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Selfishness is a quality of character and a person's desire for obvious or veiled superiority over others and personal power, solely for the realization of their selfish desires or personal gain. Unwillingness to give a piece of yourself or yours. This is the lack of love for the other.

Manifestations and properties of Egoism

Egoism, as a quality of personality, is manifested in the feelings, consciousness, subconsciousness, actions and deeds of a person. Most clearly Egoism manifests itself through, Rivalry, thirst for Power,.

Selfishness is a complete lack of Love for another person. The exception is your own children. Selfishness is a sense of self as a person. This feeling works in two directions: or live for someone or only for yourself.

Very often, egoism turns into deep disappointment with life, and loneliness.

Unlike the inner world of human consciousness, in the material world, a person has to adapt to the conditions when most people live for themselves and material wealth.
The instrument of adaptation is the false ego, which permeates the consciousness and feelings of a person. The False Ego captures all the properties of a person's character, subordinating thoughts, actions, sensual pleasures only for its own sake. There are two extremes and two different poles of Egoism, which are called Egoism and Altruism.

True Ego - Altruism

An altruist is a person who unselfishly helps others, based on the action of the so-called true Ego.

To be consistent, the Altruist manifests healthy forms of Egoism, living for the sake of others. It has its drawbacks, which include a stop in one's own path of development and improvement as a person. Altruism can not be attributed to the ideal and say that it is very good. A person on his life path is always at a certain point on the Egoism-Altruism scale, and this is more correct.

In the case of Altruism, the consciousness and soul of a person, even theoretically, cannot imagine how one can find Happiness, living only for the sake of satisfying one's desires.

A person with such attitudes as Altruism always imagines that true Happiness is achieved when he brought joy to other people, did something pleasant and useful for them. What joy if only you are glad?
The basic, daily, principle of the life of such a person begins with the question to himself - "What did you do useful for other people today?"

Volunteer - as a very vivid example of Altruism and the behavior of such people. A real Volunteer is a person who voluntarily engages in gratuitous socially useful activities.

False Ego - Selfishness

An egoist, as it is customary to call it in society, is a person who lives for his own internal and selfish material interests. This is the so-called False Ego. This is the way to achieve material false happiness.

The False Ego declares: "This is my hand, my mind, my feelings, my mind, my husband, my car, my house, my country, and finally my Earth." False Ego covers all aspects of a person's material life. This is exactly the style of life and way of behavior in society which is called material egoism.

However, if a person lives only under the influence of a false Ego, he is not able to achieve true Happiness, since it should be sought in the sphere of interaction of two Egos.

People who seek happiness in selfless love, helping people can be found everywhere, you just need to carefully look at the world around you, going beyond the selfish little world of your friends.

Short concept - Goodness

The struggle between True and False Ego is called Passion, and where the true Ego takes weight over the False Ego, Goodness arises.

Other Descriptions and Manifestations of Selfishness

Egoism is the desire to live at the expense of others and to receive something in this life undeservedly, that is, to receive for free or by using methods for this - deceit, manipulation, violence, and others ..
Stronger forms of selfishness are hypertrophied or terry selfishness - dependency and parasitism.

Selfishness is a justified need and desire to use others and the whole world, its resources, to realize one's selfish desires and in any selfish interests. Selfishness is a justified willingness and habit to spit on others and their opinions.

The egoist has all thoughts, only about himself, or about his unfulfilled desires. And this always makes the egoist deeply unhappy.
Selfishness - when a person is ready to do only what he personally likes, when this is the most important thing for him.

And if others do not like it, he is not interested, or is interested in the tenth place.

The Influence of Selfishness on Happiness

Finally, through the understanding of Egoism and its forms, I gradually brought you to the concept of Happiness.
Happiness is a selfless path to some high goal for the sake of other people.

For example, true love can only be selfless. A mother loves her newborn child disinterestedly without any thoughts and without expecting gratitude from the child.

When one of the spouses realizes that he is being used, he is very offended by the greed of his half. A person in love with himself cannot be capable of true love. Selfishness is a terrible vice that completely poisons love and family relationships.

Human nature is so arranged that he has a constant need to receive happiness by giving his love to other people. If a person lives in ignorance, indulges his desires and passions, he thereby destroys himself as a person.

A manifestation of selfishness is the denial of everything truthful in your address. A person is so overwhelmed with Egoism that it hurts him to listen to the words of another. He rushes into an argument, interrupts, proves, is indignant and justifies himself.

Selfishness causes natural antagonism and resistance. If a person goes into the outside world with the only desire to snatch without giving anything in return with the slogan - "This is all for me!", The world, understandably, resists.

At first, in family relationships, the parties tolerate manifestations of Egoism, then they begin to argue, quarrel and conflict in various forms. In other words, any form of self-interest causes antagonism, resistance and clash of false egos.

The destructive activity of Egoism deprives a person of the opportunity to achieve happiness.

Selfishness and self-love should not be confused

Selfishness is false self-love. This is love not for one's divine Soul, but for one's Pride and Vanity, love for one's conceit and false greatness.

Selfishness is the satisfaction of one's base desires and vices, the justification of one's sins and mistakes, the indulgence of that Evil that lives in the person himself and destroys him. This is an excuse and nourishment for one's laziness, stupidity, lack of education, one's grievances, emotions of anger and hatred, envy and jealousy, one's bad habits and vices, etc.

True love for yourself

Of course, you need to love yourself, only this love should not belittle the dignity and interests of other people, and should not devalue both other people and the whole world around you.

True love and kindness to yourself always gives you the same kindness to other people, enhancing their value in your life. Such love gives birth in the Soul to a bright desire to do Good for other people disinterestedly, without a frantic thirst to get personal benefits from any relationship. When true Love for oneself and for other people is revealed in the soul, egoism quickly melts, loses strength, decreases.

The absence of Egoism in a person does not at all imply that a person should not think about himself and his life, or that he should always do everything to the detriment of himself and to please others. Altruism does not mean material poverty.

If a person has earned a beautiful and rich life by honest work, he should accept it with dignity and be proud of himself. Wealth, luxury, a decent personal life does not make a person an Egoist.

A person becomes an egoist if, with all this luxury, he begins to spit on other people, completely ignoring their interests and feelings, and does nothing useful and good for society and this world. If the principle of this person is all good only for oneself, this is an Egoist.

Consequences of Selfishness

That is why Egoists at heart are the most unhappy people. Egoism, if you give it power over yourself, always leads you to endless suffering and mental anguish of loneliness, even if you suffer in your own palace, sitting on a golden toilet bowl.
Question at the end of the article.

Who is an egoist? This is a person whose views, interests and behavior completely revolve around his own "I" and are directed solely to his own good. Egoism is most easily revealed in a situation that puts a person before a choice - to satisfy their own interests or to sacrifice them for the sake of another person. What else is selfishness?

Types of selfishness

Each of us was told in childhood that being selfish is bad. And in the end, we learned how to cunningly turn the situation in our favor, telling a person: “You are an egoist! You don't consider my interests at all!" But after all, in this way we ourselves show selfishness, without even noticing it.

In fact, selfishness is neither good nor bad. This is absolutely natural for a person who has a healthy psyche and normal self-esteem. To condemn another for selfishness is stupid - one can only condemn the degree of manifestation of this quality.

Therefore, three main types of selfishness can be distinguished:

Overegoism. Something from the series "all women are like women, but I'm a goddess."

Self-deprecation. Such a person constantly says: “Oh my God, just look at what a nonentity I am!”

Healthy selfishness is the golden mean between the two extremes. A person understands both his own and other people's needs and strives for their mutual satisfaction.

The main signs of unhealthy selfishness

Try looking at your friends. Surely among them there is at least one notorious egoist. How will it differ from others?

• He does not take on a case that will not bring him benefit.
• Whatever you talk to him about, one way or another you will have to discuss his outstanding personality.
• He believes that there are only two opinions - his and the wrong one.
• Knows how to find a way out of difficult situations with the help of others.
• He is indifferent to everyone except himself.
• He hopes that others will give in, but he himself will not compromise.
• In someone else's eye he will notice a mote, in his own he will not see a log.
• In any of his actions, he tries to find a benefit or frankly demands it.

Consequences of selfishness

Some individuals believe that egoists live very well in modern society. And what, they are doing the right thing: they go ahead, think only about themselves, and in fact they achieve success! But in reality, the laws of human relations have a negative effect on those people who will not lift a finger without personal gain.

Sooner or later, others will turn away from the egoist, as his behavior is socially unacceptable. He will not be able to start a normal serious relationship with anyone - the matter will always be limited to only superficial contacts. Loneliness is the most terrible retribution for selfishness.

What is healthy selfishness?

You have absolutely healthy egoism if:

• you know how to defend your point of view, refusing what, in your opinion, can harm you;
• willing to compromise;
• you can defend yourself by any means if a threat of danger hangs over you or your loved ones;
• obey no one, but do not control others either;
• make a choice in your own favor, without being tormented by guilt;
• pay attention primarily to your own interests, but at the same time you understand that there is another way of looking at things;
• do not be afraid to express your own opinion, even if it contradicts the opinion of the majority;
• can criticize others without stooping to insults;
• respect your partner's wishes, but also consider your own principles.

Thus, by reflecting on the topic of how egoism manifests itself, you can learn a lot about yourself and your friends. The main thing is not to cross the line of healthy egoism, and then both those around you and yourself will be satisfied.

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Everyone knows what pride is. Manifestations of selfishness cannot be confused with anything else. Such a person often withdraws into himself and does not want to accept sincere care. In some cases, relationships begin to suffer from vanity and possessiveness. Egoism in relationships is quite common. People are afraid of being rejected, of being in a situation where they feel unwanted. Signs of pride can be recognized by several characteristics. They, as a rule, are conspicuous and remain in the public eye, because a selfish person does not know how to hide his feelings. What is egoism in its true sense? Is it good or bad to think only about yourself? What does it mean to be selfish?

Egoism and egocentrism

Many people confuse selfishness with selfishness. Meanwhile, these two concepts are completely different from each other. Selfishness is a conscious desire to satisfy only one's own needs. Such a person becomes possessive and wishes to subordinate the surrounding events to his daily whims. The egoist really thinks only of himself. He cares little about the fate of the people around him. Such a person is internally convinced that others should satisfy his needs in every possible way. Of course, this is not always possible. He is not able to take care of the interests of even blood relatives. People in most cases do not like those who are not ready to give, but only intend to take.

Egocentrism can be attributed to normal human needs. Each person has his own inner world. Everyone needs to have their own space, but creative people need it especially. They need to have some space for the birth of a new thought, create an opportunity for effective work, creation. An egocentric person does not forget about others. He just devotes a large amount of time to self-realization, the realization of what he wants. An egocentric person is more focused on making their desired dreams and goals come true. For some reason, he is ready to devote a lot of time daily to his own pursuits.

Heightened pride

A true egoist never wants to share with anyone. His pride is developed to such an extent that it interferes with learning to take care of loved ones. Vanity and pride are its essential characteristics. Excessive attention to oneself, one's needs and achievements makes such a person arrogant, swaggering, callous, unable to respond with his heart to someone else's misfortune. Arrogant behavior is inherent in a selfish person. He is also characterized by arrogance, since he needs to maintain an exclusive opinion of himself. Men - egoists never take care of their household, do not show true participation in them. A person gets used to living exclusively for himself, trying to satisfy his everyday needs. He does not strive for something more, does not want to develop positive character traits, does not attach importance to them. For people of this kind, there are only their own needs.

Lack of self-esteem

In fact, behind selfishness and pride lies a colossal sense of self-doubt. A person often does not notice behind him how he starts having problems interacting with other people. The people around him seem bad and unworthy of attention. In psychology, the definition of selfishness necessarily affects the concepts of dignity and the degree of self-confidence. When a person lacks firmness, he becomes overly stubborn. Both men and women suffer from such arrogance equally. A clear sign of a selfish mind is the need to dominate. The psychology of egoism implies that a person lives only in his inner world.

Excessive isolation, concentration of the individual on his own momentary whims are manifestations of egoism as such. Fixation on their personal experiences often prevents people from feeling truly happy. Such a person does not know how to enjoy the moment, as he is constantly in the race for some next goal. They always want to achieve something more and do not know how to rejoice in what they already have at the present time. In fact, it is a sad sight, as happiness eludes such a person. He is simply not ready to accept it, because he does not know how to think constructively and understand the changes that are happening to them. The features of selfishness in a person include arrogance, arrogance, excessive rationality. In fact, he is simply very unsure of himself and his abilities.

Blaming others

Selfishness in a relationship always involves consciously or unconsciously blaming others for their problems. The reason for this behavior is a persistent unwillingness to take responsibility for what is happening. The egoist wants only to enjoy all the blessings of mankind, but not to work for the fulfillment of what he wants. Such a person simply does not want to admit to himself that he is wrong. Often a person is a provocateur of some unpleasant situation, but will never admit it even to himself. Such an action requires colossal willpower. It is easier for an egoist to expose others to accusations of injustice than to try to solve the difficulties that arise. In most cases, such a person is incredibly far from taking responsibility. He lives in his own world, he does not care about the values ​​and desires of others. the selfish consciousness does not accept compassion. That is why they can easily slander an honest person without thinking about the fact that they are harming someone.

High expectations

Extremely high demands are a characteristic feature of the development of egoistic consciousness. However, they are presented not to themselves, but to others. This happens for the reason that a person considers himself too good, too worthy in order to change his own behavior. Therefore, he decides that it is better to change the surrounding people and events. This applies equally to both men and women. High expectations do not allow you to just live and enjoy every day. It is always not enough for an egoist that he has at a given time. His psychology is such that a person constantly feels inner dissatisfaction. He often does not notice positive changes in his life and prefers to ignore, but focuses on negative aspects.

Female selfishness

Women's selfishness manifests itself in several ways. First, the desire for shopping is increasing. There is a desire to satisfy any desire. A woman spends huge amounts of money on various trinkets, not at all caring about how the rest of the family can exist. Female egoism is manifested in the fact that such a girl is only concerned about her own desires. If for some reason she cannot immediately satisfy her needs, then she will begin to break down on others. Women's selfishness very often has no boundaries.

Male selfishness

Childish selfishness

Children's selfishness is one of the most understandable. It is customary to pamper children whenever possible, to fulfill their innermost desires. However, it is necessary to control this process until it turns into childish egoism. Otherwise, the parents will not be able to raise the child properly. Childish selfishness manifests itself in unlimited desires. The child begins to demand to buy him a lot of different things, while not always fully understanding why he needs it. If a child does not know refusal, then it becomes extremely difficult for him to control his own desires. Unlike an adult, a small person does not limit anything in his fantasies. Over time, such a child can turn into one continuous problem for their parents. A child can make the life of a father and mother simply unbearable. That is why it is necessary to pamper children in moderation. Otherwise, you can grow a person who in the future will only take care of himself.

Thus, it is not difficult to define the concept of egoism. Everyone is a selfish person in their own way. In any case, it will be a person fixated on their own problems, not used to helping others. Such a person has little chance of making real friends. After all, any attachment requires colossal dedication, and the egoist is accustomed to taking care only of himself.

selfishness

(from lat. ego - I) - the value orientation of the subject, characterized by the predominance of self-serving personal interests and needs in his life, regardless of the interests of other people and social groups. Manifestations of E. inherent in the subject to another person as an object and a means of achieving selfish goals. The development of E. and its transformation into a dominant one is explained by serious defects in education. If the tactics of family education is objectively aimed at consolidating such manifestations as the overestimated and the personality of the child, then a stable value orientation can be formed in him, in which only his own interests, needs, experiences, etc. are taken into account. In adulthood, such a concentration on one's own, self-love and complete indifference to the inner world of another person or a social group can lead to alienation as an experience by the subject of loneliness in a world hostile to him. In many psychological and ethical-psychological concepts, E. is unreasonably regarded as an innate property of a person, due to which the protection of his life is supposedly ensured. In everyday usage, e. acts as the opposite of altruism. Breeding on the opposite poles of E. and altruism reflects the original unlawful opposition of I and THEY, as supposedly the only possible one. The historically progressive trend is associated with the removal of the antagonism of I and THEM by the uniting principle We: what a person does for others is equally useful to him and others, since it is useful for the community to which he belongs. Thus, if we keep in mind the socio-psychological patterns of personality behavior, then the alternative “either E., or altruism” turns out to be false. The true alternative to E. and altruism is collectivist.

Brief psychological dictionary. - Rostov-on-Don: PHOENIX. L.A. Karpenko, A.V. Petrovsky, M. G. Yaroshevsky. 1998 .

selfishness

The value orientation of the subject, characterized by the predominance of self-serving personal interests and needs in life, regardless of the interests of other people and social groups. Manifestations of selfishness are inherent in the attitude towards another person as an object and means of achieving selfish goals. The development of egoism and its transformation into the dominant orientation of the personality are explained by serious defects in education. If the tactics of family education is objectively aimed at consolidating such manifestations as high self-esteem and egocentrism of the child, then he can form a stable value orientation, in which only his own interests, needs, experiences, etc. are taken into account. In adulthood, such a concentration on one's own self, selfishness and complete indifference to the inner world of another person or to a social group can lead to alienation - the experience of loneliness in a hostile world. In many psychological and ethical-psychological concepts adopted in the West, egoism is unreasonably regarded as an innate property of a person, thanks to which the protection of his life is ensured. In everyday usage, selfishness appears as the opposite of altruism. Breeding into opposite poles of egoism and altruism reflects the initial opposition of I and They. The historically progressive trend is associated with the removal of the antagonism of I and They by the unifying principle We: what is done by a person for others is equally useful to him and others, since it is useful for the society to which he belongs. So, if we keep in mind the socio-psychological patterns of behavior of an individual in a team, then the alternative egoism-altruism turns out to be imaginary. The real alternative is to oppose to both egoism and altruism such behavior when the subject effectively relates to others as to himself, and to himself as to all others in the collective ( cm. ).

Dictionary of practical psychologist. - M.: AST, Harvest. S. Yu. Golovin. 1998 .

selfishness

   EGOISM (With. 641)

Many generations of our compatriots grew up under the noble slogans: “The public is higher than the personal”, “To live for others!”, “Happiness lies in giving, not taking”... Against this background, any desire of an individual to defend his personal interests was perceived suspiciously as unwanted antisocial behavior. By calling a person an egoist, one could severely offend, thereby emphasizing that he is not like all normal decent people, but, on the contrary, a narcissistic selfish renegade.

Times change, habits change. The most popular slogan today is: "Every man for himself, one god for all." And, as often happens with sudden changes in the public mood, there was some kind of confusion in the minds of almost every single person. What principles to profess? Self-sacrifice and self-giving? But you won’t live like this in the current difficult conditions, and you certainly won’t achieve tangible success. Maybe focus on yourself, beloved? But it is not possible to get complete satisfaction from this: humanistic principles deeply rooted in the consciousness (or even in the subconscious) interfere. Yes, and relations with others do not develop very smoothly and do not bring much joy: a person who is focused on himself cannot wait for sincere sympathy from others.

Parents are especially worried: how to raise their growing children? Altruists and disinterested? But then, will the grown-up kid be able to assert himself in the conditions of the most severe competition and at least achieve something in the exhausting race of life? But if, on the contrary, he grows up as an egoist, will he eventually turn into a soulless manipulator who needs not only near and far, but also his relatives, mom and dad, only for the time being they are useful? Therefore, the inability of the child to take into account the interests of others alarms many parents.

However, parents can be reassured. Using the example of a growing child, one can, so to speak, observe under natural conditions the general laws of personality formation inherent in every person.

A person comes into the world with an unconscious (there is no consciousness yet) installation: this world exists for his sake, revolves around his person and serves to satisfy his needs. True, these needs are at first very simple: to get enough, to sleep, to send natural needs, to get rid of pain and inconvenience. A baby cannot independently provide for his life activity, this responsibility falls entirely on adults. And if they neglect this duty, the baby will simply die. So moms and dads, grandparents are listening to the still inarticulate demands of the baby, they are in a hurry to satisfy them. How else?

The first years of life pass under the sign of the child's concentration on himself. This is his natural state, which should not inspire fear. Complaints of the mother of a three-year-old baby that her child is growing up as an egoist are an unjustified exaggeration. Every child goes through this stage in their development. True, experts avoid the word "egoism", preferring in this case to talk about the so-called egocentrism. In the psychological interpretation, this concept does not contain any moral assessment, since it characterizes not so much the level of morality as the general cognitive position.

Of course, the complaints of the older generation about the selfishness of the young are largely a tribute to tradition: in all ages, the elders reproached the younger ones. Today, however, there are more grounds for such reproaches than usual. Growing up in an atmosphere of comfort and well-being, surrounded by unfailing parental care, today's young people (and this is objectively evidenced by scientific research) are, for the most part, more selfish than their peers in the old days. What conclusion should parents draw from this? To immerse a child for his own good in the abyss of adversity and trials? Of course no. But the opposite extreme should also be avoided. A child from an early age must learn that the fulfillment of his desires does not occur automatically, but depends on many conditions. And, meeting the needs of other people, it is easier to satisfy your own desires.

But is it possible in principle to educate a person who is absolutely alien to selfishness? It is customary to call an egoist someone who loves himself more than anyone else, and cares only about his own interests, neglecting others. Let's try to build a kind of moral ideal, so to speak, from the contrary. And before us will appear an individual, full of disinterested love for others, but completely devoid of love for himself. He readily hurries to satisfy other people's needs, and thinks about his own last. And now, hand on heart, let's try to remember how often in real life we ​​met such people. It will probably take a long time to remember.

Although people who do not love themselves are by no means a rarity. From childhood, having learned the abstract idea that it is bad to love oneself, they severely eradicated this "flaw" in themselves. But for some reason, it is these people who are not very pleasant to talk to, and by and large are simply dangerous to others. Because no love for others can be found in them. Ruthlessly exacting to themselves, they are just as harsh to others, intolerant of mistakes and blunders. Those who are ruthless to themselves are instinctively shunned by people, anticipating that they deserve no other treatment.

No wonder the biblical commandment calls to love your neighbor... as yourself! That is, self-love, even according to strict biblical canons, is not a sin at all, but the source and starting point of grace-filled love for one's neighbor.

The only difficulty is that unconditional observance of this commandment is incompatible with biological laws. Whether we like it or not, selfishness is an integral feature of all living things. And if we are honest with ourselves, we are forced to admit: not one of us loves all his fellows as himself. When conflicting needs and interests collide, I have no right to expect my neighbor to take my interests as close to his heart as his own. If we allow an extreme case: it is necessary to decide whose life to save - his or mine, I (perhaps not without hesitation and internal torment) will choose mine. Of course, there are exceptions - almost every parent is ready to die to save their child. But such actions cannot serve as a standard of behavior that applies to everyone around.

So let's not be hypocritical. Self-deception only breeds a sense of inferiority and a sense of guilt that we are not at the height of the proclaimed principles. Self-love is a natural, biologically predetermined property. A person who has lost this property becomes, in a sense, flawed. And it is in this sense that we can talk about the inferiority of the egoist, who, as it turns out, does not know how to love himself and defends his own interests rudely and inefficiently.

For thousands of years, selfishness has been the basis of evolution. Initially, the simplest life forms such as single and completely independent cells were subject to the law of natural selection. Cells unable to defend themselves quickly ceased to exist. But it was just as natural that such pure "selfishness" should lead to dangerous conflicts, since the benefit of one organism is achieved at the expense of another. And a certain degree of altruism arose as a higher stage of evolution. Single-celled organisms began to combine into stronger and more complex multicellular organisms. Cells abandoned their independence and specialized, taking on the functions of protection, nutrition, movement in space. At the same time, the vitality of the whole has increased significantly, thereby increasing the well-being of its constituent units.

In the same way, people have formed groups of mutual cooperation and insurance - families, tribes and nations, in which "altruistic selfishness" is the key to well-being.

So too, in his individual development, a man is initially conscious of only himself, and only later, thanks to the development of thought, begins to understand that between him and those like him there is a more or less close connection that contributes to his own well-being. Thus, the feeling of solidarity is not an original instinct, like selfishness, but has become only a later acquisition, both in the history of the human race and in the life of an individual. Altruism is not at all opposed to egoism, but only its deepening and expansion. A person arrives at the ideal concept of solidarity in the same way that he arrives at a practical idea about the organization of public institutions, that is, after he has understood that they are useful to him.

The one whom we call an egoist simply did not achieve a full understanding of this truth. It is like a restless cell that pulls all the vital juices onto itself and sooner or later is rejected by the body.

Canadian physiologist Hans Selye, famous for his doctrine of stress, is also the creator of the philosophical concept of altruistic egoism. According to Selye, the noble but lifeless commandment "Love your neighbor as yourself" should be replaced by the slogan "Deserve the love of your neighbor." No one can enjoy the blessings of life, without representing anything by itself and without constituting any interest and benefit for other people. Only the person who has managed to achieve something in life deserves true self-respect and the love of others, since his achievements in one way or another bring some benefit to people. Realizing that people appreciate his contribution to the general well-being, a person can sincerely love himself without being tormented by remorse. And his love for his neighbor is expressed in those real deeds that allow him to prosper himself and cannot but bring good to others.

And do not talk about the advantages of altruism or selfishness. In a normal person, these properties are inextricably merged, like yin and yang, like two sides of the same coin. A reasonable combination of these contradictory, but interdependent features is the basis of mental well-being.

Popular psychological encyclopedia. - M.: Eksmo. S.S. Stepanov. 2005 .

selfishness

The tendency to act primarily in one's own interests.

Psychology. AND I. Dictionary-reference book / Per. from English. K. S. Tkachenko. - M.: FAIR-PRESS. Mike Cordwell. 2000 .

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Antonyms:

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selfishness- Selfishness... Dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language

EGOISM- (from Latin ego I), the principle of life orientation, based on the motives of selfishness and self-interest, caring for one's "I" and its interests, even at the cost of the good of others. E. is the opposite of altruism. In a figurative sense, they talk about group ... ... Philosophical Encyclopedia

The highest good for any egoist is to satisfy his own interests ...

Egoism is the position and behavior of a person, which is completely focused on his "I", on getting pleasure, success and benefits. The highest good for any egoist is to satisfy his own interests.

Perhaps the egoist will object - what is so bad here? After all, every person wants to be pleasant, good and comfortable. Those who say otherwise are lying.

What is selfishness?

In principle, there is nothing wrong with self-love, since this is a natural sense of self-preservation and is inherent in everyone. However, the difference between selfishness and selfishness is that selfish people satisfy their needs at the expense of the personal interests of other people. And with self-love, concern for one's own welfare does not contradict the welfare of other people, or even combines with it and benefits everyone.

Egoism is based on hypertrophied conceit and indifference to other people. For an egoist, the main thing is to satisfy his needs and achieve his goals.

What is egoism?

Selfishness can manifest itself in different forms.

• It may be the conviction that everything should be subordinated to the interests of the egoist.
• It happens that a person considers it right to achieve personal goals by any means, as he pleases.
• For many egoists there is a law - "The end justifies any means", but this law is valid only for them.
• Or a person believes that all people should observe moral principles. Everything except him, if it is not profitable for him at the moment.

What breeds selfishness? Selfishness in the family

Usually selfishness is a consequence of improper upbringing in the family. When a child is instilled from childhood with an awareness of his own exclusivity, develops his inflated self-esteem, as well as egocentrism, the child may begin to form a stable orientation of values, in which he will take into account only his own needs, interests and experiences.

As an adult, the concentration of the child on himself and his desires, indifference to others can lead to loneliness and a sense of the hostility of the world. The same feelings can arise in children who are faced with the indifference of parents and other people. A person begins to think that no one will take care of him and his needs except himself and begins to put his desires at the forefront.

Parents themselves suffer from selfishness in the first place, indirectly giving rise to that same selfishness. Parents eventually begin to be surprised that the child has no other interests than their own, indifference and indifference to parents appear.

In families where one of the spouses is an egoist, it is also not easy. It is difficult enough to live with a person who puts his "I" in the first place and thinks that everything around him should satisfy only his needs. He believes that the world should revolve around him, and if this does not happen, quarrels, scandals, reproaches arise. Moreover, during quarrels, the egoist reproaches the others precisely in selfishness.

How to talk to an egoist?

Talking to this type of people is quite difficult, because they do not hear you. Usually the egoist is self-absorbed. The egoist needs a listener, preferably admiring and agreeing with everything. Very often, egoists are leaders, strong natures, who carry along weaker characters. There is some danger in communicating with them, as they can give out their own desires under the guise of yours, and manipulate you.

Egoists are vulnerable people, morbidly proud. They are too focused on themselves and may not even notice the irony and hostility of others. If you are forced to communicate with such a person, for example, at work, then there are two ways to develop relationships. The first will help you get rid of an egocentric interlocutor for a long time. To do this, you just need to start discussing with him his shortcomings and miscalculations. As soon as a colleague starts boasting about his achievements, remind him of his mistakes and the consequences of his mistakes. After this, the egoist will definitely want to interrupt the conversation and may not want to talk with you anymore.

If you do not want to spoil the relationship, and are simply tired of talking, start praising his talents and achievements, do not spare words and effort for this. Compliments and flattery are a balm for his soul. And then just end the conversation, citing urgent matters, in which case he will remember you as a pleasant and interesting person.

And if you fell in love with an egoist?

It is best to immediately run away from such a person, otherwise you will lose yourself as a person. The egoist does not tolerate near people with their own opinions, views and interests. Immediately ask yourself the question - do you have enough strength to spin around him?

Is it possible to re-educate an egoist?

Re-education is possible only in the event of a strong shock, during which he realizes that there are living people around him who have their own interests, problems and feelings. It is very difficult to remake an adult person, it is possible only if he himself wants to correct himself and makes an effort to do so. If your egoist partner loves you and wants to improve, it's worth a try, but you need to stock up on a lot of patience.