that they were satisfied with the work with the StroySam company. They are satisfied with the quality, prices, and speed of response to requests. The buyer does not refuse negotiations with Andrey, but the matter still does not reach specifics. Andrey constantly offers discounts, promotions, and better conditions - in the hope of starting cooperation. After 4 months of futile efforts, Andrey accidentally finds out that the buyer used his proposals in order to get better conditions from his existing supplier.

One of the motives of the parties in the negotiation process is to maintain dialogue without concrete decisions

The example clearly shows that the motive of the negotiations on the part of the buyer was not cooperation at all, and Andrey was unable to recognize the true driving force and fell into a trap.

This happens quite often. Having decided to buy a car, a potential buyer arranges a pseudo-tender. He contacts all car dealerships and, in the end, gets the best price by saying just one phrase: “Your competitor offered me a lower price.” That is, actually pitting competitors against each other. And car dealership managers, thinking that they are negotiating with them for the purpose of buying, get caught in the net.

American doctor of sociology, political scientist, author of the books “Every War Must End” and “How Nations Negotiate” Fred Charles Ikle identifies the following types and motives of negotiations.

– Negotiations to extend previously reached agreements. Such negotiations are often conducted in the field of trade to extend the term of the agreement and to introduce some clarifications and changes to the new agreement, taking into account the developing market situation. Also, such negotiations are not uncommon when extending employment agreements.

– Negotiations to normalize relations. They involve a transition from conflict situations to other types of relations between the parties (neutral or cooperation).

– Negotiations to achieve redistribution agreements. The meaning of such negotiations is that one of the parties, taking an offensive position, demands changes in agreements in its favor at the expense of the other parties. Such negotiations take place when there is a bargain about price or other material resources. Increase or decrease in rent.

– Negotiations to reach a new agreement. They are aimed at establishing new relationships and obligations between the parties involved. This could be, for example, negotiations with a new partner.

– Negotiations to gather information. Indirect results may not be reflected in agreements and there may not even be agreements themselves. This could include, for example, conversations to establish contacts, identify partners’ points of view, and influence public opinion.

Ikle wrote his books back in the last century. Taking into account modern realities, let's continue this list:

– Negotiations in order to confuse the opponent. This is an imitation of the negotiation process. Very often, opponents enter the negotiation process and deliberately delay it, realizing that time is their ally. Here, for every suggestion you make, you will hear “maybe”, “we need to consult.”

- Provocation. Negotiations with the aim of demonstrating the other party's inability to negotiate.

It is very important at an early stage of negotiations to recognize the main motive of the opponent and, starting from this, decide on further actions. This is truly serious work.

I had the opportunity to negotiate as a mediator in resolving a dispute between two companies and a bank. It was about joint repayment of debt for a bankrupt enterprise. Every meeting ended in nothing. Meanwhile, our opponent constantly initiated negotiations, declaring his readiness to “positively” resolve the issue. But during the negotiations he constantly put forward absurd demands. Each time at the end of the negotiations, we could not understand what was preventing us from reaching an agreement. And at some point it dawned on us: they simply don’t want to share the costs. Their goal is not division at all. The main task of our opponent is to show our non-negotiability. Having unraveled the true motive, we were able to radically change the course of the negotiation process.

The main task of the negotiator is to recognize what kind of negotiations the opponent is conducting. And already having an adequate picture of what is happening, choose one or another negotiation strategy.

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One of the outstanding diplomats and political figures of the last century, Andrei Andreevich Gromyko perfectly mastered the skills of the “Kremlin school of negotiations.” A man of the era, who outlived almost all the general secretaries of the Soviet Union, he began his diplomatic career in a very difficult period of history - during the leadership of Stalin. His first known post was as Soviet Ambassador to the United States. In the West, Gromyko was called “Mr. No.” However, the diplomat himself said that he heard “no” much more often than he said it. The ability to negotiate, even in a tough style, was an integral skill of diplomats of that time. What was the “Kremlin School of Negotiations” based on? It is based on five postulates. Let's look at each of them.

1. You must be silent and listen carefully to your opponent

Be silent and listen. What happens when your opponent is silent and listens carefully? We are speaking. When they listen to us, and attentively, making notes as we speak, we open up. Using the technique of “being silent and listening” is working with human vices. People are chatty. They give out a lot of unnecessary information, saying things they were not asked about.

Very often it’s enough just to listen carefully, and the opponent himself will present everything on a “platter with a golden rim.” By giving out a lot of information that we were not even asked about, we make the task easier for the interlocutor and complicate it for ourselves.

2. Ask questions

The negotiator listens and asks questions. Thus, he directs the conversation in a direction that is interesting and beneficial to him. Often the negotiator, who is being listened to and asked questions, falls for this bait and begins to talk more and more, making proposals. This is a very significant moment.

It is at this time that roles are distributed. Already at this stage, the first role distribution occurs: host - guest. The owner is the one who asks questions. The guest is the one who answers them. The owner asks, the guest offers. This is where the famous role-playing couple arises: you offer me, and I have the right to choose. I am the owner. When you are at home and a guest comes to you, you can calmly question him. The owner in negotiations is not the one to whom they came or came, but the one who asks questions. He is the one who controls the regulations. The opponent says everything, and it seems to him that by doing this he controls the conversation. However, the one who controls the conversation is the one who asks questions and listens.

3. Set a scale of values

Then the following happens. The one who acts as the owner begins to establish his own value system. This is the next step in the negotiations. As soon as he introduces his scale of values, the situation immediately changes dramatically. The person acting as the host can, at any moment, based on his scale, either elevate or humiliate the guest interlocutor.

Those involved in sales have probably encountered the following situation more than once. A buyer trained in negotiation techniques looks at your proposal, tosses it aside and says, “You think you're the only one? Do you consider yourself unique? The importance of a person immediately decreases. Or another example. The boss says to his subordinate: “Do you think you’re a star?” Almost always, such a turn in the conversation leads to one thing - a person instantly slides down on his scale of values.

4. Make an offer you can't refuse

When the “host” introduces his scale of values, the “guest” instantly falls into a dependent role. It is unpleasant for him to be in such a situation. Therefore, he tries with all his might to get out of it.

When going into negotiations, you always need to prepare two technologies: one technology by which you will win, the other by which your opponent will lose. If the second option comes, then it is important to make sure that the loser willingly accepts his defeat. Then he will be satisfied with the outcome of the negotiations. A person is given an offer that he cannot refuse.

For example, this can be framed like this: “Okay, since you came, so be it: if you give me a discount, I will consider your offer.” In most cases, a person happily accepts this scenario. After all, first they listened to him carefully, then they asked him questions. During this time he gave out a lot of unnecessary information. Then he was quietly introduced into the scale of values, where his importance fell sharply. He really wants to get out of this situation. At this moment they show him the way out!

Of course, he will gladly use it - the situation in which he found himself is too unpleasant and for which he was not prepared. Moreover, the conditions of this “sudden exit” to some extent correspond to what he wanted to achieve.

In about 80-90% of cases this method actually works. However, there is another lever that can increase your chances of winning in negotiations.

5. Leave a person in the unknown

One of my acquaintances, a buyer of a large federal network, says: “No one has ever squeezed out better conditions from a supplier than he does himself.” What does it mean to “leave a person in the unknown”? If he does not accept the offer, you need to tell him: “I don’t know how my management will react to your refusal.” Or: “I don’t know if you will still have the opportunity to “enter” our retail network.”

What is going on in the seller’s head at this moment? His brain has already “drawn” all the delights of this situation with its results for business. At such a moment, he is most ready for all kinds of concessions on his part. Why is this happening? He is driven by his strongest weapon—fear.

How much does the technique described above improve relationships with people? In fact, when your opponent leaves these negotiations, he is very happy with the result. He believes the negotiations were a win-win scenario. He really believes at that moment that both sides won and he achieved his goals. After all, he received a contract, agreement or patronage. He still got some winnings.

However, it should be fair to warn that this technique rarely leads to the establishment of strong long-term relationships, which is extremely important in today's world. It is more effective for one-time negotiations when it is necessary to resolve issues here and now. If you are focused on long-term contacts, then in addition to this method you should master other additional negotiation techniques.

Igor Ryzov

What prevents you from achieving your plans 100%? Obviously, it depends on the situation. Every time a person wants to accomplish something, he (if he is a practical person) will first think: what will he have to overcome? And he often comes to the conclusion that the list of obstacles is almost endless.

What prevents negotiators, sometimes even very experienced ones, from achieving their goals? Inflexibility of views, unwillingness to compromise, personal ambitions... Yes, and this list goes on and on.

I get asked questions like this very often during trainings. I answer, each time taking into account the specific situation. However, over the years I have seen that there is value in generalizing the answers. As a result, this book was born, which does more than just give answers. I sought to write a textbook on one of the most difficult disciplines of business training: the negotiator's handbook. These pages contain exercises that will help you not only learn about various techniques for conducting successful negotiations, but also immediately practice. The book will become your personal negotiating tool, your arsenal of “fighting techniques.”

When I say “you,” I first of all mean those who have discovered negotiations both as a science and as a real art. The book will be useful for those who want to prepare for negotiations in advance, calculate all possible steps and options for the development of events. And it is not just words. Studying at seminars and trainings, including at the Camp Negotiation Institute (USA), I have always strived to bring all that is most valuable to life. All thoughts expressed on these pages were passed through the prism of my personal perception, experience, and consciousness. All examples given are from personal experience. All recommendations and advice have long been worked out in practice, and their benefits have been carefully analyzed. By whom and when?

May the reader forgive the apparent immodesty, but the answer will be – me. A person who has more than 17 years of experience in sales and purchasing. A person who had to conduct complex - and often, at first glance, unpromising - business negotiations for almost half of his 16-hour working time.

However, perhaps the reader has already come across my first book, “Tough Negotiations”? Or he heard about it from friends and acquaintances. I hasten to “disappoint” those who have not read it: the title of my first book does not at all mean that negotiation techniques are associated with rudeness or excessive pressure. Just the opposite!

I agree, these days we often encounter “cattle”, “boors”, “tanks”, “kings” and similar characters, with whom, however, we have to deal. The negotiating style of such “persons” sometimes, if not discouraging and confusing, at least causes difficulties in obtaining the desired result.

In this book, I will introduce you to special techniques of tough negotiations, used, among other things, by intelligence services. The book will allow you to learn the basic strategies of intercepting, holding and managing in difficult negotiation situations. And also - to develop and put into practice skills that allow you to control the progress of tough negotiations. Be sure to work it out - that’s why I give so many exercises. After all, negotiations are, first of all, practice! Good luck!

Introduction

Each of us remembers very well what he was interested in when he was very little, when he was growing up, when he received a student card... Having become a student, like many of my friends and peers, I began to practice karate: it’s interesting, prestigious, and - I’m a man , Damn it! The reader, most likely, has a good idea of ​​how training takes place in such sections: in spacious gyms, the trainer teaches the children special techniques, skills, and techniques. And of course, a strict coaching order: no conflicts on the street! Naturally, we sparred, but contact in the gym was always limited - dangerous, prohibited. Then we could easily consider ourselves (and, in principle, did so) as successful fighters - we took part in rallies, away training, went to sports camps, studied techniques, practiced them, demonstrated our skills at competitions of various levels... And of course, won, won belts. So we justifiably thought that we were serious fighters, full of confidence in ourselves and our abilities. But one trivial incident put everything into place.

Late in the evening, the guys and I were returning from training. Three guys of clearly hooligan appearance approached us and asked for a smoke. In such situations, the request to “smoke” does not seem entirely harmless; it is quite logical to expect consequences in the style of a “classic of the genre”. But you won’t scare us karatekas! What decision did we make? It's clear which one. Full of confidence in our professionalism, we decided to immediately take the fight. Of course: we are athletes, we are proficient in real martial art, we definitely should have won. They should have, but...

It was then that a certain “but” appeared, and it was this that turned out to be decisive. The reader has already realized that our forecast was inadequate. Yes, we were defeated, as they say, to smithereens. And to be honest, it hit us hard – both physically and mentally. These street hooligans turned out to be much faster and stronger than us. In fact, they did not have combat techniques studied by specialists, taught by trainers, not like we do. But our technology was not even useful to us!

So it turns out that a street fighter turns out to be stronger than any athlete who trains in the gym. Why? Because the athlete has certain skills, there is training, but there is not enough personal contact. And the most serious and powerful fighter is the one who is fluent in technique and knows street tricks.

This is a good place to note: street tricks should not be underestimated. From the point of view of science, they shouldn’t work, but in life, quite often they work, and how! We were young then, we were just beginning to gain experience. So they underestimated the power of the “street”.

What are these memories of mine for? – the reader asks. Doesn’t the author want to make it clear that instead of fighting, these unfortunate karatekas should have conducted skillful negotiations? Is this what the book is about?

Yes, the book is about negotiations. But the main thing in it is the technique of conducting them. By engaging in negotiations, you are, in essence, entering into battle. And here it’s worth knowing exactly how to act correctly - according to theory. But we must also be able to resist “street fighters” who do not know scientific theory.

The book you are holding in your hands combines the many scientific approaches that exist in the modern world of negotiations. And at the same time, it includes the rich life experience that has accumulated in the process of independent negotiations - both in business and in life, both with government agencies and with the business community.

How to stop losing and start getting your benefits in negotiations

10 years of negotiations are better than one day of war.

A. A. Gromyko

What is negotiation - a science or an art? Many will answer this question: of course, science! After all, there are certain laws, there are well-honed systems, methods, by mastering which you can become a good negotiator. Of course it is. However, others will say: of course, this is art! After all, there are people who do not need any scientific laws - they are gifted in life. They not only know, they feel how to negotiate, they can negotiate anytime, with anyone, about anything, and always successfully. Their word, gesture is like a stroke of Picasso’s brush... Yes, and that’s true. But the heavenly gift is not given to everyone, although many strive (and tirelessly study) to rise to the level of Picasso. That is why I am of the opinion that negotiations are both an art, which is inseparable from a person, and a science, where there are clear laws, concepts and goals.

§ 1. Recognize the opponent’s goals and motives in negotiations

Negotiations are, in essence, a certain kind of sport. It is sport that unites both science and art. And in order to become a professional in sports, you need to constantly practice and train. Not a single book, not a single training will make you a great negotiator, only work on yourself. Therefore, dear reader, consider this book as a description of the training process. Everything else is in your hands. The more you train, the more noticeably your skill will grow, the closer you will be to your goal. And it doesn’t matter in what mode you train: during training, during club meetings, with sparring partners, in work situations... There is one rule: the more you train, the better the result!

Please think about the question: is it possible to win or lose negotiations?

Many schools of negotiation argue that, of course, you can and should win. This discipline even has a well-defined “win-win” approach, which you will learn about further. Others argue that “you can’t lose,” you always have to win.

Igor Ryzov

What prevents you from achieving your plans 100%? Obviously, it depends on the situation. Every time a person wants to accomplish something, he (if he is a practical person) will first think: what will he have to overcome? And he often comes to the conclusion that the list of obstacles is almost endless.

What prevents negotiators, sometimes even very experienced ones, from achieving their goals? Inflexibility of views, unwillingness to compromise, personal ambitions... Yes, and this list goes on and on.

I get asked questions like this very often during trainings. I answer, each time taking into account the specific situation. However, over the years I have seen that there is value in generalizing the answers. As a result, this book was born, which does more than just give answers. I sought to write a textbook on one of the most difficult disciplines of business training: the negotiator's handbook. These pages contain exercises that will help you not only learn about various techniques for conducting successful negotiations, but also immediately practice. The book will become your personal negotiating tool, your arsenal of “fighting techniques.”

When I say “you,” I first of all mean those who have discovered negotiations both as a science and as a real art. The book will be useful for those who want to prepare for negotiations in advance, calculate all possible steps and options for the development of events. And it is not just words. Studying at seminars and trainings, including at the Camp Negotiation Institute (USA), I have always strived to bring all that is most valuable to life. All thoughts expressed on these pages were passed through the prism of my personal perception, experience, and consciousness. All examples given are from personal experience. All recommendations and advice have long been worked out in practice, and their benefits have been carefully analyzed. By whom and when?

May the reader forgive the apparent immodesty, but the answer will be – me. A person who has more than 17 years of experience in sales and purchasing. A person who had to conduct complex - and often, at first glance, unpromising - business negotiations for almost half of his 16-hour working time.

However, perhaps the reader has already come across my first book, “Tough Negotiations”? Or he heard about it from friends and acquaintances. I hasten to “disappoint” those who have not read it: the title of my first book does not at all mean that negotiation techniques are associated with rudeness or excessive pressure. Just the opposite!

I agree, these days we often encounter “cattle”, “boors”, “tanks”, “kings” and similar characters, with whom, however, we have to deal. The negotiating style of such “persons” sometimes, if not discouraging and confusing, at least causes difficulties in obtaining the desired result.

In this book, I will introduce you to special techniques of tough negotiations, used, among other things, by intelligence services. The book will allow you to learn the basic strategies of intercepting, holding and managing in difficult negotiation situations. And also - to develop and put into practice skills that allow you to control the progress of tough negotiations. Be sure to work it out - that’s why I give so many exercises. After all, negotiations are, first of all, practice! Good luck!

Introduction

Each of us remembers very well what he was interested in when he was very little, when he was growing up, when he received a student card... Having become a student, like many of my friends and peers, I began to practice karate: it’s interesting, prestigious, and - I’m a man , Damn it! The reader, most likely, has a good idea of ​​how training takes place in such sections: in spacious gyms, the trainer teaches the children special techniques, skills, and techniques. And of course, a strict coaching order: no conflicts on the street! Naturally, we sparred, but contact in the gym was always limited - dangerous, prohibited. Then we could easily consider ourselves (and, in principle, did so) as successful fighters - we took part in rallies, away training, went to sports camps, studied techniques, practiced them, demonstrated our skills at competitions of various levels... And of course, won, won belts. So we justifiably thought that we were serious fighters, full of confidence in ourselves and our abilities. But one trivial incident put everything into place.

Late in the evening, the guys and I were returning from training. Three guys of clearly hooligan appearance approached us and asked for a smoke. In such situations, the request to “smoke” does not seem entirely harmless; it is quite logical to expect consequences in the style of a “classic of the genre”. But you won’t scare us karatekas! What decision did we make? It's clear which one. Full of confidence in our professionalism, we decided to immediately take the fight. Of course: we are athletes, we are proficient in real martial art, we definitely should have won. They should have, but...