Conversation between teacher and student. Dialogue between teacher and student in Russian You came to talk to the teacher

Such dialogues in the staff room our schools between parents and teachers rarely happen. The reason is fear parents before school, or rather, before
teachers. Even more accurately, fear for your son or daughter.

Dialogue in the staff room school was recorded by me from the words of the parents of a ninth grade graduate. It's no secret that students with C grades are accepted into 10th grade without much desire.

- A shame! You have C grades on your certificate after nine years of study, and how do you think about studying in the tenth grade? – Anna Vladimirovna, the head teacher of the school for organizing the educational process, said edifyingly, shifting her gaze from the class magazine to Nikolai’s parents.

- Whose shame? “Your shame,” Nikolai’s mother suddenly quickly entered the conversation and turned to Anna Vladimirovna, “although your school in our city is considered one of the most prestigious, I believe that you are engaged in window dressing, and the children who suffer from this are the ones who are important to you.” indicators, not the students and their knowledge,” she said, “we were initially against Nikolai going to this school in first grade, but there was no choice, it was the only school in our area of residence,” Nikolai’s mother finished her speech.

Anna Vladimirovna did not expect such a turn of events and suddenly realized that it was not just her parents who came to her, who were ready to look into her mouth and catch her every word. People came who had their own opinion and were ready to defend it. She began to feverishly think about the answer.

- Well, if so, then why do you want to stay in our school and continue your studies? – the head teacher of the school asked with some indignation. , “We have an order from the ministry, which says that a student is accepted into the tenth grade if there are free places at the school,” Anna Vladimirovna said, dissipated.

To which my mother immediately responded:

Yes, for those who must study at their school where they live. This does not apply to us. In addition, Nikolai has a desire to complete 11 grades at this school, despite our arguments to move to another. This is his opinion and we respect it. He is a grown man and has the right to his point of view.

“Anna Vladimirovna, parents have come to you who are concerned about the fate of their son and what his mother said, please understand and take note,” Kolya’s father calmly entered into the conversation.

“So, I’m also a mother,” the head teacher of the school said proudly.

— No, at the moment you are a manager who is responsible at the school for organizing the educational process; and here we are - parents“who want to understand for what purpose you invited us,” Father Kolya continued decisively and firmly.

“You are given six months to improve in problematic subjects and continue studying at our school; we ask Nikolai’s studies to be taken under special control,” Anna Vladimirovna said slowly.

- Are you going to stay on the sidelines? - after a pause they asked a question parents, - it turns out that you blame us for the results that our son has today and withdraw yourself from your work; We fulfill our obligations to the school in full and have the right to demand results from you in Nikolai’s education; your condition is illegal, and we can contact the appropriate authorities,” the student’s father said calmly.

“No, you misunderstood us, of course, together with you we must help Nikolai improve his studies and graduate from school with good results,” Anna Vladimirovna said with some concern and looked at her watch.

Father and mother looked at each other, but did not continue this conversation. At that moment they understood each other perfectly, and Father Kolya said: “If, then we agree, but once again I want to emphasize that from you teachers the success of a student largely depends; it’s not for nothing that they say that teacher judged by his students, the more successful his students, the more respect he deserves, TEACHER».

Anna Vladimirovna sighed sadly...

Joint cooperation.

Parents do not be afraid to defend the interests of your children, teachers can also make mistakes and often there is a need to correct this mistake. For teachers(not everyone, of course, has teachers from God) it has become difficult to find the way to the soul of a child, teenager, young man or girl.

Although this is a paradox, a real teacher simply must have the key to the heart of every student in order to effectively interact with him. I agree, there are difficult situations. Then joint cooperation with parents can lead to brilliant results. But unfortunately, most teachers are moving away from their main mission.

AND parents sometimes they are left behind, not knowing what is really going on between teacher and their children. Task parents With teacher, and the teacher’s task is to give the necessary knowledge to children, to train them so that they can pass any exam, not only in school, but also in life, more often building dialogue and not only in the teachers' room, but also for further cooperation. Then honor and praise to the teacher And parents.

Good luck to you and your loved ones.

The names of the characters are fictitious, and the story is based on real facts.

Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it that matters.

If you want your communication with your child's teacher to be effective, try using these phrases in your conversation:

“I am concerned about my child’s studies...”

Saying, “I'm concerned about my child's progress in math,” is much less confrontational than saying, “You need to do more to help my son with math. Why doesn't he understand anything? You explain the material poorly!”

Using “I” messages instead of “you” statements will let the teacher know that you want to work together as allies and that you are not playing the blame game.

“Tell me, what can I do? ..."

Even in those moments when you disagree with the teacher, saying: “Help me understand” or “Tell me what I can do?” you support a constructive way to resolve the issue.

It also makes it clear that you are listening and are interested in resolving the issue.

“What was the purpose of this task?”

It is important to make sure that you and the teacher are working towards the same goals.

Clarifying your child's learning goals is important. There is nothing wrong with asking your teacher a question about the purpose of a particular assignment or exercise.

A good follow-up conversation with the teacher might be to ask, “Do you have any suggestions for what my child could do to work on the skills he needs to develop? What other activities can help my child understand this topic?”

"Have you considered..."

This is a polite way of sharing information and a good question to inquire about the actions and steps the school has taken.

At the same time, thanks to this introduction, the teacher will not feel the need to defend himself.

"I see…"

This phrase allows for the exchange of information and respectful recognition that parents and teachers often see children from different perspectives.

For example, you could say, “I've noticed that my child can retell a story in more detail after reading a paragraph out loud. Are there opportunities for read-alouds during classroom instruction?”

“It seems as if...”

“It seems” and “As if” are useful words when trying to reach a common understanding when talking about a child's progress or learning.

“It seems to me as if my child takes a very long time to complete his homework. For her, these volumes are very large.”

"How can I help?"

In addition to your child, the teacher has a full class of children.

These three words will let the teacher know that you are willing to play a role in your child's education and are not simply handing over responsibility for your child's education to the school.

Conflicts are always a complex and unpleasant topic. Especially when they concern third parties, such as your child.

It is on the topic of school conflicts that on March 03 at 18:00 we are holding an online meeting “Why conflicts arise at school and how to resolve them”

In one evening we will look at:

Hierarchy of the education system. Who to contact and in what case
Teacher-child conflict. Why does it occur and what to do?
Student-student conflict. Why does it occur and what to do?
The child was injured. What to do?
Student or teacher. Who is to blame for the conflict and what to do?

OverviewKeeping Eyes

In this article we will talk about the “subjects of the educational process,” in the language of social science, who for 11 years put their strength and soul into the educational process: some less, some more, but they all did it. Of course, I’m talking about our dear teachers!

Of course, I’m talking about our dear teachers! I will not label them as “good” or “bad”; I will write about people who, to one degree or another, influenced my worldview and mindset. I hesitated for a long time, thought and decided that I would conduct an interview with such teachers - for a certain time I would talk with them about their life, fate, and ask quite pressing questions that I had not dared to ask for eleven years. I came up with the name of my column, which is quite unoriginal, but memorable: “dialogue with the Teacher.”

I thought for a long time about who to make my first interviewee, for quite a long time I compared candidates by qualities and significance for me and decided to settle on an extraordinary person who stands out from the usual number of people in his profession due to the fact that, in addition to his field of activity, he knows quite a lot of disciplines , can support any dialogue, has a fairly subtle mental organization! In the lessons of this teacher, no one will be bored: neither a humanist nor a techie! A wonderful teacher, interlocutor, comrade, friend and just a good person, physics teacher - Alla Olegovna Shvedova. I present to your attention an interview with this amazing person, with whom you can talk for hours and understand that there are still physics teachers who have an understanding of the world not only within their field.

Question: “Alla Olegovna, why did you decide to choose this particular field of activity and what is it connected with? Since childhood, have you dreamed of becoming a physicist or did you have some other dreams?”

Answer: “As a child, I had an active social position. In Soviet times, social elevators were quite well developed: at the beginning you became an October student, then a pioneer, then the Komsomol, and then the party. I didn’t have time to join the party because perestroika began and my position on these issues changed. In my youth, I really enjoyed communicating with people of all ages, however, when the question arose about choosing a profession, I realized that I wanted to interact with people. It was for this reason that I went into this field of activity - I went to work as a physics teacher, because I liked this science since childhood, I liked the way the teacher taught it, everything was clear to me and in fact he influenced my future to some extent.”

Question: “After graduating from a pedagogical university, did you encounter any difficulties?”

Answer: “Yes, of course. I remember when I first started working at school, the quarter was coming to an end and I had to give grades. And two people got a bad mark and, it’s worth noting that I faced a peculiar dilemma: on the one hand, I didn’t want to start my work activity from such a moment, and on the other hand, if I close my eyes to this, it means encouraging them. The director called me in, scolded me and, in my opinion, she did the right thing. Then I realized that these moments must be predicted in advance and paid attention to them.”

Question: “How do you try to engage children in your lessons, because you know that in modern society this is very difficult to do?”

Answer: “I have repeatedly heard from many people, when talking about the subject that I taught, the phrase: “You have no idea how interesting this is.” In my opinion, I must find interest in the topic that I must study (to my great regret, many teachers neglect this rule, and then are surprised and ask questions: “Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?”), that is, some moment that would attract attention. I believe that if I can create this interest, I will solve the problem with discipline, but, on the other hand, the child himself needs it, because if he asks such questions, he will be able to choose his professional credo, where he can express himself.” .

Question: “Alla Olegovna, you devote a lot of time, and I have repeatedly witnessed this, to your students in preparation for the Unified State Exam, Unified State Exam, but there are a certain number of teachers who pay a minimum of attention, actually forcing children to go to tutors, why don’t you enroll also, despite the fact that it may not be very decent, personal life should still be present too?!”

Answer: “I cannot do this because of my convictions, because if you imagine a “lazy teacher,” then in fact the student should engage in self-education, and should only consult with the teacher, but this is probably the system of the future, when the child will be first grade to choose and study the subjects that he will need. In the present tense, I am still a traditional teacher who approaches any task with a certain phrase: if I prepare for the Unified State Exam or Unified State Exam, then I prepare with full dedication of strength and energy, hoping for a good or excellent result.”

Question: “I know that for several years now you have been traveling with high school students from your physics and mathematics class to scientific conferences: what do you think they give to the students?”

Answer: “They provide invaluable practical experience, since meeting the luminaries of the scientific world helps them learn something new that the guys have heard little about or didn’t know.”

These are the main questions that I asked a truly interesting, brilliant person, with whom I want to talk and talk, who loves his job and works conscientiously. Addressing you, Alla Olegovna, I want to say a huge, huge thank you for the three years that you taught physics with us - I don’t know about others, but personally, my cooperation with you left only positive emotions and impressions. I wish you health, happiness, creative success, patience and the same inexhaustible energy that is present in you!

When your teacher calls you, chances are the conversation will either be about bad grades or bad behavior. At such a moment, you want to take a defensive position and reject any accusations from the teacher (which he has not yet had time to voice). How can you remain calm in such a situation? It's all about asking the right questions - they will help you immediately start building a plan to improve your child's results, and not slide into mutual accusations. We learned from teachers how to respond to parents about the most common reasons for calls and how to best handle the situation.

The teacher says: “Your child is not doing well in class.”

Problems with academic performance are a symptom of a wide range of problems. The child may be distracted by problems in the family, or the child simply does not get enough sleep and cannot concentrate. It is possible that the gaps in the child’s knowledge are a consequence of illness in the previous school year, when this topic was studied in class. The child himself could not figure it out.

Correct reaction: Check all the details with the teacher to understand what kind of help your child needs: does he have problems in all subjects or only in one or two? Did he write a test (or two) poorly or is it taking a long time? Is he not doing the work or doesn't understand the assignment?

We create a rescue plan: Always find out your child's opinion about the situation. Ask him: “The teacher is concerned about your math results, what do you think about this?” Find out how you can help him, and come up with several ways together with the teacher. The teacher may suggest teaching methods that can be used at home, or provide additional classes and consultations for the child. Parents should also check their child’s homework and discuss any mistakes made with them. It is necessary to constantly monitor how the plan is being implemented - this way parents will be sure that the child is developing in the right direction.

What further? Meet with the teacher a few weeks after starting your plan to assess your child's progress. If there are no improvements (or they are insignificant), consider the option of an additional tutor, consult with a school psychologist about the child’s abilities and motivation to learn.

Bad behavior

The teacher says: “Your child behaves badly at school.”

Correct reaction: clarify what the child is doing wrong. Is he disturbing others? Running around the classroom? Is it making too much noise? Children are often poor at expressing their feelings, and bad behavior may be their way of conveying anxiety. Find out from the teacher at what time the child begins to behave badly - this may be the answer. For example, a child behaves badly before a physical education lesson - he may be afraid that other children will laugh at his failures in sports. Another option: the child does not get enough attention from the teacher or other children, and he begins to behave loudly in order to be the center of attention. Perhaps the child simply has too much energy and cannot behave calmly while working independently.

Does the child have attention deficit disorder? If a child used to behave calmly, but recently his behavior has begun to raise questions, this is definitely not an attention deficit.

We create a rescue plan: If you think that anxiety is to blame, then support the child. Show that you are bad at sports or something else. Let your child see that we all make mistakes and are imperfect in some areas. Also help your child show his strengths.

If the child is naturally very energetic, ask the teacher if the child has a chance to “blow off steam” before an important lesson. You can have your child erase the board or do other work for the class before the lesson begins. To deal with your child's attention-seeking behavior, teach them that the best way to get attention is to follow the rules and get good grades. (You can ask your teacher for a list of class rules and review them with him.) Suggest other ways to become noticeable: do something nice for your classmates, for example.

What further? Meet with the teacher to make sure your child is calmer. If the child is still behaving badly, take him to a psychologist so that he can rule out attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity and other unpleasant things.

It's hard to receive news about your child's failures. We offer advice from teachers on how best to perceive problems and begin to solve them.

Take all your free time. If you are uncomfortable talking to the teacher, schedule a suitable time and call the teacher back.
Do records. It is much easier to remember the teacher’s comments and suggestions if you transfer them to paper.
Not interrupt. Teachers take a long time to find the right words to talk to you, respect them and let them speak.
Share their ideas. No one knows a child as well as his or her parent, so tell the teacher how you deal with difficult situations and offer your own solutions to the problem.
Don't try to solve the problem quickly. Listen carefully to the teacher's position, think about it and discuss it with your family. Meet with the teacher, and continue to monitor the situation and provide assistance to the teacher.
Not go away V protection. The main goal of the conversation is to help the child cope with difficulties, and not to blame anyone. The teacher needs your help to solve a problem.

The Internet is full of examples of how parents communicate with teachers. The range is wide - from the exchange of sarcastic pleasantries without bodily harm to the infliction of traumatic brain injuries. And the screams in front of the whole class, “How dare you give my girl a C!” generally became a classic of the genre. Teachers defend themselves as best they can. Yes, they are not angels either. As we are. And we are equally responsible for what our conversation will be like.

Parent meeting

Why are you going to the meeting? If you intend to find out everything about your own child, then this is a mistake, because the meeting is for everyone. Moreover, at a properly structured parent meeting, there should be no talk about specific children and their exploits.

The purpose of this event is to show each parent what the situation is in the class as a whole, what (in general) problems the team has, and how these problems can be resolved. Here you need to write down what teachers say about the characteristics of age, about the mood prevailing in your children's team. Unfortunately, mothers and fathers do not always understand that it is the team that has a colossal influence on the child. And if you don’t understand what they breathe there, then it’s not clear what’s happening to yours.

And please, don’t ask the teacher in front of everyone whether your child is successful or unsuccessful. If not, you will be upset; if yes, someone else will be upset.

Tête-à-tête in an empty classroom

You can find out everything that concerns your child during a personal meeting with the teacher. The main mistake: we come when it is convenient for us, without agreeing in advance.

But you can make an appointment either through the child or by phone.

And - no offense! - the teacher cannot spend a couple of hours of time on you: you need to prepare for lessons for tomorrow, check your notebooks...

To keep the conversation constructive...

Decide in advance why you are going to the teacher (to talk about academic performance, behavior, relationships with other children, etc.). And tune in to dialogue, not to a showdown.
First of all, think for yourself: what are the reasons for your child’s failure? A teacher cannot know everything about a student that the family knows about him. It often happens that there are problems and conflicts at home, and we ask the teacher why the child does not want to study.

Hence the conclusion: the teacher must tell about the problems of the child and his family. And it's not just about quarrels between parents. No less important is a change or loss of a job, or a change in financial status. And also a serious illness of the mother, the death of a beloved grandmother, the birth of a younger brother/sister (especially with a large age difference)... General requirements for the child cannot be made at this time, but the teacher will not know about this without your help.

If this is a secondary school teacher, he does not always know what the child had in primary school: whether the teachers changed, or whether the class teacher was unlucky. Then what he currently sees in the child will make him more lenient: it’s not his fault that they didn’t teach him, we’ll teach him ourselves first.
Of course, the teacher must know if the child has health problems (and what kind).
Even a wise and experienced teacher may not know that a child is being bullied outside the classroom; not everything happens in front of the teacher’s eyes! If there is a trusting relationship in the family, the child will first of all tell his parents that he is being offended, and will not tell the teacher.

That is, if you want an individual approach to your child, your job is to provide this approach. There is no need for unnecessary details: you are not going to speak out, but together with the teacher to find a solution to the problem.

The child complains...

Any parent should remember: children always hide behind teachers for various reasons. Dad and mom only demand straight A's, but the child is lazy or is there something he can't do? Do not doubt: in his interpretation, the teachers will be to blame for everything - they find fault, do not like, do not explain. Children often tell things at home that are not what actually happened; they take advantage of the moment when the teacher raises his voice or says a harsh word.

After this, there is no need to run with pitchforks at the ready to sort things out! Although, of course, it is necessary to understand the problem.

What to do so that all the steam does not go to the whistle? Understand the consequences of such a conversation. A beaten and abused teacher will not be able to help your child. A good one will get sick from grief, a bad one will take revenge. Any aggression breeds aggression, and teachers are people too.

Even if you are one hundred percent sure that the teacher is wrong, when going to him, remember the important points.

Under no circumstances should you take your child with you so that he can tell everyone how the teacher offended him. We often deal with tired, nervous people with a lot of occupational diseases. You don’t know in what state the teacher came to work, what’s going on in his family, why he lost his temper... Finding out what happened, how the teacher was brought to the point where he said the wrong word, is better without children’s ears. And even if the teacher is absolutely unsuitable and behaves incorrectly, he is still the eldest. And humiliating him in the presence of a student is unpedagogical. If you do take your child with you, ask the teacher if he is needed during the conversation. If not, let him wait outside the door.
The dialogue should begin not with accusations (“You are to blame!”), but with yourself (“I’m upset, I’m worried”). Then there is a greater chance of seeing repentance, receiving an apology, and establishing feedback (rather than aggravating the conflict). There are no complete scoundrels at school, they don’t stay there, and everyone has the right to make mistakes.
Do not transfer your own childhood grievances onto the teacher. If you didn’t like math as a child, your son suddenly has problems with math - this is not the same thing, and it’s not specific to math teachers. Often, in an effort to protect a child, we defend and justify ourselves, act out a situation from our own childhood, and the conversation becomes unconstructive.
The counterarguments “I also had bad marks in Russian (mathematics), I also failed classes and got angry during breaks, and now look how good I am and how much I have achieved” are unreasonable. Here it’s time to remember what your parents’ reaction was to your childhood “exploits”. And that these problems are a thing of the past only thanks to the merits of your own dad and mom.

Gifts and offerings

The myth that you can’t live without gifts was generated by the parents themselves. People who depend on gifts are not that common in the profession. This is a pathology, this is an exception.

If the teacher is a dishonest person, then, thanks to your gifts, he will turn a blind eye to your child’s problems, and this will not benefit anyone. At the very least, you will put a decent person in an awkward position. If you want to thank someone somehow, do it when there is something to say thank you for, when the problem has been resolved. The general tone is also important here: the gift is not a bribe given to someone who is hateful, but to someone in power, but a sign of gratitude. These are the ones I remember.

Performance problems

Before asking the teacher what the “F” is for, ask the child to open his notebook (notes, textbook) and check his basic knowledge of what the “2” is for. Maybe you won't even have to go to school.
If the column of twos is shown, that is, the teacher is unsuitable, then in theory we should unite and ask the class teacher for a collective meeting. If parents do not unite, teach your child on your own, and maintain polite neutrality with the subject teacher. Alas, one in the field is not a warrior. We are solving the situation with education, and not training teachers.
If the two is fair, explain to the child: the mark is not an attempt to offend him, but the result of his work. Not an assessment of the child’s personality, but what he has earned so far in this subject. Of course, he can do better and more. But any study is work, and overcoming difficulties is the main point of education, which we forget about. When the child completes the task and corrects 2 by at least 3, he will already have something to be proud of.
If you are extorted money for private lessons, first of all, test the student with an independent teacher to understand how serious it is. If you can’t cope on your own, take someone else. In respectable schools, it is prohibited to engage in tutoring within the school walls and to tutor your own students (only at the urgent request of parents and only after they have been offered an alternative). If you feel that tutoring is being forced on your child, go to the director. Not a single director will take responsibility for someone else's disgrace, and the culprit will be punished.

Important: the teaching profession does not belong to the service sector. Therefore, under any circumstances, talking to a teacher as if he were a subordinate who has committed a crime is, to say the least, impolite. Try to see a like-minded person in your teacher, and the result will pleasantly surprise you.

This is definitely not necessary:

Asking: “Well, how is mine?” (you know this better than the teacher: you have one child, he has many).
Talk about your son/daughter “from the creation of the world”: how he was born, what he played, what he likes and dislikes. But specific details are welcome: kind, attached to his younger sister, helps his grandmother. And he fights at school because he was beaten in elementary school. - State: “I personally checked, he definitely learned this...” (learned one thing, received for another, unlearned).
Try to personally correct your child’s mistakes in homework.

Comment on the article "Talking with the teacher. How?"

30.01.2012 21:46:29, first teacher

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