Added: 09/03/2012 19:38 [+0 ]

Alexander! The site is waiting for the promised video from you. The poems are not bad, but the swearing somehow gets them down. We need to start fighting for purity, brothers. I was here recently, I wrote about 20 of my works, to this humorist, who gave us our last interview I gave it, I honestly forgot my last name. So, all my works where there was the slightest hint of this, even a veiled one, they deleted it. And after I invited you to visit our website, gave me a link, I was completely blacklisted. Yes, in fact, I was not impressed by it. The only advantage that we need to adopt, and very quickly, is the ability to instantly attach video material to any text.

Odessit Added: 09/03/2012 22:12 [+0 ]

What video did I promise? I don't remember something. Vasya_hrenov suggested that I post poems (although these are fables, but it doesn’t matter), which I did. *Brothers, we need to start fighting for cleanliness.* - Is it really dirty here? I'm all stuck. and the fact that the poems are like that, it was so boring in childhood, and we are not some kind of puritans to cross ourselves after every swear word, if its use is appropriate and justified, why not, the main thing is not to overdo it.

Regarding the fact that your works were deleted, I’m sure they didn’t even read them.

vasya_hrenov Added: 09/03/2012 23:44 [+1 ]

Well, this is not on a permanent basis. Yes, from time to time it is possible. Bespristrast mentioned that he writes swearing poetry, I asked him to post it.

Odessit Added: 09/04/2012 02:07 [+1 ]

Actually, I don’t write, but I did write a long time ago. This is how, due to incorrect interpretation, my reputation as a foul-mouthed person will be established))

vasya_hrenov Added: 09/03/2012 23:42 [+1 ]

Great poems.

I liked it. Very lively. No worse than Krylov.

akuwa Added: 09/04/2012 06:23 [+0 ]

Alexander, everything is fine. I like it. Of course there are a lot of peaks, but that’s okay. To avoid bleeping, I try to edit, you won’t believe it, but it takes almost as much time to remove the curse words as it does to write.
I liked it, otherwise it would have gathered dust, as you put it. Fables to the brim (wow, crap), but the essence is, of course, the same. Go ahead. Who knows, let Ivan Andreevich (Krylov) rest.

akuwa Added: 06/15/2016 12:42 [+1 ]

Wolf and Lamb

The little Lamb has gathered,
Drink water at a watering hole.
He is small, still a child,
Wolf meets him, on a drinking binge.
Swollen, the whole muzzle is swollen,
And he rushes at the boy like a storm.
Byashka's blood froze in his veins,
“Well, that’s it,” he thinks, “Hana.”
-The folder has two liters of potion,
The Lamb says to the Wolf.
But you’re suffering from a hangover,
Tell me, I’ll drag you in a moment.
For this, you take me to the stream,
You'll miss it all the time.
- I agree, Byashka, your mother,
Are you still here, how long should I wait?
And not even five minutes had passed
The wolf did not have time to look back.
Lamb with vodka, right there.
Out of happiness, the Wolf sat on his ass.
Well, Byashka, you give,
You are like a brother to me now.
Even when you come here,
I will be glad to meet you.
This is how it turns out,
Maybe luck will turn around.
All that was needed was
Time to splash the wolf.

akuwa Added: 06/15/2016 12:44 [+1 ]

Lion and Hare

One day Leo was walking through the forest and stepped in some shit.
- Let's build a toilet! Okay, it's decided.
They sawed boards and logs, dug a hole,
Everyone worked, only Kosoy did not dig a single gram.
In general, he’s kind of strange, he hammered a bolt on everyone,
I was in a cast almost all the time and walked around with bruises.
All the shit in the forest was collected in a heap and burned,
In general, we spent it like a cleanup day.
Once again the Lion is walking along the path,
He sees the Hare on the path, sat down, sits and shits.
The Lion flew up to the Hare out of indignation,
And I wanted to give him a kick in the ass.
- Lyovochka, for mercy, how could you even think?
I just caught a butterfly at my feet.
But he doesn’t take his hands off, what a cunning bitch he is,
- What is the name of the butterfly? Well, this is...Swallowtail.
Who are you fooling around with, raise your hands,
- After all, the bitch will fly away, I feel sorry for the hell out of it.
Okay, I’ll let you go, there’s no use for her,
The bitch flew away, but she gave a shit!
***

The funniest fables

HAPPINESS IS WHERE THERE IS LOVE!

Three girls in the evening
Gathered at a friend's house:
We looked through the catalog,
We drank cola and cognac.
We got tired, dreamed,
Slowly we started chatting...

One girl says:
- “If only I met a prince,
I would tell him for everything -
The baby girl gave birth!
But first - a fur coat, a car,
Well, there’s a dacha on Rublyovka!”

Her friend answered:
- “It’s like you fell from an oak tree!”
Nowadays princes are not in honor
We need to shepherd the “daddy”!

So that the “beaver” has gray hair,
Single or widowed,
To keep the bank solid,
To be included in the elite club!

If only I got one like this
I would throw a feast like a mountain!
So that in the evening my wife
And in the morning I’ll be a widow!”

The third girl stood up:
- “That’s no good, girls!
And there will be no use in life
Without love, but by calculation!

Let him not be a prince of elite blood,
And not a respectable “beaver” either!
If only he believed and loved
And he valued his family!”

Two friends laughed
The third durra was called.
We sat and laughed...
Well, we parted for the time being.

Five years have passed since then
How did that conversation go?
And at the behest of the pike
Or fate's favor
Friends met again
Well, we stayed to chat.

The first girl says:
- “You fool, I wanted a prince!”
There is a fur coat, there is also a car,
There is also a dacha on Rublyovka.
Only me at that dacha
Like in a golden cage!
No friends or girlfriends
Crowd of guards around!
I suffer from boredom every day
There’s gold in this cage!”

“Yes-ah,” the second answered,
- If only I had once known
What's the scariest thing in the world?
Be responsible for the life of the “beaver”!
Promised me mountains of gold
And he handed over two contracts,
Believe it or not
I'll fly out the door naked!
And now even a wolf howls
God forbid I become a widow!”

The third girl said:
- “Yes, it’s not sweet for you, sisters!
My Vanyusha is not like that -
Hard-working and simple.
People hold it in higher esteem
Our son and daughter are growing up.
We live in our own house
And we do business together!

Here he is, easy in sight
Together with my daughter and son.
Well, friends, I have to go!
No feather or fluff to you!”

She gave her hand to her husband,
She hugged her son and daughter,
Got into a white Mercedes
This is where the fairy tale ends!

A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it,
A lesson for young offspring!
We remind you again and again:
HAPPINESS IS WHERE THERE IS LOVE!!!

A family of lions without too much fuss
The issue was resolved positively, it seems.
Since then, poverty has not been seen in the forest
(And, by the way, the hares are not noticeable either).

Friends met over the weekend.
Of course, the table was laden with dishes.
There were so many alcoholic drinks there,
Bacchus would hang himself from envy!
The hostess ate and drank a lot.
Without forgetting, she poured it for the guests,
Well, and the dog, from the master's table
She served leftovers every now and then.
There was a dispute about this and that.
We laughed and joked a lot.
The conversation was carried on in a cheerful rhythm,
But, nevertheless, the heroine has become a lot.
She went away to the bedchamber,
After her, the poodle disappeared too.
Her husband pleased his friends all night
And in the morning the picture appeared.
When, at dawn, the guests left,
He sleepily wanted to cling to his beloved,
And then the evil spirits go to bed and appear
Without the need for it necessary.
In the place of the most amiable wife
Chernel with tail, hooves, horns
A disgusting image of the evil Satan,
Cast down to hell long ago by the Gods.
Hand to the switch and bright light
I opened the eyes of my screwed-up husband.
There is no beloved on the bed at all,
But he finds his girlfriend on the floor.
She sleeps on a dog mat,
And the poodle is on her bed.
Let the reader forgive me,
But who of all that evening was the giver?!!
Master, rusty like a gelding in a stable,
He loudly retreated to another box.
And I, I call everyone reading
To learn from mistakes.
The moral here is primitive and simple:
And, if a glorious holiday happened,
Since I wet my lips with nectar,
Make sure you don’t put yourself to shame by overdoing it

WOLF ON A DIET

The Hungry Wolf said to the She-Wolf:
- I miss the bird so much.
I won’t refuse lamb either.
His thigh is so delicious!
“Calm down,” said the She-Wolf, “
Or have you forgotten that it’s no good,
Even children know about this
Dreaming about meat on a diet?!
- I, dear, know too,
But I’m just melting from hunger.
There is a veil before my eyes.
Prey is often not visible.
And even if something is visible,
I can't catch up. What a shame!
My health plummeted as if into oblivion.
I'll have to stop my diet.
Even though cholesterol is high,
I'm still a wolf, not a donkey.
Read, reader, this fable,
Before you go on a diet!

DRAGONFLY AND ANANT

Jumping Dragonfly
She didn't know her stuff:
I danced the entire repertoire,
Forgetting about the brakes.

She knows different styles
You yourself must understand
Instantly the dancer was promoted
On posters all over the country.

There is no respite on tours,
There are no traces of the old days,
The Notorious Ant
The impresario is with her.

And the dragonfly tribe grows,
Having fun from the heart.
This is what it means nowadays
“So go and dance!”

TWO LOAFS OF SAUSAGE (FABLE)

One day two loaves of sausage
Before stepping on the scale,
We talked quite frankly.
The Russian loaf behaved arrogantly!
“Do you know?” he said: after all, my parent-
Our native Russian manufacturer,
It’s not like you were born abroad,
Shining and smelling dude!"
“Perhaps I’m a dude,” he answered in tone
Beautiful imported loaf -
But look at yourself now.
There is nothing Russian inside you:
Lard was brought from Germany,
And the factory bought the meat from Italy!
And so that weight gain would be felt,
They put a Spanish additive in you.
Just a shell, like from Russia,
It makes everything better, more beautiful.
But the shell is like a condom
Which will hide any negativity.
And here I am, an imported loaf.
Produced abroad.
But according to the same recipe,
Where there are no traces of Russian dope:
Without soy, raw material substitutes.
That's why I look like a dude."
-MORALITY-
It doesn't matter where the loaf was born.
It should be healthy and tasty!
No need to use a condom -
The child must be healthy and beautiful!

A NEW FABLE ABOUT THE CAT VASKA

Mice one fine evening,
(Sorry about the stamp)
Vaska the cat invited to a meeting
Movements "Cats to mice!"

Vaska the cat (current Vasily)
Presented the block he created...
(Apparently, he was beaten a little
Because the lard was dragged away.)

I've been friends with mice since childhood! -
He said, licking his mustache,
-My slogan is for all mice to have dinner
Swiss, but free, cheese!

I solemnly give you my word, -
Here he licked his lips again,
- What about banning mousetraps?
I will push the law.

The mice squealed: “Vaska is a darling!”
What eyes he has! -
Giving it to him unanimously
Sympathy and voices.

To thunderous applause
Vaska the cat said he was glad
HAVE such an intelligent
And a loyal electorate,

Thinking: -And delicious too!-
Left with a young mouse...

With the moral of this sad fable
Figure it out for yourself, my reader!

FABLE OF THE GREEK

Once upon a time a very wise Greek
hastily built a pirogue,
said that there are no rivers in the world
in which there is no ford.
He said and launched it into the water
its not cunning structure,
leaned on the oars as hard as I could,
trying to cope with the current.
…
The rapids have passed, before him
river silence - slanting shallows,
suddenly he sees a miracle: there is no burbot,
not tench, not bream, not catfish, not perch.
Six paws, whiskers, claws and a tail,
well, definitely a caterpillar track,
and when he looks, he gets diarrhea
and I will back away like a cancer.
"Who are you?" - asked our brave Greek.
“Well, answer me quickly,
I've walked a lot of rivers,
but I haven’t seen anything worse.”
Silent like a fish, only with its tail
the sand is quietly raking in.
Our Greek wanted him with an oar,
then I thought: what if it breaks!
And you won’t pass by either,
so you can seem like a coward,
and even the deadest ruff
the Greek will be mocked.
…
And now the Greek has five
hidden under the muddy water,
If he would be by the tail, but no, in the claw...
The echo howled over the river for a long time!!!

This fable has only one idea:
don't crawl into the river with your hands,
what if there is a crocodile fish
or even worse - piranha!

THE WOLF AND THE WOLF WORK (FABLE)

In one neglected forest
With thicket and swamp
The wolf came to settle down
For wolf work.

Covering gray hair with resin,
And sprinkled the wool with nectar,
The gray one comes to the boar,
Head of HR.

And straight to the point, they say, teeth
As long as there is enough
You see, I’m ready to work
Specifically, in a wolf pack.

The boar grunted as if he was waiting
Another statement.
- But you are a wolf, not a jackal? -
He sniffles indignantly.

What the hell else is a jackal?
The applicant was taken aback.
- Well, consider it a miss.
You're in our woods, buddy.

The boar smelled its butt on the stump,
He squinted slyly:
- Our staff is filled with wolves
A brigade of jackals.

Are there jackals in the forest?.. These are the times -
The wolf mumbles in an obvious trance. -
Or maybe... you have this
Other vacancies?

I could be just like a fox
Catch mice and birds.
The boar laughs:
- Oh, come on!
We no longer have chanterelles.

Instead they live in the forest
Visiting hyenas.
It's not like foxes are plowing here
Resignedly in three shifts.

So I would have become a rabbit.
Let them teach me. -
The wolf babbles. - It's a shame
But if the opportunity arises...

The boar laughs:
-Wah, I'm going to die!
You obviously got drunk!
We've had kangaroos for a long time
Here they jump instead of hares.

So should I just die?
The wolf exclaimed in despair.
- Come on, where is the bear sitting?
Toptygin, your boss?!

Bear-f-eat! - grunted like a chant,
Boar. - Well, you're great.
They even forgot the word. a lion
We now have a kingdom.

So where did I end up, boar? -
The wolf begs with a dull look.
Boar in response:
- Started by Satan
Take you to the Russian forest.

But only here we have now
Big changes -
Other fauna and animals
According to new thinking.

We don't even have a beaver in the river.
But there are hippos there,
Kulik, having collected water in his beak,
Flamingham surrendered the swamp.

Yes, I’ll tell you, myself
I warm the chair for the boa constrictor.
So, come on. Adju. Salam.
Look for another place.

TOPTYGIN AND CLUBFOOT

Together the joy rises,
Sprinkling more intrigue!
The wedding is walking through the whole forest, -
Toptygin is getting married today.
Grabbing the nice wifey
By the side, bear, playfully,
He strokes her gently with his paw, -
An irresistible diva.

All the forest inhabitants are happy, -
Happiness has come to their reserve!
Only there were connivancers,
They brought tar into the holiday.
The murmur began quietly:
"Look, there will be a wife
Clearly a little clubfooted!
Judging by her lameness..."

After the honeymoon
No consolation for Toptyzhka!
Everything goes on. He thinks. He's mad!
I took it all too closely.
How could it be otherwise, since they are dripping?
Moose, foxes and wolves:
“Why did you take the clubfoot?
What, couldn’t you find a softer wither?”

Toptygin started drinking. Tormented.
Is there a defect in the spouse?
Looks like he's trying to do housework,
Just like in family leisure.
Knits, washes and cooks.
There are no complaints about intimacy either.
But still, clubfoot, -
If you take qualifications in the taiga...

Well, disdain ridicule
Animals don't gather!
If the hares are drunk
They're talking about Clubfoot.
"Why am I still humbly
Did you allow them to be insulted?" -
Thought Toptyzhka, despicable
Changing feelings for vengeance...
There is a new churchyard in the reserve.
Nowadays there is only one grave there.
Who said at that holiday
“About my dear clubfoot”?

And there are more people with disabilities.
They partially have no legs.
Mishka's honor was amused,
Even if it’s not entirely ethical.

What concerns Clubfoot, -
She became "Mrs. Forest."
She is now admired.
The press often writes about her.

There's no moral to the story
There is no other reason for it.
There are only moratoriums for now
Blame and reproach!

EGG

Pestrushka laid an egg
Huge, like six kilos
Sensation! For the first time in the world!
There was no such thing
Correspondents, journalists
Publicists from abroad
And Guinness with his book
Wants to make an entry in it.
They all rush to the chicken coop
And they ask for an interview
Ready camera notebook:
-Tell us, Mother Pestrushka
How could you do this with Rooster?
Lay a giant egg?
“It’s a secret,” Kura tells them,
And he looks languidly into the distance.
-What are you planning next?
-Oh, you should all go away from here.
And at a distance the Rooster stands
And he glances sideways at everyone.
Correspondents all come to him
Questions are thrown at the rooster
-Tell me how you could do this
Lay a giant egg?
“Secret,” he mutters through his teeth.
And he looks very angrily into the distance.
-What are your plans for the future?
-The dream does not give rest,
I should take karate lessons,
To punch Ostrich in the face.

AT DAWN YOU DON'T WAKE HER

One rooster found a great job:
He hired himself to work in the chicken coop,
Crow something in the morning
And wake people up in time.
However, life is full of tragedies.
And soon at the neighbors' house
The young rooster began to crow.
It was a shame for the old man.
And he began to crow early,
While the neighbor was still dozing.
But he didn't wait long for revenge
And even earlier he screamed...
The night was getting shorter.
They started singing so early,
What is this singing to endure
The owners lost their breath.
Finally from the rooster
Only the giblets remained
But even they were eaten by the cat.

There is very little moral here:
Everyone needs to know that success in life
It’s not about crowing before everyone else.

***
Dreaming about pork bones,
There's a pack of bitches in Ukraine
So I decided: “Don’t be a coward,
Escape the Bug to Belarus.
If you have something to profit from,
We'll cross the border."
Disguising itself in the bushes,
The bitch was there.
A month, two and three, four-
They forgot to wait for her.
Suddenly Juliet appears
All curled up, dressed up,
Her fur shines like silk,
And a leash in diamonds.
-Oh, I'm full, girlfriends,
And pork bones and ears,
And sausages and bacon,
And heads from fat jocks,
And goose offal,
And chicken jellied meats.
I even started to get better,
I weigh twenty kilograms.
- Exactly, she became like a cow,
Well, go again
You are not needed here at all.
-But they don’t let you bark!
But no matter how you feed us,
Let the Ukrainians bark in the media.

***
In the distant Ural thicket
A woodpecker was chiseling the bark of a pine tree.
Such a simple hobby
He taught the larvae good things.

But with this dull work
There is no recognition from the masses.
And the woodpecker was tormented by care -
Find something to do that matches.

After all, only being able to chisel,
I was terribly jealous of the animals.
And, the beak hurt from the knock,
He dreamed of becoming famous himself.

He found a simple solution,
Why be someone yourself?
And the forest population became
As a critic, I teach them how to do things.

Then he sadly interprets to the wolf:
You, gray one, don't howl at the moon,
Doesn't like the night light
To break his silence.

He trains the horse boldly,
How to eat oats at the stables,
Swamp frogs skillfully
Verbal will close the diarrhea.

And even when I came to I-Bolit,
To slightly heal your beak,
He said it would be nice to have an entourage
Reduce doctors and nurses.

I listened to speeches like this
Animals of the Ural forest
And to hell they sent the Messiah, -
Everyone has their own opinion.

***
The moral of this simple fable
Not fresh at all, not new -
The stupid woodpecker did not come to the manger,
Adults have heads.

***
On supports, in the middle of the bedroom,
An iron chest was found.
Peaceful spirit of the bedchamber
The volume in the safe was full.
There are a lot of valuable cargoes
It has accumulated in it for centuries.

On a cool day, a year ago,
Enters the bedroom with interest
The master is wise and unique.
Along the path (between the forest)
He reached this bedroom
The month is warm in early summer.

"The engineering mind is visible!" -
He speaks in ecstasy.
"Straightness of angles and lines, -
The beauty of this creation.
I am convinced - to open up
He must keep a secret, brothers! ".

Having looked around, he looked back.
He takes out a pack of master keys,
A thought stirred my heart,
Started to solve the problem -
How and where they can happen
The safe doors open.

On right. On the left, - next, -
Push the safe wall.
The mind considers it a derivative,
Calculating the circle of the dilemma.
Searches long and hard
The solution is technologically creative.

Days expire, -
The master does not provide an exit.
The week is flying by.
A month passes in search.
Having become thin, everything is beating,
But no solution is given!

Finally, with a sigh from my lips,
Having grown thin in body and soul,
He clapped his fingers in anger,
Exclaiming: “Just cause!”
Destroyed irrevocably
Larya with a hundredfold wisdom!”

Gathering with humiliation,
"Battlefield" leaves.
In humility, instructing
He's going through things in his soul
Everything I saved up for a new one
A month of harsh practice...

Having occupied my mind, I didn’t guess, -
The safe... opened by the handle.

***
One day God was met by a snake
Do you hear, God?
give me the voice of the Nightingale!
Otherwise I can only hiss and whistle
And if you knew: all your life
I only dreamed about
to sing songs!

What are you, Snake!? When I made you
I deliberately deprived you of my voice
So that you don't sing sweetly
And into your mouth, who,
once again, I didn’t like it
But if you repent, then -
another thing!
Hold it! Now like a nightingale
you can sing
However, with evil,
Don’t you dare use this gift!

Thank you, Lord!
I thank you for teaching
I swear to you and my poisonous tooth
I give you the cut off
I will not forget the age of your kindness
And your new voice with evil
I won't use it!

The Snake has a short memory,
as you can see, it turned out!
And just opening my mouth,
again she shows the sting
Just crawled out of paradise -
Nightingale
(he was just flying past at that time)
Suddenly the Snake began to sing!
What a miracle!
The way he sings is beautiful
And he hits the notes correctly
Sang the whole song
and without a single falsehood
However, you would fly, Nightingale,
on your way further!
...And did not catch the Nightingale Snake,
forgetting about the oath - sorry!

Friends, remember the moral:
So that the Nightingale lives longer
He shouldn’t be friends with the Snake
What's the point, without falsehood?
she sings
What if she suddenly EATS you?
Since you were born a Nightingale,
hold on, just in case
away from the Snake...
And be sure that about your vows, about yours,
The snake will immediately forget

Then we won't have Nightingale anymore

***
In court, the fox made a speech.
The innocent judge haunts me forever.
She got hurt by the judge and got so sick.
The fox didn’t want to see a doctor either.

She was tried, but she continued to offend.
I didn’t want to answer honestly and with dignity.
How her pride was hurt in court!
She asked me to rest for only three weeks.

In a rude manner, the cheat convinced the judge.
She suffered from an ill-wisher hedgehog.
Shut up fox!
The wolf convincingly asked his friend.
I will help you as a colleague and as a friend.

The wolf was looking for a way out of a difficult situation.
For her, he constantly changed defenders.
But still the fox did not stop.
She constantly resorted to insults.

How she got mad and screamed.
Out of sight! Go away, you creatures!
The gray wolf is now unable to help the fox.
But the bear calmly answered the little fox.
The fox has long noticed your doings.

In addition to the wolf, the fox has a jackal as its defender.
And he remembered the fox’s prank for a very long time.
Wolf, jackal and fox, ultimately.
These are unique specimens!
You won’t find such soulless animals in nature.

Once again the fox complained to the judge.
She started talking about this and that and, of course, about fate.
Like, my noble hair is shedding.
The process is dangerous and will affect your health.

The bear asks God to let her go into the forest.
Immediately the little fox continued to split hairs.
I got loose again like last time.
The fox was sent to prison at the same hour.

***
Cloud loved her sons.
I always taught them good things.
Hail and wind are naughty.
They weren't always smart.

The sons walked for a long time.
They kept looking for beautiful wives.
We got married without thinking,
They got divorced right away.

The mother forgave her sons.
Of course she sheltered them.
Gave them all the love.
I taught you to think and not rush.

Clearly understood again.
Mom must be respected.
To avoid mistakes,
I need to take advice from her.

The wind brother was smarter.
This is how I explained everything to my brother:
“Mom wishes us well.
Protects from mistakes.

Always gives good advice.
Listen whether you want or not.
Listen, don't offend.
Make your own decision."

The brothers fly side by side.
They decorate our land.
They realized that a mother is a mother.
She must be respected.

***
When God sent a piece of cheese to the crow,
At that time I was not in the world...
Today I have grown up, and so have other children.
From the fable they will learn what happened next...

Today power is like a sly fox
He tells people how wise he is.
Talking about nano-miracles,
Which he was previously deprived of...

Today everything is covered with a folk layer:
Popular Front...budget - people's...
We build roads together with the people...
And the brand of the people is very fashionable...

Once again the people are proud of themselves...
And if the sly fox
In that fable, she took possession of the cheese...
Then in life the authorities are proud of themselves...
And the fact that she got it from the people...

And it seems like who cares.
You have to pay for pleasure.
And they boldly push flattery upon people...
So that the authorities are not beaten in the elections...

***
The Oriole turned to the Cuckoo:
“Tell me your fortune, faithful friend.
I will live in love... with Nightingale,
How long are we destined to be together?
The Cuckoo said to her in response:
“An idyll duet awaits you.
The Nightingale is bewitched by you,
You will soon become a devoted wife.
I don't waste words
You will live more beautiful than sweet dreams!
Why do you love the Nightingale?
I would avoid this,
They say: he is no man.
Don’t worry, it will only be yours!”

***
That same evening, somewhere by the stream,
The Cuckoo met the Nightingale.
The dawn found them in hot passion...
Know that in love there are NO girlfriends!

Dragonfly and ant in a new way

It's quite hot on a June day,
Having forgotten about rest for a long time,
Spraying gasoline and diesel fuel,
An ant was carrying a log home.

Suddenly in a clearing near a river
He looked up, stunned.
It's carefree and lazy there
A dragonfly dozed in the shadows.


Already September gives way to summer,
Rain knocks on the window every other day,
Having gotten myself a sweatshirt somewhere,
The ant is rushing home the log.
And on a ferry across the river
In the shadow of an umbrella, closing my eyes,
To the theater or disco
A dragonfly swims slowly.

The damned winter is fierce,
The sheepskin coat doesn't keep anything warm
But the ant does not protest -
Two logs are dragging through the snow.

I began to rest. He sighed heavily.
And suddenly I saw that in the sleigh
Dashing three horses in harness
They rush a dragonfly covered in sables.

Where are you flying - tell me, friend,
Not knowing the essence of existence?
- For leisure activities
I'm going to a dinner party.

Nice to have a glass of tea
Among talented people,
I love you, tasting the spirit of the elite,
Witness the birth of ideas...

Having shouldered the logs again,
The ant answered her like this:
“You’ll see if Krylov is there,
Tell him he's an asshole."

One day an ant
came to Broadway
and there he bought a tailcoat,
raspberry jacket
and yellow shoes,
and he became like a picture.

The ant had it
its own policy,
he was not a rogue in real life
and he respected work,
he loved to work
but he didn’t beat the drum.


And he was, yes,
drummer of labor,
and believed that the works
rescued from want
also had a plus:
he joined the trade union.

When summer ended
then the union is for it
bought him a ticket
so that he can see the light.
For the right views
he received an award.

Dragonfly friend,
huge eyes,
winged like a bird
loved to have fun
I didn't want to work
I just sang all summer.

Sometimes in autumn
she had a different path:
she was a singer
and flew to Nice,
she sang a vocalise there
and received a prize.

At a competition in Italy
she was given regalia,
now sings at La Scala,
but that's not enough for her,
thinks it's time
she should sing at the Grand Opera.

This story
says, my friends,
that both talent and work,
bear their fruits.

But the main thing is
go your own way
and be yourself
both summer and winter.

Autumn is coming, dragonfly!
Are you still jumping and fluttering?
So the night frosts
They will surround your blondie-hair!..

The wind will pluck the outfit,
showers will wash away the layer of coloring;
you'll reach your limit
gentlemen make eyes!..

They'll run away in all directions,
burrowing deeper into the cracks,
labor aficionados,
everything is golden elite!..


The yachts will lay their keels in the mud,
Mercedes will rust;
the light will not be pleasant to you,
heroine of a children's play!..

Ah, harsh ant,
hard worker and truth-teller,
how dark it is in your hole,
do you even save candles?..

Look: a crimson sunset,
the stars twinkle selectively!
You can't bring July back
Well, at least pour some tea...

I'll soak the crackers in water,
stir the sugar with a spoon;
dust is flying from the ceiling,
well... the house will fit!..


You say you've been in love for a long time?
everything is mine that I honestly earned?
There is cloth and linen in the chests,
and even a Versace suit?..

Very cute, I'm shaking all over,
I'm filled with admiration!
It was delicious, I'm leaving
my respect for the treat!..

Look: a crimson sunset,
the stars twinkle selectively!
You can't bring July back;
it will be cold? I'll find out...

Dragonfly and ant. TALE

There are many fables in the world, even children know this.
I love fables very much, I catch every word.
But I love one more, cherishing her in my memory.
The fable is well known to everyone, although it is not very flattering.
But here’s the thing, the topic suddenly struck a chord with me.
And I decided to write another story in response.
What will happen? Don't know. Well friends, I'm starting.
***

Once upon a time we lived on the edge of the forest, in a small forest hut,
Where the stream flowed, there was a dragonfly and an ant.
We lived so-so, not very well. The dragonfly is busy all day,
Either around the house or in the forest, he looks for clean dew.
Then in the morning, flying to the meadow, surrounded by friends,
It will collect nectar from flowers, a naturally generous gift.
And carries him home, so that in the snowy winter,
Don't starve with an ant and wait out the frosts.
***

Well, what about the ant? He was a noble scoundrel,
And he’s also a miser and a spendthrift, in general, a complete idiot.
Every day he lies on a leaf under a willow tree,
He doesn’t want to do anything, but he grumbles like an old man.
But one fine day, when the sun disappeared into the shadows,
The dragonfly, returning from the field, says to him: “DokOle?
You'll lie around all day, kick your ass and grumble.
Get off your butt and go to the next garden,
Gather more berries so that we have enough for the year.
The ant jumped up and rolled up its paws.
“What are you, what are you, God be with you, you don’t see I’m sick.
I have radiculitis, and gout, and bronchitis.
You, my dear, manage without me.”
The dragonfly remained silent, raising its eyes to the heavens.
I flew back to the field to work to my heart's content.
**

But one day, flying between the swamp hummocks,
Having caught on, the dragonfly tore the stocking.
Out of frustration, the dragonfly returned to the house in tears.
She rushed to her husband, asking him as a friend:
“Listen, dear ant, give me a few rubles.
I need to buy stockings, otherwise I have nothing to wear.”
The ant answered her: “Maybe I’ll give it to you, maybe I won’t.
I remember last year, you bought something like,
And stockings, and socks, and two silk scarves.
So what else do you want? You're fooling me,
Patch the holes in them, and fly for another five years.”
The dragonfly got angry and stamped its foot,
And she drove the ant out of the house with a broom,
With the words: “I’m tired! Life with you is sick of me.
Get out of sight, my dear hubby!”
Our ant is very proud, you can see that he is a grated roll.
“I drove you away! Yes, so be it! I have no need for sadness at all.
I’ll go to my friends and find shelter with them.”
***

Here he is running to Machaon (such a butterfly),
It flies across meadows and fields all day long.
And he lives under a snag and has a reputation for being a terrible miser.
An ant knocks on the door: “Open up, friend, quickly!
I really need you now!” Swallowtail: “I have a cold.
I can’t open the door for you, go away quickly!”
***


After stomping in front of the door, the ant wandered into the village.
There, in a small hut, behind an old stove,
There lived a good friend of his. "I'm sure he will help" -
The ant thought so, and slipped under the door.
And then run behind the stove, taking a candle with you.
And behind the stove the cricket was tuning its bow.
Ant to him: “Hello! I haven't seen you for a hundred years,
And out of old friendship, I dropped in for lunch with you.
And one more thing, my dragonfly has gone crazy.
She drove me out of the house, and from now on I am homeless.
You could give me shelter, at least for three days.”
“Yes, things are going on!” - said the cricket and tuned his bow.
"I feel sorry for you. But to be honest, it’s cramped behind the stove.
I will have to apologize and say goodbye to you, friend.
Don’t be angry with me, when you have time, visit me.”
***


Having said goodbye to the cricket, the ant left the house.
And he headed to his neighbor, a caterpillar that lived on a branch.
And among the windy garden brethren she was known as special.
So he climbed onto a branch and said: “Hello, neighbor.
How do you live, how are you doing, and what are you dreaming about now?
Do you remember how the two of you kissed in the rain?”
“Why, I remember!” he says. “My back still hurts.
After all, I was blown away then, my back was blown by the wind.
Well, why did you look in now at such a late hour?”


The ant was barely embarrassed, but his face did not change.
He scratched the back of his head, thought a little and said:
“The fact is that my wife and I separated,
And I want to live with you, my soul. How good you are."
Making a sour grimace, she answers immediately:
“Yes, I loved once, but that was a long time ago.
I’ll give you simple advice: go back home.
Kiss your wife tenderly and admit your guilt.
After all, in winter you will disappear, get sick and die.
***

That's such a bad thing. Our ant is almost crying,
With his head bowed down, he slowly walked home.
He knocked quietly on the door, opened it slightly and made his way into the house.
“You wife, forgive me and let me go back home.
I won’t forget your lesson, I will help you.”
The dragonfly grinned, narrowing its round eyes.
“Okay, sit down, eat and now listen to me.
If I suddenly hear your refusal even once,
If you help me, then I’ll kick you out forever,
You will live alone in the forest, and winter is just around the corner.”
***

The moral of this story is obvious. So as not to be offended,
Don’t live like an ant for yourself and your friends.
If you want to live beautifully, eat deliciously and sleep sweetly,
Then you must help your beloved wife in everything.

We read and studied the fables of Ivan Andreevich Krylov. Wouldn't you like to remake them in today's style? Of course, of course! They probably tried to write their own fables, but it is best, of course, to write remade fables. After all, there you only need to replace the words or describe the action and characters differently, and leave the spirit of the fable the same.

We also decided to make our contribution to this difficult but interesting work of the fabulist and published on our website the converted fables of Krylov and others. Agree that our lives have changed little over the past few centuries, which means that fables are still relevant in our time. Read and enjoy, dear visitors!

Fable “The Dragonfly and the Ant”, remade

On a June day it's hot like summer
Having forgotten about rest for a long time
Spraying gasoline and diesel fuel
Per ant home log

In a clearing near a river
he looked up in shock
It's carefree and lazy there
A dragonfly dozed in the shadows

September is already giving way to summer
Rain knocks on the window every other day
Having gotten myself a sweatshirt somewhere
Ant rushing home log

And on a ferry across the river
In the shadow of an umbrella, closing my eyes
To the theater or disco
A dragonfly floats slowly

The damned winter is fierce
The sheepskin coat doesn't keep anything warm
But the ant does not protest -
Two logs dragging through the snow

Got up to rest. He sighed heavily.
And suddenly I saw in the sables
Dashing three horses in harness
racing a dragonfly in their sleigh.

Where are you flying - tell me friend
without knowing the essence of existence?
For leisure
I'm going to a dinner party.

Nice to have a glass of tea
Among talented people
I love the beau monde, tasting the spirit
Witness the birth of ideas...

Having shouldered the logs again
The ant answered her like this:
“You’ll see if Krylov is there
Tell him he's a fool."

Fable “The Crow and the Fox”, remade

Varona, because she lived in,
Allah sent the weekend shashlik.
Pachistiv Blindamed beak in the village,
Varona sat down to eat shashlik on a chair.
And so that the meat doesn’t get stuck in the throat,
Varona “Khvanchkari” took the bottle.

There was a fox walking past on his way to work,
glass eyes, wanted apahmelitsa.
And hearing the smell of shashlik with your nose,
Varona ran up to him with the following question:

Oh jurajol, how cute you are,
What is the bush - shashlik or manti?

It’s none of your business, jurajol -
Varon said - There you go!

But our fox did not let up,
I tried to prolong the conversation,
smiled with all three teeth,
lay down, fell again,
blinked his cunning glass eye,
squeaked and deftly moved his pelvis.

At the same time Varone said:
What beautiful thighs you have,
how amazingly the leggings fit on them,
what a beautiful face you have.
You are more beautiful than the badger Katso!
What feathers - all almost without damage!
Oooh, look at your muscle - Vitaly Shcherba!
Your smell is the world of Uzbekistan!
You are not a varona, you are AREL! MANTANA!

You are fantastic, juradzhel!!!
You know, and I heard, you dance cool!

And the raven from such a compliment
Moral spirit dropped by 22 percent!
He couldn't dance from birth -
The problem was with the coordination of movement.
And then the fox suddenly called him a dancer!
Varona stood on a chair and said: Assa!!!
And he began to move all his body parts,
The skin in the back of the head was not softened.
And suddenly the crow stumbled with his paw -
the chair broke - the varon fell - BROKEN!!

The shashlik fell to the ground
and half a bottle of Khvanchkar:
The cunning fox said: HURRRAY!!!

Krylov's fable “Quartet” remade

Naughty Monkey,
Donkey, goat and Clubfoot Bear
They started... but not a quartet,
They don't care about the quartet!
And it all started with nothing:
Monkey, so, a little, slightly
I learned to read newspapers,
And she, the silly girl, imagined
Because she's a scientist,
Then you have to control the beast!
But let's say right away that she
She wasn't the only one
Because there are many candidates
He was eager to become a minister, a deputy.

After all, everyone knows that to your heart's content
The one who has power lives!
The animals did not doubt for long
And everyone gathered in the clearing.
And the beast decided so -
Create your own government!
Here everyone began to be judged and judged,
How to create elections for them.
To have something to vote with,
They began to tear the birch bark from the birch trees.

We decided to order a woodpecker
Your own animal seal.
The blueberries that were found
They used it all up for ink.
Geese caught on the lake
And they tore out their feathers.
(They will grow again,
And without a pen you can’t write.)
While they were judging and dressing,
The forest is slowly being destroyed!
When the losses were calculated
All the animals moaned quietly...
But Monkey didn’t like it,
That Clubfoot Bear has been chosen!
And she began to squeal disgustingly,
That the elections are illegitimate!
That everything was set up a long time ago
And without her everything is decided!
And she began to demand again
Collect an animal gathering in the forest!
To start re-elections,
I had to rob the forest again!
Should the monkey think about
What will it all lead to next?
Why should simple animals harm her?
Just to get to power!
Oh, if only she could turn around
Eh, I would have had a blast!
And now Monkey’s dream came true,
To be chosen by a big shot!

Now she is neither give nor take,
Prime Minister! Animal mother!
And she called it progress
Serving personal interests.
Even the press didn’t give a hint,
What about the once rich forest?
A FANTASTIC BREAK Happened
His sentence has been signed!
And not for a month, not for a year,
And ten years ahead!
The moral of this fable is this:
Don't let the monkeys learn
Read abstruse words!
And if you choose, then Leo,
Or choose the Lioness at last!
If only the ruler was a WISE!!!