Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Popular American psychologist and writer, one of the most cited specialists. He researched the topics of happiness and creativity, and became known for his theory of flow - a state in which people achieve the highest satisfaction from their activities.

Some facts: how the study was conducted

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi used the Experience Sampling Method. The technique consisted in the fact that during the week, about 8 times a day at random times, the respondent received a sound signal. After the signal, he had to mark in the questionnaire where he was, what he was doing and how happy he was on a 7-point scale - from “very happy” to “very sad”.

Csikszentmihalyi and his colleague Reed Larson personally collected more than 70,000 pages of data from 2,300 respondents, and researchers in other countries tripled this figure. The respondents were teenagers and elders, adult men and women from the United States, Europe and Asia.

What is flow state

All participants noted special conditions, which were later named by the author of the study. Conditions in which the consciousness is filled with various experiences, and feelings, desires and thoughts are in harmony with each other. People were so carried away by some activity that they immersed themselves in it headlong and did not notice the passage of time.

Flow occurs when you do what you love and give it your all. It can overtake you both while practicing your favorite hobby and at work. As a rule, flow comes when a person clearly understands the goal set for him, which requires a certain reaction.

The task should not be too easy, since here you can easily slip into a routine. It should not be too difficult, since a person in such a situation becomes disappointed and begins to worry without even trying to solve the problem. There must be a challenge in the task, so that all of his skill is required from a person to solve it.

A state of flow leads to personal growth. A person in the “Rise” zone is focused on solving a problem, but he is not yet very alert and does not have very good control of the situation. To achieve flow, he will need to acquire new skills.

In the “Control” state, a person feels happy, strong and satisfied, but lacks concentration, passion and a sense of the importance of his work. He can achieve flow if he increases the complexity of the task.

People achieve flow when they do things they love: gardening, singing in a choir, dancing, playing board games, or hanging out with close friends. Flow often happens at work. And very rarely the flow overtakes us when we are passive: for example, watching TV.

How to get satisfaction from work

Work gives us a feeling of fullness in life, but at the same time we are saddened by the start of Monday and joyfully welcome Friday on social networks.

In ancient times, leisure was a fleeting phenomenon. A person working in the field could find rare moments of rest for himself. The attitude towards work as something difficult and undesirable still remains in people’s minds, although for the most part we no longer work from dawn to dusk.

According to the questionnaires of the study participants, the sound signal often went off when they were engaged in streaming activities specifically on . They were faced with a difficult task, the solution of which required extreme concentration and creative effort.

The work has clear goals and measurable results: we either see for ourselves that the company’s business has gone up, or we hear a comment from the boss.

We experience more positive feelings at work than we might realize.

How work affects the quality of life is not determined from the outside. It depends on how a person works and what experience he gains from the tasks assigned to him. For work to be interesting, it must alternate between a challenge that requires maximum effort and simple tasks, during which we are convinced that we have achieved something in our profession.

There are many ways to do the same thing. Look for alternatives and experiment until you find the best one. When an employee receives a promotion, it is often because they sought out unconventional paths in their previous position.

Rest is the highest happiness, isn't it?

We often feel bored and apathetic and prefer to fill our brains with ready-made solutions, such as watching endless TV series or surfing the Internet. Or we resort to more powerful stimulants in the form of alcohol or gambling.

Leisure accounts for about a quarter of our free time. A modern person, as a rule, devotes his time to three main activities: consuming media materials, talking, etc. Each of these activities takes from 4 to 12 hours per week.

Passive rest quickly occupies our brain, but there is no challenge in it, there is no task, after solving which we will joyfully remember how great it was, even if it was not easy.

The payoff from active recreation is always greater, but it also requires a lot of effort to prepare.

That's why we often prefer to stay at home rather than call up friends and go for a run or ride a bike.

If you are too tired or worried about something, you may not have enough internal discipline to overcome the initial obstacle.

The first step towards improving your quality of life is to get maximum satisfaction from your daily activities.

Think about what activities give you the greatest feeling of happiness, what motivates you to new achievements. And return to them as often as possible.

Plan your time, especially - then during the week you won’t feel like the time allotted for rest was wasted.

Human needs human

Streaming activities connect people the most because they give you happiness and the feeling of achieving something important together. You immediately feel the impact of this relationship.

Communication with friends gives the most positive emotions. It often happens that we lose contact with school and then university friends because we outgrow the interests that once connected us.

Friendship, like love, cannot freeze; it manifests itself in caring for another person and mutual development.

Maintain relationships that move you forward. One of the most common complaints of people experiencing a midlife crisis is not being around.

When people pay attention to each other or the same activity, the chance of experiencing shared flow increases.

How to Achieve a Flow State

From a global perspective: Find something you enjoy and that is challenging. Learn to detach yourself from everyday problems while doing what you love.

Locally: You must be able to fully focus on the task at hand. You cannot be distracted by phone calls or “urgent” questions that colleagues or family members approach you with. The task should be interesting to you, have a specific goal, and its result should be measurable. In the decision process, you apply the maximum of your knowledge and skills.

If you feel that you are too excited about upcoming activities or, conversely, feel bored and apathetic, use it.

We have been given approximately 70 years. The quality of life directly depends on how you spend this day, month and whole year.

If you want everyday activities to bring maximum positive emotions, we recommend reading very inspiring books written by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Here you will find all the delicious things that were not included in the first part. Learn about the biggest mistake of popular goal achievement systems. About why people give up moving towards their cherished dream. And get acquainted with the five components of the success formula, which are practical in nature.

The article is dedicated to all the victims of time management who failed to achieve ambitious goals. People whose self-confidence has suffered in fruitless attempts to apply rational systems that contradict their inner nature.

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“Why do people give up moving towards their cherished goal?”

Adherents of various systems for achieving goals, all as one, teach us how to set goals correctly. They claim that setting the right goal is half the success.

The goal must be specific, measurable, results-oriented, time-bound, inspiring and motivating. A correctly set goal will continuously inspire and give strength in your daily work.

Once the goal is set and truly sparks passion, we move on to drawing up a plan. This step lists the stages, deadlines, as well as all the necessary actions leading to success.

If the goal inspires, it will uncontrollably push the person to do everything he has planned.

Right? At first glance, the theory is convincing. But, upon closer examination, it is deeply failed at the very root. I want to say that the basic principle of time management, which everyone declares, is its fundamental mistake!

Let's face it. The trainings have already taught us how to correctly set goals for the year and even ten years ahead. We can do this. So, why do the vast majority give up moving towards the goal at the very beginning?

Let's figure it out now.

“Egregious error in goal achievement systems”

Imagine a horizontal line on a notebook sheet. The beginning of a straight line is the first step towards the goal. The other end of the line is the moment of success. That is, the line reflects the time period from the moment the journey begins until arrival at the destination.

Let's say a goal is set for two years: to buy a car. Let's take this whole path as 100%. How long do you think a person will celebrate buying a car? Well, let it be a week. It's hard to be happy any longer.

2 years is 700 days. Accordingly, 7 days of victory celebration is 1% on the timeline. Let's not go into the fact that a person cannot work for all 693 days in a row. For our example, let's say it can.

SO, THE MISTAKE OF SYSTEMS FOR ACHIEVEMENT OF GOALS IS THAT...

They teach us to be motivated by positive experiences and the glory moment of that measly 1% of the time. At the same time, they stupidly ignore the joy and pleasure from the very process of achievement!

While preparing this article, I specifically reviewed books and articles on time management. Everywhere it was said that the goal should inspire. But not a word about the fact that the activity itself simply must bring pleasure, a feeling of meaning and satisfaction.

Little of! In one blog I found the following. I quote:

Seeing such a tempting goal as a million dollars in front of you, you don’t have to wonder “how to make yourself work.” You will be highly self-motivated when it comes to work that contributes to your long-term goal (dream!). Additionally, your daily routine actions will become more conscious and meaningful, because you are working for your dream!

Further in the text, the author suggests setting a goal: “$1,000,000 in seven years, so that you no longer have to work 8 hours.” That is, in other words, he considers it normal to endure routine and unpleasant work for seven years in order to never do it again.

But this is complete absurdity! Isn't it better to devote seven years to something that brings you joy? And anyway, why limit yourself to a time frame? Why not do this all your life?!

In my opinion, the number one reason why people give up on an inspiring goal is the reluctance to complete tasks that they are not passionate about. Reluctance in principle to engage in these activities, despite the desire to achieve the goal.

Correct systems for achieving goals should first of all teach us to look for an activity that we like. Then set a goal. And only after that make a plan: how to achieve your goal by doing what you like.

With this approach, 100% of the time period will bring joy.

That is why the first and most important principle of the success formula is: do what you like and enjoy.

I would like to note that an activity that brings pleasure does not mean an easy activity. For example, writing blog articles is difficult and sometimes mind-blowing for me. But overall, I really like it :-)

“Changing the concept of GOAL to PATH”

The goal is the destination or the final output product. The moment of its achievement is a fact that can only happen once. After achieving a goal, you can rest on your laurels for a while and then set the next one.

The moment when the goal is achieved cannot be extended in time. For example, when you came to the store, you bought kefir. Once you've paid, it's yours. The goal has been achieved. It is impossible to go to the store and pay for kefir for a whole year. Of course, only if you didn't buy it on credit :-)

Okay, this is clear and obvious. Now let's answer the question: why is setting the following goals fundamentally wrong? Here is the list:

• Learn English;
• Create your own business;
• Learn to play guitar;
• Find your love.

The desire to learn English cannot be a goal. It is a process of continuous improvement of speaking and writing skills. It cannot be final, if only because we will have to constantly maintain the vocabulary. Otherwise we will simply forget the language.

Creating a business is also not the goal. Business needs constant development: new clients, new services, process improvement, and so on. Business requires regular investments. We cannot become business owners one day and rest on our laurels.

However, it depends on what kind of business. But that's not the point. I think you get the idea.

Regarding other points, everything is also clear. Playing the guitar is a process. If it is stopped, the skills are lost. And if we have found our love, the fairy tale is just beginning :)

But if these are not goals, then what are? Let's call it a path. A path that has direction and involves constant gaining experience with continuous development of skills and talents.

Then our list will turn from a list of goals into a wish list. The desire to move in a certain direction and develop. Let's formulate it more correctly:

• Take the path of continuous improvement of skills in spoken and written English;
• Take the path of creating and constantly developing your business;
• Learn to play the guitar and improve your skills by performing for friends and at concerts;
• Find your love to continuously build, strengthen and develop relationships.

“Goals on the way”

If you remember, in the previous article we talked about life without goals. This point requires a more detailed explanation to avoid misinterpretations.

It is not the path that leads to the goal, but moving along the path involves achieving small goals.

Let me explain with my own example. When I decided to start a blog, I didn’t set goals like: “Create a popular blog that will be in the top ten.” Instead, I decided to take the blogging path. The path of constant development of writing skills, the path of continuous communication with readers and the path of new discoveries.

At first glance, this corresponds to the principle of “life without goals.” But not really. In my blogging journey, I am constantly faced with goals. My goal now is to finish this article. Next will be to write another article. Then I’ll want to improve something in the design. And so on.

It's like traveling through uncharted territory. A traveler walks through the forest, enjoying the beauty, the smell of freshness after the rain and the chirping of birds. Suddenly he comes out to the river. Now his goal is to get to the other side. Once this happens, his path will continue.

Then the traveler comes out onto a picturesque plain and sees a mountain. He decides to go upstairs. Now his goal is to conquer the peak and admire the view. When he rises, the goal will be achieved, but the path will continue.

It is this formulation of the question that is ideal, in my opinion.

This is the second principle of the success formula, which states: constant development and life in the flow, instead of setting goals.

“Moving in several directions at once”

Development in several directions is one of the most important principles of the success formula. It provides the necessary novelty of impressions and a change of activity. Doing one thing is like death for an irrational person.

Staying in the flow of variety maintains interest and prevents abandonment.

Spontaneously switching from one activity to another is like a friendly party. Imagine that you invited thirty of your best friends. With each of them you have your own interests. Everyone has something to talk about.

The party is in full swing and you want to give everyone attention. First you start a conversation with a friend, ten minutes later you are already talking with a friend. Half an hour later, you are actively participating in an engaging conversation with a small group of people.

By switching from one interlocutor to another, you will have time to talk with everyone overnight. Now imagine the party lasting a year! This time is enough to discuss a million different topics with each participant individually. The productivity is palpable.

But from this point of view, what does movement towards a single goal look like?

A similar example: party, communication. The only difference is that you invited one friend and are going to communicate with him for a whole year. Every day! At first it will be interesting for you to be together, but not for the whole year!

Therefore, success principle No. 3 sounds like this: diversity due to movement in several directions.

“What if I start to spread myself thin, doing several things?”

Let's first define what it means to “spray” in the negative sense of the word.

Spreading thin means grasping at several things at once and abandoning them without finishing them. Also, dispersal involves performing unnecessary actions instead of concentrating on the main thing. Simply put, being scattered is clogging your attention with trifles, changing goals like gloves.

It's easy to avoid this.

First, a list of directions will help us. Secondly, for each direction we will prepare a list of important actions. Third, we will need minimal control over directions. Fourthly, our list will contain only those paths to which the soul lies.

Throughout the day, switching from one direction to another, we will focus on the main thing. It's similar to spraying, but I would call it multitasking NOT spraying :)

“Getting ready for spontaneous planning”

Well, it's time to start practicing! We have already discussed the three most important principles of spontaneous planning. To master the other two, practical experience will help us.

STEP ONE

First, let's decide on the directions in which we want to move. This will be a list of all the paths you want to follow.

Take a blank sheet of paper and list in a column all the paths that are of interest to you. If you don’t know what you want to do, I recommend searching for your talents.

Please note that we do not list goals. We list the ways. Therefore, I recommend getting rid of thoughts about the results that can be achieved. Forget about success and fame. Focus on making sure that your activities are interesting and enjoyable.

Write until you run out of options. Turn off your inner critic. Now is not the time to think: “I have no experience in this,” “It won’t work,” “There are no opportunities,” and so on.

Try to ensure that each point answers the question “what to do?” For example: “Grow flowers”, “Write books”, “Train your memory”, “Learn and improve English”.

STEP TWO

The list of directions is ready. Now for each direction we write out the types of activities that we will engage in. Note that activities are not “Todo” lists. These are, rather, options for classes within one direction.

Begin the name of each activity with the words: “ Now I would do..." or " Now I would like to do...”

Let me give you an example. Let’s say there is a direction “Write adventure novels”. What types of activities does this include? Something like this:
Now I would start generating ideas for the next books;
Now I would start thinking about the plot;
Now I would start describing the characters and their motives;
Now I would start writing the next chapter for the draft;
Now I would start editing the text;

If you decide to take the path of learning English, then the list may be as follows:

Now I would read a book in English;
Now I would watch a film with English subtitles;
Now I would read a grammar book;
Now I would make up a few sentences with new words;

STEP THREE

For areas that involve monetary gain, complete one important task that will help determine the value of your work to others.

Separately write down the name of the direction and answer the questions:

What output value does my work provide? What product or service is it?
Why do people need this value?
What human needs do I satisfy with this value? What problems am I solving for them?
And when this need is satisfied, what changes in their lives?
And when this has changed in their lives, what happens next?
What will I get by doing this for people?
And when I get it, what happens then?

Nice list. Allows you to clarify the situation and get a couple of insights.

“The practice of spontaneous planning”

So, in the first two steps we have a list of directions with a list of activities for each. Now it is very important to hang it in a visible place.

Make the list available at any time. Print out several duplicates. Carry it with you. Irrational people tend to forget items on a list. Usually they say: “Yeah, okay. I already remember the list. I won’t forget.” It would be a mistake to say that.

First, when the time comes to act, irrational people often forget about the list and its contents. That's how they are built. Secondly, we will need the list to determine the internal responses that trigger the internal motor of creative energy into action.

WHAT TO DO WITH THE LIST?

When it's time to take action, take the list and read. As you read the points, pay attention to your internal body responses and emotions. Listen to how you react to each activity.

As soon as you feel that there is an inner desire and readiness to do something from the list, take action. Do this until you feel like you are about to force yourself to continue working.

At this moment, stop and praise yourself! It is very important. Reward yourself with a pleasant word, because you have just progressed along your chosen path. You deserve encouragement.

Now, for a change, switch to another activity. Review the list again, listening to feedback. You will notice that activities that you did not want to do a couple of hours ago are very attractive at the moment.

Having chosen your next activity, act until you feel that you don’t want to do it anymore. Don't force yourself to move on. This may lead to overshoot. If you exceed it, you may not have the desire to return to the activity for a long time.

We'll talk about excess in detail in the next article. For now, I want to quote the definition that Barry Fairbairn gives at seminars:

“Excess is a negative phenomenon that occurs when a person cannot track in time the optimal moment for completing an action and begins to “persist,” trying to do it further or longer than this moment. It has certain manifestations (unpleasant) and even more unpleasant consequences.”

This is the fourth principle of the success formula: do not exceed!

By the way, by switching from one activity to another, you provide variety, as well as control over directions. This is a very simple control. It avoids overspray and helps you focus in several directions at once.

Therefore, principle No. 5 is as follows: control directions.

It's like watching TV. The viewer sits at the screen and clicks channels on the remote control. When an interesting program or movie is found, the viewer remains on the selected channel for some time. When the movie is over, he continues to change channels in search of interesting things. Same with the list.

"Conclusion"

There is a lot more I want to say, but it’s time to finish. We discussed the basic principles of the success formula. Now, based on them, you can create your own system of spontaneous life, changing it to suit you.

Finally, a few words for those who go to work every day and do not have the opportunity to engage in their favorite activities (for now).

Using the spontaneous planning approach, you can create todo lists with a list of things that need to be done. The principle is the same: look through the list, choose what you want right now and do it for a while.

No priorities and no “eating frogs” first. Just what you want now. However, this also applies to those who do not go to work.

In general, decide for yourself how to use the formula for success. There are no strict limits here. Take for yourself what seemed most valuable. Now let's summarize:

• It is not the goal that should inspire, but the activity itself;
• Do what brings you pleasure;
• Instead of setting a goal, decide to take a path of constant development in some direction;
• Move in several directions at once, switching through the list;
• Don't lose your list. Keep it in an accessible place;
• Avoid excesses;
• Control the directions so as not to spray.

That's all. Thank you for staying until the end! I wish you success on your path to learning spontaneous time management :)

“When posting this text somewhere online, please indicate the author. Thank you!"
Best regards, Ivan Pirog
http://www.ivanpirog.com/

Editor Maria Brandes

Scientific editor Tatiana Andrievskaya

Project manager S. Turco

Corrector E. Chudinova

Computer layout A. Abramov

Cover design I. Raskin

Art Director S. Timonov

© Marilyn W. Atkinson, 2012

© Publication in Russian, translation, design. Alpina Publisher LLC, 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet or corporate networks, for private or public use without the written permission of the copyright owner.

© The electronic version of the book was prepared by liters company (www.litres.ru)

Introduction

Rainbow Flow

Process coaching and presence flow

The future enters us to be transformed within us long before it happens.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Thread State

The quality of an all-encompassing flow state is determined by inner aliveness, a sense of deep connection between your actions and your own values, and a transformative connection between you and the part of the external world you create. By feeling and being aware of flow, you feel empowered and free to choose, but you do so spontaneously and sincerely. You are fully involved in the process and it is trustworthy. Thus, the flow of experienced value naturally opens the way to self-awareness and the ability to value oneself. We relax and enjoy the moment, no matter what happens.

If you want to become your own coach, use this book to explore your own flow experiences in various areas. Develop your ability to achieve internal coherence and harmony. You will find that flow is easy to experience in a deepened and expanded coaching position. The state of flow is natural and you can easily experience it when you relax internally and focus on what is most important in your life, your goals today and the qualities you will need to achieve them.

Our definition of the flow state is the same as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's description. We'll walk you through how to get into a state of flow when coaching and working on any project. You will learn to observe your own internal process of “identity development.”

This state of “search and learning” will allow you to immerse yourself in a state of flow again and again and maintain it so that it becomes part of your ability to enjoy everything you do. Therefore, in this book we focus on identity formation and inner search.

We have observed that one of the best ways to achieve a state of flow is through a process of training and coaching that awakens and expands self-knowledge. To this end, solution-oriented coaches prefer to use some specific techniques and exercises that we introduce to the reader in our book.

Internal consistency gives a person access to an inner space in which every second can be used as a creative opportunity. We experience absolute confidence that we do not need to change anything either within ourselves or around us. With this kind of experience, we notice that everything is good just the way it is, and we experience a natural flow of joy even as we learn.

Creative flow

You may remember meetings with family, friends or colleagues, whether for fun or work, when the atmosphere was such that everyone was constantly joking or teasing each other, when humor and ideas were intricately mixed. Any task was then easily completed in a stream. I remember how, as a child, my family and friends and I collected berries together and then stored them for the winter - the energy flowed quickly and joyfully.

When you start creating, you feel like you can relax and enter a state of flow, appreciating your life with gratitude. In other words, by feeling and observing the results of your creativity, you merge with your inner “I”, which you can completely trust. The flow of creation naturally flows into a broader flow of inner possibilities. You take a step from attention to intention, from perception to growth and development in all areas of your own activities.

You begin to experience the state of flow even more often when you add observation to it. You integrate it by moving from intention back to “next level attention,” developing new awareness and a longer-term vision. When you recognize the value you receive, you feel fully engaged and experience a flood of joy. A deep attraction connects you with a flow of awareness and confidence in your actions.

You move between attention and intention, perception and growth, awareness and perspective, pushing the boundaries of your awareness higher and wider. Mystics called these the “noble steps” to an enlightened mind: first attention, perception and awareness, then intention, appreciation and action, and then again to perception, attention and awareness at a higher level. As the ancient Zen koan says: “First there is a mountain (we perceive), then there is no mountain (we act), then there is a mountain.” At the last stage, you move to an “even wider and more complete” perception.

A state of flow can be triggered by a creative idea. You can get into a state of creativity and, by asking yourself questions, come up with a great plan or find the right thought. Questions might include: “Who can I become if I implement this plan?” “What will I get as a result?” “What value will the world gain?” “How can I achieve the desired result?” “What should be the first step?”

During the development stage, ideas come to your mind. You work diligently to implement your plans so that everything works out. Your brain produces endorphins. And there comes a moment when all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. And then you relax again, moving to a new level of awareness. Flow is a state that you experience by paying close attention to the value in each of these stages.

With focus and commitment, you can learn to notice the moment when a state of flow opens up to you. Then, by adding facets of awareness, the flow itself will open many new doors for you. Your attention opens to streams of awareness as a result of observation, curiosity, gratitude, love, joy, surprise, understanding, excitement of action, consistent progress and, of course, pleasure. All people love a flow of pleasure!

There is a special magnetic pull that can be experienced by being in flow states, allowing yourself to float on their waves, learning to stay in it. In the following chapters we will describe these amazing flow points that are valuable tools that force us to go beyond emotional skepticism.

The purpose of this book is to help you, the transformational coach, recognize the development of inner flow and stay in this state, moving beyond the usual “negative” language and outdated beliefs that inhibit the inner flow of awareness. You can help others with this too.

format.doc, 146 pages, with illustrations, archive size - 370 KB

To be in a state of flow means to completely immerse yourself in what you love, with maximum concentration and without distractions. This is how you can achieve maximum results in any activity. In her new book, the author of a unique system of personal development, Marilyn Atkinson, will teach you how to enter a state of flow, capture it, and remove any barriers to personal growth and self-improvement.

Learn to experience sincere gratitude, love, satisfaction, the desire for creativity - and you will fill every day of your life with meaning! The purpose of this book is to help not only coaching professionals, but also all those interested in internal change, achieve internal consistency and self-realization.

“The quality of an all-encompassing flow state is determined by inner aliveness, a sense of deep connection between your actions and your own values, and a transformative connection between you and the part of the external world you create. By feeling and being aware of flow, you feel empowered and free to choose, but you do so spontaneously and sincerely. You are fully involved in the process and it is trustworthy. Thus, the flow of experienced value naturally opens the way to self-awareness and the ability to value oneself. We relax and enjoy the moment, no matter what happens.

If you want to become your own coach, use this book to explore your own flow experiences in various areas. Develop your ability to achieve internal coherence and harmony. You will find that flow is easy to experience in a deepened and expanded coaching position. The state of flow is natural, and you can easily experience it when you relax internally and focus on what is most important in your life, your goals today and the qualities you will need to achieve them..."

about the author

Marilyn Atkinson is the author of the Transformational Coaching trilogy: The Science and the Art. She created a number of concepts, processes and tools that you will encounter in the books. Marilyn is an internationally recognized coach and developer of coaching techniques, a consultant to many organizations, a master neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) trainer and psychologist.

Marilyn lives in Vancouver (Canada). She is known as an author and as a person with progressive views. Marilyn Atkinson is the founder and president of Erickson International University (www.erickson.edu), which provides ICF-certified coaching programs. Since 1985

Marilyn helped open 14 Erickson Training Centers around the world, teaching solution-focused coaching and consulting on four continents. Her presence energizes people and allows them to discover powerful personal development resources; she is an innovator who knows how to influence others.

More than 30 NLP institutes in many countries use its exercises and techniques. Marilyn's practical, systematic coaching skills and strategies have been called the Gold Standard of Coaching.

Often during consultations on numerology, when it comes to “life in the flow”, one has to face the question - how to learn to live in the flow? There are a lot of discussions around this topic, each of us has slightly strange friends who are “in the flow”, but it is not known in detail - what is it like to live in a feeling of flow? To help you figure it out, I wrote an article-guide on how to “start” the flow, how to feel it, based on everything I studied and what the best teachers taught me - my own students -)

This is especially true for those who have the number 11 in numerology. That is, if you were born on the 11th or 29th, or in November, or you were born in 1991, 1982, 1973, 1964, or the sum of all the digits of your date of birth is 11 (12/02/1986 = 2+1+2+1+9 +8+6= 29 = 2+9=11)
For those who were born in 1992, 1983, 1974, 1965 - you most likely know how to live in the flow, this is your main gift -))) But perhaps this article will be useful to you - to connect with your main resource!

You don’t have to start using the techniques below all at once tomorrow. Choose what resonates and begin to slowly implement it into your life. Or take yourself an 11-day “flow course” - think about one piece of advice every day, and try to live that day in accordance with your response to that advice. The flow will not keep you waiting!

So what can you do to “feel” the flow?

1) Give up slender, well-developed, rigid plans! Plans can be useful - they are what help us see the future, plan actions to achieve our goals and desires, and control the result. I am a project manager by profession, and believe me, I absolutely adore plans! I have a plan for everything - a 7 year plan, a daily plan, a plan to conquer the world and a plan for going out to buy vegetables. However, the plan is the most evil enemy of life in the flow! After all, if you are ossified in one single vision, you have no choice but to follow it, this vision. And along the way you miss a lot of chances - simply because you don’t have time to pick them up - you have a plan, timing, standards, while traveling - fixed dates for return tickets, in your career - a clear vision of who you are and where you will be in 5 years (yes, yes, answer HR that way next time when interviewing for a large foreign company - I don’t know where I will be in 5 years - like a stream... It was a joke, I hope you understand. HR is a separate conversation). If a plan is what motivates you to action, have a plan, love it, follow it, but be prepared to abandon it at any moment! Life is much more diverse than our best plans can provide.

2) Learn to watch for signs. Signs are if you are in a hurry to get to a meeting - but it’s as if the whole universe is against you today. The car, which has been perfect for 5 years, refuses to start. Now it finally starts - and after 5 minutes you puncture the tire. Cursing everything in the world, you get into the minibus to get to the metro - the minibus breaks down... and.. Think about it - maybe you shouldn’t go to this meeting today? You don't know why - but the signs say don't. Trust the signs. Sometimes it is better not to know what actually awaited you at that meeting.

3) Try for some time to “say “Yes” to everything that comes to you. Remember the old movie with Jim Carrey - “Always Say Yes”? If you have not seen this film and want to learn to live in the flow, watch this film, this is a great example of how a person was forced to follow the flow, and what came of it. Say “yes” to any opportunities that arise, be open to everything - and you will definitely be able to catch this feeling of flow.

4) Love strangers, chance encounters and amazing coincidences.
Try to believe, at least for a while, that everything that happens in your life is not accidental. The people you met “by chance” were sent for a reason. Those who have a developed sense of flow are excellent at receiving messages from strangers - often this is a person who appeared in your life only once, advised you to read some book - and disappeared forever. And this book, once read, completely changes your life.
Don't be afraid to seem paranoid and esoteric. After some time, paying attention to “accidents” and “chance meetings”, you will learn to distinguish a “flow” from just an acquaintance who came in for some bread.

5) Learn to listen to your inner instinct, to your supernatural intuition, which tells you - “I don’t know why I need this - but I’m going there now”, “I don’t know why I have to leave - but it’s time for us”, “I I don’t know why I should go there - but for some reason I have to go,” etc. In a state of flow, we are able to act even if we do not fully know or understand the situation logically. Learn to listen to your inner response. Allow yourself to be inconsistent, situational and flexible

6) Turn to God. Read holy books. Imbue yourself with the concept of God's will. Cultivate humility towards the divine plan. Pray to (any) God for guidance. Trust! Trust in divine providence, the flow, the supreme power is the key to following the flow of life, the key to a successful, calm, fulfilling, fulfilled life.

7) Live here and now! Don't go into the past - the past has already happened. Don’t live in the future - it has not come, and may not come, or it may come in a completely different way (the most unexpected). All we have is the present moment! Start with the little things. Don't eat on the go or while watching movies - instead, eat slowly, taste the food, close your eyes when you taste something. Do not talk to children superficially, thinking about your adult affairs and sorrows - look into the eyes of the child, stay with them in this moment - it will never happen again.

8) Learn from children. When we were little, we all knew how to live in the flow. We would go for a walk and find a small natural miracle - a snail - and stop to enjoy this miracle. We knew how not to follow the plan, but to do what we wanted now, at this very moment. We were able to feel the present so strongly, as if we had nothing else (this is why a child’s tears about a broken toy are so bitter, and the joy of candy is so boundless - because there is nothing else in this particular moment!)

9) Do what you love! Right today, right now - find moments to do what you love to do. Don't ask yourself - why? Why am I studying screenwriting - maybe it’s better to do something useful? Why do I need a floristry course - what about a management course? Drop rational, “right” questions. Your task is to feel the flow of life, and the easiest way to do this is by doing what you like. If you like to cook, cook, if you like to walk, take a walk, try to find in everyday life something that “turns you on” to the “alive/alive” state.

10) If there are difficulties in your life, and you are sure that you listened to yourself, your intuition, and did the best you could in the current situation, do not rush to blame the flow, ask yourself what this situation teaches you. What is flow teaching me through this situation? If there is no answer to this question, just let it go. Trust. Perhaps it will be revealed later - and you will find out “what it was all about.” But even if he doesn’t reveal himself, trust him anyway. Once again - trust is the key!

11) Dream! Allow yourself to dream. A dream is not a rigid plan. A dream is not an escape from reality into the future. A dream is a feeling of where you could be. And if it is God’s Will, the stream will help you get there.